A local Singaporean recently posted on Facebook to give advice to Singaporean women on how great is it to have children of their own. Though there is much hardship down the road, but the sacrifice is ultimately worthwhile.
Here is the full story.
I am married and I confess that I kiss 2 ladies every day. The first is my lovely wife. And lest you jump to any wrong conclusions, the second is my dear daughter. Of course my kisses with wifey will range from the lovely-dovey to the passionate; while I will peck my dear daughter on her forehead and her cheek. Why am I talking about my happy family? Because there have been quite a number of sharings here about young ladies not wanting to have children and some have even broken up with their bfs over this matter.I can fully understand why some young ladies don’t want kids. My gf didn’t want kids too and we had a huge debate and disagreement over it.
Ultimately, she relented not because she wanted kids but because she wanted to have my kids. I felt very moved and was determined to love her even more. Now, I am not trivialising the sacrifice of having kids. Raising kids is a very tough and humbling experience. A lot of sacrifice is needed, especially on the mother. Let’s not forget, the guy just has to contribute his sperm during sex, but the lady has to carry the foetus to full term and then give birth (which can be a messy process) and then suffer all the postpartum challenges, including possible depression. The hormonal rollercoaster ride can get crazy. These effects are something that a guy would never fully understand. Having babies will also change the lady’s body in dramatic ways. Most obvious would be stretch marks, some of which will never go away. A huge sacrifice, from being a wife to being a mother. But why am I saying all this? Is it to scare couples from having children? No, but to share my own experience.
Fatherhood is the greatest gifts a wife can sacrificially give to her husband. Having kids is something that a father can never achieve on his own. When my kids were born, it was a huge realisation of the huge responsibility before me, to love them and to bring them up. And to love my kids, it also means to give them a warm and conducive family environment. It means to love their mother even more. It means to dig deep, work hard, put aside my own personal desires (hey I want that nice car!) but focus on the family. Time to get serious about saving hard for the future and building up a strong foundation for the family. While I love my kids, I love my wife the most, and even more so now that she has given me my children and is such a wonderful Mummy and I salute her.So coming back to the objective of my post. This is a message to young ladies who have met whom they think their life partner is but cannot agree on the issue of kids. Put aside your own wants for the moment.
Ask yourself – the man that you want to marry, do you love him enough that you are wiling to sacrifice some of yourself and your desires in order to have his children? If your answer is yes, then you are truly in love with that man and you should marry him. If your answer is no, then I’m not even sure that the both of you are meant to be together. Marriage is about the couple giving all of themselves, to each other. In marriage, the two become one. Finally, have kids if and only if you want them. The worst thing that can happen is to bring innocent children into this world where they feel unwanted and unloved. Have a great day!