A Singaporean girl in her 20s recently shared her story on Facebook after recounting on how her brother molested her when she was young. She stated that even though her parents knew about the incident, they still stood by him and showered him with a lot of care. She did say that he went to prison numerous times compared to her as she was a star student.
Here is the full story.
I was molested by my brother when I was in primary school. I remember waking up to him watching p*rn in the background and before I could react, his hands were on me. The acts were terrible…and very specific instructions were given to fulfil his needs. This carried on for some time, maybe a year or two. As an adult now, I am certain that I was sexually groomed (he normalised his touching as a way of games etc) and as a young child, I followed along. I can still remember some of the incidents vividly. It’s disgusting and vile but I have learned to live with it.
What is second to most hurtful from that was the way my parents responded to the event. Perhaps I started to realise, or maybe I grew braver and I eventually told my mom. I remember her breaking down and I suppose she made a call to my dad. And that was it. The acts stopped but no one talked about it since then. I don’t remember any scoldings or punishment towards my brother. My parents never spoke about it again.
So I buried it.
I’m in my early 20s now and my brother still lives with my family. But I am coping well.
But as you can imagine, I have yet to forgive my brother. And for some reason, I feel this extends to my parents. They never acknowledged the pain I felt and growing up, they continued to shower him with a lot of care. E.g. He didn’t do well in school, went in and out of prison for other reasons but eventually did began his own business. He went in debt and parents borrowed and sold off their assets to help him.
On the other hand, I focussed all my attention in school. I did very well through my growing years and the universe was kind to give me scholarships and bursaries for my hard work. I pretty much supported myself financially from JC through Uni years. When in Uni, I made sure I stayed in halls to avoid being at home.
Sometimes I feel like reporting him…like ruining the fk out of him. For messing my childhood and for still having my parents sympathy. But I’m human, and I do feel that it’s not in my place to do that.
I’m probably just rambling at this point. But his businesses are in debt again and my parents gave me some money to keep because they keep giving him….and now they’re asking for it back. I usually give in, but I said no this time. I’m not giving in. I’m not going to let him win.
Am I wrong guys?
And also, at the end of my turmoil, my parents gave birth to another child. A younger sibling whom I consider very dear to my heart and I’ve guided her and cared for her as she grew up. She’s in JC now and sometimes I wonder if I should disclose my ordeal to her. My boyfriend disagrees because it might deeply affect her and I don’t want that too. But shouldn’t she know? Sometimes they’re really close and I get triggered. Nothing happens…but I’m just being very protective considering the sufferings I endured.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading part of my journey with me.