I, (F26) recently got married to my husband (M29). I and my younger sister (F15) are pretty close as my mom died when we were younger, and I acted as her mom while my dad went to work to provide for us.
Because of this, I chose my sister as my Maid of Honor. My husband was pretty on board with this as well. He and my sister are very close, he loves her dearly like she’s his daughter.
On the other hand, my husband’s family opposed my decision. I announced my choice during a family dinner with both families. When I did so, my MIL excused herself and FIL followed.
I was pretty confused because everyone gave me looks. They came back and told me that it was a family tradition to have the youngest daughter of the husband’s family as the Maid of Honor.
I was surprised because I’d never heard of a tradition like that. I kind of awkwardly chuckled and said “What kind of bullshit tradition is that? Sorry but I’m not doing that.”
The rest of the night was very awkward. I never brought up the situation again until the day before the wedding. I was finishing up planning for the wedding when my SIL (F20) came to the venue asking for her dress.
I was confused and asked “What dress?” She chuckled and said “Doesn’t the Maid of Honor have a special dress?” At that point I was fuming because I knew they had planned this without talking to me about it even when I told them AND my SIL that I wasn’t following the tradition.
I angrily told her “You’re not the f*cking Maid of Honor.” She stood shocked but eventually left.
I felt bad for the way I told her off but I already announced that my sister was my choice. I wouldn’t let them take control of MY wedding. The wedding did eventually happen with my sister as my Maid of Honor and SIL as one of the Bridesmaids.
It was so fun and honestly the best day of my life. But I could feel the passive aggressiveness of my husband’s family. Unfortunately, after the wedding, I got many angry texts from them and I saw hundreds of posts on FB saying how terrible I was for my decision.
I did feel terrible about the way I spoke to SIL so I apologized over text. She cursed me out and blocked me. I feel so terrible about the entire situation but I’m glad I stood my ground.
Have I done wrong? It’s my wedding and it should be up to me and my husband to be to decide.