My friends are calling me a ignorant person for refusing to go to a friend’s birthday party after they canceled our plans
This is a pretty conflicting situation and I don’t know what to think. I have been friends for years with that person but they do have a habit of canceling plans and often giving fake excuses.
Well it was their birthday this week so I offered to take them out for lunch. Everything was going very well, they seemed excited for it and I was too. I try not to be pessimistic but with their history of canceling stuff, it can be hard to not think about the chances of them canceling last minute.
Unfortunately, I was correct, the night before (pretty late at night too) they sent me a message saying how they really don’t feel good and that we will have to cancel the lunch plans. I try to be understanding even though it hurts me, but what really ruined it all for me is that they posted stories and pictures of partying with friends. It sent me through a pretty massive existential crisis after all this time of dealing with this behaviour, and I essentially cried all night.
They are the king of putting people on aeroplane
This is where I might be wrong though, the next morning I still checked on them to make sure that they were okay (old habits, even though I probably shouldn’t have). They said that they were still feeling really bad but that we should still see each other for dinner later that day.
I really didn’t feel like it so I told them that I’d think about it. I did consider going to not make the situation worse, and to not ruin their birthday, but I ended up saying that I really wasn’t in a good place to celebrate today, but that we could reschedule.
That’s what makes me think I did something wrong, as I essentially did the same thing that they constantly do to me instead of being honest. I hurt their feelings a lot by canceling and I feel very very guilty for that, but at the same time I’m really fed up with this entire situation.