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Saturday, February 4, 2023


My (33f) bf (33m) has been making it seem like he’s this successful business man this whole time. I feel so betrayed


5 years ago I sat myself down and questioned myself on what I truly wanted in a partner. When I came into this relationship I believed in the law of attraction. I actively saved money thinking that when I met my person, I would be ready to start a family. I thought that I would have my shit sorted out and likewise my future partner would too (if not financially then mentally). I did all this because I’m a women whose clock is ticking and I wanted to have alot of kids.

When I met my bf 2 years ago I made it known that I was serious, that I wanted to settle down and have kids. I gave him an idea of what my timeline looks like. He went along with it and told me that he would make it happen and that I didn’t need to worry.

He was spending money like crazy (I would question this and he would get mad and defensive) so I thought that he was just well off.

6 months into our relationship I tried to open the can of worms about finances. My end goal was to buy a house and start a family. When I did this my bf, a business owner, made me think that he had all this money saved up. He told me that he would never disclose how much was in his bank account. When I told him that I wanted a modest lifestyle he told me that he made x amount of money and that he wanted to buy this fancy house. He took me on these fancy vacations. He financed this expensive car etc etc etc.


Because of his lifestyle and him reassuring me that he has everything together, he wanted me to spend like him. When I refused, he made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him. He called me stingy. He made me feel like I needed to be this certain type of person who was giving and generous in order for him to open up to me about his finances.

Now fast forward 2 years in. I tried to be that person for him. I tried to give more of myself and be more generous (more then I would in a normal relationship). Since then he’s been more open and comfortable about talking about his finances with me.

However I’m now find out that he doesn’t make a much as he said he does. He doesn’t have all this money saved up like he said he did. He can’t afford this fancy house that he’s been constantly talking about.

In the past he told me that he would never disclose how much he has and now I’m finding out that I have more saved up then he does.

After all of this my bf says “just trust me I will do everything in my power to take care of you” which I believe BUT i’ve always been a lady with a plan. I don’t believe blindly. I think that everything can be planned for.


My clock is ticking (to have kids) and I feel extremely deceived. I feel like I could’ve found a partner who actually wanted to build with me.

Instead I found a partner who deceived me and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough this whole time while making me believe that he has all this going on for him. When I tried to be a partner who was good enough I find out that he has little going on for him if anything.

Is this something that can be worked upon? I feel like if I leave everyone will think that I’m this gold digger.

Really I just wanted someone to build with and now I’m questioning if I can do that with this man who I feel deceived me.

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