My bf [30M] wants me [25F] to stop wearing makeup, getting my nails done, and straightening my hair. Is he trying to control me?
My boyfriend recently told me he does not like when I wear makeup, get my nails done, straighten my curly hair, and wear perfume.
He said when I do so I am a fake person, I am disrespecting him and he constantly says I look and smell like a prostitute.
Mind you he knew before he started dating me that I like to do those things listed. I rarely get my nails done and I only straighten my hair when I am getting a haircut because my hair is easier to maintain.
I wear makeup to work but it is not heavy. I only do my eyelashes, eyebrows, and some blush. I love my perfume and I love smelling good I don’t see an issue with it.
I’ve told him multiple times that it is very disrespectful to tell me I smell like a whore and his rebuttal is that is what prostitutes smell like.
I told him I feel like he is trying to change me, control me and disrespect me. He claims he is not.
Netizens’ comments
- Hol up…..disrespecting him with choices you make about your own body? Leave this one alone
- Im a social worker who has spent a portion of my career working with domestic violence victims. While I can definitely say that this will escalate, this behaviour from a partner is often the early stages of domestic violence when they begin to establish control in a relationship. It is often followed by isolating the person from friends and family, heightened verbal and emotional control and ultimately physical violence.
- When my sister got her first boyfriend. First he told her he didn’t want her to wear blue eyeshadow, it made her look cheap. So she stopped wearing blue eyeshadow. Then he didn’t want her to wear any eyeshadow or mascara. She stopped. Then it was all make up. She stopped.
The thing is, if he’d told her he didn’t want her to wear makeup, she would have been like you’re ridiculous no. But he got her to do it bc the “requests” were small ones.
They’ve been married for 40 years. He’s never worked. She hands over her entire paycheck and he spends it as he sees fit. She does not have her drivers license and sometimes she’ll wait for hours after work for him to pick her up bc he’s at the bar drinking.