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Friday, February 23, 2024


I’ve been dating my bf for 7 years. He has a severe drinking problem and his justification of which is he has insomnia and can’t sleep. I suggested taking Melatonin and seeking other source of help i.e. talking to a therapist but he had refused to do the same.


He kept reiterating that those “help” wouldn’t help him as he didn’t want to rely on pills, the contrary is, he relies on alcohol daily (he starts drinking from the night till he is tired and/or the next morning) to help him sleep. In a result of this, our intimacy level has dropped drastically over time and I might have to come a realization that maybe I don’t love him that much anymore.

He is still a wonderful boyfriend, extremely sweet and helps me whenever I need assistance, be it financially or emotionally, treats me good or even better than any of his exes. I love him but this drinking issue needs to go, notwithstanding the issue of his parents doesn’t like me. I’m not close with my parents but my dad told me that if his drinking doesnt go, there will be a bigger issue in the future.

I need suggestion to help with his drinking issue. Please help.

Here are what netizens think:

  • Did his drinking problem happen recently? Or throughout the 7 years of dating? Have you told him about what you wrote here to him? Make sure he is not addicted or depressed.So, talk and talk and talk. Tell him all your concerns. If with every blood, sweat and tears he still doesnt stop, it’s not your fault. You tried your best. Only when he, himself realize it’s a problem, he will stop. Otherwise, there’s nothing you can do. It’s a complicated situation here.
  • He has a very serious addiction problem. Do NOT consider a future with him unless he’s willingly & actively taking steps to address this addiction.Drink because of insomnia? That’s an excuse. There are many many solutions for insomnia- including getting meds from a doctor.I’d actually advise you to dump him. But u say that aside from the drinking issue, he’s actually very good to you. So okay maybe can give chance.Time to issue him an ultimatum- either he seeks professional help with his drinking problem or you leave him. It’s that simple.Tell him you do not want to end up marrying a 酒鬼. Because it’s “just” drinking now. But in future he could become addicted to something else? Gambling? Going to prostitutes? Drugs? What next?Addicts will always be addicted to *SOMETHING*. Because the source of that addiction is a deep void within themselves or some kind of pain or trauma they’re trying to escape from.Hope this helps.
  • Listen to your father. No matter how much you love him or he help you in time of needs, you are going to have BIG issues in the future with his drinking addiction.Surely you can find a man better than him. He could have lost interest in you otherwise he should give up drinking. Do not waste your time, thevlonger you linger on the more painful it will be as time goes on. GL
  • It’s an addiction problem. He needs therapy and help because this will only get worse.You can only do so much for him by bringing your concerns to him. Ultimately, he has to realize the problem himself and want to seek help.
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