I recently moved to another country with my boyfriend and we are in our 30s. I used to live alone before coming to this new country, but my bf always lived with his mom.
She is adorable but I have never agreed on the way she treated him: she cooked, clean, store his clothes in the wardrobe and make his bed (Every day).
He used to wake her at midnight to cook dinner if she did not leave something served and even prepare his office outfit when he had to go to the office. He always was sure about that ‘his mom lived with him’ since he paid the rent, but he never was in charge of any of the paperwork or functions of the house (even supermarket).
Since we moved together, is being a challenge. I am finishing a PhD, working in a multinational company and being in charge of the house facilities.
As I am used to be independent for me is not a big deal, but we have some improvements in our relationship since he is more and more involved in (his & his mom words) “woman’s tasks”. Notice: he always lived with his mom even his parents get divorced 10 years ago and she always treated him like this. No girlfriend before me.
Baby steps like going to the supermarket together or him making his own breakfast have been happening in the last 6 months and he has opened his mind and being more adult.
I am going on a 2 months trip and this the first time ever he is going to live alone and be independent in a daily live task.
I am very happy because I know this opportunity will be very good for him and even he is expecting it. But, the other night I heard his momma planning to move the same country as us and I saw this old experience back again in our lifestyle.
Of course he did not mention it to me as (from what I heard) is a 3-year plan, but I am expecting him to bring this into a conversation at any time. I know she is not going to live with us but of course will take any opportunity to join us at any event.
She is very intense and I am scared that she will try to be again ‘his maid ‘ and he will allow it. If he would ask I would say “no” and no reasons because I know he would not like my reasons (he never say any bad on her &his behavior) but even if he insist I am willing to not continue with the relationship because my mental health is in the game.