My (26F) boyfriend (27M) proposed, but I don’t know how to say no without hurting his feelings
Me (26F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together for almost 6 years, and he recently proposed.
I wasn’t prepared for this and I didn’t know how to react, so I said yes as it was the expected thing for me to do, and he’s super happy and excited.
I love him a lot and I know he loves me too, I want to marry him someday, maybe in a few years, but not now or anytime soon. Nothing wrong with him, I’m just going through a lot in the moment and I don’t feel like this is the right time for me.
We always talk about absolutely everything, but this time I’m afraid of hurting his feelings. I’m scared that if I say no, or if I explain that I don’t have any plans of marrying him in a near future, this could potentially change our relationship.
How to say “no” to a marriage proposal when there’s nothing wrong with the relationship?
Just editing to include more information: I don’t want to marry him for now because my mother has cancer and I’m not going anywhere until she gets better or passes away. Unfortunately I can’t give him any specific timeframe.
Netizens’ comments
I’m sorry to be blunt, but you don’t. You don’t get to not hurt his feelings here, that’s just not an option.
If you turn him down, it will hurt his feelings. It will change your relationship. It may lead to a breakup, but will absolutely lead to a conversation about what your timeline does look like. And you need to be ready to answer that, with a concrete timeline, if you intend to continue dating him, or even having a long engagement.
Unfortunately, there’s no way to have this conversation and go back to how things were before the proposal happened, there’s just not. You need to accept that, and do it anyway. Sometimes, to do what’s right for yourself, you have to be the bad guy in someone else’s story.