My (24F) boyfriend (29M) refuses to call me beautiful.
We’ve been together for 5 years, and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s called me beautiful/gorgeous.
Those times were only when I asked him to do so. When I’ve asked him directly why he never calls me beautiful or anything similar, he tells me that I sometimes look pretty when I have makeup on, but he otherwise just hedges and changes the subject.
When I’ve broken down and asked him to tell my I’m beautiful, he does almost anything to avoid saying it and has even walked away.
The only time he lets any real attraction be known is when he wants to be intimate, and comments are only on my body, not my face. I’ve talked to him several times about how this hurts my feelings and self esteem, but he only says he is sorry he hurt my feelings. He has even said “I just don’t want to” tell me I’m pretty.
I don’t think he intends to be hurtful. I even think he is just being honest, which is the worst part.
Is this a dynamic I should just accept? Is this a problem worth giving me pause in our relationship?
TLDR: Boyfriend outright refuses to tell me I’m beautiful.
Netizens’ comments
- I think it is safe to say he’s not going to change this after 5 years.
- My now husband didn’t immediately start telling me that I was beautiful, but once we were definitely committed he started, and still does, tell me that I’m the most beautiful in the world TO HIM and I believe him. I’m not stereotypically gorgeous, but when you really love someone for who they are, that doesn’t matter anymore. It shouldn’t take 5 years, and this is either really manipulative of him, or really telling of his true feelings
- I used to date a guy who straight up said he wasn’t going to tell me I’m pretty/ beautiful just because. He hated giving me words of affirmation and even hated holding hands and small intimate touches I would give him on the shoulder (he would literally cringe).
Now I’m married to a guy who tells me every day that I’m beautiful and he loves me. Life is so much more enjoyable when you’re with a partner who meets your needs.
Do not stay with this guy if he’s not meeting you at your level. You deserve to be with someone who at least tries to make you happy in ways you’ve communicated that you need. - I had a bf who told me kissing me before going to work and when he comes home is too much work.
I ended it. Know your worth.