A man shared his story on how he buy insurance in exchange for trying to get his friend’s mom to bed. This is a continuation of this story.

Here is the story:

It’s been months since I send in the post to you guys, here is an update.

I was smarter this time, my friend’s mom ask me to meet her again to talk about the investment policy and I told her to meet me at a bar.

We sat down and I ordered a beer she insist on getting coke, but I told psyco her to get a beer as well. She said that she was not a good drinker and said that she will take her time with the beer.

She wanted to discuss the investment policy immediately but I insist on her to cheers with me first.

After a few mouthfuls of beer, she started to talk about the investment policy and I wasn’t listening, as the conversation goes on I pretended my interest and we were already on our 3rd pint.

She said that she was sleepy but her behaviour started to get eractic and laugh at everything I say, I knew it was the time to strike. So I got closer to her face and asked if she was ok. She came on to me!!!

Our lips touched and I was getting a bit scare as she was my friend’s mom but Im hella excited as well.

She was already drunk and I brought her to her car and said that I will be calling a valet for her, while we were sitted in the car, she started to came on me and we kinda make out.

I did not wanted to go all the way. I stopped her and called the valet.

By the time we were home, she vomited and I paid off the valet before bringing her up. I tried to sneak away before my friend sees me but she pulled me straight into her bedroom.

In the morning I had to climb out of her window and escape to the corridor, as I did not want my friend to see me.

In the end, I did not buy the extra insurance policy(but i bought it from it from her in the previous encounter) and this has been a secret from my friend.

Part 1 of story:

I am married with 2 toddler kids – both boys. Used to be in love with the wife but with the kids, I felt often neglected. Stress from parenting, and often angry wife, personality differences that are more apparent only now and a hectic environment made it very difficult to feel any romance at all. I was drained.

At the same time I got to know of someone… we chatted hit it off, and what I thought would have been innocent conversations became full of emotional dependence. I became refreshed, rejuvenated and fell in love with another woman. We went on dates, did what any couple would do together, and spending time with her felt so peaceful and made me feel relieved.

The areas that the wife could not fulfil emotionally and physically was met through her, and we had an affair together. We knew it was wrong, I knew it was wrong but something in me kept thinking that this could continue to keep me energized and feeling loved.

The affair was later discovered and I chose to work on keeping the family together at the expense of this new happiness I’ve found.

I’m worried something like this will happen again, and I can’t get over the love found in the other party. What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Busy wife. But as husband, did you help out? Or just sat there and watch her and expect her to come service you after her tug the kids into bed? Kids are joined effort from both parents. You’re a grown man. Use your big head to think. Not your small head.

• The hb often says the same thing to me, you’re always angry and shouting at the kids.It gets lesser now that my (also) two boys are now older, but recently it happened again… so last night when the kids (all three) were raising hell, I decided to it’s time to once again be the DNB and chill.Let’s just say it’s nice to let someone else yell at the kids for a change.Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at what your wife had been doing for you and the family and what you have done for her, the kids and marriage, then ask yourself have you fulfilled your role as a husband and father?
  
• Have you tried to put the spark back in the marriage? Did you realised that the fact that your wife, despite having all the rights to divorce your sorry ass, taking the kids and half your assets, has chosen not to do so and give the marriage another shot? Have you considered how much courage she need to have to try and trust you again?This may well be the last shot and you should make the best of it. Go for counselling, dump the kids with the in laws, make time for her and the marriage sans kids.Else spare your wife, have a quiet divorce, let her have some peace in her life and concentrate on the children with your financial support. Don’t be selfish and deny her the chance for some man better than you to love her.Also, your children will never look at you the same way, or forget the fact you broke up the family. They can forgive, but they will never forget who cause it.

• You say you feel neglected but did you do anything to lighten the wife’s load so that she may have the energy to not neglect you?

I (32m) have been dating my girlfriend (29f) for about 18 months. She has the cutest little 4-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

As our relationship has progressed I’ve been spending more and more time at my girlfriend’s place, to the point that I’ve all but moved in with them. This is mostly just because it’s logistically easier for me to go to her place since she has a kid and I don’t.

I work from 4:30 pm to 2:30 am. I get to bed by 4 am and then wake up around noon and then on most days head off to the gym and spend about two hours there total. I like to work out; it makes me feel good, keeps me healthy, and I also consider it a professional responsibility to stay in shape. Working 10-hour shifts means that I don’t have a ton of time in between shift but that I also have more days off than most working people.

This was never a problem until I (basically) moved in with my girlfriend. Suddenly lately when I wake up and try to head off to the gym she’s all “Oh, it’s all about you, huh?” Or “You only care about doing what you need to do. [My daughter] doesn’t understand why you are leaving and why you don’t want to spend time with us.”

The last time things came to a head. When my girlfriend started objecting to my going to the gym I told her “I’ll see you and [your daughter] for a little bit before I go off to work and then tomorrow I’m off and don’t have a workout scheduled so we’ll have the whole day together. But I have to get my workout in today. It’s a priority.”

She then responded “So, the gym is a priority, but me and [my daughter] aren’t? If you want to be part of this family it’s not all about you anymore. So what’s more important to you? The gym, or us?”

I responded “Well, if you’re going to force me to choose instead of making room for something that you know is important to me, then I guess I have to choose the gym.” I then left.

I’m sitting in my own apartment now. Things may be over. In fairness I should note that she wasn’t insisting that I never go to the gym again; she just wanted to renegotiate my schedule. But I was unwilling because I felt as if that would get in the way of my goals.

In this country with a high cost of living, it is understandable that the marriage rate is low but I believe there are also issues which cause people to dislike people from different genders. What are some of the reasons?

Respond 1

Just today, I said im happy to pay for my fiancé expenses since i earn a lot more than him and someone said that i was a sour grape who stayed with my fiancé only cause i cant get someone who earns more lol. His assumption was that women just want to pick the richest man lol.

I think the people here just dont have the exposure to normal girls. All they see is insta or tinder and well, i guess it presents a skewed perspective. I try to explain a bit of the women’s pov while im on reddit, i just hope it helps at least some ppl lol.

Respond 2

Here are the general sentiments I’ve gathered. Trying to be unbiased, just repeating what I’ve heard.

Men think Singaporean women are entitled, pampered, choosy & materialistic without a valid reason. They think lots of them have “princess syndrome”. Some also feel that women are too independent and refuse to settle down, which they see as a negative.

Women usually feel that Singaporean men are unromantic, rigid, uncultured. The usual complaints from friends is that they’re very one-note. Can only talk about school/work/NS or football/gaming.

My take? Of course, there might be some truth in these generalisations, but once you form these overarching opinions, you’ll force yourself to see them in everyone. Everyone is a either a GCB or a BBFA. I think people should (try) to let go of these preconceived notions when they meet people, give them a shot.

Respond 3

Both sides like to hiam each other, often relying on stereotypes – ladies are materialistic, always watch Kdrama. Men are superficial, only like to game and watch anime. But I honestly think these are just the unhappy and loud people on the internet, and they just need some attention.

Many of my friends in real life who are average people found love and are happy. Even those who didn’t found love also don’t feel the need to go online and bash the other gender, they choose to be happy in their hobbies and life.

Respond 4

Too sheltered. Too “standard life story”. Too many expectations of what a potential partner should be, but not enough self awareness/knowledge in what they can offer in return. Too much stereotyping. A lack of life experiences beyond what’s just in SG/mixing with locals, which gets painfully obvious if one studied abroad before and came back “home”. Superficial, easily distracted, no intellectual depth. Treats dating and love like ticking off checkboxes on a list, at the end of which you get your standard “happy ending Singaporean couple story”.

All these apply equally for both men and women.

I read here about marriage proposals that went wrong – guys not putting in enough effort etc. But marriage is so much more than just a proposal… there are so many other factors to consider.

I will tell you after 21 years of marriage… don’t marry unless you are very sure.

We went to pre-marital workshops to talk about anything under the sun. Talking is easy.

Doing chores, having kids, and even having nighttime activities is difficult.

Firstly, we had never even gone travelling alone before marriage, never stayed together at all before marriage.

It’s ok if both parties are serious about making it work..however, sadly people change. I feel like I ended up getting a shock. My hubby has never cooked nor has ever done a day of chores in his life.

We didn’t even know how to “do it” in bed. We needed to read books about it.

We didn’t even know that we both had fertility issues. We took three years to have our first child with Clomid and 6 years to have our kids via IVF.

And when it came to kids – the person who usually ends up giving up their job to take care of them is the woman. So the hubby who had promised to have a joint account at the start of the marriage suddenly decided to have an individual account.

Suddenly you realise all the promises of your money are my money and my money is your money is all nonsense… he changed. Knowing he is the sole breadwinner, he decides how much to give you and he keeps his own account from you.

He bought his “own car”, changed his job to do anything he wants as he has his own money.

Suddenly, after 21 years of marriage, you realised you had sacrificed so much for the family (injections, iui, ivf) but your husband acts like a single man.

He enjoys playing with the kids, but disciplining them and managing their studies, their handphone usage, their meals… all lies on your shoulders.

He continues to game and does not help with chores. He even continues watching “special videos” as if he was single.

Then you realised – why did you even marry in the first place?

The diamond, the promises that he will continue to love and protect you and do all the chores are just nothing but lies.

He just enjoys the fact that he has a family so he won’t be lonely. But other than that, he continues his single lifestyle.

So ladies, please open your eyes big big… don’t look at the proposal, don’t look at the diamond, the bank account, the house, the car, the degree.

Know if he is the guy you can spend the rest of your life with. As he is now, not what you hope he will be.

We are usually maternal and might give up everything for our family.

If given another chance… I would rather wait till I find a more suitable guy who truly loves me and keeps the marriage vows, than someone who will only keep the vows if you don’t disturb his gaming or interfere with his money.

Whenever my 9 years old son gets injured or hurt, I’d normally kiss the injured area as a way to comfort him and make the pain go away, I also use it as source of strength and he certainly sees it this way. I DO NOT kiss the skin directly but after I cover the injured area obviously.

My 35-year-old husband got into an accident and had an injury (wound) on the left part of his chest. He has 0 pain tolerance but he takes medication for it.

The other day I was helping change his wound dressing and clean up the wound, before I could place the new wound dressing he asked me to kiss it. I refused. it just didn’t feel right, his wound was still fresh and there was already antibiotic ointment applied there so I just didn’t want to do it.

He insisted and I kept declining,

He then got mad and said that I do this with my son why not him. I suggested that we just let it go and proceeded to apply the new wound dressing. he stopped me and went on a long vent about how I don’t care about him and that I clearly feel grossed out by him to not want to kiss his wound. I thought that was silly, I told him to let me finish changing the wound dressing but started arguing and had me leave the room. I left and he kept sulking for the rest of the night. he then told our son that mommy doesn’t love daddy and don’t want to kiss his wound so he could get better. I was floored, my son actually came at me for upsetting my husband and just made me feel bad all around.

I kept thinking that I caused this situation and should’ve just done what he wanted me instead of creating this tension in the house.

So what do you think?

wife wanted an open marriage for years. i gave in

For years she wanted one and I always said no thanks. Its not what I want. She tells me she’s unhappy. She’s not monogamous. She was either going to do it and hurt me or leave me and hurt me or don’t do it and hurt herself, I didn’t want to lose her so gave in.

I said we would try it. And as expected I hate it. She has several guys. After her and her after them. She only wants fwb no relationships. I can’t stand the thought. It made me think violent thoughts. The other night she was nearby with one of them and I legit had the thought to go confront them. That isnt me. I’m a very calm person and never want to incite violence.

But when I thought about it I was one binary option away from doing something that I would have regretted..

She doesn’t want to stop. I told her I wasn’t ok with this anymore. And she hit me with well I’m having fun and I don’t want to stop. I see that it’s ruining our relationship.

Before I agreed to being open our marriage wasn’t great. We have had issues for a long time. Me not engaging with her how she likes. Or even having hobbies together.. Maybe I deserve to watch her connect with people like we never could.

So we’re done. We’re gonna get a divorce. But idk when because divorces aren’t exactly cheap. And I’m the only income. I have her car payment. Her insurance. Our rent. I can’t pay for a divorce rn. also since she doesn’t have a job she can’t move out. So I lm here with her. Together but not together. It’s maddening.

Everyone is Saying to divorce and stop paying for everything, but it’s not that easy. She’s the mother of my child. But I can’t have her lose her only way to potentially get food for my child.

Like I had said our marriage before being open had it’s fair share of problems.

We got married too early. We had a child too young. We placed ourselves in boxes that no longer fit, she changed or rather she embraced what was there. She started choosing herself. After years of putting us first and being unhappy. I can’t be mad at her.

I do wish she could just not… At least until we are separated. And I dont have to sleep in the same bed..