I’ve been married to my wife for 6 years now. When we got married, she said she wanted to do minor cosmetic procedures on her face to help with her insecurities. She had been insecure her whole life so I was as supportive as I could’ve been. She got lip filler and Botox on her face.
After a few months, she got more lip filler and her lips looked scary to me, but she was very happy with them so I didn’t say anything.
Next she wanted to get her chest done. Again, she was happy with how they turned out but I thought they looked weird.
They were so big and stiff, and my wife is a petite and skinny woman so it just didn’t look proportional to the rest of her body. But again, it made her so happy so I was fine with it.
Last year, she said she was going to get a BBL. This time I actually told her I wasn’t going to support her on this one because it’s a dangerous procedure.
There was a story on the internet that went viral a month or so prior about a woman who died during her BBL procedure. I was scared. I asked her if she could see a therapy or psychiatrist about her body dysmorphia before doing this but she refused and said it hadn’t helped when she tried it before.
She said she was doing it with her own money anyway so I didn’t have a say in it. I shut up and took care of her after the procedure.
I was so glad she was safe and the procedure went well but in all honestly, it was horribly done. The doctor made her hips so wide. Her thighs and waist were really small so again, it just didn’t look proportional.
Now the problem is I genuinely don’t find her physically attractive anymore and I don’t know what to do about it. I want nothing more than to be madly attracted to her as I was years ago.
But everything she has done to her body makes her look slightly terrifying to me. I love her and don’t think that will change, but I hate getting intimate with her now. I don’t enjoy it but her libido has increased since the BBL (probably because she’s more confident now) meanwhile mine has basically tanked.
I thought of talking to her but I’m not sure what good that will do besides make her feel bad. There’s nothing that can be done now anyway.
She’s confident and happy in her body for the first time in her life and I don’t want to ruin it, so I obviously won’t ever say anything to her about this. I love every other aspect of our relationship so that’s just going to have to be enough.
I obviously can’t say this to anyone in real life so here I am. Just wanted to get this out.
Hiring Manager sent interview notes to me directly Yesterday I interviewed at a company that advertised a role as hybrid. Upon my in-person interview, the hiring manager expected me to come to the office 4-5 days a week, which I voiced was not what was listed.
Today, I received an accidental email from the hiring manager intended for the recruiter saying, “candidate wants to work remote and was dressed inappropriately in work at home attire”. I went out and bought a new outfit for the interview and ran it by half a dozen people beforehand. The email ended with “please repost the job listing”.
I’m flabbergasted. Do I reply?!
UPDATE: I replied briefly and professionally. Clearly it was not a fit for either of us. While I’d love to be snarky, knowing the hiring manager is likely squirming after being chewed out by HR is enough. Dodged a bullet!
Netizens’ comments
I’d personally write back just so he knows what a dumbass he is. Maybe say something about how inappropriate it is to advertise hybrid for a nearly full time in office role.
Send response “Hiring manager somehow landed managerial position despite lack of attention to detail ensuring email was sent to proper parties & not candidates. Please post listing for capable manager. Thank you.”
“Hi, (hiring manager) I believe I inadvertently received this email from you, which describes your candid thoughts on our interview to your internal team. Although I am sure you didn’t mean to send this to me, I am grateful you did. I am pleased to not be moving forward with a company that advertises a role as “hybrid”, and then proceeds to “bait-and-switch” a candidate with the expectation of working in an office nearly 100% of the time. If your organization cannot be honest during your hiring process, I would not be surprised there would be other areas in your operations which would also lack integrity I wish you the best of luck for finding a candidate more suitable for your demonstrated company culture Regards, Candidate”
“Manager is blatantly lying about both the nature of the job, and my tasteful outfit (picture attached). Manager lacks competence, and sent sensitive interview notes directly to candidate. Please re-train or replace manager.”
Why Do Singaporeans Use “Actually” So Frequently? It’s almost as if every statement made is supposed to be special.
“This dining table is actually made of wood. I actually got it on sale, and while I don’t actually use it for dining, it actually sees frequent poker action with my friends.”
The above is a bit exaggerated, but you know what I mean. A simple YouTube video will easily show this. I’m actually certain this isn’t actually Singlish.
Netizens’ comments
Actually you are right
actually what we say is acherly
Filler words. It’s not just “actually”, but also words like “like”, “so”, “basically”, etc. I credit it to our mouths running faster than our brains, and we automatically use filler words while our brains catch up. Sometimes it’s helpful to plan out our words before speaking them.
I know of a colleague who will start his sentences with Actually. Sometimes he switch to start with Basically
Actually its not really much of the meaning of the word but actually you can grab more attention with that. Actually i think thats a hypothesis from me, Actually
I find the word “itself” to be much more common, and much more cringeworthy. Just watch any Property Lim Brothers video and you’ll know what I mean. “So this 5 bedroom unit itself has been tastefully renovated. It is located right in the heart of district 11 itself.”
I mean what really is “singlish”. we’ve never properly defined it and it can be said that using the word “actually” is just a singlish thing. Language is interesting in the sense that words have trends and actually is just a popular word that used in sg a lot. Theres no particular reason behind it, the same way Irish people use the word “wee” they’re not genuinely referring to something as small its just a thing for them.
Actually because it helps us to prep the listener that we are about to present a different viewpoint from what he is expecting. So it’s a very efficient way to do that in one word.
Because, in general, Singaporeans tend to be quite sceptical and cynical. So we use “actually” to mean for real, not like real.
Gave my resignation. Ruined my manager’s personal plan and they’re now trying to make my life hell. How do I not burn bridges?
My manager has turned into the devil ever since I have my 2 weeks notice, she is taking my resignation way too personally and it’s unfortunate because I honestly felt like I had accomplished a lot at this company and wanted to leave on good terms.
Basically my manager wanted to move into a more senior role within our company (nobody in our team knew) and started sneakily transitioning all of her work to me and pretty much didn’t wanna do any work over the past month.
Thankfully, I had started looking for a job way before all of that shit went down and this week I gave my resignation.
I could tell she was visibly upset although she tried to show she wasn’t. Now because I’m leaving, she’s f-ed and can’t move into the senior role that she was looking for within another team and is stuck having to manage our team which she obviously doesn’t enjoy.
Ever since, it’s seems like she’s basically coming for me, trying to turn my last few weeks at this job into hell. She’s forwarding every single email directed to her, asking me to handle them, giving me all the work that she’s supposed to be handling in her role and she’s asked me to complete a lengthy off boarding documentation processs.
She provided me a blank template of the lengthy off boarding documentations that she needed me to fill with a 2-3 day turnaround, even though it’s not even my last week.
So I filled it out to the best of my ability and shared it with the team because that’s what she wanted me to do. Then she publicly humiliates me in front of everyone in the team chat saying that this is not what they’re looking for, that she’ll provide me with a real and good example of what the documentations should look like (which I don’t know why she didn’t provide me in first place and why provide me with a blank template) and is now adding 10 more documents that she wants from me to complete before I leave, which she never ever mentioned she wanted during our private meeting regarding the off boarding process.
She’s condescending to me in emails saying things like “this is clearly this and that.. do that..” kind of thing.
I genuinely do not understand, I viewed her highly and we had a good relationship prior to my resignation but suddenly everything changed and it feels personal.
Then on wider team meetings when announcing my departure she spoke so highly of me and everything.
I do not want to give in to all her unreasonable and last minute requests, because they make no sense and she basically wants me to do all of this so that she doesn’t have to do anything for when my replacement comes.
But at the same time, I’m going to be moving to another company within the same industry and I do not want to burn bridges.
I would’ve wanted to use her as a reference in the future as I don’t have such a lengthy work history but that seems impossible now.
What would be the smartest way of dealing with this?
I love this woman more than life itself. She is the most selfless, supportive, and loving person I have ever met. Every single day I am with her I am a better person for it. That being said:
She sleeps like an a-hole.
We start all cuddled up like a Disney movie, snug as a bug in a rug. And then, when she falls asleep, we begin the nightly turf war that is our bed.
She will often start with a classic starfish maneuver, spreading her arms and legs to establish a beach head to begin her insurgence.
She will then begin to slowly rotate her body in a counter clockwise fashion, until she is sleeping diagonally across the bed, establishing an ingress with her feet and legs.
Then, with a classic pincer executed as ruthlessly as Hannibal himself, she brings her upper body forward, pinning me in and leaving me exactly 2 inches for my insomniac ass to try and sleep on.
I then try to slowly slide out of bed, and sleep on her side, in which her reaction is to do the same thing 5 minutes later.
I have tried everything. We bought a California King for our tiny bedroom. I establish a green zone with pillows. I have even gently picked her up and slid her to her side, to no avail.
The thing is, I can’t sleep in an empty bed anymore because I love this dummy so much. It has literally kept me up nights that I end up going to work with no sleep, and I can only sleep the next night out of sheer exhaustion. She also works hard, so I can’t wake her up but f I am so damn f-ing tired man
My Girlfriend (24f) just confessed to me (26m) that she’s always faked her coming. How can I support her better?
Today, my girlfriend of 6 years came up to me and politely confessed something that shook me up quite a bit.
She mentioned that she’s never finihed during penetration, although cl!toral stimulation does the trick for her.
We’ve lived together for the entirety of our relationship and had a pretty active and open sex life, experimented and tried new things every now and then and I believed that we’ve always been open and honest with communication in bed. She would always mention that she’s close to coming during penetration and finish with an appearance of satisfaction/relief.
I think it hurt quite a bit when I found out that she had been lying about it and never quite felt comfortable sharing this with me, because frankly the fact that she can’t finish during penetration is not even close to a deal breaker for me.
In hindsight, I would have been more attentive to what she enjoys and focused on that instead of what can’t happen. What bothers me is that it took her 6 years to talk to me about this.
I know that she’s had a rough history with toxic relationships in the past and probably felt a lot of shame that prevented her from talking about it, but I feel like my trust in her has been affected quite a bit. We’ve also spoken about both of us getting individual therapy to work through some of our respective past experiences but neither of us has ever taken the first step to actually getting help.
I guess what I’m really looking for is advice on how to better support her and myself + process all of this because i don’t feel prepared at all at the moment.
Is it fair for company to deduct our commission due to the business being subjected to tax because of how well we did?
Our company reached 1 million in sales last year, hence they are now GST registered. Hence, whatever the company earns, they are subjected to pay tax of 8% to the government.
However, our boss recently deducted the GST (8%) from our commission amount, citing that they have to pay those to the government. How is that OUR problem? This is how business with the government work. It has nothing to do with the employees. Why do the employees need to chip in to “pay” the gst tax? This is between the government and business.
Commission is our hardwork. We went out of our way to achieve those.
Shouldn’t they put the 8% on the clients instead of punishing us?
We helped the company reach new heights. We ACHIEVED the million sales. Instead of rewarding us, they are punishing us.
The other departments did not achieve 1 million in sales so their commission remains unchanged, not deducted.
Had we known this would occur, had we been TOLD that this would happen, we would NOT have strived for the 1 million sales figure.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Disclaimer: I’m helping friend to post because my account is older apparently lol
Netizens’ comments
No such thing as other dept don’t have. Company pay GST as a company. Anyway GST should be charged on the selling price. Unless company decided to absorb but not at your cost
So if you guys had earned 1 dollar less than a million you wouldn’t have had 8% deducted?
It has nothing to do with fairness or “the gahmen”. Is your commission structure contractual? If it’s not, all you can do is co-ordinate within the department to not make more than 1m going forward. Try to push some sales to the next reporting period.
Send the MOM and IRAS an email using burner account (get email written by someone else). Copy your boss and entire department. Copy the bigger bosses if there are any. Layout charges of commission manipulation and questionable tax practices.
Teenage Brothers Among Youth Drug Syndicate Members Arrested
Six Singaporeans, including a pair of teenage brothers, were arrested for suspected drug offences in an operation conducted by the Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) on 26 July 2023. In this island-wide operation, about 986g of ‘Ice’, 7,816g of cannabis, 452g of ketamine, 183g of ‘Ecstasy’ tablets, 1,218 Erimin-5 tablets, 31 LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) stamps and 1,319g of unknown liquid suspected to contain controlled drugs, with a total estimated value of more than $497,000, were seized. An offensive weapon was also recovered. The seizure of 986g of ‘Ice’ can feed the addiction of about 560 abusers for a week, while the seizure of 7,816g of cannabis can feed the addiction of about 1,110 abusers for a week.
Jurong East Avenue 1: A couple in their early 20s arrested for suspected drug trafficking
CNB officers raided a residential unit in the vicinity of Jurong East Avenue 1 in the afternoon of 26 July 2023, and arrested a 23-year-old man and 22-year-old woman within. A search was conducted, and about 105g of ‘Ice’, 1,248g of cannabis, 30g of ketamine, 228 Erimin-5 tablets, 31 LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) stamps, 106g of ‘Ecstasy’ tablets and 1,319g of unknown liquid suspected to contain controlled drugs were recovered.
Yishun Avenue 6: A 23-year-old woman arrested for suspected drug trafficking
A separate party of CNB officers raided a residential unit in the vicinity of Yishun Avenue 6 the same afternoon and arrested a 23-year-old woman. A packet containing about 64g of ‘Ice’ was recovered from her. Officers who searched the unit seized a total of about 800g of ‘Ice’, 6,470g of cannabis, 162g of ketamine, 77g of ‘Ecstasy’ tablets and 590 Erimin-5 tablets.
Jurong West Avenue 5 and Jurong West Street 74: Two teenage brothers and a man in his late 20s arrested for suspected drug offences
A simultaneous raid by CNB officers at a residential unit in the vicinity of Jurong West Avenue 5 was conducted. A pair of teenagers aged 17 and 19 were arrested and about 11g of ‘Ice’ and 23g of cannabis were seized from the unit. A ‘Karambit’ knife was also recovered. A 28-year-old man was also arrested in the vicinity of Jurong West Street 74, with 4g of ‘Ice’ found on him. CNB officers escorted the man to a riser located in the same vicinity, and a bag containing about 2g of ‘Ice’, 75g of cannabis, 260g of ketamine and 400 Erimin-5 tablets was recovered.
Photo 1 (CNB): Controlled drugs, including ‘Ice’ and cannabis, seized in the vicinity of Jurong East Avenue 1 in an island-wide operation conducted by CNB on 26 July 2023.
Photo 2 (CNB): A total of about 800g of ‘Ice’, 6,470g of cannabis, 162g of ketamine, 128 ‘Ecstasy’ tablets and 590 Erimin-5 seized in a residential unit in the vicinity of Yishun Avenue 6 during a CNB operation on 26 July 2023.
Photo 3 (CNB): A bag containing about 2g of ‘Ice’, 75g of cannabis, 260g of ketamine and 400 Erimin-5 tablets recovered from a riser in the vicinity of Jurong West Street 74 in a CNB operation conducted on 26 July 2023.
DAC Aaron Tang, Director of Intelligence Division, said of the island-wide operation:
“Yesterday’s anti-drug blitz to disrupt the operations of drug syndicates saw large seizures of drugs and the arrests of young drug offenders. Syndicates are heartless and have no qualms in getting young people addicted to drugs and involved in serious drug offences that carry severe consequences. CNB will continue to keep up the pressure against drug syndicates and traffickers who profit off the misery of drug abusers and their loved ones. Investigations into the drug activities of all arrested suspects are ongoing and we intend to keep the hunt on for those connected with these cases.”
Under Section 5 of the Misuse of Drugs Act 1973, it is an offence for a person, on his or her own behalf, or on behalf of any other person, whether or not that other person is in Singapore, to traffic in a controlled drug, offer to traffic in a controlled drug; or to do or offer to do any act preparatory to or for the purpose of trafficking in a controlled drug. If a person is found guilty of trafficking more than 250g of methamphetamine or 500g of cannabis, he or she may face the mandatory death penalty.
In a disturbing incident that took place on December 14, 2022, a 10-year-old boy was caught on video throwing a black cat named Panther off the 22nd floor of a Housing and Development Board (HDB) block in Boon Lay.
An update about the case was provided by the Animal & Veterinary Service (AVS) on July 28, 2023, shedding light on the subsequent actions taken to address this concerning behavior.
Understanding the Boy’s Mental State
The initial step in addressing this distressing incident involved evaluating the mental state of the young boy. A comprehensive psychiatric assessment at the Institute of Mental Health indicated that he had not yet reached a level of maturity to fully grasp the severity of his actions.
According to Jessica Kwok, AVS’s Group Director, this crucial assessment played a pivotal role in determining the most appropriate course of action for the child.
Considering the boy’s age and the outcomes of the psychiatric evaluation, AVS introduced a customized Diversionary Programme tailored specifically for him.
Carefully scheduled during the boy’s June holidays in 2023, this one-month program aimed to enlighten him on various facets of animal welfare, responsible pet care, and the significance of harmonious coexistence with animals.
The educational aspect of the rehabilitation program placed a strong emphasis on nurturing empathy and understanding within the young boy.
He received comprehensive knowledge about the importance of animal welfare and the local regulations safeguarding the well-being of animals. Additionally, he gained insights into the specific needs and behaviors of cats, particularly those living alongside human communities.
Delivering these lessons in an age-appropriate manner ensured that the boy truly comprehended the essence of treating animals with compassion and respect.
An essential component of the educational segment was instilling a sense of responsibility toward animals. The boy was made fully aware of the obligations that come with being a responsible pet owner, stressing the vital role of providing proper care, affection, and attention to pets.
By understanding the gravity of pet ownership, the boy developed a deeper awareness of the consequences of his actions, both for Panther and the community.
Complementing theoretical knowledge, the rehabilitation program incorporated practical experiences. Accompanied by his father, the boy visited a cat shelter where he actively participated in caring for the feline inhabitants.
Under the expert guidance of shelter staff, he learned essential skills such as feeding, handling, and grooming the animals. This hands-on approach facilitated a profound connection between the boy and the cats, underscoring the significance of creating a safe and nurturing environment for them.
Following successful completion of the rehabilitation program, AVS conducted an assessment, affirming that the boy had effectively absorbed the lessons. During a debriefing session, the young boy genuinely expressed remorse for his actions.
He earnestly requested AVS staff to convey his heartfelt apologies to Panther’s guardians, acknowledging his wrongdoing, and solemnly promising never to engage in such behavior again.
Recap
The incident took place at 186 Boon Lay Avenue. The CCTV’s date is 14 December 2022 at around 1.35 PM.
A child could be seen walking around outside a lift lobby and after picking up the cat and making sure no one is looking he threw the cat out of the building.
A petition calling for justice for the cat that was thrown down from the 22nd floor of a HDB building in Boon Lay was started by a netizen.
The petition on Change.org has since garnered more than 90,000 signatures from supporters.
The netizen, Nadya Im, said in the description of the petition: “Cat killer in Boon Lay. Brought old docile community cat up to the 22nd floor and threw it to its death. In the original video that has since been deleted, a loud bang was heard shortly after the cat was flung over. What kind of monsters are we living with???”
Netizens’ comments
Lock him up and throw away the key, what a disgusting excuse of a human being. 10-years-old so what? Murder is murder.
The person doing this is a murderer no matter the age. First they start with animals then they have will no conscience towards fellow human beings. Don’t let this slide
That kitty deserves justice and I hope this kid gets the help he needs or more senseless violence will continue. His parents should answer for how this kid is so disturbed at such a young age
The poor cat does NOT deserve such a tragic death. This is wrong.
i’m not sure if this child is acting out because he needs attention, but what’s next for him after his torture of animals? but we need to show that this behavior is simply not socially or morally acceptable and that any form of animal cruelty will not be tolerated!
We need tighter laws on animal cruelty no matter if the perpetrators are children or adults. From his furtive behaviour, this kid obviously is VERY much aware of his actions. No I don’t care if he is a child. He is obviously old enough to know better. There are consequences to your actions and he needs to know this.
Wanted attention from family
Following the virality of a video, the boy’s motives for doing so have since been revealed.
According to Lianhe Zaobao, a resident living in the same block named Cai Meimei (Chinese transliteration), said that the cat was named Panther.
Cai, a 47-year-old bus driver, told the Chinese daily that she was very sad about the cat’s death, and added that there had been at least 5 cats dying after falling from height in the neighbourhood.
But she couldn’t confirm if the other cats had fallen from the block themselves or were thrown down by people.
Cai said she had confronted the boy who threw Panther down from the block the next day, asking if he was the one who threw the cat down the block.
The boy had initially denied doing so but eventually admitted to his actions after Cai showed him the CCTV footage.
The boy then said that he had killed the cat because he felt a lack of love and attention at home, from his family members.
A 10-year-old boy who plays hide and seek with the now-infamous cat killer, described him as being a quiet boy who usually smiles.
The incident, which took place on 24 July 2023 at approximately 10.55pm, left a 48-year-old man with severe injuries, including stab wounds and a slash to his face.
According to the police statement, officers from the Ang Mo Kio Police Division responded to an alert about the assault, which involved two men attacking the victim.
After the vicious attack, the assailants quickly left the area. Emergency medical services were called, and the injured man was promptly taken to the hospital, where he remains conscious and is receiving medical treatment.
Following the incident, law enforcement authorities initiated an extensive investigation. With the aid of images from Police cameras and CCTV footage, the officers were able to identify the alleged attackers and track down their whereabouts.
Subsequently, on 25 and 26 July 2023, the police successfully apprehended the two suspects. In connection with the assault, the authorities seized two knives as case exhibits.
Preliminary findings from the investigation suggest that the victim and the assailants were known to each other, and the attack appears to have arisen from an unresolved dispute between them.
Both suspects are now facing charges of voluntarily causing hurt by dangerous weapon under Section 324 of the Penal Code 1871.
If convicted, they could face a punishment of imprisonment for up to seven years, a fine, caning, or any combination of these penalties. The Singapore Police Force reiterates its commitment to ensuring public safety and maintaining law and order within the community.
Singapore Police Force Statement
The Police have arrested two men, aged 41 and 54, for their suspected involvement in a case of voluntarily causing hurt by dangerous weapons.
On 24 July 2023 at about 10.55pm, the Police were alerted to a case of assault along Buangkok Crescent, where two men allegedly assaulted another 48-year-old man. After the attack, the two men fled from the scene. The male victim sustained injuries including stab wounds and a slash to his face, and was conveyed conscious to the hospital.
Through extensive ground enquiries and with the aid of images from Police cameras and CCTV, officers from Ang Mo Kio Police Division established the identities of both men and arrested them on 25 and 26 July 2023 respectively. Two knives were seized as case exhibits. Preliminary investigations revealed that both men were known to the victim and the alleged assault arose from a dispute.
Both men will be charged in court on 27 July 2023 with voluntarily causing hurt bydangerous weapon under Section 324 of the Penal Code 1871. The offence carries a punishment of imprisonment for a term of up to seven years, a fine, caning, or with any combination of such punishments.
The Police will spare no effort to track down those who commit such brazen acts and will take firm action against them in accordance with the law.
PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE 26 July 2023 @ 10:55 PM
