A netizen shared how he is struggling to make ends meet to put food on the table for his family and wonders if he is breaking the law by working two jobs.

Here is the story

I need some advice from the general public without exposing myself in case I have broken the law.

Due to the rise in costs and zero pay increases, with many mouths to feed and many expenses to pay… I have picked up a second job without informing either employer.

However one is self employed and the other is a more of a traditional office job but work from home and in a different industry. Am I allowed to do so ? After all it’s not good to my family if I have to pay any fines or serve jail time… I just wanted to give my family a better life and be able to eat a little better every now and then.

Currently we are barely making ends meet and on some days me and my SO have to eat instant noodles just to make sure the young and old have proper food.

Hope to hear from you guys.

– desperate Singaporean-

Netizens’ comments

• As long as there is no conflict of interest and you are doing outside of your employment time and not using company resources, I don’t think they care. If they caught u, just quit. Won’t be jailed lah… cost a lot of money to jail someone.

• I don’t think you have broke any law if you take 2 jobs to make ends meet. Employment is a contract between you and the employer.

• Talk to your employer about your current situation. Better to have transparency from the onset and whether your employer is able to make any better adjustment. Rather than for you to worry yourself out with this and tire yourself out with the second job too..

My best friend is currently leaving her boyfriend because for the past 6 months he’s been unemployed and has made almost no effort to find a job. He plays video games and watches youtube almost all day and barely cleans or cooks, she pays the majority of the bills and a vacation. How many of us women here have either supported or knew someone else who supported a man like my best friend’s now ex? I’m sure a lot of you have, and I have my own story.

When I was 23, I found out my fiancé of 4 years was cheating on me. He was on and off employed, never cleaned or cooked. I was very naive and insecure back then. I was overweight and was called names throughout all my years in school, he took advantage of that.

He messed up his credit with credit cards and loans. I paid off a lot of his debt, and when I found out he was cheating on me, I was so ashamed and embarrassed when I realized how much he took advantage of me, that I barely told anyone he cheated on me, I just said we were growing apart.

After that, a deal breaker for me being in a relationship was if he couldn’t financially support himself or had a lot debt, and he didn’t clean or cook. And almost 20 years later, I’m in my late 30’s and I have met a lot of women who have been in the same situation as my best friend and I. It’s usually the same story, he’s unemployed, doesn’t clean and cook, and plays video games most of the time.

During all of that time, I’ve known one gold digger, and the only reason she was one was because men begged her to. In her teens and early 20’s my cousin was very beautiful, if you saw her she was probably the most beautiful person you’ll see in a while. Men begged her to be with them even if it wasn’t in terms of intimacy. They threw a lot money at her. When we were 16 a man in his 20’s dropped us off at the mall with $1,000 dollars and all she did was go out with him a few times. I can give you many more stories. What young person would resist money like that and all you have to do is give someone attention for a little bit? That’s why she was a gold digger, she took advantage of the lengths men would go to be with her just because she was beautiful.

Women are considered gold diggers because some of them want a guy to pay for a few dinners, or they’re called gold diggers because a man will happily spoil her to have a beautiful woman on his arms. But women who are with gold diggers they don’t get a hot man on their arms. Instead they get a lazy slob on their couch while she works and is his maid. They get ignored for video games, and they go in debt, not because they want to spoil their man, but because she has to pay the bills and keep her house and other possessions.

Women aren’t the gold diggers, the patriarch and society makes us out to be ones, so some men can continue to pay young women to be their arm candy or some can use us to be lazy slobs. If men don’t want to take responsibility for their part in being gold diggers then that word needs to be eliminated, it’s a double standard.

This current department I’m attached to OT almost every day, like work starts at 9am ends at 6:30pm but they do not go back before 8pm like even when i leave at 8:30 I’m like the first to leave.

They’ll stay till like 9 or 10 and next morning 8am already in office.

Most of them are middle aged like 40-50s maybe they don’t have much commitments so they don’t mind staying but i do like i wanna go out have dinner with friends or workout.

Is it a bad work life culture or just me having a bad mindset?

Netizens’ comments

• you are definitely not having a ‘bad mindset’

nothing wrong with wanting to leave at 6.30.
you literally already spend majority of your life working in office

no need to push it to the point that you work, go home eat sleep, wake up and continue

• Have you tried asking anyone at the office why they are working OT?

Is it because there is work to clear which has hard deadlines? (eg. regulatory reporting, client deliverables) is it because there is too much work and too few people to spread the work around to? Is it because taking work hone is not technically feasible? Is it because the boss hasn’t gone home, so everyone feels paiseh to go bine before he/she dies?

Whethwr the work culture is toxic or not will depend on what the real reason for everyone working OT is.

A girl shared how she thinks that she is scaring guys away because she is too straightforward and has a “masculine” personality.

Here is the story

I am a straightforward woman. Having trouble finding a relationship.

Female here. I’m here to get advice on how to find a proper guy? I seem to scare guys off because I’m either too straightforward or too masculine in personality.

When attached, I do talk things out with my exes when things go wrong but turns out, most of them didn’t care about listening to me.

Maybe I shouldn’t point out things anymore when I’m so upset about it?

So is my masculinity a problem? I know I have my flaws. I guess I can be clingy. I can learn to be less clingy but I think I’m just attracting or meeting the wrong men.

Dating sites makes everyone so dishonest, btw. I stopped relying on dating apps. I’ve gotten cat fished every time.

Netizens’ comments

• There is no such thing as your appearance is unacceptable. You have not met the right person yet. A right person will accept your whole you, include whether are you fat, ugly, or flaws.
  Just be patient awhile and you meet your Mr right soon.
• There is no proper guy, you are who you are. If they can accept you, it’s your luck.
  If they can’t, you are still perfect as how you accepted yourself. Don’t need to put down yourself for others

My wedding is not for a few more months and I already hate it. From the expense, to the countless hours of planning, coordinating, deciding useless garbage like centerpieces and the other trivial nonsense, it’s so pointless. And for what? One enjoyable day with friends and family and for a big show that no one but the bride and her mom will care about a week later.

I love my fiance and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I even proposed that instead of a wedding we get legally married, have a celebratory dinner with friends and family before going on an epic honeymoon with the money we would have spent on a wedding. But then I got the “don’t you think I deserve a wedding?” I dunno, I wouldn’t wish this on someone I disliked – but of course I can’t say that.

Oh and what a honeymoon it would have been! Why? Because if you add “wedding” in front of anything it automatically becomes 10 times more expensive.

You get the point. I wish I could add the word “wedding” in front of my stock portfolio and watch it multiply tenfold.

I’ve started to resent her, her mom and my mom for being so gaga over this process. It’s driving me crazy. I hate being repeatedly asked my opinion on some detail like flower arrangements, only for them to say “no I like this other one better”. Ok then stop asking me and just pick whatever. I wish I could just tell them to leave me out of the planning phase. I get zero enjoyment out of this endless time-suck. But everything has to be done together because it’s romantic. Puke.

Many of my friends have told me they hated planning their weddings so it seems like I’m not alone. Apparently my dad hated it too according to my mom. I even had a dream of meeting a girl who didn’t want to have a wedding and we just traveled all the time together.

I just want it to end. To be married and be done with it. Thank you for listening. It felt so good to vent.

Netizens’ comments

I’m getting married soonish, and I feel this. My fiancé is wonderful, and does do a lot of the planning, but a 45 minute conversation about the shape of the cups is insane

A netizen shared how sometimes guys are intimidated by girls who are great and don’t dare to pursue them.

Here is the story

Sometimes guys are intimated by great girls. I am one of them.

I know a girl who is really great. She is smart. She is funny. She is kind. She is adventurous. She is a dream girl. I had a crush on her for a while but I never pursued her because I was afraid she would reject me. I find her both loving and intimidating. So I stayed friends with her and married another woman.

There is another wonderful girl but I didn’t pursue her either. Mostly because she is disabled. If she wasn’t disabled I would have chosen her. Many of you might say I’m a jerk but I guarantee you most guys have no balls to bring a disabled girl home.

Many guys might say I’m a coward but I know more guys are like me than we guys like to admit. Guys talk about the dream girls they want but when one such girl actually appear… Hahahahaha we are intimidated by them. We would often go after the less great ones.

To all the wonderful women who want love out there. The truth is guys are intimidated by you

Netizen’s comments

• No idea why you would mention the girl with disability. Don’t say until like she confirm want you, with or without disability leh. Maybe you no disability, she also doesn’t want you leh.

• Great girls not good meh? Why say until like they very scary? They also human leh… Eat, shit, sleep also part of their life, very intimidating meh? Or u shit more than them?

So, a little bit of back story. I was raised solely by my dad, he’s a good man, a lot older than most other dads growing up, but always has been my best friend. I don’t think we’ve ever even gotten into one fight. It was all well and fine, until I was 15 when he was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease (AD).

It wasn’t as bad as it sounds at first, sure, my dad would forget things every now and then, but slowly, it crept up, to the point where he struggled to remember my name. He has always remembered I’m his son; but things like my interests, name, birthday, times, etc, were a struggle for him.

I was depending on my father’s money as well as some of my own savings to pay his bills.

Well, the money inevitably dried up. I was working a crappy part-time job, barely eating healthy myself, doing my undergrad (more fees), and going broke…fast.

Then, out of the blue, a guy on Grindr (men hook up/dating app) messaged me and offered me $100 to get intimate. He was in the mid-40s, overweight, and ugly..but I was desperate for some quick cash, and that’s when it all started.

So, from age 22, I’ve been working as a prostitute to pay for my dad’s nurses, specialist appointments, medication, rent, and food. As well as my own living expenses. I’m now 26, – at first, I worked just through Grindr, I used my boyish appearance to my advantage and would message older men, asking for help.

It was surprisingly easy, I would hook up with older men, ranging from $100 to 250, a few times a week just to stay afloat. After a while, I started taking male and female clients out for dinners, shows, events, etc, making A LOT more money.

I found this easy, I basically grew up at 15, by 18 I had more life experience than most 25-year-olds. The conversations came naturally, and not to boast but being charming has always been my most sincere attribute.

I then made my own escort profile on a website, making $1500-2500 for overnight calls…Before COVID I was high rolling with lots of rich men. Those weekends were bizarre. I don’t think I could ever get used to that. But it certainly helped my bank account.

In terms of income, I have bad months, good months, and GREAT months. Ever since I’ve done overnight calls, I’ve always been ahead on payments. I average around $7500 a month.

It also helps pay for my schooling, food, expenses, etc. I even have savings now. It’s a struggle, and it’s tiresome and hard, but the cards were stacked against me and I did what I had to. I suppose I could have made smarter and safer decisions, but I don’t regret it. I don’t hate it, but I don’t particularly enjoy it either.

I think a lot of people think my work is just showing up and sleeping with people when it’s indeed business calls, management, independent work. Not to mention, especially being a guy, having to work out, maintaining my body to meet the perfect male gaze.

It’s gotten in the way with a lot of things. For the past 10 years, I feel like I haven’t really “lived”. Everything I do is for my dad, I barely have any friends, I drank far too much alcohol to mask my pain – I took a month off and detoxed, I was well due for a break, and the one boyfriend I’ve had dumped me once I told him the truth. But except for him, my psychologist, and now you reading this, no one else knows.

Netizens’ comment

• “ For my dad to remember my name 7/10 times, it’s worth it.” ❤️

• I’m really proud of you; for stepping up to care for your dad and making it happen

I can’t imagine it’s been an easy slog for you, but to do what you have to do is admirable

I hope things get easier for you both and you won’t have to do this forever

• Dude, hands down you win the son of the year award. Any man would be lucky to call you husband with character like that. You’re truly amazing dude, nothing but the best to you!

A guy shared how he has been on dating apps and going out with girls but they always give him false hope and stop replying him after the date.

Here is the story

Just a bit of a rant, but I would also like to hear your thoughts on this. I’ve been on dating apps and met some girls for dates.

The thing which I’ve noticed happen is that some girls would agree for a subsequent date (after one or few dates), only to not get back to me (when they said they’ll check which days they’re free and get back to me etc.) when they said they would.

Wouldn’t it make more sense for the girl to just say that they don’t see it going further, and let the guy know that they would not want to meet again?

It is quite disrespectful, and gives false hopes (especially when they reply with much positive energy when agreeing to meet again).

I see them not getting back to me as a sign that they’re clearly not interested so I wouldn’t want to send follow-up messages asking if they know when they’re free already etc.

But I would had much rather they be more respectful and not do things like this.

Not all girls are like that of course. I’ve had some girls who let me know when they didn’t want to meet again, and I really appreciate that.

First of all, I’m in shambles and this took a lot to write in first place because I literally still can’t put my thoughts together even after over a week after finding out about this.

I (18M) have ‘dated’ my now ex-boyfriend (19M), let’s call him James, since primary school—We confessed to each other when we were 8/9 and pretty much stayed together since then, but only moved onto more serious things such as kissing and dates when we were in secondary school.

We’ve actually known each other for longer than that: we met in kindergarten so it’s safe to say we’ve known each other for 15 years+ and been together for 10 years+. We never broke up and never took ‘a break’ of some sort, either.

Both of our families have always been very supportive of our relationship, so nothing ever went in the wrong direction until 5 months ago.

My twin sister (18F), let’s call her Emily, has known James since we were all little, but never got along too well with her, since she’s always been pretty upset about me spending more time with him, than her, me getting a boyfriend before her, etc.

It was rare to see Emily warm up to James and vice-versa and although we were all classmates and James saw Emily every time he came to my place, they never really bonded properly. They were simple acquaintances and that never really bugged me: Emily has never been hostile or judgmental of James, and James never said anything particularly mean about my sister.

On February 26th, I noticed that James was receiving plenty of messages while he was at my place and that rarely happened, since I knew that his friend group communicated solely on Instagram, and I asked him what that was all about.

He shrugged it off and said that it was his driving teacher trying to get him to schedule their next lesson and I believed him until I involuntarily noticed a ‘<3’ pop up in one of the display texts.

I confronted him about it and asked why his driving teacher would be sending him a heart at 9PM on a Saturday night and he said that I’m making a big deal out of nothing and I should just watch the movie in silence and stop bugging him with questions, but I was too irritated to let him go off the hook so easily and made him unlock his phone and read the messages out loud to me.

He was tearing up and holding cries back when he began reading them in front of me. They were stuff like ‘We’ll manage, I know we will.’ or ‘Don’t worry about being too young to be a dad.’ and I went livid.

The contact name was a ‘:>’ so I couldn’t tell who it was, but I kept pushing him for more details and once he began scrolling upwards to reveal the old text exchanges, it became clear that it was my sister he was talking to. If I had her number memorized I could have figured it out even easier.

She wasn’t home at that moment, so I called her and demanded that she came home that instant because I had found out what was going on between her and James, and she refused and said I was delusional.

James admitted to having an affair with my sister instantly, and began apologizing and begging for me to forgive him.

I found out they slept at least a dozen times behind my back, including in MY BED. My sister and boyfriend doing it in my bed and my boyfriend getting her pregnant in my room, while playing music from my laptop. What a view. James told me most details thinking it would make the situation better but I was and still am absolutely destroyed by this.

I cant begin to fathom what kind of indulgence and forgiveness he thought I would give him after he confessed to sleeping with my twin sister without wearing a condom. He banged my sister behind my back, cheating on me for MONTHS, then looked me in the eye and expected forgiveness.

It was so pathetic that the sobs and apologies made me nauseous and I could feel my head tearing in half. It was the worst thing to hear my sister denying it first hand, followed by James’s lame attempt at winning me back.

I kicked him out of my house and my sister still hasn’t come home yet, even though she was supposed to be back from her trip four days ago. She isn’t answering her phone, isn’t replying to me or my father, and the only texts we managed to get out of her were daily ‘I’m okay’s’ to my mother.

James blocked me on Instagram, iMessage and Messenger and cancelled out our shared Spotify Premium duo and our mutual Netflix and HBO subscriptions, the same day. I didn’t see him much in school either, since we shared just a few classes anyways, but I didn’t utter a single word to him.

The two people I trusted the most betrayed me and and lied to me. I cant believe this is happening to me and I’m trying my best to not spiral out of control. I have no idea what my sister will do with the baby since I didn’t get to read all of the recent messages, and if her and James will get together for the sake of the child, but I’m shattered.

This is the worst thing that’s happened to me and I’m sick.