28F and my fiance is 29M. He has full custody of his 2 daughters and 1 son from his previous relationship. I have been with him for 5 years. His oldest is 10.

When the world crashed and burned, the kids were put into remote learning. Because I was the one with a smaller income, I ended up having to stay home with the kids while he continued working. This year the school decided to stay remote, so I am still home. I worked remotely for a little while but soon was terminated due to the noise the kids made and not having a space away from the chaos. We have not had a break in over 2 years. No one offers to help with the kids. We never have date nights. Nothing. The kids are always here. Their mother is a deadbeat.

She took them for 4 hours the other day, despite having agreed to have them for 3 nights. The kids now hate her. We do too.

Anyways, we got invited out tonight and I’m itching to get out of this house. Our buddy is having a small get-together at his place (5 people, including us). We found out a week ago. Since this point, I have asked my fiance to find a sitter multiple times. I have searched as well. I’ve asked my mom and my gram- both of which cannot. So I told him to ask his mother. He has given every single excuse not to. I need to get out of this house.

After all, I’m the one who is constantly home with the kids and I need a break. I need adult time. Period. So I told him either he finds a sitter or he can stay home with the kids while I go out. In which case he says that I am taking things too far and that im acting like it’s the end of the world.

What are some stories of some of the best bosses you’ve worked under, and what did they do?

We frequently hear stories of bosses from hell. I thought it would be nice to hear the opposite for a change. And also to have examples to emulate when interacting with the workplace juniors.

Netizens’ comments

1. My first boss, a hokkien-speaking vulgarity-spewing guy who killed his own career by making it his mission to be as offensive to as many people as possible. (During a department meeting, he nitpick a presenter slides just because he was bored. The HOD got to step in to ask him to shut up.)
   He saw my potential very early on, took me under his wing and gave me projects to showcase myself. It was saikang but to be fair, he blew my trumpet during ranking. That resulted in my CEP getting improved right from my first year.
   He was also super protective of his team. Being an Ah Beng, it helps when people come complaining to him. He brushes them off but will tell us off behind closed doors. I think this is very important, being sensitive and showing unity.
   Alas, he blew my trumpet too loud. Other HOD took his word and there was a political tussling to get me transferred, I was out of his team after my first year. But he was pivotal in me getting the kind of street cred that I’m enjoyed in that org.
2. Something I can share about! My line manager is a great guy, before he was my superior he was one of the only people I could have a proper conversation with at work and it was not necessarily about the work scope. He seemed to be one of the only people who cared about my wellbeing and me being a naive youngster at my first job, I treated him like a line manager more than my actual line manager at the time who just did not care about me or the things I worked on.
   He’s also very relatable and tells me about things he’s stuck on or things that have stressed him out in the past. I didn’t realise it was so easy to bond over something like that with a colleague because people don’t normally share this kind of thing at work.
   He has never micro managed and respects work life balance. I don’t have to work 9-5 if I can finish my work on time. I obviously will do whatever I can during project time including extra hours if I have to but he has never enforced it.
   During covid I was assigned to help another team by another higher up. This extra team was a nightmare and I was forced into spoon feeding them because they were stressed and needed help and I did not know how to set boundaries.
   After much distress over a 6-9 month period I called my line manager to tell him how much stress I was under and he immediately pulled me off the project.
   He has also defended me when business asked why a piece of work still wasn’t completed but tbf that work was way too big for a single person to work on.
   He has a lot of belief in me and the work I deliver, although I don’t see what he sees in me. Perhaps it is imposter syndrome or maybe he has a clearer idea of what a good employee looks like.
   He wants to assign me to a new big project that is coming up soon, I am very worried about not being able to handle it, but it sure feels good inside knowing that he thinks I’m worthy of working on it and that he respects my opinion.
   One time I overslept and did not login to Teams all morning. I woke up at 11.15am panicking since it was my first time oversleeping.
   He sent me a text message asking if I was OK or if I was on leave because I didn’t inform him that I would be away. Then he reassured me saying it was OK and that everyone has those days.
   There was a rare ocassion where I sneaked out of work during working hours to pick up my friend who came to visit from another country.
   It was a Friday afternoon and I didn’t think anyone would look for me but lo and behold, he came looking for me lol.
   So I was honest and told him I wasn’t at my computer and that I was heading towards the airport to pick someone up and he was super chill about it.
   He called because the company was undergoing a change and because both me and him were going on leave, we needed to wrap something up before a certain date.
   So he gave me a summary of the things I needed to do, then wished me a happy birthday in advance and told me to enjoy myself on my holiday! Felt very guilty that I got caught but I don’t normally slack so I think he trusted that I wasn’t going to take the piss.
   He always provides assistance when I get stuck on work. He is a busy guy but always helps out within an hour or two.
   I asked how to get promoted and he told me what the process involved then wrote up a huge 3-4 page essay of everything I had worked on since going under his wing.
   When I think about it now, I’m surprised he remembers everything I’ve done to this point or maybe it’s because he had a plan laid out for me to work on x y z lol.
   Unfortunately I didn’t get the promotion but I do trust him when he says that he fought for me to get promoted and that he will try and get me a bigger bonus this year.
   I’m really glad I got this chance to write about him. Honestly I’m grateful I got to work with him after some not so great managers.
   He is amazing and I don’t think I will chance upon anyone else that is so good at what they do and also at managing!
   If I ever become a manager, I would like to be like him but unfortunately my personality is not so chill lol. I have plans to leave the company within a few months and I feel so much guilt. He has been telling me about long term plans for our team and the project coming up and all I can do is nod and try to wrap things up nicely before I go so that he doesn’t have a hard time.
   I never thought I would ever say this but I really wanted to be a good underling for him because he was so nice. I thought that nice people would get taken advantage of but I’m here trying to return the favour so 🤷🏻
3. My ex-manager of 5 years made all the difference in my career. She believed in me when i didnt. Gave me many many opportunities beyond my scope so that, as she says – i get to shine.
   She gave me all the autonomy at work and yet was extremely patient when i needed help. Every appraisal she would fight for a promotion or as high a pay raise as she could. On my last day, we both cried like we’re at a funeral.
   She is the best boss i ever had and i hope to be someone like that someday
4. When I was younger I worked F&B. It was a small, family owned restaurant. Got the job through one of my mother’s friends and was working while waiting for school.
   At the time, my grandmother was rather sick and had been in hospital for a while already. She was the one who brought me up (parents both worked) so it affected me quite badly.
   One day I got a message from my mum during a shift saying that my grandma’s condition was worsening. She told me to go to the hosp. straight after work, which I agreed.
   Obviously I was quite affected and was showing it. The boss saw me and asked what had happened. I told her and she immediately told me to go down to the hospital ASAP. I honestly didn’t want to (this was during the lunch time so the restaurant was quite busy) but she insisted.
   Because of her, I got to spend those last few hours with my grandma. Meant a lot to me.

My parents, my friends and my other relatives have always been asking me why I do not have a girlfriend.

The answer is short and also simple. I have not met the right one and I have been single for over 3 years.

I rather go to KTV and play different kinds of part-time girlfriends to satisfy my desire rather than to find a permanent girlfriend.

If I so desperately try to find one and don’t fit it will end up in sadness. I rather every day find different girls trying different delicacies no need to eat the same flavour every day.

Having a permanent girlfriend is not only a commitment of just time it is also a money and emotional investment.

I do not have to deal with mood swings and money issues. The KTV girl got mood swings? I changed to another girl. I don’t have money? I stay at home.

No need to worry if the girl suddenly needs me or what. It’s not commitment issues, I am in mid-20s, and the female friends around me are of the same age.

I can say I matured faster than them, as girls around my age are more bothered about superficial stuff like buying branded or being an Insta-Ho.

Although friends have been scolding me saying it’s unhealthy, seeing my friends always coming to me to drink beer after quarrel with their girlfriend. That is definitely more unhealthy.

I see a lot of guys desperate to get a girlfriend out there, but those who eventually get one are always not truly happy.

Most of them have two kinds of problems:

They find a foreign girlfriend then next comes the money issue

They find a local girlfriend than in later stages of the relationship they go find “lup sup” services. (This is true, I have a friend who is known as “Holy man” in his 30s and later on discovered the “fun” at a later age who eventually divorced.)

Not only am I playing the KTV life early I am also waiting for a more mature person.

Am I wrong to say this?

I’ve been in a relationship with my gf for over three years now. Ngl after we got together, she stopped bothering about her image and appearance and look nothing like how she was in the past (gained weight, don’t make makeup).

My gf also pays me very little attention these days and our lives are becoming more monotonous and routine.

I wanted to feel validated by the opposite gender so I started using dating apps. I have no intentions to cheat, I just wanna know my market value as a dude and whether I’m still in demand.

I wasn’t the most popular dude on dating apps but not too shabby either (few matches per day).

But lo and behold! The girls I get suggested on the dating apps are all dino bus. Either they are old, fat and ugly or young, ugly and dumb.

There’s the occasional chio one but as expected I don’t get a reply. The number of likes I get are crazy low compared to years ago when I was active on the app. This hugely damaged my confidence as a hot young male.

In a desperate attempt, I changed my gender preferences in the app to be male and started seeing male suggestions. Holy cow, I was getting over 10 likes a day from the dudes.

It felt good. I liked a few of them back and started chatting. Some of them are super funny and flirty. I really enjoyed chatting with them. They made me feel super wanted and validated. This is the validation I have been craving for, though I didn’t expect it to be coming from males.

Now I’m super confused. Am I bi because I’m enjoying attention from guys? Should I turn gay and break up with my gf so that I can be with these guys who want me so badly?

Here are what netizens think:

1. Clearly you’re gay, since you hate women so much and you enjoy the attention from men and talking to men.
2. You’re not special bro.I left my preferences on male to female by accident on tinder last time, went to take a shower, and came back with 100 new likes, all from guys.
3. Only 10 likes a day? I get like 100 likes and I’m a fat, hairy man.

I know this guy for 6 years dated and all, planning to get married. Hais just recently, while we were in heated argument, he accidentally said “I will never forget my ex even after we married” and “My ex is better than u in 2 years of knowing her than u can ever do in 6 years” “She knows how to take care of her man, sweet, caring unlike you”. It hurts me so much and even while I was crying he never stopped saying all these hurtful things.

Alreadyin rs for 6 years, still haven’t moved on from his ex of only 2 years they dated. From then on, I already felt like want to just end it all but hais 6 years wasted gone to waste just like that… tbh, he’s not even my type but yeah there must be love to last till 6 years right? The most painful part is that he’s My first love… yes his ex is prettier than me and she is his type.

I know should just let go after being compared with ex all. Haisss… actually felt like we both dragged this rs way longer than it should be… hais cuz First love I guess. Hard to let go… but I know deep in my heart, if I were to end up married with this guy, it will be a loveless marriage just cuz first love. Hard to let go n forget… hais

Here are what netizens think:

• You both just having each other to pass time and not being alone. If a guy can say such things to you, no point staying anymore. It’s only pathetic, and more hurt will come your way.Is it only me who gets irritated at “hais” instead of “sigh”? 
• Hmmm….Sorry to burst your bubble but this r/s isn’t build on love. It’s build on “put up with”.
  I don’t think guys would ‘accidentially’ says things like “I will never forget my ex”, “My ex is better than u” during an argument. Deep down he still miss his ex and compare her with you.
  He is only with you because he has reached a point where he just want to accept someone who is willing to stick with him.
  Same for you….You mentioned he is not your type. But you “put up with” him for 6 yrs because he is the one willing to stick with you.
  Having said all that, my advice is to have a real heart to heart talk with him. Find out what he wants in a wife and you tell him what you want in a husband and work your issues out from there.
  Like you said, 6 years is long time to just quit. At least try to salvage and hopefully start building the r/s based on love.

• 6 yrs is a fraction of a lifetime. Don’t see it as time wasted, see it as time spent learning. Move on and find someone who can love u as u are with his whole heart. It’s just silly to stay with someone u don’t love.

The guy i’ve mentioned i’ve knows for a few years. we both met through temporary work and exchanged contact info since we had similar hobbies snd interests.

i had a feeling this guy liked me. he was very flirty from the get-go.he’s an alright guy; funny, nice, but i just felt no connection or attraction that i’ve felt in past relationships.

when we first starting talking, i didn’t know how to turn him down. i was 19, had only had a few short relationships, and was stuck in the mentality of agreeing or going along with things to avoid confrontation. i would hang out with him once in a while and then go my separate way.

we recently planned to hang out, and he asked if it was a date. i was straight up and told him no. he asked if he had a chance in the future and i also said no. he was disappointed but said he respected my choice.

i’m proud that i’ve gotten to the place where i feel like i can firmly say no to things i don’t want. i just thought i would share this small victory.

I am a limited edition goods, I won’t accept any dogs and cats and other strays that come to me. I expect a man who is good looking and has a fancy looking car to fit my status.

Here are what netizens think:

The best part is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Be EXTREMELY proud of yourself. There are people, women and men, who never get to that point in life.

That’s got to feel so good! And honestly good for him for taking it like an adult. Hopefully he meant it when he said he would respect it.

Yeah you’re about to go from limited edition to antique in a few years.

Before u guys judge me, please hear me out. I often frequent Thai disco / Siam Diu as a means to de-stress. I find that the loud music and spinning lights help take the stress away from my work.

Like any other visit, I sat at my usual spot when a petite silhouette from afar caught my attention. Her round eyes, sharp nose, and elongated legs is what many would consider “attractive”. Not to mention that her long and silky hair that is constantly brushing against her shoulder line; any man would subconsciously gravitate toward her and I was no exception.

I could not help but to glance in her direction without making it too obvious. I got caught eventually and we exchanged eye contact for a good 10 seconds. She understood the assignment and came over for a chat. As we began sharing more about each other, I realized that we have many things in common. We immediately clicked as though we had known each other right from the beginning. She introduced herself as “Moon.”

At that moment, I felt as though I had found my soulmate. Talking to Moon made me forget about my fatigue from work. It was as though time had stopped. Deep down, I was sincerely hoping that the conversation could last forever. Time flew quickly, and before I knew it, the place was closing for the night. We exchanged contact and parted ways.

The next day, my phone rang. On answering, I was greeted by a familiar voice. It was Moon. My face lit up knowing that I could connect with her again. We agreed to meet up at a Thai restaurant called NaNa at Golden mille.

NaNa restaurant is a famous Thai restaurant in SG. Moon claimed to be a frequent patron of the place as their food tasted close to home. She even use the opportunity to teach me the name of the dishes in Thai. Halfway through our meal, she was rudely interrupted by a phone call which led her to leaving the restaurant. She claimed that she had something urgent to attend to, and needed to excuse herself. She sounded anxious.

Feeling concerned, I quickly paid the tab and followed her. I was soon led to one of the floor exits where I found her seated on the stairs and sobbing uncontrollably. I approached her to check on her. My presence caught her off guard and, almost immediately, she apologized for leaving me alone in the restaurant. She then went on to explain what happened. Turns out, her mom was terminally ill, and needed money for her operation. Sympathizing with her plight, I agreed to help her out without much hesitation.

As I was about to get up and make the withdrawal. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her. She gave me a peck on my cheek to express her gratitude. Things got heated up and we made love in a public space. Despite the shabby location, the S was good and memorable. The day ended on a good note with her settling her family matters with my financial support.

That incident pulled us closer as we started hanging out more. Despite numerous warnings from my friends and family about her intention, I chose to believe her as I felt that the society perception towards hostress is based on stereotypes.

Bf wants to sleep with multiple people

I came into a relationship, it’s been almost 10 months now. We are pretty serious and planned a pretty detailed future together, but a new information came to light.

He had mentioned earlier that he wants to sleep with various people with different features and personality, to which I responded with okay but I will do the same and after which he backed out. I thought he wasn’t that serious.

I am not an attractive woman, I think that he might be feeling like he is missing out by being with me. I am not his dream girl but I do know he loves me so he won’t be able leave me. I have been getting this feeling that one day someone better will come along and he will regret choosing me, he won’t leave me even then.

I have been very loving, patient and giving in this relationship. I thought before all this that we are the only ones for each other, because he kept reassuring me that I am his “everything”.

We were having a very loving conversation and our conversation led to this topic, while we were discussing about our future and talking about building a family, somehow the conversation got to him wanting to sleep with other people. I said that he cannot, he argued is it wrong that he wants to experience. I said is it okay if I go and fulfill my fantasies as well then, to which he opposed very firmly.

At this point the fact that I was thinking about our future a minute ago to this, I was on my verge because times are hard right now, we are in a long distance relationship and we are not able to communicate properly mostly from his side for days and we have been fighting a lot so safe to say I have been really patient.

I feel that his treatment, his whole attitude would have been different if I was his dream girl and if I was pretty.

I cried the whole night, while he went to sleep. I wrote in my diary, bawled my eyes out and decided to be by his side till he pulls himself out of a difficult situation in which he is in rn, it might take him about 2-3 years. He is in a very dire situation, suicidal you can say.

And when he gets to where he desires I am going to leave him to live his best live, so that he can explore. Because I cannot be loved in fractions, it hurts. Also I don’t want any of us to miss out on anything.

I want to be loved fully, whole and just feel that. Also I want him to experience whatever he wants in life. Both of these things cannot coexist and I don’t want either to miss out on one.

How do I tell my boyfriend I just want to be f-ed??

Please advice, my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years! We have a child together and for some reason our bedroom activities is suddenly so DRY.

Before we had our child we would f almost everyday and now I’m lucky if we have a quickie once a month!!!!! I’m so confused but he’s such a family man so I don’t think he’s cheating but WTF is happening.

He doesn’t like doing doggy or wild positions with me as he says it’s degrading for me… ummm I do not give a f, that is what I WANT.

It’s all strange and I can’t make sense of it. We get intimate, missionary.. it lasts no more than 10 minutes, I am so bored of it, sick of it. To the point.. I’m like am I really going to break my family up because I’m FRUSTRATED.

I feel awkward to tell him I just want to literally f him like I used to, he wants me to be such a lady and makes me feel awkward when I try to spice things up. Any advice, pleaaase???

Netizens’ comments

1. The way you describe wanting to be f-ed, is that something he used to do and no longer does or he never did it at all?
2. You’ll have to sit down and talk with him. Schedule a date night, kiddo spends the night with a sitter or family out of the house or y’all go to a hotel. Go out for a movie or dinner and then on the way home have an awkward car talk about how you miss being pushed down and ravished like he can’t get enough of you. Let him know that your needs are not being met
3. I found it hard to not put my wife on a pedestal after she had our kids. I looked at her more like something amazing and sacred instead of just wanting to pull her hair and smack her @ss. I got over it, took awhile and a serious conversation, but I did. Still think she’s amazing and something to cover, but now it’s back to just wanting to get nasty with her. Just talk to him. If it’s him putting you on a pedestal, he’ll want to make you happy.