A netizen working in the sales industry asked is it common for other workers to talk behind your back and try to sabotage you.
Here is the story:
“I’m in sales line and it’s majority-female colleagues.
Is it common to have colleagues being so b—-y???
My previous line of work also falls under sales but I’ve never seen this kind of toxic work culture before. They are always thinking of ways to sabotage you, always talking behind your back and doing funny things. I just don’t get it?
I’ve been here for half a year and this situation at work isn’t getting better. Before I joined, I heard that they’ve been ganging up on a girl for at least 3 months.
Just because they’re senior positions doesn’t mean they’ve above anyone else.”
A netizen shared how he has a crush on his male best-friend but doesn’t know what to do and asks if he should end the friendship or confess.
Here is the story:
“Hello. Seeking some genuine advice and guidance, please don’t be mean.
I’m gay. I came out to friends and family after secondary school because I didn’t feel like I wanted to hide it anymore. I’m not one to raise a rainbow flag everywhere I go (as much as I’m proud to be a gay man in Singapore, I don’t like rubbing my preferences in others’ faces.
Recently, I reconnected with my secondary school friends because I drove by them and saw that they were hanging out. They were pretty chill and just came over to say hi (idk if this is a red flag but this group used to be quite mean to me, wouldn’t go to the extent of calling it bullying). I’ve never come out to them though.
I said hi and noticed that ‘L’ was with them in the crowd. L also used to be mean to me back in secondary school. I’ve had a crush on him back then though. After we graduated we went our separate ways (he went to a international school).
So he was shy and all and I didn’t get to talk much to him. One of the guys in the group suggested dinner one day, inviting me as well since I can drive. I lowkey agreed just to understand where they were in life (typical kpo session).
Fast forward a little, L soon caught my eye after a couple of dinners and suppers with the boys. I begin to feel something and would always look out for him (making sure I switch places with him if he finds the restaurant cold, making sure he doesn’t drink ice drinks when it’s late as it would make him sick etc.). I even went to pick him up from a party when he found it too awkward and drove him home even though the distance was short and he could obviously have taken the train/bus back. I bought water for him as well and would drop him off right at this doorstep.
However, L is straight. He’s had a girlfriend once, broke up because of differing values. He’s a nice guy. I love it when he smiles and his laughter is just so damn contagious. I prioritized his needs before mine and would check up on him often to see if he’s sick. He doesn’t have much friends because of his education path and NS, so he talks to older friends (like from sec school) more. So everytime he says he’s bored or is hungry, I’ll be more than happy to meet him (which writing this now sounds a lil pathetic) but yeah you get what I mean.
Spending time with him, driving him back, gives me small butterflies in my stomach and it’s beginning to feel more and more like I can’t control these feelings slowly building up inside me. I would send him home and after, I would feel this amazing feeling and wish that he had stayed longer, so that I could spend more time with him.
The other day while we were standing around talking, he got really close to me to the point where I could feel his stomach on my elbow (which was q surprising because in the past, just a little bit of physical contact would be dealt with a response of “eh” and he would slowly move aside and say stuff like “don’t gay leh”.
On another day, we were talking about songs and music in my car. He spoke of how he has chest hair now and suddenly pulled up his shirt to show me his chest. Like woah. When he did this, I immediately looked at his fingernail because I felt it would be wrong for me to look at anywhere else since you know, I’m gay and it would be inappropriate to do so??
Since then, I’ve been thinking of telling him the truth, because it’s killing me like nvisjnekfk but at the same time, I understand how straight guys view gay guys too. I’m not sure if he would even be open to it?
He’s shown some form of acceptance towards gay people though. He once showed me male influencers on Instagram when discussing the kinds of tattoos he wants on himself, and he said stuff like: “eh but this guy gay sia, ya this one his boyfriend. But okay la gay gay lor cannot make fun of people.”
Let me know if I’m stupid lol. I’m one of his closest friends at this point (we talk almost everyday). If I’m to stay as his friend, I don’t know if I can keep my feelings to myself. It feels very torturous on my end to constantly have to remind myself not to stare at him but steal glances occasionally. If I slowly back off from the friendship, will that be okay for my well-being? But I don’t want to hurt him too.”
Editor’s note: I think just be honest and let him know; and whatever happens, happens.
A man, aged 40, was arrested on 28 June at the Woodlands Checkpoint on allegations of illegally importing and possessing various weapons, controlled items, and contraband items.
In a joint statement, the Singapore Police Force (SPF) and the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) confirmed that the arrest took place on June 28, 2023.
According to reports, an ICA officer stationed at the Woodlands Checkpoint profiled and flagged a Malaysia-registered vehicle for additional scrutiny at approximately 3:15 pm on that day.
The male passenger, upon inspection, was allegedly found to be carrying 10 batons, two stun devices, 10 e-cigarettes, five packs of contraband cigarettes, and three boxes of enhancement pills.
Additionally, another passenger, a 31-year-old woman, was arrested for allegedly associating with individuals carrying offensive weapons in public areas. The case has been handed over to the police for further investigation.
Ongoing investigations are currently underway regarding this incident.
It is important to note that the importation of any type of arms into Singapore is strictly prohibited by law. Offenders caught importing guns, arms, explosives, poisonous or noxious gas, or substances can face a maximum sentence of three years’ imprisonment and a fine of up to S$10,000.
Furthermore, carrying offensive weapons in public spaces or consorting with individuals carrying such weapons is also a serious offense. Convicted offenders can be subjected to a maximum imprisonment term of three years and may also be subject to caning as a punishment.
Other similar cases
20-year-old Tan Yan Rong was found guilty in July last year for offences under the Arms and Explosives Act.
He was found with 19 replica guns during a police investigation, as well as selling at least 16 other similar weapons.
Tan had gone on Taobao, an online shopping platform, to buy the replica guns for the purposes of keeping them for himself and reselling them online.
The ICA detected four sets of airsoft guns during an operation at Lam Soon Industrial Building in Hillview Avenue on 7 September 2020, and reported it to the police.
A consignment with Tan’s address was found by the police during their investigations, with a plastic toy revolver and three plastic toy rifles being found inside a container.
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Tan was arrested on suspicion of having committed offences under the Arms and Explosives Act on the same day that ICA made the report, and 19 replica guns were found at his home and seized at about 10pm that day.
ST Engineering Synthesis assessed the guns as being capable of shooting pellets and were thusly defined as “arms” under the Arms and Explosives Act, which Tan was not authorised to possess.
He bought the guns either to keep or resell to local buyers via Carousell, where he could deliver the items to the buyer in person and accept payment via PayNow or Cash on Delivery.
Tan admitted to buying the guns online from 2018/2019 to about a few weeks before his arrest, and investigators retrieved his WeChat and Taobao logs, showing that he had at least 5 customers from March to Sepmetb 2020 to whom he had sold at least 16 of the guns and accessories.
A 46-year-old man in Singapore was sentenced to 2 weeks imprisonment on Monday (3 July) after being convicted of taking an upskirt video of a female colleague at a food court, according to a report by The Straits Times.
During an incident in April 2021, a man who had been colleagues with a woman for a decade, violated her trust by secretly recording upskirt videos while they were having coffee at a food court.
The man cannot be named because of a court order protecting the identity of the victim.
According to Deputy Public Prosecutor Foo Shi Hao, the victim and the perpetrator had a longstanding friendship and had previously worked together. The victim considered him a friend and often sought his advice on work-related issues.
What happened?
On April 15, 2021, at approximately 1 pm, the man and the victim decided to have coffee at Food Republic, located in 313@somerset, following their lunch. While engaged in conversation at a table in the food court, the man felt compelled to look at the victim’s thighs and underwear.
Discreetly, he activated the video recording function on his mobile phone, placing it under the table with his arm resting on his lap, directing the camera towards the victim. Unbeknownst to her, he recorded at least two upskirt videos.
Alert to his actions, two customers nearby noticed and promptly informed an assistant branch manager at the food court. The manager documented evidence of the man’s actions through photographs and immediately notified the victim. Subsequently, she made a police report.
During the court proceedings, Deputy Public Prosecutor Foo sought a sentence of two to three weeks’ imprisonment for the man. He emphasized the significant breach of trust committed by the accused, considering the long-standing friendship between the victim and the perpetrator.
Voyeurism, the offense committed by the man, carries a maximum penalty of two years’ imprisonment, a fine, caning, or a combination thereof.
A netizen shared how she was approached by a few guys in school whom she rejected to focus on her studies, and she then lost some friends who cut contact with her after being rejected.
She then asked if her friends were getting married and didn’t invite her, does it mean that her existence doesn’t matter to them?
Here is the story:
“Like to hear some thoughts on my current situation. I am in my last semester and got a job offer which i will be putting my all into it!
During my time in school, I have been approached by a few guys with I have turned them down politely, reason is to focus on my studies, some are still friends, some lost contact on purpose but i do not blame them.
I too would cut contact if i confessed and got rejected!
The truth is that I did not have ample time nor do I know how to date. I just do not see the need to be with someone that doesn’t feel right, not in for the fling etc. I play basketball, so make-up ain’t my thing.
Recently, most of my peers are getting married. It is almost as though it is the wedding season. I am intending to slug it out at work until my Mr Right comes along – I am a tough nut to crack but we will see.
I have a question, do you girls, or guys still stay in contact after school?
I mean, if your peers are getting married but did not invite you, does that mean that your existence doesn’t matter to them?”
Editor’s note: You gotta figure out what your priorities are and move on from there.
A netizen shared how his mother decided to collect rent from him for staying with her, saying that its for food and utilities.
Here is the story:
“My mum decided to collect rent from me ($300/month because I share the room with her) saying it’s to cover food and utilities.
If you are me, would you move out? I have contemplated about it many times because of our poor relationship but I stayed because I really hoped to improve our relationship.
However, things don’t go my way and she always end up scolding me. Apart from feeling bad for moving out, I am afraid of struggling with finance because I don’t earn much..
Kindly share your advice please thank you!
Editor’s note: Take it that you’re giving your mother an allowance to help with the daily expenses.
A netizen shared how her boyfriend told her that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend and she feels like she is wasting her time with him.
Here is the story:
“Today my bf of 1 year just told me he’s still in love with his ex. They seemed to share beautiful memories together but had to break up because the girl had to move overseas with her fam.
He said he really likes me, but not in love with me (yet).
To me he’s a nice, caring and supportive man. We never have a fight in our relationship. After hearing all that I felt like a fool. I spent the whole year investing in this with a guy who’s still mourning over his ex?!
I wanna break up but he asked for more time and promised to work together to build our relationship. But I’m so sad.
What if he never move on from her and fall in love with me?”
Editor’s note: I would give him time though, the heart wants what the heart wants but it can change.
A woman shared how she feels alone despite being married for 6 years, because her husband is absorbed with his work.
Here is the story:
“When should I give up on my marriage?
I’ve been married for 6 years but I feel like I’m alone. We get along well, but my husband is absorbed by his work. It wasn’t like that before we got married, as he used to spend more time having fun.
In the past few years, all he cares about is work. Hanging out with me seems like a chore. It’s great to be serious about work, but it’s gotten to the point where he complained he used to be productive during mealtimes but now he is less productive because I keep talking to him during meals.
We are not doing anything interesting or fun together. All my favourite things, I’m left to do by myself because he has no interests outside of work. He even asked me to hang out with friends instead. I have to eat my favourite foods on my own because he doesn’t like them.
I tried to do something for him by cooking dishes that he likes. However, it’s never good enough for him and it’s very difficult to please him. He’d rather just eat out. I take care of all the household chores and also call when repairs are needed. I feel like I’m alone and I’m tired of always asking him to participate more. He never does anything for me or with me unless I ask.
Now it feels like if we have kids, it’s going to be a chore rather than a fun thing to do together. I have talked to him about it and he’s prepared to do it, but he openly said taking care of kids would be a chore to him, although he’s willing to. It seems like he’s being responsible but not enthusiastic. If so, what’s the point?
We get along well and agree on many issues, but I just feel like I’m all by myself. He feels more like a good friend and housemate than a life partner.
Should I move on?”
Editor’s note: I come from a generation where if things are broken, we fix them and not get new ones. You should try fixing it.
A girl shared how her boyfriend doesn’t respect that she wants to spend more time with her family on special occasions.
Here is the story:
“My boyfriend can’t seem to respect me wanting to spend time with my family on special occasions (e.g birthdays, Christmas, new year)
My family is very close and prior to even meeting my boyfriend, it has been a tradition for us to spend such days together as a family.
I am in my mid-20s and will probably move out of my home in a few years’ time. When I was in my late teens-20, I chose to sacrifice my family time on such days to go out with friends or my partner.
But as I grew older, I just hope to be able to cherish this time I have with my family.
However, my boyfriend would guilt trip me about not choosing to go out with him instead, and to be honest, it feels a little immature.
I would never make him choose between his family and myself.
To me, if my partner is the one, we will ultimately have our own family and be able to spend many of these special occasions together.
But I do not have the luxury of another 40-50 years with my family.”
Editor’s note: Well now that you put it this way, you have a very strong point there.
A woman shared how she married a man-child who doesn’t help with the housework and goes cycling instead, and he accused her of having OCD.
Here is the story:
“I married a man-child too. I just didn’t know it would be so bad after marriage and I resent him so much everyday. I cook, clean, mop, wash and all he does it go out for cycling in his free time instead of helping out with chores.
It’s worse with kids because I have caught him using my toddler’s bath towel to wipe her bum after a pee/poop and the towel will smell of pee and stained with poop and he’d use the same towel to wipe her body after a night shower.
I told him that it’s very disgusting and he said he will not use wipes as it’s not environmentally friendly. Can you imagine my anguish?
At times, I’d spot faeces on the toilet light switches because he would use so little toilet paper to wipe saying it’s not environmentally friendly etc.
He would just toss the soiled towels right into the washing machine without first washing away the poop and I’d be so tired washing up after him..
As you can tell, he is very stingy and isn’t willing to spend on a cleaner to clean up.
Similarly, he says I am suffering from OCD when in fact he is the dirty one.
When I get so pissed at him for being a useless bum and start scolding him in my exhaustion (I have a full-time job and am tired after having to clean up after him everyday), he will say I have a foul-mouth?
So am I supposed to keep encouraging him to help keep the house clean, take out thrash every night etc? We are almost reachingn 40 and I don’t understand why he’s such a spoilt brat.
When his unmarried siblings (mid 30s) and parents come to our place for Christmas or CNY, they’d just sit around, watch tv, use their phone and not help wash up, take out thrash or set the table. They don’t even help clean or play with my kids.
WTF? Don’t chat, don’t make conversations, don’t help, don’t wash..
My advise to you is to leave him cos there will be other guys who value hygiene and your sanity. Find one who shares the same hygiene and priorities as you.”
Editor’s note: What have you gotten yourself into…
