My husband had always been a bit of an outdoorsy type of guy. He enjoyed hunting, fishing, and camping, so when he announced he was going on a fishing trip, I was not surprised. He had been talking about it for weeks and had been planning it with a few of his buddies. I was supportive of his hobbies, and I knew a few days away would do him some good.

End up his fishing trip would turn out to be a trip to Batam.

It all started when I heard a loud commotion outside our house. I hurried to the window to find my husband loading a car with his friends. I was shocked to see that the car was filled with what looked like luggage and supplies. I recognized some of the faces, but I had never seen them before. I was most disturbed though, when I noticed that there were no fishing rods.

My stomach dropped when I realized what was happening. My husband was going to Batam with a bunch of other men, and I had a feeling that they weren’t just there to go fishing. I had heard of stories of men going to Batam in search of female companionship, and I was sure that’s what they were doing. I was devastated and angry.

I quickly called my husband and confronted him about the trip. He tried to lie his way out of it, but I could tell he was hiding something. I pressed him for answers and eventually he told me the truth. He had been planning a fishing trip to Batam with some of his buddies for weeks, but it was now turning into something else. He admitted that they were there to find girls.

I was furious. I couldn’t believe that this was how he was spending his free time. I was hurt and betrayed. I had trusted him and he had lied to me. I was so angry that I couldn’t speak. All I could do was hang up the phone.

After that day, my relationship with my husband changed drastically. I felt like he had broken my trust and I didn’t know if I could ever trust him again. I was hurt and disappointed. I had always supported his hobbies, but this was different. This was something that I couldn’t accept.

I’m not sure if my husband ever went on another trip like this, but I know for sure that I never gave him the opportunity. I made it clear that I was not OK with this type of behavior and that it wouldn’t be tolerated.

It’s been a few months since that day, and I’m still trying to come to terms with what happened. I’m still trying to figure out if I can ever trust him again.

I never thought that I would be faced with such a difficult decision. But when my wife gave me the ultimatum, I was left with no choice but to pick beer. I know it sounds ridiculous, but beer is something that has always been a part of my life. It is a part of my identity and I couldn’t imagine giving it up.

The first time I tried beer was when I was a teenager and it was love at first sip. I have been drinking beer ever since. It has been a way for me to relax and unwind after a long day. I never drank too much, but I did enjoy a few beers on the weekends.

My wife, however, had a different opinion. She was always concerned about my drinking and how it was affecting our marriage. She said it was getting in the way of us spending time together and that it was becoming a problem.

I tried to listen to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to give up beer. I was so attached to it that I couldn’t imagine life without it. It was my one indulgence and I didn’t want to let it go.

So when my wife gave me the ultimatum, I was left with no choice but to pick beer. I knew it was probably the wrong decision, but I couldn’t help it. I had to choose what was most important to me.

When I told my wife my decision, she was devastated. I could see the hurt in her eyes and it broke my heart. We had been married for ten years and this was the first time I had ever put something before her.

We talked for hours that night and I tried to explain why I had chosen beer over her. I told her that I still loved her just as much as I always had, but that beer was something that I couldn’t give up.

In the end, she said that if I chose beer, then it was divorce. I was crushed. I didn’t want to lose my wife, but I also couldn’t give up something that had been such a big part of my life for so long.

In the end, I chose beer. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make and it still haunts me. I know that it was probably the wrong decision, but I couldn’t bring myself to give up something that meant so much to me.

I still think about my wife every day. I sometimes wonder if things would have been different if I had chosen her. But I know that I can never go back and change the past. All I can do is move forward and try to make the best of the situation.

I still love my wife, even if I chose beer over her. I just hope that one day she can forgive me and understand why I made the decision I did. Until then, I will just keep drinking beer and trying to make the best of the situation.

A bit of context is needed and I apologize it may belong. It all started when my boyfriend (m27) and I (f27) moved in last year.

We introduced ourselves to our neighbour (f30ish) and she seemed great, super nice. We quickly learned that the soundproofing of this building is nonexistent, you hear everything. Regular toned conversations, showers turning on, TVs, you name it, we can hear it. I have tried my hardest to be a quiet and respectful neighbour but the neighbour this is about didn’t seem to care and often watched her tv at full blast and would have loud conversations on the phone at all hours. But it didn’t really bother me that much, what can you do?

A few months after moving in our neighbour had a guy “friend” over and it was loud. Headboard banging, slapping, screaming, loud. It was hilarious we thought, the first time. But this turned into an almost daily, almost always around noon, occurrence for about a month and this girl had lungs.

I could hear it everywhere in the building, toilet, downstairs. Just when I was beginning to get fed up with it and contemplating complaining to management, see I work from home and it was incredibly disruptive, it seemed someone else had enough and complained before me. Ah, the sweet relief of quieter s*x.

The screaming was toned down to moaning and I didn’t feel as assaulted in my own home anymore. I do think she thought we complained because she wouldn’t look at us anymore after that but I didn’t care, it was worth it.

Fast forward to two months, she and the guy and slowly was getting louder again. But I felt like I could deal with it since they normally happened around noon, or at least no earlier than 9. I had started working some days in the office as well so I wasn’t home to hear it as much, and most days I was gone before 7 am for my second job.

7:30am and I’m startled awake by a banging noise followed by some squeals and moans. I grabbed my pillow wrapped it around my head and tried to ignore it and sleep. 8am and I’m wide awake the noises were growing louder and the headboard was slamming with impressive force. I could feel the rage boiling up. My sleep is precious to me, I work two jobs and one is very heavy manual labour. Without thinking twice I grabbed our headboard and slammed our wall (the wall we share with our loud neighbor) and yelled not very nice things along the lines of “omg shut the **** up” and “I’m so ******* sick of this”. The silence from her side was incredibly satisfying at the moment and it has been beautifully quiet since.

Guys are such jerks.

At least those I dated. I always seem to attract the bad ones. I am a pretty girl, standing at 172m, a part-time model and known to have flawless skin. So why is it that the guys I have dated are all jerks? I admit that I have my own set of criteria and standards when it comes to dating. He must be taller than me, built body and good looking.

It took me years of dating to abolish my criteria.

The guys I dated? Horrible! I have heard things like I shouldn’t eat so much or else I will get fat. This was during my birthday, we went for a buffet and when he saw how much I was eating, he said ‘Didn’t know you can eat so much.

But you shouldn’t or else you will become fat. Why not just eat the salad?’ I rolled my eyes, I was happy and I have a hearty appetite when I am happy. Duh. Another one only wants me to wear skirts, dresses or tank tops when with him, because jeans and tee are too unfeminine. Then there’s the one who would cancel all plans we made if ever I went to meet him without make-up. He would literally drag me to Sephora or whatever make-up store and buy for me on the spot. Hello? I have flawless skin, I don’t need constant make-up to feel beautiful. And this other one who constantly had s on his mind, always pawing me here and there.

So the above all are bad enough right? This takes the cake. We were on vacation and at a crowded swimming pool, when he said to me, very loudly ‘You know what? You should get implants’. Kid you not. He said that in front of so many people. I was so humiliated and embarrassed.

I am a good C cup, why on earth do I need implants?!

I am 27, tired of dating all the wrong guys. I see a few of my friends in happy, stable relationships and get all envious. I just want someone who can love and embrace me for who I am.

Doesn’t mind that I eat a lot when I am happy, lets me wear whatever I want, loves me even with no make-up on, respects me and treats me as his equal. At this point, looks don’t even matter, as long as we get along and sparks happen, then that’s good.

But where are you, my Mr. Right?

A former Geylang prostitute shared a story about how her life changed after she stopped having S for money and took a private degree instead.

Here is the story:

“Admin please keep my identity a secret.

I used to work as a prostitute along Geylang, my family was poor and I wanted to make quick money.

It was not the easiest of jobs because there were many risks involved.

Some of the risks include clients refusing to pay after fking, so I made it a point to collect payment first before service start.

There is also the risk of police raids and I have seen a few close shaves.

Of course, there is always the risk of contracting an STD because of the number of men that we fk.

Life hasn’t been very easy with the whole pandemic, business has been slow and I could make more money working in a proper job.

With the money that I earned and saved up over the years, I enrolled into *school name withheld* and am currently studying a private business degree.

My life is so much better and I don’t need to be at the mercy of men touching and groping me.

I’ve had so much S over the years that I am sick and tired of it.

Thankfully I never caught any STDs as well.

Now I am living a much more peaceful life and my only focus is on my studies.

I spend my free time studying and working part time jobs to earn some extra money and kill time.

Nobody at work knows I used to be a prostitute.

Even my own family also doesn’t know, god.. Those were some chaotic times.

My family is also in a much better place.

Honestly this pandemic is like a blessing in disguise for me and I’m just glad that I don’t have to sleep with strangers anymore.

To all those S workers out there, be brave and take a leap of faith, stop degrading yourselves and do something worthwhile with your lives.”

Editor’s note: There’s a silver lining after all, really happy for you and hope you’re doing well in school.

I’m a 30 year old man and I’ve had enough of relationships. I’m done. I don’t want to waste my time and energy anymore. I’m done with the drama and the stress. I’m done with the expectations. I’m done with feeling like I’m constantly living up to the standards of someone else. I’m done with the lies and the deceit. I’m done with being taken advantage of.

So what am I doing instead? Hook ups.

Hook ups are my new way of life. It’s a way to get all the fun and excitement of being in a relationship without all the drama and stress. It’s a way to have a physical connection with someone without all the emotional baggage. It’s a way to find someone who is just as interested in having a good time as I am.

The best part is that I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s feelings. I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s expectations. I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s drama. I don’t have to worry about the lies and deceit. I don’t have to worry about being taken advantage of or not being respected. I don’t have to worry about any of that.

I can just focus on myself and my own needs. I can enjoy the moment and not worry about what might come next. I can just have fun and not worry about the consequences. I can just do what I want and not worry about anyone else’s feelings.

Hook ups are perfect for me right now. I’m not looking for a long-term relationship or anything like that. I’m just looking to have some fun and enjoy the moment. I’m looking for someone who is also looking for that. Someone who is willing to have some fun without the drama and stress of a relationship.

I don’t have to worry about the future. I don’t have to worry about the past. I don’t have to worry about any of that. I can just be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is. I can just have fun and not worry about anything else.

Hook ups are perfect for me right now. I’m not looking for anything serious and I’m not looking for anything long-term. I’m just looking to have some fun and enjoy the moment. I’m looking for someone who is also looking to do the same.

At what point do I (30F) give up trying to talk to my partner (32M) about marriage?

So I’ve been with my partner over 3 years. I moved in after a year and things have always been great. The only thing we have ever had any awkwardness about is the topic of engagement and marriage.

I have asked him several times to basically confirm that he wants marriage and kids long term because that’s what I want and I’m conscious that I’m not getting any younger. He has always said yes.

Last year we went away for an amazing vacation and I brought up getting married. He was really straight with me and said he wasn’t ready. I thought that was fair and moved on.

We’re a year on now though and I feel like I can’t even talk to him about it because he gets so uncomfortable but I’m now getting really paranoid that he’s going to decide he doesn’t want marriage and I’ll have wasted years on a relationship that isn’t going where I would like.

I get not being ready but at 32 and over 3 years in, with literally everyone around us getting married, I’m starting to think: is it me? Should I just give up bringing it up and hope that everything works out?

Netizens’ comments

I really don’t have any advice for you. All I can share with you is my own personal experience. I was with a man for a total of seven years. We talked about marriage once in a serious context and kids and he said that he didn’t want to get married because it was for the “masses“, and that kids only dragged you down. After I broke up with him, he did everything he possibly could to get me back, including telling me that he was going to propose to me when we were on a trip, but it wasn’t “romantic” enough. Mind you this is coming from a man who was not really romantic, and didn’t like to use the word love because “everyone uses it“. Which I see now looking back at it as just a copout and very childish behavior. After we broke up and he started saying how he had this five-year plan for us, I told him we never talked about marriage because it always made him uncomfortable, and he certainly didn’t let me in on his five-year plan. In the end, I realized that he was not the man for me and I needed someone who was comfortable with their feelings and who could say I love you and be an adult about relationships.

I wound up meeting an incredible man who is currently my husband, we were talking about getting married after about a year of being together, there was never any uncomfortableness or awkwardness between us regarding marriage. We knew that we would get married, we even figured out where we wanted to get married before he even proposed. We were both in our late thirties/early 40s.

My ex got married to another woman, they don’t have kids, but I realized it wasn’t marriage that my ex didn’t want, it was marriage with me. Sometimes a relationship just isn’t right for you, it’s not wasting time, however, I view past relationships as opportunities to learn and grow. And eventually you’ll grow and become your own person and you’ll find that person that matches your growth.

I hope you find what you want in your life and your relationship and that your boyfriend also figures it out and you can work it out together whether that means getting married or not. But you should never be afraid or uncomfortable to talk about your feelings and needs, that’s what a good relationship has. Is someone who will listen to those needs and discuss them with you even if it’s uncomfortable.

I’m so jealous of my sister’s marriage that it sickens me. I even snooped on her husband looking for evidence he’s actually crap. I’m ashamed.

My sister and her husband always seemed to have a good marriage (they’ve been together for around a decade), but you never really know, right? And tbh I thought they were just pretending since I’ve never had a relationship that was super good in private.

Well, now I do know. I’ve been living with them for three months. They took me in when my ex cheated on me. They do nice things for each other all the time, and it’s like they don’t even think about it. It’s just natural.

They’re always bringing each other little presents. My ex called me shallow when I wanted him to give me even a cheap present for my birthday.

Their eyes light up when they look at each other. My ex looked at me like I was a potato.

They hug each other as though they haven’t seen each other in months whenever one of them gets home. My ex ignored me when I got home/wanted me to “leave him alone to relax” whenever he got home.

They encourage each other’s hobbies and outside friendships. My ex hated my friends and thought my hobbies were stupid.

Worse yet, I can tell they’re holding back when it comes to being affectionate around me. I arrived home early from an event one day and saw her sitting in his lap while they watched TV and he played with her hair. The stuff I see is apparently just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how much they like each other.

They’ve even been through some of the tough crap (deaths, a miscarriage, job losses) that can tear couples apart, but they made it through just fine I guess.

I honestly didn’t think relationships like this were real. I thought it nonsense and that all relationships are miserable, hard work once you get past the honeymoon stage.

I couldn’t believe it, so I snooped on her husband (“Max”). It turns out his private communications are fine. He had conversations with female friends, but they were only platonic, and he even talked about how much he loves my sister (“Sandra”).

Anyway, I felt extremely guilty about snooping that I confessed. They forgave me. My sister took me out for the day without Max and told me she’d been in bad relationships before Max, which I already knew, and that she thinks they helped her learn how to spot red flags so that she’d be available when the right person for her finally came along.

She’s also gone to therapy for a long time, and she says it helped her learn how to make healthy relationship choices/be a good partner.

Max and Sandra offered to pay for me to get therapy so that’s nice. I just want to find something like what they have.

There’s a silver lining though I guess. Now that I know this kind of relationship isn’t a childish fantasy, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put up with somebody like my ex again.