I was choking last night at dinner and no one helped

Last night I went out to dinner with my husband and in laws. I took a bite of an onion ring and must’ve inhaled because the onion part slipped into my throat and was stuck.

I was trying to remain calm thinking oh It’ll go down I just need to drink something or swallow a few times. Tried that and nope nothing it was stuck. It’s been about 15-20 seconds and I start to panic.

I waved my hands and put my hands up to my throat. Everyone at the table looked at me like I had 4 heads and someone said “can you tell us what’s wrong” as I’m mouthing “I’m choking help”.

Another 15 or so seconds go by of me looking at everyone mouthing for help while my hands are around my throat.

At this point I give up on help and stand up to give myself the Heimlich maneuver with my chair. Luckily it FINALLY was out and I was coughing and trying to catch my breath all at once. Tears were filled in my eyes and I honestly felt so embarrassed.

I’m still being stared at and someone says “what was that all about?”. After catching my breath I can barely talk and say “I was choking thanks for the help guys” to which they say “how were we supposed to know? You didn’t tell us”.

It was a scary moment that felt like an eternity and I just felt so hopeless that they all just watched me then blamed me for not talking to tell them what I needed.

Waking up today my throat still hurts and I’m really sad/upset that no one tried to help. I thought it was a universal sign when someone is pointing at their throat that it means they are choking…

Boss discriminates against wealthy subordinate

My CEO started discriminating against my colleague after he received his inheritance from his late father, bought a condo and started driving a BMW to work.

In spite of his sterling performance, he was bypassed for promotion and given an average appraisal. I ask this because I received the proceeds from the en bloc sale of my centrally located condo, and am considering upgrading to a newer condo and a continental car.

However, I fear that it would affect my prospects of advancement in my company. Is it normal for bosses to discriminate against subordinates who own more expensive homes and cars than their superiors at work?

Netizens’ comments

1. It’s not normal to discriminate this way. It’s also difficult to prove a direct link between this knowledge of his new found wealth and said alleged discrimination.
   But it’s also unnecessary to let your coworkers know such details about your life – there’s absolutely no reason to tell anyone at work about your inheritance or how you afforded a new place or new car.
   • (OP) Thanks for your input. The CEO passed snide remarks during one Management Meeting about “people who live beyond their means”. This was after my colleague parked within sight of the boss that same morning. My colleague was a rising star in the company, but the CEO seems to have grown cold towards him for the past year. Others have noticed this as well.
2. Not normal but very human and SG like. People can’t stand to see others doing better than them especially when it’s your boss and supposedly should have a “better” life than you in every measurable aspect hence the sour grape behaviour.
3. That’s why they call it stealth wealth.
   Better to be stealthy than risk envy.
   Sounds like an unprofessional boss, I would say you and colleague should look elsewhere.
   • (OP) My colleague is still able to move to greener pastures as he is in his late 30s. I just turned 50 so I have less options. I can quietly use my en bloc money to purchase a new condo (nobody at my company needs to know where I live), but I am considering buying a Continental car as the COE on my current SUV is winding down.

My 25-year-old girlfriend who worked as a nurse has had a rough year. She was diagnosed with epilepsy 10 years ago but her seizures have suddenly become very frequent and she was told by her doctor that she has to stop working until they can get her epilepsy under control again.

I didn’t want her to eat through her savings so I have been financially supporting her as I work a decent paying job. This has made her incredibly down because she loved her job and she hates depending on others.

After such a bad year, I felt like she deserved something and I decided to go all-in and buy her a Coach bag. I spent $800 on it and I’ve been hiding it from her for two months.

I thought she’d be over the moon but this morning I finally surprised her with it and she literally broke down crying and then started yelling at me.

She told me that I was purposely trying to make her look like a bad partner because she can’t afford to buy me anything and then said that I was treating her like a “sugar baby” which I thought was completely ridiculous.

I told her she was being dramatic and it’s just a bag, she should be happy. This argument went on for about an hour before she told me and I quote, “shove the bag up your A.” and then she called her sister to come to pick her up and take her to her parents.

We’ve been together for 6 years. I called her repeatedly throughout the day but she ignored them all.

Around an hour ago, my girlfriend’s sister called me to tell me that my girlfriend had a bad seizure and she had to be taken to hospital and then her sister tried to blame ME for it because I “stressed her out.”

This is all because I bought my girlfriend a present. How is it my fault, Because I feel like I’m missing something.

Wow.. reading all these posts of girls expecting their bf to buy luxury engagement rings and even condo, I feel so lucky that I have an awesome gf who doesn’t even expect me to buy her anything.

So recently we were discussing our future and I asked her what kind of engagement ring she prefers. Surprisingly, she asked me not to buy any engagement ring for her as she feels that it’s not necessary.

I also suggested to her that we can get a resale flat because I would personally prefer to not wait 3 to 5 years for BTO. She told me that resale flats are quite expensive and she is ok with staying with my family while waiting for BTO.

As for our wedding, I told her I would prefer to have a banquet of 20 tables but she said she would personally prefer to have a house party to celebrate our wedding as she thinks that banquets are not necessary. But she said she would respect my decision if that is what I want.

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I am impressed by how frugal and considerate my gf is. She keeps saying she doesn’t want me to spend money unnecessarily because I only started working for about a year.

I’m really amazed by her. She has so many guys chasing her and some of these guys are apparently more well off than me. I once asked her why she never consider those rich guys and she told me she doesn’t care about living in big houses or driving posh cars because she justs wants to be with me and she would gladly marry me even if she has to stay with my parents and two sisters in a 4-room flat. I feel so lucky and I can’t wait to marry her and make her my wife.

Guys, if your gf ask you to buy her all those unnecessary material stuff, I think it’s best for you to reconsider the relationship. If a girl truly loves you, she would always help you save money and not find every chance to spend it.

Last week, I was made an Assistant Manager in my profession after spending 9+ years with this company. Over the 9 years, I stayed on while many turned in their letters.

I took over more work when there were no replacements. When the promotion eventually came, many sent their well wishes and congratulations, but little do they know that I only received a meagre $150 increment with this promotion.

Feeling absurd and angry at myself for staying loyal when many who have moved on and are already way ahead in terms of pay scale.

Here are what others think:

• Actually all the work you have been doing for them in the past 9 years is AM job scope. Due to lack of people, they just decided to promote you to AM to keep you around, and anyhow entertain you by throwing you the extra $150 increment.Should know better about the company during your 9 golden years there whether they are the cheapskate ones or can really pay. Most importantly, $$$ > job titles these days. (if just compare the two)
• That’s why when my company want to promote me to assistant manager. I told them I’m not ready knowingly the additional workload and stress that come with it. And the increment is also nothing to shout about. I’m happy to remain as a senior.
• You got promoted, time to throw letters. You can put in your resume you’re a AM now. It weights higher
• I worked for a the same for around 9 years. First few years was great as increment was reasonably good but bonus was normal. After the 3rd or 4th year, we all stopped receiving increment and bonus as boss said company not making money. I don’t know why but I kept staying. 2 years before I resigned, I got “promoted” to assistant manager without even knowing until HR told me but no increment, just a change of title on name card and HR issued a letter for my acknowledgmentNot trying to compare, just sharing

Just broke up with my fiance whom I share a joint account with. Am I the Ahole for asking for 100% of the money in our joint account because I think he should compensate me for my time wasted on him?

I have been dating my fiance for 3 years and we have been working for 2 years since graduating. He proposed to me last december and since then, I have been asking him to plan for our wedding, which I would prefer to be held as soon as possible because I am tired of working and want to be a housewife.

He told me he would prefer to have the wedding next year because he needs some time to plan the wedding but I want it to be held preferably by end of this year. Since he has agreed to stay at my parents’ house after marriage then there shouldn’t be any issues at all.

I just cannot understand why he wants to wait until next year to have the wedding because actually I was asking for a very simple wedding.

I only wanted to invite our friends and relatives to a dinner at a mid-tier hotel like Pan Pacific and to get very affordable wedding bands like Cartier. He certainly can afford them because he has $30k in his personal savings account and he earns $5k a month.

I’m not even asking for much because I know there are way more expensive places to hold a banquet and way more high-end jewellery brands to get wedding bands from. But he thinks that the wedding bands and hotels I chose are too extravagant even though I have offered to help him pay 20% of all expenses.

Because of all these issues, we quarrelled a lot and eventually I decided to break up with him because I realise he’s a very selfish person who doesn’t even care about what I want at all.

Even the engagement ring he got for me was a small 0.9 carat which cost only $9k although I have specifically told him that I wanted a 1.5 carat.

Now that we have broken up, we are in the midst of discussing how to split our joint account money and he said he will give me half of the money inside, which is only $10k.

His excuse for giving me only half of the money is that he was the only one contributing to the joint account. He did contributed to 100% of the joint account but I was the one who encouraged him to save up.

Whenever he wanted to buy useless things like Nintendo Switch, I stopped him from buying them. Without me, he wouldn’t even have savings at all.

Moreover, I wasted 3 years of my life on him so I think I deserve more than $10k. Honestly, even if he gives me all the money, which is merely $20k, I still don’t think it’s enough to compensate for the 3 years.

But he seems reluctant to give me 100% of the money and kept giving me all sorts of lame excuses. Should I continue to ask for $20k or should I just settle for $10k? I’m so tired of fighting over this.

I was called in for an interview over the phone. I went to the restaurant I thought I was supposed to be at. Told them I was there for my interview and got hired on the spot. Realized after the interview that it wasn’t even the location I applied to.

It’s the same company but a different location.

Should I pretend it never happened and try to go to work as normal? Or should I risk admitting my mistake and potentially losing the job due to negligence?

Here are what netizens think:

• What do you mean the wrong restaurant? Like it’s a chain and you went to the wrong location?
• Yea just take the job don’t bother saying anything. The other place probably though you no-showed and this place probably just took you as a walk in interview because every place is desperate for staff. Show up, get your offer in writing, and good luck at the new job.
• As someone that used to work for a restaurant with a sister location nearby, this used to happen a loooooot. I never thought it was that big of a deal and I was a hiring manager there for years.
• Congratulations! There’s no negligence here. You turned up, interviewed (or at least confirmed your name and that you want a job) and you were hired. It’s your job, if you want it. Enjoy!
• I really want to try this. Just show up at a place you want to work and tell them you are there for the interview.
• Which company is it, I also wanna try my luck and interview there, who knows, i might get the job too lol
• I think you should just be honest and tell them what happened, since you already got the job I’m sure they are impressed by you and will keep you any way.

I went on a second date with a cute Korean guy I met online. He’s a Korean expat.

Last year I started learning Korean. I picked up some new hobbies. One of those hobbies was learning Korean. I wanted to learn a language with a different alphabet, and Hangul is really easy to learn. I picked it up for fun and am not very good at it, it’s slow going, but it is going.

The first date was really basic, and my learning Korean didn’t come up. We just had a fun time and the conversation flowed naturally, so I didn’t think to halt the flow to say it. I didn’t think it mattered, it’s not like I’m any good.

Yesterday during our second date, it did come up. He forgot an English word and said it in Korean, and it happened to be something I learned during my vocab stuff, so I translated.

He was really surprised. When I said I knew some words and was slowly picking up grammar stuff, he seemed really frustrated.

He wasn’t angry but he seemed angry, he spoke in an accusatory tone and asked me why I didn’t tell him I was learning Korean. I told him it didn’t come up last time, and it did now. I asked if it was a problem, because I didn’t understand the reaction.

He cut the date short after telling me I should’ve told him I was “one of those girls.” I don’t know what that means! I wasn’t going to use him for linguistic purposes or anything, and I have a good job here so I don’t want to emigrate over there for work or anything.

Is there some cultural boundary I crossed?

Here are what netizens think:

• You’re definitely not the ah for learning a language. I think he might be paranoid that you might be one of those girls who are obsessed with kpop and a koreaboo. I’ve seen many stories were girls were dating Korean men for the kpop aesthetic. It’s very weird and think maybe that’s where his mind went.
• k-dramas and k-pop music are a thing, so there’s tons of people who are… like that. he might think you’re talking to him because he’s korean so you can pretend you’re dating an idol or call him oppa or something. 

I (24F) am honestly about to break up with my boyfriend for good.

My bf (28M) knows a girl (27F) and were best friends with her for years with her before we met. After we got into a relationship I felt awkward around her so I asked him to distance himself from her a little bit.

I originally thought he did but not only he lied to me about it, I also recently found out that he has cheated at least three times (doing it with the girl and asked for obscene photos via text), even a month before our third anniversary.

She confessed it to me and told me that she’s been in love with him all these years. When I confronted him, he denied it but I eventually got proof of the texts and he apologized saying that he said it was all a lie because he was afraid of losing me.

He really seems regretful and asked for another chance (he’s not talking to her anymore) but I don’t think we will work, he has lost my trust. I already told him this but he’s sure that if I give him a little bit more time everything will be okay.

I’m really trying to have hope because I really love him, but my mood is constantly changing and I’m getting tired of being this sad all the time… do you think people change?

Honestly, I don’t believe that a male and female can be best friends there is always something going on.

Do I continue to try and trust him?

Netizens’ comments

• You wrote that he already cheated three times!! What change do you think is going to happen?
• Good luck but if you let him get away with cheating on you 3 times he has no reason to stop, he has cheated the whole time you have been with you he does not respect you. So please respect yourself and hold your head up high and walk out that door and go NC, plus that will drive him crazy so it’s a way for you to hurt him back without cheating or telling lies.
• Gong dai gong cb, 3 times you still consider going back. Are you a genius.

It was a normal Friday night, no special occasion. I wanted to have dinner with my boyfriend but I was too tired to Google on where and what to eat. I wasn’t feeling well due to minor food poisoning.

My boyfriend then suggested a restaurant in Clarke Quay. (I felt like cancelling the dinner but didn’t want to disappoint him, he travelled to city from far away.)

We went to the restaurant but found that there was a minimum spend of $40 per pax. He refused to eat there and wanted to find a more budget-friendly place. At this point, I was already sweating af and very uncomfortable. My stomach was bloating. I just wanted to find a comfortable indoor location to rest and get a quick drink.

We finally managed to find a place to eat but the total bill came up to $70. My bf was super unhappy. I then asked him why he would choose Clarke Quay if he is not comfortable with the prices. He said he was expecting me to treat him back. Oh my god!

Netizens’ comments

• Dump him. $40/ pax is too expensive? Is he living in 1980s? And all that attitude because he was expecting you to treat him back? Lol. Dump him & thank me later.
• You not feeling well, stay home.He so petty, ask him stay home also.
• Petty guy no good for any relationship. Sure to feel lousy. Don’t be stuck in this pit. Go out to venture more and enjoy having more friends.
• as long as a $40 per head meal is not a daily affair, it should be fine. but the last paragraph really LOL
• If you guys can’t even come to a consensus on who pays or how the bill is paid then why are you still together, next time just split the bill 50 50 so everyone will be happy.