should i end my 7 months situationship

7 months into dating a guy but he still hasnt asked me to be his gf officially yet. what could be the reason?

i’ve been dating this guy for about 7 months now but he has never once make our relationship official. we do things that normal couple do, he brings me to his workplace, to meet his friends and also his family frequently. we met online btw!

im not really sure what he wants with me, i’ve talked to him twice about how i would want our relationship to be official but it was just a subtle talk. to him, he feels that labels are not important as long as 2 person are happy together which I understand. but to me, i feel that labels in a relationship aspect is important.

we meet each other 3-4 times per week, i pretty much see him as someone i would spend my life with. but im not sure about him. he also does not gets defensive about his phone, he does update me his whereabouts on days we dont meet and sends me telebubbles on who he is with. (so i dont THINK he has someone else)

im not sure if i should just end it because im afraid i would fall even deeper for him when all of this might just be a game to him.

guys, what are some reason you would not ask ur date to be your girlfriend officially?

Netizens’ comments

1. Why dont you ask him directly
2. Have you considered talking to him about this? Communication is important frand
3. Does he introduce you to his friends or family as his gf
4. Someone pls help me uds what is a situationship. Why is the dating scene so complicated now
5. probably going to be downvoted, but… Ask him directly?? I’m one of those who dont care about labels, and was that way with my ex. Didn’t even realise it was an issue until they asked about it. If i’m treating you as my partner, the whole world knows you as my partner, what matters about the asking? If you need the assurance, just tell him? And I don’t post on insta all that much, so, that was that also.
6. Lol if they are serious about you they would ask you to be their gf and discuss future etc. None of this stupid label nonsense.
7. Aiyo if the guy likes u he WILL ask u to be his gf. If he never then he doesnt like u THAT much.

My girlfriend just dumped me for another man and it’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever felt.

My (20M) girlfriend (20F) just dumped me for another man she met in a bar a few nights back. We had been dating for over 4 years and throughout that entire time she always talked about wanting to build a family with me and be with me forever.

Before me she had a history of hopping from people to people and trying out different things, which I had no issues with when we started dating. We dated for a long while and it was pretty good except for a few things that I probably should have noticed sooner.

Number one is that unlike a lot of relationships it did not start off well. For a lot of the beginning I questioned myself if this is who I wanted to be with. She was very clingy to me and would keep me up at nights and get mad if I went to sleep.

Number two is that my friends told me these things too, and I didn’t listen. I thought they were just jealous and I cut off a lot of relationships during this time.

Finally number 3, my ex girlfriend who hated my guts reached out to me to tell me that she thought I deserved better and I should be careful. I obviously didn’t listen to this.

Luckily things mellowed out after the first year or so and we were good. I reconnected with a lot of my friends and everything seemed good for quite a while.

Then the other night I was away for a few days and she went to a restaurant with a few of her girl friends. She told me that a guy was there that hit on her and asked for her number.

I asked her if she took it and she said yes. I was very uncomfortable with this and I asked her to not talk to him and she said okay. The next day she asked for a break in the relationship.

She told me she thought she was losing feelings and she wanted to break up, but then decided a break was all she needed. I told her okay and tried my hardest to respect her wishes, but if you have ever been in a situation like that you can understand how hard that is.

I ended up contacting her about little things like my dad getting around and how he was doing, but then my dad had pretty serious health emergency. He lives alone and has trouble functioning on his own so my and my siblings come and see him ever now and then to check in.

While this health incident was happening I called my gf and told her. She asked if I was okay and we talked about it and eventually the tone of conversation changed. She out of nowhere said everything would’ve been fine if you left me alone then hung up. I was really scared so I kept trying to contact her.

Then she dropped the bombshell on me that she wanted to break up, and not just that but she had kept talking to that dude from the other night. She’s been cheated on before and we’ve never had a situation like this so I didn’t question it, but she apparently has been doing this.

In the days since a lot of her friends have reached out to me to tell me that they are sorry for how I “apparently “got trapped in her manipulative personality and they were glad to see us apart. I didn’t expect any of the sort from these people but I’m glad I heard it.

But finally as the title of this post says I just feel set free. I don’t have to worry about anyone anymore, I don’t have to check my phone every two seconds. I can just run free and do what I want.

Yeah I cried, and it hurt for a while. I think that’s a given with anything I do. But even now just a week after that I feel free. Who knows I may spiral down again and not feel so good soon, but for now I feel like a new man.

Luckily we didn’t live together or share all that many things so it isnt hard for me in that regards, but I’m sure more longer lasting effects will appear in the days coming. Either way right now I feel great!

I need to get this off my chest, I’m having a tough day guys. I’m 30 years old and I’ve got nothing to show for it. I still live with my emotionally toxic family, have no romantic partners, no children, no house, hardly any money, no education. On most days, I don’t think about these things and I just put my head down and move on with my life. I have been suffering from mental health issues for decades and I am receiving help for it. But today was a difficult day.

I ran into one of my friends from secondary school. We spent some time catching up and by the end of it, I wanted to cry. See, I was okay at one point in my life. I was doing well at school and was at the top of many of my classes before my issues hit its peak and crushed me completely. Today, my former classmates are doctors, lawyers, IT professionals, teachers, and investment bankers. Some are even married with children. I was from a SAP school, nearly all my schoolmates are successful. Whereas I dropped out of school, have a dead-end job that barely pays, and don’t seem to have much of a future. My highest education level is O levels. I’ve tried going back to school many times but would drop out each time due to the mental health issues that were unfortunately debilitating for me. I’ve not stopped though, I will be doing my A levels in 2023 once I’ve saved enough money to enrol somewhere. Yet it all feels utterly pathetic and it feels like my life has been a massive failure. I will be a 32 year old doing A levels.

Comparison is the thief of joy, one of the first few things I did almost a decade ago was actually deleting all my social media . I lost touch with most of my friends from school and didn’t know how any of them were doing. Every now and then I would receive updates from the few people I was in touch with but I would try to keep my head up and not let it bring me down. I’m happy for all these people, they are good people. It’s not their success that is bringing me down, it’s my own failure, and the magnitude of my failure which becomes so clear once I compare myself to my peers, that’s crushing me. I don’t know how my life ended up here.

For years, I believed that things would work out for me. I believed that it’s not my timeline but God’s timeline, I would tell myself that I can’t follow the timeline of the world. There are so much uncertainty in the world, someone could have all the success in the world and die tomorrow. I had this almost delusional optimism that things would be okay, I believed that God had a plan. Today, I find myself in tears, thinking that there is probably no God. There is no plan. I’m alone. By telling myself that it was going to be okay, I was just consoling myself. The reality is that I got left behind in life, my life will never be the same as my peers’. I have to make peace with that. There is also a chance that I may never be okay. I may never recover from my mental problems either.

Everyone is disappointed and ashamed of me. My life has been a failure to them. I don’t blame them for seeing it that way. I used to tell myself that it’ll be okay someday. I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t see myself recovering, leaving my family, having a family of my own, successfully get into uni, having a better job. I don’t see any of it happening.

I just needed to tell someone this, thank you for reading. Tomorrow will be a better day, but today, I just need to lick my wounds.

Most embarrassing thing that constantly pops up in my mind …

Was with my sister crossing the road and the person from the other side was walking towards us, theres many people crossing (think, bugis junction to bugis st that crossing)

Was swinging my hand and the woman walking across me was also swinging her hands and we “shook hands” as in, it just fit together, we awkwardly pulled our hands apart and i ran the rest of the way while my sister can’t stop laughing.

Awkward…

Another one was when I went to the dentist to get my teeth checked. it was Invisalign i think. and the dentist said “put this in your mouth and it will harden” its sort of a mould that will show him the alignment of my teeth.

an intrusive thought came to me and i repeated “put in mouth will harden… heh”

His ears turn red! (wearing a mask) Thats when I realized what I just said and was sitting there the whole appointment thinking if he gonna sue me for harassment

Netizens’ comments

1. Many years ago, I was a cashier at an atrium event and I forgot to give a customer back his change. Right after he had paid me, I just closed the cash register and there was a dumbfounded look on his face. I didn’t realise what I’d done until he reminded me.
2. Went to clinic for eye infection. Doctor did that eye test where you read numbers from far away. She pointed to the tissue box and told me to cover one eye. I held up the entire box to cover my eye. Turns out she meant take one piece of tissue to cover my eye…
3. Tore my pants in school at the butt and didn’t realise.
   It was NDP celebrations so at one point I was standing up with my classmates and belting out songs.
   I only realised when I was walking home and a preschool kid walked past, pointed at my ass and laughed. Basically I gave a free show to everyone behind me.
4. Had my fly unzipped during my wedding. thank god for photoshop.
5. Accidentally poop in my pants when I trying to control in mrt train and one more stop to the station that have toilet 🥲 I don’t know why I always tummy ache in the morning , otw to school. It is just my body telling me not to go to school ?

Unfair Singpost Compensation for Lost Item

Hi everyone, need some help/advice.

I sent a tracked mail containing my earphones on 12 May, and after hours of calling, they’ve finally declared my package lost today.

However, they’ve just informed me that the total compensation they can give me is $10 because it is a tracked mail. The retail price of my earphones is $249, so i think it’s quite ridiculous and that I’m not being fairly compensated.

If anyone has any experience/advice on how and where to argue my case, I’d be really grateful.

Thank you

Netizens’ comments

According to SingPost’s website: “In the event of non-delivery*, damage or loss of package; there is maximum claim of S$10 per package under this service. However, please note that extended insurance is not available.”

1. I think they were pretty clear about the compensation in the event something happens to the package. Most delivery companies do that too.
   It’s up to the customer to decide on a service which they are comfortable with.
   Unfortunately, this round things didn’t go well for you. Next time choose a service where your package is insured. Especially when sending higher value items.
2. You didn’t buy insurance. The insurance is meant to cover loss of a valuable item. The $10 compensation is just kind of a refund on postage.
3. I lost a package before using signpost but luckily the lost damage is capped at $88. They reimburse me the max amount.
4. No insurance for the package? If not then 10 dollars is what is listed.
5. Try contacting singpost rep’s and try to reason with them. (1605)
   by right you are only able to be given $10 as per their policy 
6. No choice.. lost a few things with zero compensation before.
7. for parcels afaik you will be compensated based on declared value.

sitting on a table for 4 when I’m eating alone?

Context: Today is one of those days I decided to eat alone. I decided to go to old town Bak Kut teh for lunch at 1230 pm. Largely peak hour lunch traffic. Queued to get a table.

When it was my turn, I gestured to a staff member that I’m a solo. He pointed to a empty table of 4 and I proceeded to sit there.

Behind me were several groups of people who had to wait for a few more minutes before they got their table, all while I was waiting for my food with 3 empty seats.

The restaurant is mainly made up of wooden tables of 2, pushed together to form a square to allow 4 seats. There were some tables that were separated for 2, and some pushed together for 6.

During the course of my meal, I noticed the queue was still present and I felt more and more self conscious of my 3 empty chairs.

AITA for sitting in the table of 4 with 3 empty seats even though the staff member indicated for me to sit there. Should I have pushed the tables apart so there’s an empty table for 2 or given up my queue for the groups behind until a table for 2 freed up? Am I being too self conscious?

Netizens’ comments

1. Not your problem, staff directed you accordingly.
2. If the staff directed you there then it’s not your fault. You were assigned that seat.
   The staff should be the one to do so not you.
   You’re overthinking
3. Here’s a secret tip from an FnB worker. If the staff directs you to a big table without you asking and there’s a possibility of a queue, they’re doing to stifle the flow. Sometimes they just can’t manage a rush of customers, ya know
4. No, staff directed.
   Pushing the tables might confuse staff when taking orders. There’s a reason why tables are set up like that (eg. 4 pax table is table 9)
   To not overthink, just think of it as “First come first serve”.
5. It’s the staff n sitting arrangements fault. The staff can actually ask you if you mind they separate the table for other ppl or if you don’t mind sitting w others. Not your problem.
6. This just triggered my social anxiety.

I (25F) overheard my (27M) boyfriend say that he chose the wrong girl

For context, me and my boyfriend have been together for in total 8 years. We met between mutual friends while I was still in school. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating.

The reason for this was because I was too scared to make a move and secondly, he was in love with one of our mutual friends.

After she got a boyfriend, he moved on to liking me and we have been dating ever since.

Last Saturday was his birthday and he told me he has never been thrown a surprise birthday party and would like to experience one.

I worked all week before Saturday (his birthday), planning and inviting people, getting reservations, buying a cake, etc.

I asked his best friend to hang out with him for most of the day so that I could set up and get everyone to get here and hide for the surprise.

The birthday party was a success and he was smiling the whole time. He had snuck off with his best friend somewhere and I wanted to find him so that we could sing happy birthday and cut the cake.

As I was walking down the hallway I heard him and his friend talking so I kept walking towards their voices. I heard him tell his friend that he should have kept trying with our mutual friend.

He told him that he should have been the man that was engaged to her and not her now fiancé. He said that he hated waking up to me and that he wished that our mutual friend was the one that threw him his first surprise party.

He said that he felt disgusted every time he had to kiss me or hold me because he knew that our mutual friend should be in his arms instead.

He said that he felt like he was stuck in our relationship and that he would end up “having” to marry me. He said that our mutual friend was better than me in looks from head to toe, he said that “she was the most gorgeous girl i’ve ever seen”.

I went back to the party and told everyone that I couldn’t find him and that we would have to wait for him to come back. When he came back, he gave me a hug and a kiss on the head and told me he loved me.

I didn’t want to ruin his party so I went along with it. He doesn’t know that I know he doesn’t honestly love me, I’ve just been going along with everything.

I honestly don’t want to break up with him, I just want to know how I can make him fall in love with me. I don’t know what I did to make him feel so unhappy so I would like to know how do I make my boyfriend fall in love with me or should I just give up on our relationship?

He is the first boyfriend I’ve ever had and I’m scared to start dating again at my age.

am i wrong for telling my average sized D bf he’s gigantic

I absolutely love my bf, we’ve been together for over 6 years and we’re each others first. He’s the love of my life, kind, caring and an absolute angel.

I love everything about our life but I always tell him that he has a “monster c-k” because I know he loves hearing that.

I love his D, I really do but I know it’s at best, a little above average. We were having lunch earlier and came across someone saying they love their bf average D and he was like “oh man, i could NEVER recover from something like that”.

He is attentive, emotionally intelligent and literally perfect but this is the first time i’ve heard him say a lil immature which is kinda funny but makes me wonder if i’m being a bad person by “lying to him”. Am I overthinking this?

Netizens’ comments

1. You are over thinking, but if he’s ever watched adult videos, I’m sure he also knows his place in the hierarchy
2. If my wife told me I had a “monster c-k” I’d know she was just trying to be nice. I know I’m barely average in size. I’d just consider it as a compliment.
3. I always try to pay an honest compliment rather than a flattering one. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything so terrible about the compliments you’re giving though
4. My girlfriend, on the other hand, tells me that I should castrate myself because my D is so small, she can’t feel anything.
5. If he’s happy with the obvious white lie and you don’t mind keeping it up, it seems harmless.
6. Lol do you want you bf to say your average at best, nothing wrong with little lies to boost their ego just dont push it
7. Nothing wrong with a little ego boost to be honest, lie or no lie.

My gf(19) moaned another name

M(19) and my gf F(19) were f-ing. This happened about an hour ago and she moaned another name that wasn’t mine. I don’t really know how to feel or what to say or what to do.

She claims the name was said on tv and when she went to moan my name she moaned that name. we stopped what we were doing and I just laid there not know what to really do after that.

Netizens comments

1. I’ll never catch my wife in this. Her ex and I have the same name.
   Unless that other man’s name was Jesus, I’d be suspicious
2. I was once giving my ex head…. he moaned out his ex’s name. I asked why he did that and he said i ‘did something exactly like she used to do’ not really the same situation but regardless it sucked and found out he was cheating on me for most of the relationship.
   unsure if it was ever with her because he denied it…. but he was cheating. we broke up eventually but it was a long while after this incident. too many red flags i ignored…. seems a little sus that she said that and said it was someone from the tv show?? I don’t know if it’s grounds for breaking up but really have a serious conversation with her about it and let her know how you feel.
3. Bruh all these comments are so crap. If he had moaned some other girls name I know u all would tell him to get f-ed.
   OP I would be hella turned off and upset too cause that is weird no matter the reason
4. hey OP? when my ex did this, he was cheating, and I stupidly stayed for several years after that. choosing to err on the “oh it was a mistake” side of things. it was a mistake, that I let him get away with.
   I’m not saying go scorched earth and drop your partner, but please be cautious. You need to have a serious conversation about it and decide if it’s worth it to stay with her and believe her, or if it’s too much and you need to go.

Why do you like branded goods?

I have always been curious cos I don’t at all appreciate branded goods. I can afford them but happy with normal everyday brands such as uniqlo for example.

From a new shoe from Adidas, to luxury brands LV, Hermes, Prada, etc. Singaporeans queue for these and I know people who will state that their items are Prada or whatever.

And my observation is that many of these people are not high earners.

Why?

Netizens’ comments

1. For now I think it’s a symbol of status though. Sometimes the design not bad.
2. Some see it as an achievement (managed to become manager, shall reward oneself)/ status (able to afford this so one should buy all of these brands from now on) / I’m so cool (gotta fit in with the crowd like a sheep)
   Some see it as a better quality = last long, due to good stitching and material
   And then there’s the insurance/MLMs who wants to lure the naive into making quick cash so they wear as much branded goods so that it increases the enticement of it all / increase trustworthiness / put on IG to show #gratitude #10kpermonth
3. I like the brand promise.
   A brand has uphold their standards that live up to their name (e.g. quality, good design, nice aesthetics, etc.).
   But if they don’t live up to what they are known for, I drop them.
4. Honestly reading the comments and I wonder what is with this OP’s obsession with “look at me, I’m so frugal and thrifty and eat cai png only. You spend more? BAD LIFE CHOICES!!!!”
   can’t people just enjoy stuff anymore???
5. Depends on each person’s interest and priorities mah.
   I don’t care for branded clothes bags shoes because my interest is not in that category, I find it a chore when I need to shop for those things. I am also clumsy and don’t trust myself to keep them in good condition. I can however appreciate how they look even though they’re not worn by me, and I see the benefits eg branded bags where you can bring them in for free regular cleaning and maintenance, or having high resell value.
   When it comes to groceries and home stuff though, I would then get “branded” goods if that makes sense? I won’t mind getting the pricier brands of butter, Japanese sushi rice and quinoa, Kleenex 4ply toilet paper, 3M brand instead of cheaper no-name brands. I’m not high earner but I just appreciate the small improvements these bring to my daily quality of life.
   I know people who purchase branded fashion items but are more frugal regarding food and household purchases. No right or wrong either way, as long as you’re not getting in debt or being driven by a shopping addiction then do what you enjoy la, life is short.