The most valuable thing money can buy is peace of mind

I have been financially stable before. When I was younger I was able to work and didn’t have a child to raise alone. And then I went and got pregnant and the baby’s dad left.

I used to have my dad to help with things like groceries and emergencies, as I helped care for him. Two years ago he fell out of his wheelchair and died and my life has been a nightmare since.

The thing that many people who have a backup support system don’t realize is how much sleep you lose when you constantly have to worry about the little things. with the rising cost of everything, I am barely getting by.

The peace of mind that money gives is huge. I don’t even have a credit card! If something breaks, like my dishwasher or my phone, I’m completely out of luck. My kid accidentally clogged the sink – I can’t get someone to fix that until next month.

I already lost 18kg that I didn’t really need to lose, just because I couldn’t feed myself and I always feed my kid first.

I don’t sleep. I’m all my kid has and he has my time but I can’t offer him much more than that. I lay awake and worry about the things I have no other option than to neglect, like my health.

I understand that these are first world problems and I’m so grateful for what I do have but man, sometimes I want to give up.

I’m tired of cooking everything from scratch and never eating out. I feel bad that my son misses out on fun things with his friends and field trips. This isn’t the life I thought I would be living and I’m so over it

calling my wife out when she gossiped about my size

My (31m) and my wife (29f) have been married for 2 years together for 6. We’ve always had a good relationship and communicated well but we’ve just had out first fight. It’s bad.

My wife often has group video calls with her friends, about 6-7 women. One of them is in a new relationship and they were discussing the sizes of their men to compare.

I overheard my wife told them that I am x size and that she would have left me a long time ago if I wasn’t good to her. They roasted me and hearing my wife laugh with them crushed me. Just for reference, I am average

When she got off the phone I asked her 1. Why was she discussing my genitalia with her friends and 2. Why would she continuously body-shame me for 20 mins and laugh with her friends when they called me sorts of names and compared me to her ex.

Her response was that it’s what girls do and that it’s not her fault that I just an average guy. I asked her how’d she’d feel if I talked to my buddies and I made fun of her labia and compared her to my ex. (I would never do that but just wanted her to understand my pov). She spilled her drink on me and called me an a-hole for body-shaming her and threw her phone at me.

I’m currently in the guest room. She’s not talking to me. She called her mom and sister, they both said I’m an AH for hurting her feelings. I don’t think I’m an AH. All I did was try to get her to see my POV.

Netizens’ comments

1. I am a woman and I have never discussed size with any of my female friends who are into guys. And we have had A LOT of girl talk conversations about guys but no one ever body shames. This is really bizarre to me she is claiming this. The sad reality is some people their gender (Ive seen this go both ways) shouldn’t be body shamed and other genders it’s ok. It is INCREDIBLY ridiculous. My SIL used to do this to her dad about his MPB until I called her out. Not ok, body shaming is body shaming, it doesn’t matter what gender it is towards.
2. That was a very logical question to ask her. And her bringing in her sister and mother to gang up on you makes her an even bigger a-hole, and she was already a massive one to begin with.
3. Wasting your life with her man, get out.

Hookup wouldn’t let me sleep!

I (28f) hooked up with a guy that I’ve been talking to for a while. He was honestly mediocre at best but not the worst.

However, when I tried to sleep he kept trying to talk! Or he wants to cuddle, wanted to touch me, and just UGH. I told him I needed to go home and feed my dogs just to get away from him. We hooked up around 2 am and I left around 7:30 am.

I swear this guy did not sleep at all. He kept grabbing me to lay on his chest which for some reason was so u comfortable. I just wanted to snuggle with the pillow and pass out but no. He kept caressing my arm, my side, and running his hands through my hair.

Then he wanted to start talking with me about work. Sir, it’s 4 am and I’m EXHAUSTED. I finally just pretended to fall asleep at which point he turned the TV on??

I vibed with him so hard and then only to find out he was mediocre in bed and the worst after that I’ve ever had…blegh, just stfu already.

I used to consider myself the queen of casual hook up until this, now I kind of want to avoid it from now on.

Netizens’ comments

1. Perhaps that was this guy’s shy and timid attempt at after-care, which is something you can definitely improve on, yourself. Him trying was a green flag in my opinion.
   All bedroom talk expectations aside for a second, at any moment you could have just said something like, “Hey, I’d really like to get some shut-eye, it’s been a long day, I’m tired”, at that point you gently get off of his chest and into a better sleeping position and out you go.
2. If you don’t express your wants, needs and boundaries, you have no right to be mad at someone for not getting them. Food for thought.
3. Do you usually spend the night after a hook up? Back when I had random hook ups or one night stands after going to the bar, I almost never expected to spend the night or have her spend the night. It was wham, bam, thank you ma’am then “Ok, that was fun. We should do it again sometime” and then I’d leave her place or she’d leave mine.

He made me cry in a good way, did I freak him out?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a little bit and we’ve hit it off pretty well. I really like him, and I’m pretty sure he does too.

The first time we f-ed it was surprisingly intimate and sultry. This second time we did it, it was on another level. He was really attentive and careful with the way he touched me. He was dominant but in like, a loving way, so to speak.

When we got into the actual penetration, he was talking to me in a really caring but dirty way. It naturally demanded my response but not in an aggressive way.

He was kissing me, playing with my hair, rubbing my chest (which no one’s ever done before) and I don’t know why but I felt so overwhelmed in a good way to the point where I cried a bit.

He asked me if I wanted to stop but with a look knowing I didn’t, and not too longer after it made me come. Which I’ve never done from penetration.

I apologized after because I felt really embarrassed, he assured me it was fine but I still feel really weird about it. Would that freak a guy out?

Netizens’ comments

Sounds lovely. I’m experiencing this with a guy at the moment, he makes me feel so loved and cared for. I’m a SA survivor and he is the first one i trust to sleep with.

The pleasure that i feel with him is unreal, he’s also the first one that made me come by going down on me and by penetration.

I haven’t cried infront of him (yet lol) but after the second time we slept together, i started shaking. Its my way of releasing the tension and trauma probably.

It felt very vulnerable, but not bad. He just held me and was there for me. Maybe you can relate, maybe not. By the way you describe him i dont think it would freak him out to see you cry. It’s a sign that you can let go with him and that you feel safe. Thats something very intimate and beautiful to share.

Sorry, but I just have to vent…

I’m feeling sick… I just asked my boss for a raise (with all the expected arguments) and his answer was: “You know? as I realized in my time (boss is 60something), money is not everything. There was a point where I decided myself not to pursue more money, because I saw I had enough to live and to provide sustenance to my family. You should do the same”

I mean…what the actual F is that for an answer? Thank you for listening/reading/whatever

Netizens’ comments

1. “So what you’re saying is, if a job doesn’t pay enough to live and provide sustenance for my family, I should find a better one. Got it.”
2. “One day, I realized that I was throwing away the hours of my life by laboring away for a firm that doesn’t care about me. I quit. You should do the same.”
3. Tell him you’re surprised he got to his position without ever having to understand inflation. And then walk away.
4. You are right boss, I look forward to the day where i earn enough to provide sufficient sustenance for my family and I don’t need to ask for an increase to get me closer to that goal
5. The answer to this is “But I don’t have enough to live that’s why I need a raise.”
6. If money isn’t everything then ask him to give you some of his lol.
7. Love people who are well-off saying money isn’t everything. Like, okay, where are you getting all the free stuff then?
8. Aw ya classic. When I asked for a raise once my boss asked me what my home expenses were and told me I was actually “quite wealthy”. I was earning 1.4k
9. Oh dear… But if you didn’t need the money, you certainly wouldn’t be asking. Also, it’s good for you to try and get more money out of a job because it’s an indicator of how much they value you and your time. If they’re not willing to pay you enough, they don’t value you.
10. I had a boss tell me that because I was single and didn’t have a family he paid me less than those who did because they needed the money more. Even people who had been there for a shorter period of time or didn’t meet my level of productivity or experience. I found a new job.

I (25F) told my husband (27M) that not every girl wants to sleep with him

I feel bad about this. He doesn’t seem hurt but I don’t want it to fester in his head so I wanted to ask opinions. Basically, my husband has a history of always thinking girls want to sleep with him.

Girl says hi at the cashier, she wants to sleep with him. Older coworker asks how his weekend was, she wants to sleep with him. Girl compliments his work, she wants to sleep with him, etc.

Some of the time I do think he’s justified but a lot of them I think he’s majorly reading into it. I never mentioned anything about it and just let it go to give him the confidence boost.

My coworkers met him for the first time last week. One of them is usually cold to me, but after she met him, she ran into me at work and told me that my husband is so nice and that she hopes I bring him around more often. It felt very sweet and platonic and I’m pretty sure she is a lesbian.

Anyway, I mentioned this to him and he had a way over the top reaction, saying “she definitely wants to sleep with me, why else would she randomly be nice to you, no one would do that unless they want to sleep with their coworker’s spouse.”

For some reason, it set me off this time, and I told him incredulously “dude what? Where did you get that from? That’s such an overreaction. She was just being nice. She doesn’t want to sleep with you and I think she’s a lesbian.”

He responded asking me if I thought he was ugly, I.e. why would she not want to sleep with me? I told him no, he is not ugly, but that jumping to that conclusion was just weird. He accepted it and that was that.

I can’t help but feel like I’m going to give him confidence issues now or make him feel like he’s not attractive. I’m wondering if I’m justified in not wanting him to constantly be thinking girls want to screw him but I feel like I was harsh.

What do you all think about this and should I do anything about it? Did I screw up? I feel like an evil person. I want him to always be confident in himself so I don’t want him to think I was trying to hit his self-esteem. It’s just annoying when he always thinks every girl wants to sleep with him.

Thanks all.

How do you deal with drunk people in your block?

Context: a drunk man abt in his 60s keeps hurling vulgarity at me when he sees me with my dog in the lift. I live on 13 floor but he lives on the 9th floor.

So the thing is I would take down his usual timing that he cone out and walk my dog like 1h earlier or later than the timing noted down.

However, despite this, I tend to encounter him and he does his nonsense to me.

Last week, he was frustrated hurled vulgarities at me both in English and his own language n keep pressing the lift button to prevent me from going down.

Luckily, one of his family member came out and stop him.I would just tend to keep quiet and mind my own businessas i believe there is not point in wasting my energy to quarrel with someone who cant think straight but however i do tend to feel annoyed and sian on dealing with these wierd ppl.

Anyone has story to share n end this type of problem?,

Netizens’ comments

1. How do you even encounter one person so often lmao. Is he camping in the lift waiting for you?
   • (OP) I really have no idea man. I exhausted my alternate methods to avoid him le. Is like I take an empty lift down, so coincidental stops at lvl 9
2. If he is hurling vulgarities, he is committing a criminal offence.
   Call the police next time you see him and they’ll happily take care of it. Don’t give any more chances.
   Such unruly behaviour has no place in our tranquil and peaceful society.
3. Consider recording the incidents for evidence.
4. Tell him to stfu or you will call the polis, and next time take video and record as evidence.

Why are Ang Moh so idolized in Singapore ?

Please feel free to correct me on this. But why are white expat so idolized and revered by middle class and upper class Singaporean? I’m from Penang, so seeing white people everywhere isn’t something new to me.

But I grew up seeing these white expat assimilate into the Penang culture and environment. I would have expected that Singaporean would have national pride to encourage these Ang Moh to embrace the Singaporean culture and not the other way around.

Granted this observation is mainly regarding the upper class and upper middle class Singaporean.

Netizens’ comments

1. Remnants of colonial mentality although also due to the country’s economic dependency on international trade with western countries at the start.
2. They are idolised in Asia, not just SG. Yup, I don’t agree with it either…it’s frankly ridiculous
3. They will not be idolized soon, the West is a mess.
4. Usually by those service staff tbh, those pinoys see ang moh, yes sir yes sir, still trapped in the colonial past. See chinese, their tone change
5. Whiter person here. Asian people treated me normal for the several years I lived in SG, only strange thing is women crotch gazing and a food stall vendor gave me a fake bill.
   Also an angry factory worker spilt sauce on my pants because he probably thought I was taking a local’s job. Got called an ang moh a couple times. Indian women hit on me but never Asian.
   I might have been protected by people at work a bit because I come from a different culture. The pressure to do good at work was greater than for locals because it seemed like they expected me to have super powers because I got head hunted to work in SG. Asians were mostly jealous of my salary if anything and resented me being in sg but friendly to my face.
6. Throughout SEA, there’s definitely some sort of White Privilege going on – I have encountered this when travelling with my Malay wife (been dating since 2015, so go away with accusations of sexpat, pls). I personally have done nothing to deserve it. Am not more atas, I live in an HDB, but I do think it still holds a novelty value for some.
7. I don’t think it’s being idolized, if anything, it just goes to show that Singaporeans in general are more open minded to new cultures I guess.

I called my bf a cheater and he got really offended

I’m 20f and he’s 24m we only been together a short time of six months. He works a lot of the time I don’t get to see until the weekends most times. I only work part time and live at home so it’s really up to him when we see each other.

Last weekend we saw each other a short time and we hooked up. Something happened and we had a fight( he called me the wrong name) so things ended early I had to go home.

I found out later he went out with friends to drink at a bar. It made me mad but I don’t control him. Later that night early morning I got a text and it woke me up. It was from an unknown number and it’s basically said “I just f-ed (my bf’s name) after we drank. I hope you know he likes me better then you” I replied asking who is this and why are you lying? But I guess I was blocked and got no reply.

I spammed my bfs phone for hours but never heard back. Finally on Sunday he picked up after I called him one more time. I asked what happened what was that text what did he do. He said nothing he just drank with friends then passed out all night. He called me crazy for believing the text ( I screenshot it and sent it to him). I didn’t believe and called him a cheater! He got really mad I called him that.

He then said you’re only a cheater if it’s more than once, once is just a mistake. He said how dare you call me cheater I’m not like that! I asked him exactly what mistake he made but he wouldn’t tell me. I was so angry and hurt almost going to cry I was going to end it right there. But he told me he can’t be with some so naive about relationships with no trust in their partners who let a little drunken mistake affect it. He said if I calmed down and became more mature he might think about taking me back. I just hung up on him.

This guy who I really liked how could he be like that? Why’s he think I’m so naive. I just wish he never did that I saw a future together. In moment of weakness I considered us getting back. Maybe he’s changed and learnt something over all this. But I doubt it.