“Oh congrats hor your daughter promoted!” “Oh Woah her son got into uni Le”

Calling someone a show off and boasting about their achievements just because she was simply sharing. Apart from our own parents and partner, a majority of people I’ve met are never genuinely happy for the achievements of others. They’ll find ways to make the person paint the person negatively by implying how proud and narcissistic he is.

And what’s worst is that, for some, its perfectly alright for them to share their achievements as long as you’re not doing better than them. Else you’re just trying to show off or downplay their achievements.

Like during Raya, this auntie was telling everyone how her son just graduated Higher Nitec and sharing her son’s plans after. She went on for about 10 mins on how proud she is and how her hardworking sons’ effort paid off. She then went on to ask this other lady,”Your daughter eh? How? Still in ITE?” and she was like “Nope this year starting uni at NTU” and her proud face changed immediately after. She then switched topics and never touched on the education bit. And when the family left, she told us “Woah so arrogant just wanna tell people her daughter in university so action for what”

And I’m like ???? you asked, people answered and suddenly she is arrogant?

Why do you think we are this way?

Here are what netizens think:

• It is also common for spouses to be competitive and get jealous of each other’s achievements. No one talks about these, but power struggle in marriages are a thing. Thus stem gaslighting and abuse.

• Reason I said so is because we have this colleague at work who think she is well loved and all that, but when she isn’t around, that’s when she becomes the talking point of the workplace. Granted she always boasts about her past job experiences, how she was earning 15k before joining this job which pays her 4k, how every decision is backed by “I have years of experience and you don’t” . No one said anything but “Woahh good job”-

• I always congrats people when they talk about their achievements, but after they hear about how I earn less than them it become a “Why you not ambitious/ Havent grow up and learn anything” etc etc and it becomes just a session about talking down to me because Im worse off than them.

Had a conversation with an older colleague today over lunch. He is 65, and about to retire by the end of this year. He told us:

“At this age, you’ll realize life actually has got no meaning. Like what’s life? You wake up, go to work get yelled at by your boss and tolerate colleagues, earn enough to pay bills and support your family, and once or twice a year, you go overseas for a short burst of happiness. You come back and then everything is back to normal. Some of you are stressed about buying a house, some want to buy a nice car, some of you are stressed about marriage wondering if you have enough money to bring up your kid, and some of you work so so hard till never eat lunch and then fall sick. You add so much burden and kept adding and adding till you feel heavy every month. And at the end of the day, you realize your entire life was spent chasing something. You add so much burden to yourself that you didn’t get to fully enjoy life. And when you reach 65, it’s too late, your entire life just went by and you have missed it.”

And funny enough, a few of us can already relate to his statements at the age of 25-35. The mundane way of living has become the default standard. The more we earn, the more we feel burdened. We look forward to our salary, only to see it down by half the very next hour after paying for our expenses and bills. We work our butts off, chase for that promotion, getting by with minimal hours of sleep. Weekends / off days are literally for you to sleep at home to prepare for the arduous week ahead. Yes, people always argue that we should “not compare and be thankful” or the redditor’s favorite line “i just don’t compare lol” but saying that is as easy as saying “bro, it’s okay one” to someone after the passing of his loved ones. It’s not the same. Ans especially in Singapore when everything is so fast-paced, and people are always challenging and ousting one another, it can truly wear down someone. Recently heard about an ex-schoolmate who committed suicide because he felt as tho didn’t do his job well as a father and it made me realize how fragile life truly is.

So folks, what’s the meaning of life to you and how do you find meaning in life?

Edit: Seems like this post blew up and made it to WakeupSingapore and with exposure comes varying experiences and insights. Thanks to those who positively contributed to this thread. All I can say is to be civil and do not negate the experiences of others. You might be the lucky enlightened few who found joy in everything but there are always people around you who felt otherwise. And seeing how some people negate such experiences is exactly the reason why some Singaporeans are afraid of speaking up about their struggles. Only when an anonymous platform is presented will the stories start flowing in. That instead of reaching out we continue to trample on them by saying they’re too emotional and weak and “to be more grateful about life lolz”. Look behind the smiles of those closest to you, they might be quietly suffering without you realising. Take a step by asking them how’s their day, you’d be surprised.

Anyway, life is what you make of it; the good and the bad. When you look back at life and when you share stories to your grandchildren next time, I hope your stories will be filled with nothing but smiles and laughter

I need to get this off my chest, I’m having a tough day guys. I’m 30 years old and I’ve got nothing to show for it. I still live with my emotionally toxic family, have no romantic partners, no children, no house, hardly any money, no education. On most days, I don’t think about these things and I just put my head down and move on with my life. I have been suffering from depression for decades and I am receiving help for it. But today was a difficult day.

I ran into one of my friends from secondary school. We spent some time catching up and by the end of it, I wanted to cry. See, I was okay at one point in my life. I was doing well at school and was at the top of many of my classes before depression hit its peak and crushed me completely. Today, my former classmates are doctors, lawyers, IT professionals, teachers, and investment bankers. Some are even married with children. I was from a SAP school, nearly all my schoolmates are successful. Whereas I dropped out of school, have a dead-end job that barely pays, and don’t seem to have much of a future. My highest education level is O levels. I’ve tried going back to school many times but would drop out each time due to the mental health issues that were unfortunately debilitating for me. I’ve not stopped though, I will be doing my A levels in 2023 once I’ve saved enough money to enrol somewhere. Yet it all feels utterly pathetic and it feels like my life has been a massive failure. I will be a 32 year old doing A levels.

Comparison is the thief of joy, one of the first few things I did almost a decade ago was actually deleting all my social media . I lost touch with most of my friends from school and didn’t know how any of them were doing. Every now and then I would receive updates from the few people I was in touch with but I would try to keep my head up and not let it bring me down. I’m happy for all these people, they are good people. It’s not their success that is bringing me down, it’s my own failure, and the magnitude of my failure which becomes so clear once I compare myself to my peers, that’s crushing me. I don’t know how my life ended up here.

For years, I believed that things would work out for me. I believed that it’s not my timeline but God’s timeline, I would tell myself that I can’t follow the timeline of the world. There are so much uncertainty in the world, someone could have all the success in the world and die tomorrow. I had this almost delusional optimism that things would be okay, I believed that God had a plan. Today, I find myself in tears, thinking that there is probably no God. There is no plan. I’m alone. By telling myself that it was going to be okay, I was just consoling myself. The reality is that I got left behind in life, my life will never be the same as my peers’. I have to make peace with that. There is also a chance that I may never be okay. I may never recover from my depression either.

CNY every year, it’s the same questions from my relatives. Everyone is disappointed and ashamed of me. My life has been a failure to them. I don’t blame them for seeing it that way. I used to tell myself that it’ll be okay someday. I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t see myself recovering, leaving my family, having a family of my own, successfully get into uni, having a better job. I don’t see any of it happening. Depression might be clouding my view or maybe this is the reality.

I just needed to tell someone this, thank you for reading. Tomorrow will be a better day, but today, I just need to lick my wounds.

I guess this gonna be long. I dated a guy from an online platform last year and I broke up with him recently. Things were okay at first but it was a roller coaster ride throughout after that.

The first couple of dates did not show the red flags until we were officially together. He does not have saving habits and cannot manage his own finance properly. I tried my best to find the methods that best suit him to save but he keep strongly rejecting the ideas and said it does not work on him as he know himself the best.

Soon I also found out he likes to gamble on frequent basis. At that time, it was soccer. But so long you gamble within your means / moderately for a bit entertainment, it is okay right? No, he plays big when he has the feels. There was one soccer match that he had “feels” for it and decided to bet a few thousands. Guess what? He lost all. His pay wasn’t a lot too and he’s in the force.

Later on he went on debts for several reasons, end up with no savings. He had to borrow from his parents to clear his debts. But when he already has debts and yet he still play mj and play quite big? To the extent where he will find strangers to play with. When i found out, i confronted him and he claimed playing mj is form of relaxation, to destress himself from all the problems he had. I initiated break up. Knowing he messed up, he asked for a second chance to prove himself. So I did. He did stop on the soccer bets and mj for a while.

It didn’t last long until we went overseas trip together this year and he gambled at the casino and lost more than sgd 5k. I wasnt with him that time and i get to know after. When i asked if he knew his current situation and why will he still want play so much? Like he didn’t think of the consequences beforehand and losing this amount was seem okay to him? He told me he didnt think of anything else atm and likes the thrills when playing. Same goes to arcade like tz, cpcm, he can spend quite a lot that you cannot imagine in one day.

Again, borrowed money from parents to pay off his loss in gambling plus with his ongoing debts. At that time, knowing he in real deep shit, he cried and said he will change for better for real this time. Giving a benefit of doubt that he will change for the better this time, i stayed to go thru the tough times with him. But then again, how foolish of me to think he will change since leopard cannot change its spots? I was constantly thinking about the future. What if I’m together with him with kids, how am i suppose to take in and live with gambling and other stuffs?

The parents are very nice people and treat me well. The mum knows his pattern very well, told him to tell me not to waste my time with him with his situations like that. I really feel heartache and pity for his parents. I guess no parents want their children to be like that right but sadly they have to deal with it? He’s a freaking working adult.

We also had quarrels on other things as well during this rs due to different communication styles and mindsets. I also found out he is manipulative and being double standards. His thinking is immature and living in his own bubble. Sometimes we happened to quarrel during his work time, he would threaten me that he’s at work or else he will do stupid things. Hence, I will have to give in.

He once told me, he sought for drinking and gambling to release out every time we quarrel. That’s also I know it’s the end for us. He can choose other forms of coping mechanisms eg: exercise but he choose those. Even the partner isn’t me, and he quarrels with his future partner, he will still choose his poisons as his coping mechanisms.

There’s a lot more things also contribute and to consider, hence we decided to break up amicably for good.

After we broke up, I do feel relieved as I think I wasn’t really happy in the rs at all, even there were happy moments. Certain times, I was stressed out because of the rs. Thinking back, I think i was in my lowest point and I was never really happy. My friends can sense I wasn’t happy and stressed out often. Right now, I feel like I’m at a better place, finding peace and giving some self love I have never given myself before. I cared other people that I forget to care for myself.

1 month after we broke up, he found a new girl, should be online platform as well. Well, quite expected as it seemed he did the same to me previously. And probably he scared being lonely and wanting to fill up his emptiness or that’s his coping mechanism. He broke up with his previous ex that time and a few months in found me. Also, He has a quite a number of exes before me.

They seems to be on honeymoon period and with that I think the girl have yet to find all these red flags and truth from him.

I’m wishing the new girl good luck and all the best until she found out all the red flags and debts. Unless he hides it very well from her and no intentions to tell her? But I also feel like telling the new girl about his red flags so she won’t get hurt eventually. Should I tell her, or ignore and let it be?

In today’s rapidly evolving digital landscape, the concept of traditional employment is undergoing a transformative shift. With the rise of freelancing, individuals now have unprecedented opportunities to create their own paths, set their own schedules, and achieve financial independence without the constraints of a typical 9-to-5 job.

One such individual who has successfully harnessed the power of freelancing is a self-made entrepreneur who has managed to carve out a thriving career from the comfort of his own home.

Routine

My daily routine as a freelance copywriter: (Working overseas w/ a 16-month old baby)

7am: Play with baby / greet the nanny
10am: Wake up / play with baby / make coffee 10:30am: Morning catch-up / reply to LI comments 11:00am: Journal
11:30am: Meditate
11:45am: Write
1:00pm: Lunch
2:00pm: Write
4:00pm: Hit the gym
5:00pm: Family time
8:30pm: Put baby to sleep
9:00pm: Start work shift (it’s 9:00am EST)
9:30pm: Post on LI / comment / engage / DM
10:00pm: Get on a client call / message team members 11:00pm-lam: Research copywriting projects / pitch ideas
3am: Go soothe crying baby

TOTAL TIME –
MIND: 45 minutes
BODY:1 hour
BUSINESS: 5 hours, 30 minutes
ELATIONSHIPS: 4 hours

Life can feel chaotic at times. But it’s important to make time for what matters.

Here are what netizens think:

• Um the nanny is just creating longevity to her employment by pulling in her employer and getting a baby. Now she’s live in nanny

• Greet the baby / play with nanny

• When does Nanny leave? Or is that what he calls his wife?

• Honestly I kind of like looking into weird schedules it just seems interesting to gain insight into certain peoples lives.

• I don’t know if I’d say no one should be working 40 hours a week. I clock out pretty strictly at 40 (though there are exceptions on certain weeks depending on projects), but I find I do productive things for most if not all of the time I work. Obviously there are days where I wish I could get more done, or meetings where I think “okay, this could have been an email,” but those are pretty rare. I agree that a lot of jobs and industries expect 40 hours, week-in and week-out, when they don’t need to, though. 40 hours a week being just the automatic default is silly.

 I love my boyfriend and we have been together for more than two years now.

But lately, I have been feeling like he is not expressing his love for me enough. I know that I should not be materialistic, but I want him to show me he really loves me by buying me a Rolex.

It’s something that I have always wanted, but I don’t want to come off as too demanding or pushy. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like he has to buy me something. So, is there a polite way to tell my boyfriend I want him to buy me a Rolex?

The answer to this question is a bit complicated. On the one hand, I understand that it is important to be polite and not make demands. On the other hand, if I don’t express my desire, I may never get what I want. It’s a difficult position to be in, as I don’t want to come off as too demanding, but I also don’t want to be taken for granted.

Here are what netizens think:

• My first suggestion is to start by letting your boyfriend know how much you appreciate him and all that he does for you. A simple “thank you” or a hug can go a long way in showing him that you care. This can help to open up the conversation and make it easier to bring up the topic of a Rolex. The next step is to explain to him why you want a Rolex. Explain to him that it’s something that you’ve always wanted and how much it would mean to you if he was able to get it for you. This is important, as it will show him that you are not just asking for a gift out of the blue, but that you actually have a reason for wanting something so special.

• I would suggest that you propose a reasonable price for the Rolex. This will show him that you’re not expecting something that is way out of his budget. It will also show that you are willing to be reasonable and compromise.

• No matter what you say or do you will sound like a gold digger.