Ok I’ll be upfront and say, for privacy purposes I have to unfortunately be very vague on a lot of details to protect the victim’s identity. But I am really quite clueless how to proceed further. To be fair, I might get over it eventually but right now I’m very pissed.

So I’ve been dating this girl who got drunk and one thing led to another and she ended up revealing that she was a victim of SA by different perpetrators. The first was her internship supervisor who apparently just full on attacke,’ her in his car on the pretext of sending her home after work.

The second, even more unforgivable one, was a goddamn relative when they were alone in his house. Worse still, both bastards are still alive and well, never persecuted. Why, you may ask? Well, sadly she was just a clueless teenager at that point in time so she didn’t know what to do and her family is super conservative so she was afraid to tell them.

She also feared that if she reported either the intern supervisor or the relative, then the whole family would suffer from the fallout. So, she never reported either incident to the police. Worse part, these incidents happened more than ten years ago.

Anyway, she naturally was crying and begging me not to think less of her, which pissed me off even more. I’m just so upset that she went through this shit and felt like she had to suffer in silence. And of course I wish I could do something about it. But common sense tells me:

One, it was so long ago, and two, no report was made. So I’m guessing that really, there’s not much to prove as it will be her word against theirs. Furthermore, she herself doesn’t want to pursue it. I also thought about it and realised there’s no way to prove this even happened, but I’m just going to take her word for it.
other than beating the shit out of them and going to jail, don’t know what else to do. Can anyone offer some advice?

Tldr, gf was SA by 2 perps very long ago, no reports made, can I do anything about it?

Edit: thank you all for the advice and concern. I wasn’t expecting so many responses. I guess I kind of knew there’s nothing else to do but to be supportive and let her know she is loved. Maybe this whole post was more of me feeling lousy about myself, so thanks for reminding me that it should be about her wellbeing and not me. Best I can do is keep her safe from now onwards and encourage her to seek help if she’s willing. She insists

Other than beating the shit out of them and going to jail, I don’t know what else to do. Can anyone offer some advice?

I know a guy who wasted 3 years going to poly to take a diploma in accounting. He doesn’t understand what is being taught and just pass with c and d grades.

He tried to do accounting jobs but he couldn’t do it. He changed around 20 jobs in 7 years, most of the jobs is because the company did not confirm him during probation as he does not know how to do accounts.

Than he found a admin job with salary 2k. He find the job easy and he likes the manager too. But the company is very stingy and only give the staffs around $50 increment a year.

After he work for 5 years, he found another admin job with salary 3k so he resign.

He work in the job for 1 month and feel stress so he resign. After that he couldn’t find another admin job.

Now he works as a cashier in supermarket earning less than 2k a month.

I ask him does he feel sad that he wasted 3 years to study accounting in poly. He say yes but he comfort himself by saying that during poly, he wanted to work part time but he was very nerd at that time. He didn’t know where to find jobs. He didn’t even know that jobstreet exists.

After graduating from poly, his salary ranges from 1.7k to 2.2k. If he does not have a diploma, the salary at that time is about 1.2k.

He calculated during poly at that time, a part time job pays about $5 a hour. If he works on weekends he can earn about $100 a week. If he works during his school holidays 5 days a week, 1 month he can earn about 1k.

He did a calculation. In the 3 years poly, he lose about 13k salary. He calculated that with the extra salary he gets for about 13 years that he works, he still earn more than the 13k that he loses during his poly time.

This is how he comfort himself.

So whats the lessons from this story that we can learn?

I have been with my GF for about 7 years and everything is starting to become a bit stale. It is a stable type of relationship and I know that its time for me to commit and get a BTO, etc etc. Post-graduation, we also started working at super long hour jobs and hardly see each other except for admin talk about the future.

The thing is, I seriously wondering what is out there and if I have missed out in the ‘testing’ phase of life.

Recently at work, I have gotten to know a few interns that seem to show some interest in getting to know me and they have also invited me to go clubbing/drinks and meet their other friends outside of work.

A few of them have caught my eye and seriously damn tempting to just go for it. They seriously make me feel young again.

Of course, I wouldn’t act on it but I’m just wondering, am I f***ed up to think this way?

Here are what netizens think:

You sure you ain’t the one stale .Anyway, if you can’t be a mature committed man and get through hard times and also know how to spice shit up and make time for someone important besides getting the fun, uhm… stay single and don’t get anyone pregnant

Nope. It’s normal. Sow your seeds before marriage maybe much healthier in the long run for the marriage. Good luck.

It’s normal to think this way. And it would be too idealistic to believe that there is such thing as eternal love. However, marriage is a choice and commitment. It is not solely based on feelings alone. It is your duty to stay committed and put in the effort to keep your relationship alive. Should you not, then you have your answer.

Lai liao lai liao. I think you dont tie yourself down to a r/s la. After a period of time, it will confirm become “stale” one. You be bachelor better. Don’t waste anyone’s time ma.

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 1 year now. We’re the ideal couple from the outside, smart, decent looking and working professionals, but on the inside we are struggling. Although I find her pretty I just can’t get my little brother up and running. And on the other hand, she struggles with the fact that I’m not fully a Christian. I’m open to going to church and have been doing so, but I just don’t dedicate my thoughts and lifestyle around the church and it’s teachings.

We recently decided on a break up because of the above reasons. Can I seek the collective wisdom of the crowd especially those who’ve faced similar issues how you overcame them, or is breaking up the logical move here?

Here are what netizens think:

• Once religion is involved deeply, just leave. It is hard to predict the future and the number of times u will argue over it. Worse will be when u hv children. Wife demands they are christian, and u want children to have their own choices.

• Almost a year isn’t that long tbh. If you don’t feel that she is the one for you in the long run, it’s time to stop wasting each other’s time and cut losses and move on. Might be that you are not ready for commitment yet. And as for religion, it’s deeply personal and nobody should be forced into something only for the sake of the relationship. Usually it never works out.

• I really wonder what goes into the decision making of youngsters before they decide to go on a relationship? Is it just purely ‘I like you and you like me so let’s be together’? Because these issues are on the surface and should have been addressed right at the start! Guy should have realised he couldn’t get it up around her and girl should know he isn’t christian enough for her even before getting together. Why only after a year and a break up to do so? Unnecessary headache.

Living and working in Singapore is a dream for many foreign workers seeking better opportunities.

However, a concerning issue has arisen involving foreign workers who are illegally subletting their Housing and Development Board (HDB) flats to fellow foreigners for a quick profit.

Understanding the Issue of Foreign Workers in Singapore

Singapore has long been a hub for foreign workers seeking employment in various sectors, contributing to the nation’s economic growth. While the majority of these individuals adhere to the rules and regulations, a small fraction engage in activities that are against the law, such as illegal subletting of their HDB flats.

Illegal Subletting and Its Impact on the Housing Market

Illegal subletting refers to the act of renting out one’s HDB flat without obtaining proper authorization from the relevant authorities. This practice not only violates housing regulations but also disrupts the housing market equilibrium.

The increasing number of sublet units can strain the availability of affordable housing for Singaporean citizens, exacerbating the already existing challenges.

The Quick Profit Motive Behind Subletting

The allure of making quick profits often motivates foreign workers to engage in illegal subletting. Renting out spare rooms or even the entire flat at inflated prices allows them to earn additional income, but at the expense of those in need of affordable housing. This exploitative behavior can lead to overcrowding, unsanitary living conditions, and potential safety hazards for the tenants.

The Legal Implications of Subletting by Foreign Workers

Subletting without proper authorization is a breach of the law in Singapore. The HDB flat owners who engage in such activities can face severe penalties, including fines, imprisonment, or both. Additionally, their eligibility for future public housing benefits may be compromised. Foreign workers involved in illegal subletting can also face deportation, impacting their future employability in Singapore.

Would like to clarify that yes, I am definitely able to buy my own Gucci bags, even Chanel, LV, Rolex and whatever.

But the point is, isn’t it much more practical to get the Gucci bag for proposal instead of a stupid bling (which he mentioned would be expensive but didn’t state the exact value), since I personally do not have a liking for diamonds.

I don’t need to have an expensive ring for proposal. So what’s the point of him buying me an expensive ring for me (which I will seldom wear)? And I will have to spend another $2k on the bag when he could have just gotten me the bag and maybe a ring for proposal that cost less than a thousand? Isn’t it much more cost saving?

What makes me rage the most is that, it doesn’t seem as though he is really saving for an “expensive ring” if he can turn down such a good deal of spending only $3k for a proposal.

As for myself, I don’t mind spending on the one I love, and I have bought him gifts like Sperry shoes, Fred Perry Polo tees etc on occasions. And my birthday? A small cake from him. Split hotel cost for staycation. I have mentioned that I understand he is a little stingy when it comes to money, and we have fought a few times over financial issues. Currently, we are also splitting on our dates even though he let me pay a little less. We have also come too far at this stage to breakup over our character differences, afterall we have already applied for flat 2 years back.

I just felt that his reply was a red flag and I highly doubt he’s really saving for expensive ring like he claimed.

We made an agreement to post this matter on this platform to see how the public will react to our different POVs. But ohwell, seems like most of the people think that choosing a cost saving method is wrong and my bf should dump me. So I guess I will be buying my own bag and wearing that “expensive” bling from him which I will be throwing aside after a few months of wearing it. Haha.

Hope everyone is doing well !

I just have some thoughts about the future and hope to gain some advice. Currently left 2yrs of uni and as an only child (F) with parents age in the 60s range, i cant seem to stop thinking what will happen in the near future. I am very fortunate that my parents have planned out their retirements and are financially independent to be prepared for their old age.

However, it seems far-fetched but i cant seem to be able to understand how i am going to be carry out my duties as their only daughter when one of them passes. In recent years i could see how their health is deteriorating, despite their healthy lifestyle and along with my grandparents passing on, just the thought of one of them not being present is really terrifying and i don’t think I will ever be ready to be emotionally supporting either of them. How does typical praying rituals goes, how will we proceed on in our life, all these concerns seems to be really distant but yet it always lingers whenever i see an elderly, funeral proceedings, even a child. I just can seem to get these thoughts away or to feel reassured. Do i go and see a therapist? Talk to my parents? Friends? I have no idea and it does seems unfilial to carry out conversations and thoughts like this when my parents are clearly still present.

I would like to apologise in advance to those whom lost their loved ones way earlier in life and i hope that what i have mentioned does not too sound to condescending, it is truly not my intention.

Here are what netizens think:

• Your parents definitely have planned for themselves, why do you have to worry for nothing. Like me in my 60s, single, I planned for myself. I went for both knees replacement by myself and take care of myself. Everything is possible if you are prepared, but of course there are things happen beyond your control so if it happened, I will look for options and work on the best workable optio.. this is life

• No one can give you practical advice here because this sort of thing is something you have to wing your way through. Speaking from personal experience here. The only real admin issue you need to get them to settle before they conk is getting them to draw up wills. Do it asap.

• Not sure how your parents are like, but you might be surprised. It might be your remaining parent supporting you rather than you supporting them. Speaking from experience.

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