My ex-bf has repeatedly threatened to hurt and kill me and my family since our breakup last year.

I’ve severed contact with him, but he keeps sending me emails acting as if nothing has happened.

I feel deeply disturbed and scared when I receive his emails, I couldn’t concentrate on my work and studies. I need to read his emails as I need to know what he might do next and be prepared when he decides to carry out his threats. His capacity to follow through on these threats leaves me constantly anxious, even in my own home. I’ve made a police report and consulted a psychologist. Their suggestion was to apply for a protection order, but I think it’s very likely to escalate the situation or might trigger him to act. I still hold onto hopes that he will eventually stop harassing me as time passes.

He’s a Singapore PR and is currently working in another country, I genuinely hope that he doesn’t decide to return to Singapore, or if he does, stay away from me.

Here are what netizens think:

• Please do the people of Singapore a favour and report this to ICA. They are able to revoke permanent residency status. He looks threatening.

• A protection order is your best option. He can escalate after the protection order if he wants. He has to be mindful that if he is charged for violating the order, he is going to lose his PR and be deported. Either he stops his nonsense, or he is kicked out of the country. Either way, he won’t be able to harass you anymore.

• Get a PPO and report him to police . And get his PR status being revoked

Grab refuses to refund me

Has anyone ever experienced this? I booked a ride in advance 2 weeks ago and they charged me the upper bound of $34.80.

The actual ride was $22.50 which I was charged again separately. So I paid twice for 1 ride. The same thing happened when I booked a metered taxi, was charged an upper bound of $24.60 and then another $20.40 which was the actual cost.

I thought they would refund me the upper bound amounts but it’s been more than 2 weeks and I haven’t received anything, so I contacted Grab.

I’ve spent hours trying to explain the situation to them but they don’t bother reading and all give me the exact same response: they will only refund me the difference between the upper bound and actual cost. (Which I didn’t even receive either)

Has anyone else had the same issue? Did you manage to get a full refund? I really don’t know what to do because it’s $59.40 in total which is not a small amount for me (I’m only a student).

I already tried contacting my bank but they said the issue is with Grab and they can’t do anything. I emailed Grab too and I’m waiting for a reply. Is there anything else I can do? Thank you

I don’t understand why they have to charge twice then take so long to refund

Both charges were posted. The upper bound ones show “pending” but the amount has been deducted. I asked my bank and they said it’s because Grab hasn’t approved the payment but also hasn’t cancelled it

Netizens’ comments

1. They pointed me to their TnCs for the pending charge, can hold for weeks
2. The money is actually pending and on hold until the merchant has accepted the transaction, only after that then they can proceed with the refund and so on and so forth.

My parents want to know where and whom I’m going out with

I just want to know if it’s normal that me in my twenties is getting questioned by my parents when I’m going out.

They want to know about who I’m going out with(their gender, relationship with me etc), where I’m going, time I’m coming back.

They get mad when I don’t let them know I’m going out even tho I have told them via mouth before hand and insist I send a message in a “home sweet home” WhatsApp group.

I get pretty uncomfortable about being questioned all the time even tho I have nothing to hide, however I find it difficult to speak up about it since parents will just pull out the “you are my child” card or just simply overpowering me with their identity of a parent.

how old do I need to be to be able to get my own house?

As a student still studying I work on weekends and school holiday but still less than $20k now that I’m 21, I feel uncomfortable when requiring them to pay for my uni fees which is about 6k per term but I don’t rly see a way around it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Sia lah when I go out I just tell my parents “bye” then they just “k”.
2. for me its the same but my parents will usually take note when i inform them im going out, so that part idk how to help u with. maybe just track back ur message from the whatsapp group as proof that u weren’t lying?
   as for wanting to know what u are up to how i see it is it’s just for consolation on their part. they wanna know where u are to be more certain that u are safe. who knows if anything happens also they’ll be able to find u from ur location and people u were last with. and ofc sg is very safe and all, but there’s always a small possibility.
3. I think this kind of scenario is not that uncommon here. My own parents don’t do that anymore, but they used to tell me stuff like don’t come back so late etc until I was around 22-23 years old.
   My partners parents still do this even tho he’s nearing 30. Like they will ask where he’s going, who he’s going out with, what time he’s coming home, why everyday come back so late (to them 8pm is considered late). Sometimes they will call him mid afternoon and ask him to drop everything immediately and rush home to buy dinner for them.
   A lot of it seems to be the filial piety culture that is embedded into most Singaporean families and parents feel their kids are indebted to them just because they brought them up. Then there’s also the whole “my house my rules” thing so parents feel they have the right to intrude on your privacy as long as you are staying in their house.

I’m (24f) and I’m pregnant in my first trimester. My bf (27m) and I have been dating for a year and half and this morning I went through his old phone that just got disconnected while he was at work and found texts of him going to a happy ending massage parlor.

This is after he spent a couple days with my family this week, we saw an ultrasound of the fetus, and have been talking about being a family and having a kid together for more than a month.

I just got STD tested a couple months ago and I was negative of everything, but now I am freaking out about having something new because I’ve been intimate with him since I found out I was pregnant and also after he supposedly went to the massage parlor……

He is very narcissistic, manipulative, controlling and he has put his hands on me a few times. He gets livid if I spend just five extra minutes at work and has called me up to 100 times before if I don’t answer the phone.

He questions who I’m trying to impress when I’m wearing makeup and going out. He does not go one day without accusing me of doing something.

This morning on his phone I also saw messages of SEVERAL other women he’s talked to since we started dating and has offered a hotel room to meet them in.

I have tried breaking up with him while and before I was pregnant and he doesn’t let me. He has threatened to hurt himself if I left him.

Netizens’ comments

1. What i would do is immediately separate your finances from his. Plan my escape.
2. Get an exit strategy together and stay gone. Can’t offer legal advice, but would tell you to RUN! You’re in a forest of red flags
3. You are possibly in danger. Please don’t make light of this. Please, please, please take action to protect yourself. But be very careful.

Is it normal to get roasted badly for your first driving lesson

Basically went for my first private driving lesson. First thing i told the uncle i am extremely new to car noob until cannot noob alr.

Uncle straight drove me to a busy road and tell me to start driving. Got roasted for everything during the lesson.

For eg, holding steering wheel too hard, switch the signal lever to the wrong side, accidentally braking too hard and braking while turning cos got pple walking.

To make things worse, i could barely understand the uncle’s chinese, i only know i was being roasted the whole time for not knowing anything.

Honestly not affected emotionally by it or anything but damm legit dint expect it.

TLDR: got roasted badly for my first driving lesson dk if it is normal for everyone

Update: Did a background research on my PDI, reviews say he doesent even deserve a 1 star rating

Netizens’ comments

1. Doesn’t really matter, the fact that you have trouble understanding his instructions is a red flag (safety issues) so please find another instructor.
2. Better to change instructor. You need to be able to understand your instructor well, and have some decent rapport with each other, to learn well. It doesn’t seem like either of this is going to happen..
3. Even by PDI standards, it sounds pretty bad. My first lesson was on a closed road, with the majority of the class being acquainted with the basic stuff like indicators, mirrors and handbrakes
   Only on lesson 3 or 4 was I allowed on the roads. Your PDI seems to not only be putting you at risk, but also other road users by getting you to drive on busy roads in the first lesson.
4. Got roasted exactly the same style, half way through, I was pissed. Stop at road side, fired the uncle on the spot. Found another nicer one. Some of these old uncles are POS.

My colleague recently resigned and he tell me his epic story.

Gm: our promotion exercise is coming in april. I have intention to promote you.

Colleague: i work in this company for 10 years. My starting salary is 1.6k. Every year i only get $50 increment. A new staff join do the same job as me straight away get 2.5k salary. You think this is fair to me?

Gm: i don’t know about this as i recently than take over your department.

Colleague: if want to promote me should have done it long ago, not wait till i want to resign. Even if promote me also just give me $100 or $200 increment. I work in this company 10 years already i know your promotion is bs with little increment.

Gm: wah. You go new job also may not be good. If you stay here at least can get a $200 increment when i promote you in april

Colleague: you think i am beggar is it. I leave already is the company’s loss. Now i go drive grab also can easily earn more than 3k a month. I don’t have new job i also want to resign. (Continues nagging about how good he is).

My colleague sounds like he is very proud of himself when he tells me this.

I hear liao arm chio. Just leave, don’t need talk so much crap because nobody will miss you. Go tell your sob story to your wife and mother. We are not interested to hear your sob story. Ppl have been doing grab delivery and earn more than 3k a month, since like what 5 years ago? Now than you want to do grab driver to earn 3k and you still can think you are very smart. 5 years ago you should have already quit and go be grab driver.

Here are what netizens think:

• 200 is too little for a promotion. At least 500-1k at least.

• Bro.. i feel u. I hear liao arm chio. Juz keep to urself. Go tell this sob story to ur wife & mother. We are not interested to hear ur sob story.

• Let him taste his own medicine…see how long he can last….KNN

• No worries Be Happy, GO FOR A COMPANY THST REALLY HAVE BETTER PROPECT

• Drive Grab sua or work Mcdonald also more money.

Bff ended friendship after we went for job interview.

I’ve known my friend for over 10 years. She’s always the smarter one while I was the one who always needed her help in school. She’s also the one who tends to get more attention from boys while I’m an introvert. I guess that’s why we are friends as we are opposites but also similar in other ways. We can get along very well.

We are so close that we talk almost every day and meet at least once a week. After graduation, we found different career paths but still made time to meet and catch up. About a year after we’ve started working she told me her dreams of landing this new job. For quite a while, she did a lot of prep work in order to prepare for the interview so I know how much she wanted to do this.

She’s the type of person who tends to overthink, will never be caught eating alone or would feel insecure being in situations where she has to be doing something alone. Once I waited for her for over 30 mins in a restaurant because she had arrived but feels too embarrassed to go in, walk around and look for me despite knowing I’m already there. She just stood outside and waited for me to come out and get her which I did.

She also tends to whine about trivial things that no one notices. Like her armpits are darker (which I’ve never noticed) and she’s so self conscious to not wear sleeveless even though it’s a hot day. She would start whining about her feet color tone is not even (left feet darker than right etc) and worry if anyone noticed. (I don’t see any difference either)

So she found out about a job opening for her dream job asked me to accompany her to attend the interview. I agreed since I also wasn’t really excited in my current working conditions.

We signed up and got called back a few times. The thought of working in the same company with my bff really does sit well with me. We even talked about going shopping together to get some stuff needed for the job.

I was pretty sure we stood a good chance as we were called back a few times. But things didn’t go as planned. The day when the results were announced, my friend didn’t get the job while I did. Needless to say, she was disappointed. I also sensed she wasn’t happy for me. Being friends for so long, I can gauge what’s on her mind. I sort of feel guilty for ‘snatching her job’. But I’m not willing to forgo my application as it pays much more than my previous job. I encouraged her to try applying again as there’s a good demand in the industry. In the end she revealed that she has a medical condition so its likely she will not get in no matter which company she apply for.

Sensing her emotions, I try to avoid mentioning anything that may upset her. She knew I was undergoing training when I was unable to meet her. I also avoided posting on social media in relation to changing jobs. It’s like we have a big white elephant in the room since. I felt our friendship changed. She start to not reply to my texts. She never asked about me. I’m always the one initiating contact. She start to postpone or cancel our meet ups. The final straw was when she cancelled on me 30 mins before our appointment and never followed up. She said her dad had a medical emergency but when I checked in on her about her dad days and weeks later she never replied me. I soon found out from her sister it wasn’t true.

I chose not to confront her and left her alone. As much as I feel bad for her, I feel anger too. No I do not expect her to ignore her feelings. I do not expect her to be happy for me. I just find it sad that our decade old friendship is lost just like that. So I’m only her friend until she starts to feel threatened or felt that I’ve progressed more than her? I was never in competition with her. We don’t even like the same type of guys. There could be other issues that she has with me that I don’t know about. I guess I will never know.

Then I guess we were never truly friends from the beginning….

Hey guys.

I am single and i will be meeting a girl from dating apps soon.

The thing is i found out she is my friend’s wife. When i start talking with her, i feel that her photos are very familar. Than i realise she is my friend’s wife – base on what she tell me such as her job, age, hobbies etc. I also went to my friend’s facebook which i saw him and her photos together, i confirm is her.

The thing is she did not tell me she is marry and say she is single. She did not recognise me as i only meet her once which is at their wedding.

She invited me to meet at her house. I also realise the day that i will be meeting her is when my friend will not be in as he is going for in camp 2 weeks reservaists.

What should i do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Read what you wrote and if this was your wife how would u feel. Dont go !! sorry why break up a msrriage and that being yr friend .??? Sure u will find someone else !! Seriously dont u get it !!! Just a sad human ! No other words !!!

• I thought you got your wife’s twin sister pregnant? So not with either sister anymore?

• If u still went there ..u no different than her ..pls stop if this real ..gv ur friend some signal. Don’t be so desperate like u cannot find other single lady. Y u must entertain someone wife? Ur own friend some more

• Please don’t ruin their marriage , you can always find other woman ..this is their family problem , better you don’t get into the picture .

• Hmm.. From all your previous post, it seems that you love the attention of others and most likely all stories are made up. My friend this, my friend that. I guess you are lonely and by making imaginary stories you can finally receive the attention that u seek.

• Don’t entertain her since u now knew she was married and was your friend’s wife. Simple as that!