A while ago, I reconnected with my first gf whom I dated in uni, A. The problem is that we are married to someone else and we have kids.

I am married to the woman I cheated with when I was dating her in uni. She is married to a man, who is fairly successful. Our relationship when we were younger was doomed. It was toxic, hurting and addictive.

A was beautiful and insecure. A little psycho and exciting. I broke up with her as it got too much.

I have been keeping tracks on her on Facebook and Instagram.

She got married and lived a typical Singaporean family life- busy with kids, husband and work. I am surprised that she could lead this sort of ‘boring’ life. Despite the years and child births, she became more beautiful in my eyes. Maybe she looks more confident. I intentionally got in touch with her and one thing led to another. I look forward to seeing her all the time. Everytime we meet, it is just hot. Just like we were younger, but better. It is not just the S but everything about her is intoxicating. Her smile, her laughter, her voice.

I realised that I love her after all these years and changed circumstances. She told me that she will never leave her husband. She said what we have now are just infatuation and a mistake. She said she did all these with me to get revenge on my wife and that she does not love me at all. She says to just let go before the kids get hurt. I am getting mixed signals from her words and body language.

Yes, I will let you go, A. You always did things your way.

Here are what netizens think:

• She has grown up and be more matured over the years, probably because of the lesson you taught her back then.How about you? Still made the same mistake of cheating? And this time is even worse bec you are married and have kids.What if your wife finds out? And your ex doesn’t leave her husband. You will lose the family and your wife. Nothing left for you.Come to your senses…cut tie with your ex, no matter how good sex or feeling can be. Go to your wife and be nice to her even more. Grow up and be more mature too. Playing cheating is childish and irresponsible. Be a good role model for your children. Take care

• Other people’s wife look hotter over the years because they were loved and well taken care of by their husbands. Please shower your wife with more love and attention. You are clearly thinking with the head in your nether region.

• This story sounds similar to a tamil movie titled 96. But of course, you couldn’t respect both women and cheated both times unlike the hero in the movie. So your movie title should change to 69

• “The problem is that we are married to someone else…”Dude the problem is NOT the marriage but the fact you can’t keep your pants on

So my sister is BI and sometimes we sit and talk about releatiobships.

She is single and i have a girlfriend I’ve been with for 1 year now. When we were having one of these talks about just relationship stuff she brought up my girlfriend and said she wished that my girlfriend was bi too.

I just smiled and thought of it as a compliment and dint think anything of it. Sometime after that we went too a coffeeshop me my girlfriend and my sister.

My sister started complimenting my girlfriend and saying too me that my girlfriend was going too turn bi if i dint treat her right. I just found this odd i just thought too myself «wt.. is she talking about» i just felt it was really weird behaviour from my sister as she has never done stuff like that.

Some time pass and this keeps happening small jokes about my girlfriend turning les and small «flirting». Sometimes i noticed my sister moving on the couch too sit right up next too my girlfriend.

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Intrusive thoughts and how to cope with them

I am and have been coping with very intrusive thoughts for a very long time now and I’m hoping to find a solution before things escalate out of hands. Unfortunately, therapy is out of question due to reasons I will point out in this post.

I am in my late 20s and come from a rather privileged background – I have been working for my father in an investment firm. While my job is quite stressful, I have several sources of resources that make my life quite manageable. Unfortunately, I was raised in an environment where money, status, and, image matters above everything. To some extent, this upbringing has moulded me to be who I am today – I am not faulting my upbringing completely but it is not entirely faultless.

I live in my own apartment that was paid for by my family when I suggested that living together in the family house was getting to suppressing and I needed my own space. I have a PA that does most of the leg work and procurement of things I need, things I do, and places I go to. I take good care of my health and don’t drink or smoke – much to the chagrin of my pals. I am attached with a girlfriend but she doesn’t seem to bring much joy or purpose in my life, we meet twice a week and do regular couple stuff. She is a little upset that I don’t ask her to move in with me but I have laid the ground rules very early on in our relationship that my private sanctum is absolutely crucial to me. Our sex life is nothing to write home about, I usually go through the motions as I find it void of passion and it doesn’t terribly bring excitement.

What brings excitement and joy to me are my intrusive thoughts and some of which i regularly give in to and act upon. I find extreme pleasure in dominance and deliverance of pain, and I exercise this in the form of paid escorts. There are services that I can do with next to no need of holding back and I can, to put in crudely, do anything I want to these women and men. I am able to slap, choke, and basically deliver pain with consent and my orgasms are extremely gratifying. I am never able to feel such pleasures with my girlfriend and this was my personal brand of heroin for some time.

After a while, it started to wane as I somehow realised that it was staged to some extent and I’m just lying to myself that I am in control. Not long after, I found a new addiction – drawing blood from strangers. I was invited to play football and basketball by an acquaintance of mine – I would normally never partake in such activities as it involved getting physical with commoners( I apologise for this – I was brought up not fraternise with the common folks). However, I need a specific watch which I am unable to purchase and this wankstain guy has it – I needed to entertain him to get him to sell it to me. It was then when I realised I could essentially ‘accidentally’ elbow a guy right in his nose drawing blood! I would simply offer to pay his medical bills which was usually a mere couple of hundreds – bloody amazing!

I had to rotate between different groups of different sports to not draw attention but I am pretty good at it I believe. After doing so, I would meet my girlfriend or an escort and it would be a heavenly sexual experience. It has been my addiction for a while now.

I have other intrusive thoughts such as wondering how would the ‘cocky finance bros who laughably think their Rolexes and Beemers elevate their standing’ would feel if I were to bend them over and brutally destroy them from behind, making them feel like they are being broken in half. At times, I get annoyed by the geriatric employees who seem to be extremely backward in their thinking and traditional beliefs. I have intrusive thoughts that make me wonder if they would expire if I am able to deliver a punch to their sternum.

I am worried that these intrusive thoughts take over me and get me into depths of hell that I will never be able to get out of.

I acknowledge I am addicted to pain and suffering but I know, on some levels, this is not right. How do I address this? If knowledge of visiting a therapist in make known to my family or social circle, my life is essentially over.

I’ve been dating my bf for a year, a few months into the relationship he told me there was a girl obsessed with him for a few years. She was an ex classmate who had a crush on him. Initially he tried to give it a go with her, but it didn’t work out so he ended it. He told me they weren’t bf/gf but he got to 2nd base with her. He told me she didn’t move on since. He told me he rejected her not because of her size. He just didn’t feel any chemistry.

The girl has a pretty face and has no lack of suitors so I believe she must have a pleasant personality. Just that when it comes to my bf, all logic went out the window for her.

She often comes to my bf and tries to make small talk, ask about homework, and often get ignored by my bf. He was rude to her whenever I noticed and I didn’t understand why until later.

Months later, the girl found out about me. He just wanted me to be aware and told me to ignore her and her friends who always stare at me. He also warned her to leave me alone. We are all in the same course.

I trust my bf has nothing with her now. I also believe my bf had wronged her. I caught her glaring at me a few times and I was able to ignore it. He said she will avoid places we hang out because she couldn’t bare to see us together.

Once while I was chatting and laughing with my friends, I looked across the canteen and accidentally had eye contact with her. I looked away and continued to talk to my friends. I totally forgot about her after that. When I left the canteen I thought I caught a glimpse of her glaring at me with angry, red teary eyes, I didn’t think much of it.

A while later I got a call from my bf. My bf said she accused me of laughing and gossiping about her. He already told her off. But he wanted to know if I did laugh at her. I was unhappy he actually believe I would have the time for petty drama. I’m also starting to feel tired and annoyed by this girl’s obsession with him and constant hatred for me. Even her friends glare at me. It’s ridiculous. We have many mutual friends and I get the sense things are awkward because almost everyone knows she’s obsessed with my bf.

When he asked me again if I did laugh at her, I told him off. I also said if he didn’t really like her, he shouldn’t have had the chance to see her topless. Because he gave her a chance, it also resulted in this situation now. It’s not the first time she try to accuse me of doing or saying anything about her. I really feel like telling her off for good but at the same time I also kinda pity her.

Actually from the way my bf describe her, I would never dare to tell her off in case she hurt herself.

What can I do?

i used to work in a Chinese bank a few years ago, before switching over to insurance, and didn’t have a stable income to contribute financially to the household (I am married with a son).

I ended up having to depend on my wife’s $2.2k/month salary.

I’m facing a myriad of problems at work, being relatively new to the insurance industry, finding potential prospects is very tiring, and still trying to arrange meetings.

My wife has been nagging and nagging at me instead of showing me a hint of support and telling me that I’m being selfish.

She says that she barely has enough money for herself and that selling insurance “no future”, asking what if I have no commission forever?

She told me to get a part time job first as I look for a proper job.

I spoke to one of my ex schoolmates from poly who is also one of my insurance prospects, and she told me that every job is the same at the beginning, it is always rough at the start.

I have meetings and trainings almost every other day which is draining mentally, but my wife just keeps scolding me instead of being supporting because “I’m throwing our son” to her.

Insurance really no future meh, I don’t know, but I can’t give up now.

The only reason I’m with my wife is because I started sleeping with her to make her friend jealous

For the longest time, I was madly in love with my wife’s best friend. I wanted to be with her so bad but I never had the guts to make it clear. I’m sure she knew I had feelings for her, but ignored it. I knew she liked the attention I gave her though.

I thought that maybe if she saw that I was interested in someone else, she’d want me to focus on her and give me a chance. So I chose her best friend. I asked her out and she accepted. We started sleeping together and since women talk I figured she’d say something to her friend. She did, but by the time she did, I didn’t care.

I had realized what I had was a fleeting crush. But what I felt for this new woman was love. I thought about her every day, I got nervous to see her, I was scared to call her, I could listen to her talk for hours. I was truly in love with her. I forgot about her friend and was focused on my newly budding relationship with this new woman. Years later I proposed. Now we’re married with a daughter in the way.

I know what I did was scum my but I was young and dumb. I’m just glad I told no one of this as I know this secret is the kinda thing that’ll ruin her confidence and self esteem.

Confession from an insurance agent willing to do anything to hit my sales target

I am an insurance agent who is willing to do anything to meet my sales target, even sleeping with my clients.

Although this is not ethical, but I need it for a living. It works. To people who find it shameless, I can’t stop you from looking down on me.

I have even heard of other methods like even becoming agency’s wife or gf or xiao san to hit sales targets. Not bad.

In this industry, we do what we need to do to be considered a good worker. Others can judge all they want.

Netizens’ comments

• Do continue if you think is ok. No one has the right to judge u. U choose your own path.
• Your mum must be proud. Making full use of the hole she given you, period.
• “although this is not ethical, I need it for a living.”Boy, u must suck terribly at ur day job to feel this way.
• You are just telling people working in that line is another role “prostitute “, or worse a free hooker.
  So you will help me assume that all who work this line are not insurance agent, but a hooker, a destroyer, and a homewrecker.
  Must as well you go stand at the geylang street there to pull clients, even better.

Im 19 and my mom is known for doing insensitive jokes. When my boyfriend is around, she’s always sarcastic and doing jokes that makes me and my boyfriend uncomfortable.

She jokes about me being lazy and not being a good daughter, and makes jokes about my boyfriend’s size (he’s like really tall like 180cm, and im small, like 152cm something, but we’re both really uncomfortable when someone points out our height.)

Defo need some solid advice from you guys especially women!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been together with my gf for 2 years but actually ever since these the beginning of this year, I notice she doesn’t seem to care about the sagging of her asset anymore. She’s a 34E and she definitely needs to wear supportive bra to lift them up, and she has always been doing so until recently.

I noticed she stopped doing that. Every time we went out, she would just wear sports bra or bralette underneath her clothes, yet she still likes wearing tight fitting clothes, and that looks really unpleasant to me and I find it quite disturbing in public but I don’t know how to voice it out to her. Just imagine they’re already sagging at this age, hanging sideways without proper support, how’re they gonna look like after she became older and gave birth?

I know for sure that if I love her, then I shouldn’t mind that, but of course I don’t wish that to happen at this point of her life where she’s just 25, and also the unpleasant stare from people whenever we hang out. It’s just like if men do get bald as they age, but then if I already started balding at this age, and she wants me to do something about it, I’ll surely do something about my hair loss.

Any advice girls?

Here are what netizens think:

• try wear a boxer / underwear with wire which would support ur sagging balls then tell us why it is soo hard ..she is E cup ..u know how much stress it is on the back …and how uncomfortable it is both with padded and wire…those gravity defying boobs u see on TV or media are all either photoshop or help of doctors..tell u lah…u wanna know how uncomfortable padded bras are in our hot weather esp with bigger breast.. u go wrapped polyester socks around ur balls and wear ur underwear… and walk around whole day for 1 month…than come and complain again around this ..

• I suggest you speak to her about it. If its just her preference, *mind your own business*. But if it’s the difficulty of getting a supportive bra, then discuss how you can help. Cuz from personal experience, that size is pretty hard to find and if you ever find one, its bloody expensive. If you’re willing to pay $60-100++ bucks for one bra then go ahead. Uniqlo has very comfortable bras and decent support. The best support would be triumph and wacoal but it’s really expensive.And at this size you’re going to get unpleasant stares no matter what. Just glare back at those uncles.You can also help with massages which help with firming up the muscles.But do not under ANY circumstances. Force her to wear a bra she doesn’t like just because you think it looks unpleasant. It’s really none of your business.

• Walk pass a better bra shop as suggested by other n see suggest to her to go in n you get for her. Understand what she wants, need to buy or as it is now.At times hear guy say about girls stuff, very seldom girls say about guy stuff. Just thinking if she say about you, you going to do whatever she wants too?

• u sponsor her bra…get her triumph. u know her size. just buy them. and also the fashion now is bralette. maybe u can propose to her wear something other than bralette ?big boobs tend to sag. that’s the sacrifice for having big boobs. unless u want to save up for her get plastic surgery for her boobs.And what makes u think that big and perky boobs are real ?

Fiance’s family thinks I’m smelly because of my waitress work

Hello. Just will like to get something off my chest. I need some advice.

I am a lowly educated school dropout girl. My highest education was only secondary 2. I stopped schooling at age 14 as I have no parents for support. It’s very tiring to school and work at the same time. I am an orphan. I am 40 years old this year.

Recently I got engaged to my loving fiance in May. Our wedding will be this year end in October. The day before, I left work and headed for his house straight as it’s his brother’s wedding day. I bathed at my workplace before I went. I am working as a waitress/dishwasher. Just yesterday after the wedding, I overheard my fiance’s sister mentioning to the other family members that i am a very smelly person. She said I smelled like a pot of oil, and a lot of sauces. She said she could smell my sweat of oil from very far away. To my horror, the whole family agreed with her that I smelled.

Tonight they ask me to resign from my work as they won’t be able to take the smell if I moved in with them after I marry ( my fiance and I are waiting for our BTO to finish building). They mentioned that I smelled normal when I am not working and they want me to maintain that.

I felt very hurt deep inside and I cried though out the night. It was the first time I experienced family warmth since I knew them 5 years ago, I really want them to accept me. I can’t enter into classy jobs like administrator or engineers, those so called 8-5 or 9-6 jobs as I am lowly educated. I am also deaf in one ear.

My fiance consoled me by saying that why not I quit? He can support me by giving me money weekly. He’s a well to do man and highly educated. He mentioned he didn’t like pple insulting me. He mentioned to tolerate insults for a job, it’s not worth it.

If I resign, I won’t have enough money to save for the wedding, and I am not the type whom wish to be a full time housewife after the wedding and rely on a man everytime. I don’t like the thought of letting my fiance paid for everything, even though he doesn’t mind. He works very hard for his money.

What should I do? It’s not the first time I was being told I am smelly. I was being told to by friends and even strangers. I can’t wear perfume as I am allergic to sweet scents.

Here are what netizens think:

• I consider this post very well written for someone for who did not complete sec school education. The background, situation (problem), dilemma and feelings descriptions are well conveyed and showed the clarity of thought. I had come across degree or master holders who wrote worse.I’m not responding to this post to give advice to your issues specifically.Instead I want to comment that your writing is good. Hope this can at least make your day/weekend.

• It’s great to hear that your fiance is so loving.Can i suggest for you to upgrade yourself? There’s skills future credits. School dropout is not an excuse. Even if you don’t want to go back to school, there are free courses online.There are also alternatives that don’t require credentials if I’m not wrong? Factory work? Retail?Fighting!

• Besides F&B industry, is there any other vocation/industry will you be interested in?If F&B is your passion, then we just need to find a solution to the aroma issue (plenty of advise given above). Ppl can talk all they want and at this age we are already very tired of other ppl BS. Ultimately, ask yourself does the smell bothers you. If it does, then do something abt it.Given your good command of English in this post, I believe you are suitable for many other roles. And being audibly challenged in one ear doesn’t make you less capable of being successful in life. Maybe wearing a hearing aid might help?Don’t quit your job bcos of what ppl say or think. Also don’t let your upbringing/environment/circumstances hinder you from being your best.Step Up and Step Out if the position you are in is not what your heart’s desire.Sit down with your fiance and discuss what is it that you really want to do. Then do up a plan and start moving towards it. It maybe uncomfortable at first but I am sure you will overcome. A lot of towkays also not very highly educated and they are also very successful.