So yeah, we were out drinking last night. She went to bed ~3 am, I stayed up until 4 (had to clean the house) and fell asleep blissfully next to her.

This morning we woke up & things got steamy, but I was noticing a dark residue forming at the base of my bird. I thought she was bleeding but she insisted it didn’t hurt and to keep going. I’m not one to say no, so we fooled around some more until we changed positions and I caught a whiff and looked. Definitely a large unwiped brown stain going from her butt down her leg. I told her she was definitely bleeding and we should stop, then she hopped in the shower to clean off. I noticed a large streak on my sheets and quickly bundled them up and threw them it the washer before she could see.

I’m not sure if she even knows she pang sai herself. Should I just sweep this under the rug and pretend it never happened? She didn’t go overboard with drinking so Im a little concerned this had nothing to do w that but I imagine it would be extremely embarrassing for her.

Both early 20s. I don’t wanna tell my friends about this for obvious reasons. What would you do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Tell her on your death bed

• let her know but re-i force the idea that it was no big deal. i think the biggest issue is that she may be able to get an infection from that though.

• she knows, she had to have noticed in the shower. i am pretty sure she is mortified. i honestly dont think it’s worth a mention unless it becomes a recurring issue.

• You really are a gem of a nice person. You’re handling it maturely and keeping a safe space for you and your partner. Kudos to you

A netizen shared how he is estranged from his family and wants to disown all of them due to many issues while growing up.

Here is the story

Estrangement and disowning family

The Father.

Since young, I never had a good relationship with my father. When I was a kid, he would physically take it out on me – if he had a bad day at work, we would all have an even worse evening at home. He practiced lots of double standards, such as “no reading newspapers during mealtimes, give the newspapers to me!” – and proceed to read the very papers he ordered us to hand over. During my teenage years, I rebelled – got into bad company, smoked, drank, “tonned” (no idea how to spell that local term for staying out overnight), got into fights with my teachers and schoolmates, generally earned a bad rep in school. Because I hit puberty early, I was bigger than him when I was 15 years old, and he was up for a fair fight if he tried to get physical. He then turned to emotionally mistreating me, calling my school and friends whenever we had an argument or quarrel at home. He got my friend’s mobile numbers by looking through my mobile phone when I was asleep – those were the days when Sony Ericsson T610s and K700s were in vogue and phones didn’t have a password unlock function. He did the same thing throughout, even when I landed my first job at an SME, he once called my boss down to my house during a quarrel saying there’s an emergency and he needed help. My boss rushed down to find me in tears and the house in a mess from the fight we had. I was very ashamed. He did the same thing too, to my church leaders – my cell leader was a school teacher, and he once made her stay in our house till 2 in the morning while he regaled her with embarrassing stories of what I did when I was young. I was even more ashamed then.

As such, I have become very reticent to share any personal details of my life to anyone outside other than my closest friends who have watched me grow up and know the kind of person he is. I moved out of their house into my own place 7 years ago, and have never been happier. However, I still have flashbacks and nightmares of his ill treatment, and I often wake up either in cold sweat or screams and tears. I am extremely paranoid about letting anyone in my family know where I work now, for fear of him calling my office to embarrass me again should he be upset with me for whatever reason. Working in an events company, there are times some candid pictures of my colleagues and me ended up on the company’s Fb page, and I get so anxious I immediately call the marketing department to beg them to take down my photo. Whenever we are at roadshows in shopping malls, I can’t stop thinking about one of my family members spotting me in uniform and then telling my father about it. There was once I saw a distant aunt walking towards our booth, and I immediately fled the roadshow even though I was attending to a customer.

I’ve not spoken to him in 11 years, but the mere thought of him makes me repulsed and have nightmares all over again. Once, I went back to their place to get some letters and saw him the moment I walked into the house. I ran in, grabbed my letters, and made a dash for the car. I remember speeding all the way back to my own home, gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. I was filled with an inexplicable rage, and there’s nothing more I wanted to do than to torture and see him die a slow and extremely painful death under my hands.

The Mother.

I’m on cordial terms with my mother, but because she’s his wife, I don’t tell her much about my life – she doesn’t even know where I live nor what I’m working as. I do meet her for meals once every few months, mostly out of obligation and persuasion from her, but seeing her stirs up a quiet resentment in me too – I hate her for never standing up for me when my father got overboard with his torment of me. I hate her for always telling me to “forgive him, he’s your father after all”. I hate her for playing a part in driving a wedge between my brothers and me (more on that later). I hate her for always being extremely calculative and stingy with money – growing up I never had a birthday present because “I already bought you a cake, that’s your present.”. <– (I know this is a very 1st world problem to have, but my parents are loaded: my father is quite a prominent figure in society because of his business affiliations, and my mom is a dentist.) All my CNY angbao money was used to pay for my own school books every year, and if there were a shortfall, she’d lend me the money first, and deduct it from my (already measly) pocket money. I had to save up for my own shoes and uniforms, too.

Then again, I know some people will bash me and say that they had to go through the same, and didn’t make any noise. But it’s different, when you know your parents can afford a $2.20 Pilot Shaker mechanical pencil for your 10th birthday but resolutely refuse to give it to you.

So, while I am on cordial terms with her, I no longer have much affection toward my mum because I’ve held her at more-than-an-arm’s-length for a long period.

The Brother.

My mother practiced cold wars with us a lot when we were growing up – whenever she was angry with us because we did something wrong, she wouldn’t talk to us for a week. As such, my brothers and I picked that up really fast, and we’ve not talked since we were primary 1. Throughout our teenage years, my parents would both tell us to be careful of each other, saying that he was planning to do such-and-such to me, and vice versa, etc. This created a lot of animosity and wariness between the both of us, and we haven’t spoken since. I opine my parents did that to ensure we did not gang up against them perhaps.

Even though we lived in the same house (albeit separate rooms) when we were younger, I am so dislocated from him that I don’t even have his mobile number nor know what stage of life he’s in (poly/uni/working etc.)

I know my family’s dynamics are very weird lol.

—

I’ve been wanting to disown my family for the longest time, so I will finally be free from obligations like meeting my mother, attending CNY reunion dinners and weddings etc. I will also no longer think long and hard about putting my mom’s contact as NOK for emergency purposes. My parents have said before that when I start working they want at least 20% of my salary as a form of gratitude to them for all the money spent raising me up but I completely refuse to, given our very strained relations. I have already changed the nominations in my CPF to people other than them, and have written a will to state that in no event should my family receive a single cent from my estate, but I am afraid that unless I make it publicly known that I have no relations to them anymore, there is a chance they will try to contest the will and CPF nomination. I also want my father to know that he will not have his firstborn at his deathbed or funeral (he’s a buddhist, and apparently there’s some importance of having all of one’s children, especially the eldest son, at the funeral performing the rites). All my life, he’s had the last laugh in all the arguments, quarrels, and fights we’ve had, but I sincerely hope to have the final laugh at the end of (his) day.

I can’t seem to find any information on Singapore law that touches on disownment. Even as a kid I thought a lot about emancipation, but I didn’t have the means to move out and prove that I am capable of providing for myself. Is there any way I can legally and publicly do so? My close friends have advised me against it because I am potentially losing out on my inheritance, but I don’t give a rat’s ass about the fat bank accounts or numerous properties my parents own – I have been completely independent since 16, and have absolutely no interest in living off money that I did not earn myself.

Thank you for reading, and I hope to have some sincere advice here.

…Unfilial Son

P.S.: I have absolutely no interest of reconciliation or going for family therapy/counselling – we have tried it a few times and it was always ended up a spectacular failure.

A man shared how he had a vivid dream about himself drowning, and how it felt so real.

But when he woke up, he saw his drunk friend peeing on his bed right beside his face.

Here is the story:

“You know how in dreams, the things that you dream about is sometimes influenced by the things happening around you.

Like if a leaking aircon was dripping onto you, you would dream that it’s raining or something like that.

I had a dream once where I dreamed that I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe.

it felt damn real and I really thought I was going to die, gasping for air.

But then I woke up and saw my friend peeing on my bed, right beside my pillow where my face is.

The whole room smelled like vomit, alcohol and urine, and I knew this guy was drunk.

We had drank the night before and I was the first to KO.

I think I was dreaming of myself drowning because of his urine hitting me on the bed, cb”

Editor’s note: Please throw away your mattress, or burn it.

Images source: unsplash

Debt with moneylenders who called up my workplace

Hi need some legal advice as I’m caught up with some work issues here.

So my workplace, which has a history of delaying payments to many other workers (not just me) has taken this opportunity to further delay my salary and explictly told me they will not pay me unless I settle the issue with the moneylender.

Is this even legal? How am I supposed to pay the moneylenders when my pay is held up?

Additionally, the HR personnel of my company, whom I tried to liase with to get a direct hold of the payroll in charge has blocked me on WhatsApp when I inquired regarding this said problem.

Could anyone assist me on how to approach this matter and which authorities (spf, mom etc.) I could follow up with!! Thank you so much in advance!

Here are what netizens think:

• Definitely MOM. It’s also possible to go to court if delayed payment is not mentioned in your contract.

• I have heard MOM prioritises late payment of salary cases. Can try bringing up to them.

• You can make a threat to the boss and say that you’ll blow it up on social media or the MOM should they not release your pay.Your pay is yours, your debt is personal. These 2 issues do not intertwine.Go seek help from MOM and they will guide you accordingly. However this will take months of investigation so they may delay your salary even further.I will also encourage you to leave the company ASAP.

• MOM have strict laws on payroll matters. Salary should not be be delayed, more so if the circumstances are external.As for the debt collectors, they should not be calling the workplace, though they do that to apply more pressure, the company should know how to handle it; telling the collectors that they don’t have the right to do so and any more unsolicited calls will be reported to the police.

Ignored how severe my constipation was for 3 weeks and it all caught up with me last night.

I’m sure I (30f) will carry this whole story with me to my grave. I’m usually very open with certain people, but this is just one of those things so grody that I do not want anyone who knows me to have this mental image of me. But I am about to paint it for you all, because I really just want to get this off my chest. Like I still can’t believe this all happened.

If you don’t wanna read gory details about poop, skip my post. No hard feelings.

I’ve been constipated for at least 3 weeks, only pooping small amounts and they were very hard poops. The kind of poops that leave no residue when you wipe. Tbh they were like asteroids – small clumps stuck together to form one bigger clumpy rock. Usually the size of golf balls, maybe a bit bigger but slightly flatter.

I’d tried everything short of an enema… ‘cleansing’ tea (laxative like), stool softeners, mineral oil, lots of water, less fiber, lots of fiber, buttery popcorn, exercise, etc. But nothing was helping much and most things were just upsetting my stomach.

So anyways, onto last night. I was woken up around 2AM with the sudden, painful urge to poop. I sat on the toilet, put my feet on the squatty potty, and leaned forward. I had the trash can in front of me because it felt like one of those poop, puke, or both moments. I got super hot and sweaty so I stripped myself, as one does in these situations. Nothing was coming out. I was so beyond uncomfortable, I seriously considered waking my fiance (30m) to take my to the ER.

I ended up laying on the bathroom floor during a brief reprieve and realized that laying on my left side was helping to get things moving and eased some of the nausea. So I put an old towel in the bathtub and layed down in there on my left side, back pressed against the wall of the tub, the cool porcelain felt very good on my back. I figured if I pooped or puked here it’d be easier to clean up anyways.

I was contorting around to find the best position to push this poop out. I ended up with my left leg flat, bent at the knee, pressed against the opposite wall to my back; my right leg raised, foot pushing on the little soap holder on the wall in the middle of the tub.

I know you’re not supposed to push a lot or strain so much, but was in so much pain that I’d rather just deal with the hemorrhoids later.

So I kept pushing and eventually, I felt a breach! I considered reaching down to just pull it out with my hands, but didn’t want to risk a change of position ruining the moment. I maintained, trying so hard to not lose the pressure between pushes / breaths. Two asteroids plunked out onto the old towel, literally with a clunk. I layed there for a moment to make sure that’s all that was coming out, to catch my breath, and allow the body heat to dissipate some. When it felt safe to do so, I got up and used toilet paper to grab these fist sized asteroid turds and flush them.

Feeling better and rather pleased that I’d discovered a new ‘life hack’, I threw the old towel away, took a quick shower, and went to lay back down. It was about 2:45AM at this point.

At 3AM, the same sudden urge that had woken me up earlier returned with a vengeance. I figured this would be an easier go since I thought those two asteroids were the blockage causing me so much trouble. I was very wrong. I was back on the toilet, nothing on and sweating bullets, doubled over ready to puke into the trash can, wishing to end it all.

I figured the tub trick worked before and laid down another old towel, assumed the same position as before, and tried to breathe through it. After about 20 minutes (not pushing the whole time, obviously), another two asteroids thumped out. There was some relief, but not as much as before. I felt more movement in my bowels and wanted to get back onto the toilet, but didn’t want to risk losing any momentum, so just stayed there. Just a minute or two later and another asteroid thump… I could instantly tell was the last of the blockage, it’s truly amazing how much regret and how many thoughts can flood your mind in one second. Before I could even lift my arm, three ‘normal’ turds blasted out of my butt, instantly followed by a steady stream of diarrhea which realistically lasted about 15 seconds (felt like minutes).

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt a solid 15 seconds of thick, hot diarrhea freely flowing from your body (while you are not on a toilet) and I don’t even know how to describe it, but I’ll try: Physical relief, of course, but also a kind of terror (will this ever end?) – Dread (the mess…. on myself and in the tub) – Regret (why am I still in the tub?) – Panicked anxiety (will my partner come into the bathroom at this very moment and find me here, like this, in the tub, volcanic poop still gushing out of my asshole?)

Finally, a few concluding squirts sputtered out and it ended. I layed there so briefly, just to make sure I didn’t pass out when I stood up. The stench was incredible. The asteroids smelt a bit, but nothing could compare to this hot stench engulfing our tiny bathroom, effectively turning it into the pits of hell. I was amazed to see that the towel had caught 95% of it all, though. I used the unsoiled half to wipe off my leg and butt cheek enough to where I wouldn’t drip poop everywhere when I walked to the kitchen to get two garbage bags. I came back and carefully rolled up the towel to double bag everything.

I plopped that onto the floor, turned the shower on, lit a few incense matches and sprayed some room spray, praying the stench would dissipate by morning. I rinsed off and used an old rag to scrub all affected areas before just sitting down under the stream of warm water. To my horror, I hear the bathroom door open. My showering had woken up my fiance and he came in to pee. I peaked out from behind the shower curtain and he, bless his heart, only asked if I was okay. I just looked up at him and mumbled something about ‘getting sick’, but the bathroom still reeked and he sees the garbage bag bundle on the floor. I’m sure he pieced together a part of what happened. He asked if I needed anything and when I declined, went back to bed.

I finished my shower, triple washing my whole body and making sure the tub was clean. I took the bags out to the dumpster, came back inside, sprayed more room spray in the bathroom, made sure the door was latched shut, and went back to bed at almost 4AM. My stomach still felt a little uneasy, but I was confident there wasn’t anything left that could work itself out tonight and I was exhausted. I slept alright and woke up this morning tired and still feeling a little sour, but much better than last night.

Although I really wish I had moved to the toilet before the diarrhea started, I am honestly relieved that it happened. I do feel better today. Constipation is no joke and I’ve dealt with it many times in the past, so I know better! I should have done an enema or talked to a doctor much earlier, but I convinced myself to wait it out because I was pooping, albeit very small amounts.

The past few weeks, I hadn’t been able to eat properly because I’ve felt perpetually full and/or nauseated this whole time. I was constantly uncomfortable, achey, and having migraines but I’m not sure how much of that was caused by the constipation directly. If you’re constipated, DO NOT wait 3+ weeks to deal with it. Even if you’re ‘pooping a little’ every so often. It just gets worse and worse. I think an ER visit would have been justified last night (though I am glad I avoided it) but I definitely would have wound up with a doctor digging poop out of my butt if I hadn’t gotten this cleared out in the next day or so.

And that’s the end. Byeeeeeeeee…

My husband doesn’t know how to cook. he also not a fan of the food I cook from my country of origins. Seeing him living off fast food motivated me to learn to cook his family’s common meals. It took me a while to get it done properly but now I can cook an entire list of his favourite meals. he praises my cooking and encourages me to learn more.

While we were eating dinner at his parent’s house. I had to excuse myself to go wash my hands after I was done. I left the table and my husband was still eating. as I was making my way back I heard his dad tell him to take it easy because he was eating a lot. he then asked my husband if I cook for him and if he eats well at home.

My husband said that I do cook for him but the food I make can only be fed to pigs not humans. I was hurt and so offended. I showed up infront of him and told him I will no longer be cooking for him after this comment. He was turning in his seat as I walked right past him, took my purse and said I was headed home. He got back later saying it wasn’t like that and that even if it was then I should be happy he still eats my food when it’s still “not perfect” yet. He said he was trying to protect my feelings and I hurt him when I said I won’t cook anymore.

A girl shared a story about how she met a “nice” and “wholesome” guy who brought her to a hotel after boasting of his prowess in bed, only to be disappointed.

Here is the story:

“Hello everyone here, first time posting and I need some advice.

So I recently started using a dating app and met a guy there. it started off really well as I thought he was a very wholesome, nice and funny guy.

However, things went downhill after we started meeting up. he started making perverted comments all the time and brought me to hotel 81 under the guise of a staycation.

Upselling himself

He also consistently boasts about his prowess in bed and “Mighty D”, when in actual fact the “m” word we are looking for is “microscopic”.

I honestly don’t know where he gets all this confidence from, and even more confused about how to break it to him that the experience is truly mediocre at best.

Please help provide some advice I am really at a loss of what to do and very scared.”