A netizen shared how he is in his mid 40s, single and not ready to mingle, who worked really hard during his younger days and was very prudent with his spending.

He had a friend that he knew since he was a kid, who spent money freely and splurges on his then-girlfriend, reasoning that “money can always be earned back”.

That friend is now jobless and struggling financially, and he is now seeking help from the netizen to tide over.

Here is the story:

“TLDR why am I expected to pay for someone else’s own life decision?

For context, I am in my mid-40s, single with no plans on entering any relationship. I chiong a lot during my younger days, with very prudent spending and have reached the stage whereby I have my own house, can survive on the passive income from my early investments and am basically retired now.

There is this guy, whom I knew when I was still a kid. Our parents knew each other and meet up sometimes. Apart from the meetups that occur because of our parents, I don’t interact much with him so I wouldn’t consider us to be close friends.

During one of the meetups when I was around my mid-20s, there was casual chat and my parents brought up how much I don’t like to spend money as if I was torturing myself. I just brushed it off but later, this guy came up to ask me the same thing when we split off with our parents (as they wanted to look at some stuff in the mall that we children aren’t interested in).

“Money can always be earned back”

I explained to him how I just wanted to spend less now so I can work less in the future, and also told him that maybe he should control his spending, especially seeing how much he splurge on his then-girlfriend.

He just gave me the response “money can always be earned back”. I just moved on since that was his choice and who am I to interfere with it.

Now no money, no job

Over the years, he’s been doing the same, splurging on his family without a care in the world, until the pandemic happened. He lost his job and is now struggling financially. He asked me for help, saying that I have extra money that I do not need and that I can always work again after the pandemic to top up my own fund.

I rejected, saying that he has to be accountable for his own life decisions. Somehow my parents caught wind of this and chastised me for not helping since even without working, I can still afford to spend on leisure.

Is it reasonable to expect me to dig into my own funds and interrupt the lifestyle which I have planned to enjoy over many years to help someone who has never invested or contributed to the success of my current lifestyle?”

My 23M bf has a close female friend (Girl A) that is like a confidant of his. They would meet up a few times a year to chitchat about life and occasionally text one another.

Previously  i asked what they were chatting about during their meetups as it often takes 3-4 hrs for each meeting. He mentioned they were just gossiping about their ex classmates and some boring life talks which is normal and understandable on why they had never invited me to join for dinner.

Last week, i made a new friend which happens to be Girl A’s good friend and my bf’s acquaintance. She mentioned that Girl A had occasionally shared their conversation topics from those meet up sessions with her and its usually comprises of one of them asking advice for their relationship, and also frequently involve discussions of a more explicit nature e.g how to self pleasure and how to get better in bed etc.

After hearing it, i just dont feel comfortable knowing that such personal stuff about our relationship and intimacy are made known to someone outside our relationship. Furthermore knowing that he may be twisting the facts about the conversations they had during their catchups. As my bf and Girl A has been friends for a decade, he probably had been discussing all these issues with her prior to getting attached with me and I want to respect that privacy of his.

But how can i go about asking him respectfully refrain from discussing such intimate and personal issues with Girl A in the future?

My retired uncle have been caught thrice for shoplifting in 2 years but since he is an elder, the police decided to just let him go with a warning.

On his third time he was arrested, he called my dad to bail him out instead. His family is sick of him repeating the mistake is had clearly state they won’t bail him for a third time. And they didn’t show up at all even after my dad called them. My dad made him promise not to shoplift again or he also won’t bail him out.

Fast forward, a year, nothing happened and we thought he is finally over the bad habit. But we are so wrong, the other day, we went out with my uncle and cousin for dinner. Before dinner, we did some grocery shopping when I saw he had hid a bar of soap in his pocket. I went over and gently remind him that there are cameras around and that someone was caught shoplifting a week ago (I made it up). I also make it clear that he can get anything and I’ll pay, since it a value shop.

I then walked away and do my own shopping. When we’re paying, I realized he didn’t have the soap in his basket. I assumed that he had put it back. But I was surprised when I saw him sneaked the bar of soap into his bag after we walked out of the shop.

When we’re done with dinner, I managed to find a time and speak with him, one on one. I told him I saw the bar of soap which he didn’t pay for. It’s not on the receipt. He admitted to ‘accidentally dropped’ it in his pocket which I told him that’s impossible. I reminded him that if he continues, the police will eventually charge him one day, it’ll be his 4th times already. He calimed that the police told him that they hate merchants who make a report over small things like these (because he usually steal small and cheap items like candies, soap, spoons, pens.. which can easily go into his pocket), so they won’t charge him. I don’t feel he wants to stop!

I know it might be a psychology thingy but is there a way to help him stop? What happen if no one bails him out? What is the punishment for repeated shoplifting?

I’m currently serving SOL in *camp name redacted* camp, and I stay in none other than the infamous level 6 bunk, alone

Was about 6pm, was studying my own things in camp, mind u it was a rather sunny day, sun hadn’t set yet.

All the usual stuff you’d hear about cupboards banging, breathing down yr neck, feeling like you’re being watched,

what shocked me the most was that one moment I was doing my own studies, then the next moment I was outside the bunk lying on the bunk floor, having just hit my head on one of those metal box things, as well as red marks on my arm

Sitting here rn at the medical centre; DO told me to go to guardhouse but it isn’t a long term solution, I’m in my smart 4 and I have nothing with me except my wallet and my phone and a powerbank, and the guards don’t have spare manpower so there’s no way I’m going up to get my stuff

it’s day 2 of my sol, I have 12 more to go, 6 nights of sleeping alone, anyone have any advice? is this enough reason to get an ooc? I’m not stepping foot in there even if my whole platoon is with me.

Netizens’ comments

Damn, why do they still make people sleep at Level 6 if it is that infamous for paranormal activity?

I’ve seen multiple stories shared by people with their own experiences about *camp name redacted* Camp. Would not want to set foot in there, definitely.

I need help with motivation in NS. I have always been a very motivated person and I am usually efficient in getting things done.

However, for these few days leading up to enlistment, I have never felt so unmotivated and mentally drained in my life.

I have all my items ready but I have been procrastinating to pack them.

I am enlisting tomorrow so I hope that this lack of motivation doesn’t continue. I really don’t want to be a downer as I always try to make people around me happy when I can.

I don’t think I can hide the fact that I am super lethargic and moody any longer.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m pretty much in the same boat. I can get things done, but these few days cant be bothered to do anything(even gaming) and cant sleep too.
  Also enlisting tomorrow here to school V too.
  Here’s hoping for you to get through this easily

• Just stick to your Routine Order for the first few days. Use this time to mentally transition from cv to military.
  Dont forget to enjoy!

Is there really a need for 4 months of Maternity leave? Can someone enlighten me how does maternity leave suppose to encourage more baby making?

If it’s to recuperate, I think 1 month should be enough? If it’s for looking after the kid, then how about after the maternity leave ends?

I heard of new moms who used to go holiday or having high tea after a month. Isn’t annual and child care leave enough?

Let’s be objective about this.

Netizens’ comments

• I don’t know if you are male or female but highly possible you are someone’s boss.
  And whoever that’s pregnant and had to work for you had my sympathies
  So what she goes for high tea or a holiday in that four months? Having a break after carrying a kid for 9 months not to mention the hellish first month of confinement is well deserved. And not many mums even get the luxury of such if she has no support with the kid.
  So shut it. Being a mum is hard enough without posts like this from people like you.

• No need for maternity leave. A woman’s job is to serve. She should spend all of her time at home taking care of her child, and the moment she’s not doing that, she should be working. Heaven forbid we have women actually doing something interesting and fun with their free time instead of cooking, cleaning, and taking care of their families! How dare she go for high tea? How dare she do something for herself? How dare she not spend every waking AND sleeping moment with the baby?
  Also, babies should be independent from birth! How DARE a baby want to be carried? What’s all this nonsense about bonding with the parent? Why does a baby need comfort? If an adult can be left to cry alone in the stairwell, then a baby should get used to it as well. I mean, at least they have a comfy cot to cry.
  Babies should sleep when you tell them to sleep. Adults have no problem falling asleep the moment they hit the pillow, and have zero issues waking up at night. I’ve never met a functioning adult who got up at night to pee, or drink water, or eat something. Actually, you might as well throw your baby away if they don’t walk and talk from the moment they emerge from your vagina because if they can’t do it now, they will never be able to do it.
  Maternity leave and all is a waste of time and resources. You’re so right. We should all just be robots instead of partaking in these frivolous pleasurable activities that do nothing to contribute to the world.