Im afraid to have kids with my wife because shes overweight

Ive been with my wife for 4 years. In that time she has gained 22kg.

Now dont get me wrong, I dont need my wife to be some super skinny super model body. But I do feel the weight gain (which has not stopped) has gotten out of hand. She went from having an average body type to pushing well into the realm of obesity.

Ive tried for a couple years now to get over, because I do love her. But Im 15cm taller than her, stocky, and a little flabby and theres still only 10 pounds between us.

Its made me hyper aware of her (maybe) related behaviors. She sleeps ALOT. She started snoring in that time. Low effort in bed. Her eating habits always mess up my mood. Its also “this and that” for every meal. A burrito AND a large nacho. An ice cream sandwhich AND a extra scoop of ice cream. A combo box and extra fries.

Its made me really hesitant to have kids with her because I know there no going back after that.

And of course, it feels impossible to gracefully broach this topic with her. Because it makes me feel like a superficial a-hole. But I really dont think I can live like this.

I [25M] found a condom wrapper in my gf’s [23F] trash and don’t know whether to believe her explanation

I was at my girlfriend’s home in her bedroom. She asked me to throw away a piece of trash and I leaned over the side of the bed to throw it away in her almost empty trash can. I noticed a gold glimmer. I immediately thought “condom wrapper” but told myself I was being crazy.

She got up to pee and the temptation got the best of me and I picked it out. It was a condom wrapper. My heart immediately sunk and started racing because we don’t use protection. There was also the used rubber in there with it.

I showed her what I found and her eyes kinda widened and her face was like an “oh my god” type face. I didn’t say anything just grabbed my things and started leaving. She chased after me and explained why it was there.

She said her roommate who borrowed her “adult toy” to attach it to the strap on mechanism. My girl then says after she washed it she used a rubber on it because she did not want to cross contaminate. She explained this without hesitation so it almost seems believable.

My only question is if someone is worried about someone else’s bacteria? Idk what to think. She claims evidence for her explanation is the fact the condom had no human fluids in it but I didn’t touch it or examine it so I’m not sure if that’s true.

I know how this might seem but hear me out..

So I’m a single 24F and I’ve never been in a proper “relationship” like boyfriend and girlfriend, but I’ve been in plenty of situationships.

I guess I am not a forward person so I’ve never initiated the talk (I don’t think I would ever want to have dated any of those people anyways), but I’m truly wondering how two people become bf/gf, like how the conversation is brought up, when, who brings it up, etc.

So anyway, just asking for people’s personal experiences on how they landed in a relationship.

I’m reaching an age where my parents/relatives are asking and I have literally no idea … how… to even get started with that chapter of my life. I’ve never really had anyone tell me how they became official.

I think my point is that I’ve spoken to plenty of men for long enough but no one had initiated that convo, but I’ll see women who are able to have a bunch of relationships and I’m just curious why I’m built different

Here are what netizens think:

• Download the dating app loh

• I’m a 35M that got into my relationship with my 35F girlfriend because we met back in primary school and we reconnected many years later and we ended up being a couple.

• A friend and I started spending more and more time together. We’d have sleepovers, go on long walks when neither of us could sleep, and we’d spit Boba pearls at one another. When I realized I’d fallen for him, I just blurted out that I wanted to be with him. He told me that he felt the same and things have been good ever since.

• After you’ve been seeing someone for some time, you can ask “hey, do you want to be exclusive?”. It can help if you can wait a bit before having sex. Establish a relationship based on common interests etc before getting physical.

My bf of close to a year confessed to me that he thinks of his ex, which honestly upsets me. He describes their relationship as “toxic” and “she deserve better” but I don’t understand why won’t he just get better and win her back instead?

Am I a rebound? This is my first relationship, but it’s his third.

For context, we met at the school gym and I showed interest in him first before we got together. He claims that he and his second ex had no common interests/hobbies and she wasn’t his cup of tea. He says that he was attracted to me initially because we had a common interest (gymming) and I was his type of “ideal girl” (physically).

I honestly thought we also connected emotionally (since he confess that to me?). I’m quite lost for words now and I dk what to do…

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s told you the answer literally >> attracted to you INITIALLY due to common interest (gymming) and how you looked physically. Well after nearly a year, maybe he has time to reflect on what he wants / doesn’t want out of a partner and he’s having doubts.

• Good that he’s your bf, not husband. Can find a better man to be your husband lah

• How wonderful it is to date when young. No inhibitations, hesitations, doubts or fear.

• His mind is waivering, he is missing her n regrets his toxic ways. Ask him whats next? See if he can answer or take a long pause

• He is just your gym bf, out of gym… find someone else. Maybe he is also gym specific.. so give it up.lah.. dun be naive

My wedding is in two months, but I think I’m done.

Fiancé has been weird lately. Planned to get into the shower with me tonight, didn’t because I was “too fast”. I was in there for 15 minutes. When he got into the shower, I had to come back into the bathroom to get moisturizer. Usually he turns on a podcast and jumps right in, but this time he was standing in front of the mirror with his phone.

Things haven’t been perfect, lots of wedding planning stress and garbage, but we were (I thought) both extremely excited to tie the knot after ten years together. We have a decent life, great connection, and genuine love for each other, or so I thought.

Got curious. Found out he’s been snap chatting his female co worker because she snapped him at 2am tonight. His Snapchat notifications specifically are turned off completely. He has zero text messages from her. The Snapchat message said “Aw, okie. Sweet dreams 💜 thanks for talking to me. Got another win!” (Talking about video games).

I’ve omitted the cutesy pet name she called him because it makes me physically sick. I screenshotted the message, and she replies lightning quick: “you still up Mr?”

I reply and play it cool and pretend I’m him. Nothing super juicy, but lots of lols and some hearts… she’s playing video games and wants ice cream, but has to go get some… He sees this woman all day at work. But apparently it’s common for them to talk in the middle of the night.

Also found a deleted naughty photo of himself in his recently deleted that I certainly didn’t receive, who knows where that ended up. I don’t think he has the balls to send that to anyone, but who knows.

Haven’t slept. Have thrown up several times. Terrified that even if i address this with him, he will just be better at covering his tracks next time. I have given him ten years of my life. I’m 25. Thank god we don’t have children. Just a house, two dogs, and ten years worth of memories…what I thought were good times. I thought he wanted to marry me. The wedding is supposed to happen in two months on our ten year anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I am wrecked.

I had unprotected intercourse with a woman for literally ten seconds before she admitted she has herpes and we stopped.

She hasn’t had an outbreak in six years, and didn’t have one last night, but she is not on preventative medication.

What are my chances of getting it? I’m a male for the record.

Netizens’ comments

1. Slim.
   Not none, but slim.
   You’re PROBABLY ok, but I’m not a doctor so don’t take my word for it.
2. I got it in the early to mid 90s. Since then I’ve had maybe 3 or 4 minor outbreaks, if that.
   I’ve been married almost 25 years, we don’t use condoms and I don’t take preventative medication for it. He’s never had any symptoms so he may have it, he may not.
   I seriously wouldn’t worry about it, although if you’re not in a committed monogamous relationship, you should be wearing condoms, cowboy. No joke, suit up…herpes is the least of your potential problems.
3. Realistically, it’s low. Not none, but low.
   Also, you’ve been with people who have HSV before and you will be again. They just don’t know they have it.
   Your health is YOUR responsibility. While what she did was messed up, it’s YOUR JOB to ask prior if someone is up to date on their testing.
   You may have it already (not from her) and not know.
4. Condoms are kind of irrelevant when it comes to herpes and I agree with most of what’s been said already… so I’m just chiming in to say:
   lol doesn’t use condom with random person then gets nervous about catching something
5. Buddy, if you’re going in, without protection, on a girl who only tells you ten seconds in that she has herpes, then you two are probably in the same boat. Js, you could very well have already contracted the virus without ever having an outbreak yourself. Get tested. Wrap up…cmon man, be better.
6. Chances are you have already caught herpes before, because most people have it. Few people actually have outbreaks. Herpes chills in your body forever and comes out only if your immune system gets worse.

I (23f) have had an insane libido spike over the last few months and its starting to get annoying.

I went from wanting to f- my husband maybe once a week to now wanting to tear him apart and gobble him up every day.

My husband can’t keep up with me anymore i’ve turned to toys and dirty novels to satiate that itch but it only helps for a bit.

I’m not sure what else there is to do other than just ignore it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Have any significant changes occurred in your diet/lifestyle when this began? Could you be pregnant?
2. First off there is nothing wrong with you. I, personally, have a significantly higher libido than my partner and there are times that it goes to zero for no apparent reason and times it goes through the roof. I have felt your frustration and it’s tough.
   It sounds weird but do some form of meditation on where it’s coming from, sit with the thoughts. Large changes can be exciting and that excitement can show up differently for people. If there are new fantasies, maybe make a plan to act on some of them. There is nothing wrong with self pleasure too. It’s not fair to force someone to do more than they are comfortable with but it’s not fair to deny our own desires too.
   Last thing, there is an idea in psychology that creativity and energy are similar in how they influence our brains. If you have hobbies or projects or something that can tap into creativity or imagination and give it some space to burn up that extra desire.
3. Get a full blood test. Talk to your OB just to rule out anything that might be a larger issue.
   A sudden change in anything is usually a good flag to have a full physical done.