My boyfriend is quitting his job and wants me to provide for him

My boyfriend and I share an apartment. I go to uni and work part time while he only works part time and doesn’t go to school.

Last week he told me he was enrolling into school again and I was happy for him but then he said he’s going to quit his job.

So now he expects me to pay all the bills and also provide for both of us. I would provide for both of us if I could but I can’t.

I suggested he worked on the weekends only so he could help with some of the bills around and I’d handle the rent but he doesn’t want to.

He insists my job is good enough to pay for everything and he says I should work harder. I don’t know how to nicely tell him that I can’t provide for him without sounding selfish.

Netizens’ comments

1. Some conversations can’t be all nice. Your BF is being selfish. It’s clear that neither of you have a lot of money. Well, life is hard – and you need a partner who will pull his weight. If he can’t work at least as hard as you work with school and part time work, he’s not the partner you need.
2. Just imagine yourself with him 10 years from now – trying to juggle work and being a mother – and his expecting you to do it all because he has a job and no energy for sharing the load at home…
3. Stop worrying about being nice and tell him, “I love you, but you need to do your share – I cannot and will not support you if you aren’t doing your part.”
4. Why are you still with him, ask yourself this, are you his girlfriend or his mother?

hey, so sorry if this is a silly question. but i said i’d ask on here because i don’t know where else.

i, (18F) have always been really wet down there. in the past, when getting frisky with my boyfriend, i would leave actual wet puddles on his bed while being fingered.

i would drench his leg while grinding on it before we f each other. and then during actual intercourse, it was so wet and we never needed lube or anything.

i don’t wanna go into details but we weren’t intimate for a good few months (we weren’t actually together back then, it was just casual drunk hook up.) now we are officially together, we live together, and i have become dry down there.

it’s not that he doesn’t turn me on? i love him, i find him so hot, and i want him to f me. but i just don’t get wet like i used to. i have to spit on my hand and rub it on him so that he can fit inside me.

how can i fix this? it’s really embarrassing for me, and i want a better experience for him (and myself) , because he’s commented in the past how he likes how wet i am.

does anyone have any advice? would be much appreciated.

Netizens’ comments

1. Make a gyno appointment and see if anything has changed?
2. Lube is such a great idea it makes it so much easier.
3. There is nothing wrong with using some lube. Get a good water based one.
   Maybe have a drink ?
   I suggest he give you more foreplay to help you get more wet before PIV.
4. Are you on birth control when you weren’t before? Birth control completely took away my ability to get wet
5. Easy solution. 69 before penetration so that both you and him are slimy and easy for him to go in.

I (26f) have been with my bf (27m) for 3 years, the amount of times we make love is poor and infrequent. I’m not sure what I should do?

We have had many conversations about it and what I like / he likes and regardless how I go about the conversation he becomes defensive and offended.

After being together the first few months he told me he doesn’t like to give oral and so he doesn’t do it and I in turn said I won’t do it because it’s not fair.

The while thing is very much like a transaction with him, its never serious or passionate. It’s always the same, we arrange a time to get intimate with each other, meet in the room, take our own clothes off, get into bed, barely any kissing or foreplay and then just gets to it.

I have asked him many times for more foreplay but he will do it once but will fall back into the same routine. I want spontaneity, fun and passion. But I don’t get any of that and it’s been 3 years.

On average we f about once or twice a month (we live together with no kids). I am unsure if I should leave due to the intimacy being poor and if I do, I am unsure what to say.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings and the other aspects of our relationship is good but it’s just the bedroom part. I have tried lingerie and making the first move but he will always turn me down.

Netizens’ comments

Well, here’s the reality that you laid out.

• You have a high libido, he has a low libido
• He doesn’t satisfy you in bed and he won’t get better, because he doesn’t accept feedback
• You currently have no kids, so this is about as good as it’s gonna get
• The whole thing is very transactional to him and lacks passion.

Unless you want to have a bad sex life for the rest of your life it’s pretty clear that you have to leave him.

He made me climax multiple times for like an hour but he didn’t?

He’s 11 years older than me but fr he’s the best in bed and probably the best date I’ve ever had. I’m 27F and he’s 38M.

We met for a lunch date which was very rare for me from tinder – most guys would ask to meet me dinner time. I told him I was on my period so he thought nothing will happen and yet he invited me to meet for lunch.

He’s probably the hottest 38M I’ve met in my life and he’s really fit. First few seconds of our date – we really just couldn’t stop staring at each other and we really vibed and just laughing the whole time. I really had a great time.

I told him I actually don’t have period and it was false alarm the past few days so something happened between us.

I couldn’t count on my fingers how many times he made me finish. I’m the one who’s tired and he was still willing to do it for like an hour —but he didn’t finish?

He told me he was holding it back cus he still have to focus at his work meeting after. I just couldn’t believe it and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

He also kept staring at me while f-ing me which I like since I love eye contact. We literally was having eye contact while he was f-ing me – was it more or he’s just into that?

He texted me after that he wants to see me again.. I think I’m in love.

Netizens’ comments

1. Keep him around. He is prioritizing you, which is sometimes difficult to find.
2. I make love with my wife occasionally without getting off. Some guys are way more into getting women off than they are getting themselves off.
3. You mean people get intimate with each other without eye contact? So they keep their eyes closed?

So, I (21f) have been dating a guy (21m) for about a month and a half now. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last night, we got the farthest we’ve ever gone.

I’m a virgin and he knows this. We were doing a lot of kissing and grinding. It got to the point where I placed my hand on his instrument, but it was soft.

He said he didn’t know why it wasn’t harder that he was embarrassed. I told him not to be embarrassed, I know these things can be normal and it’s OK.

OK, moving forward, he actually pulls it out. I start touching it, but it instantly gets softer. Of course I don’t know what I’m doing but.

I’m not trying to think anything negatively, but I feel like maybe it’s me ? I don’t know if that’s selfish to say, but he was saying no it’s not me, and that he doesn’t understand why this is happening. And that he’s so attracted to me.

But, I feel a little weird? Like it knocked down my confidence? Is this selfish to think? Either way, he couldn’t get it up and he was very embarrassed. He said he’s going to change his diet and stop handling himself with x rated stuff.

I just don’t know what to think? Could it be that he’s not attracted to me physically but likes me? Or nervous? I know it can be a mental thing. Or maybe even lifestyle.

Netizens’ comments

1. This is normal. These things can be like tinkerbell- sometimes they disappear if you stop believing in them. I bet he was just nervous and I doubt he needs to change any of his habits. I bet if you keep seeing this guy the problem will magically disappear before you know it. Being a good partner in your situation means being encouraging and not taking it personally.
2. This is not uncommon for guys the first time you get intimate with them. He is probably just nervous, and nervosity can kill any hardness straight away.
3. Guy was probably just nervous. Happens to the best of us.

A man who tried to find girls during his trip to Thailand, Pattaya tried using dating apps but all he got were “ladies”.

He could not accept the fact that they are men as his desperation is surpass his logic.

Here is the story:

I was in Pattaya with my friends last weekend and one of them has always had trouble finding a girlfriend.

Previously, he was addicted to pubs and discos with hostesses and always used the easy way out by attracting the wrong girl with money.

So during the trip, we played the jet ski while he relaxes on the beach.

When we came back to shore, he said that he was able to contact multiple girls on Facebook dating and Tinder claiming that they are interested in him and that one of them will be joining us for the drinking session tonight.

He showed us the photo and we immediately knew that they were not girls but men. One of them looks over 180cm tall.

We tried to be a good friend and tell him that the girls he is talking to are not actually girls but he refused to believe us and thinks that they are interested in him.

I told him: “Firstly, there are like a gorilla, secondly, you think you, Andy Lau, ah. Many girls come to you ah”

He refused to listen to us and insist that they are women as he had “heard their voice messages”. It kind of sounds like a man pretending to sing opera while talking.

So we when for a drink and one of the ladyboys did turn up. She looks like she just shaved as there were small studs coming out from her top lip.

It was so obvious and my friend was happy and showing off to us that he found a girl.

The happiness was short-lived until she started to talk, she sounded more man than man more than me.

He tried to be polite and said he was drunk and went back to the hotel secretly.

Well, since the person he jio is already here we drank together.

When we got back to the hotel, he was hugging his pillows and his eyes were in tears.

For context, he is in his 30s.

my job is horrific. I work in an extremely toxic environment with extremely toxic people. I work 12-16 hour shifts as essential personnel, see no sunlight, and chained to my desk. We get extremely passive aggressive emails from our leadership encouraging us to quit if we disagree with their choices (promoting people to leadership positions with no experience or time on, offering people special positions without opening to everyone, etc). Everyone but my immediate team (of 5 of us, 3 of which who have been here 5+ years) got $1k raises; we received nothing.

In my 5 years here, I have only seen 1 pay raise of 2% when I became a trainer after 4years. We just got a 15% pay cut since they deemed we are out of covid. I already made no money and can barely afford bread or a simple meal.

I have been here with this bs for 5 years. I am drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have been trying to get out for years now, but covid threw a wrench in that.

I was offered a position for life-changing money on a phenomenal team (they all have been so lovely to work with) with a world-renowned company. I cannot begin to express how eager I am to leave this workplace for them. I’d give 1 hour’s notice for quitting if I could today.

My offer is contingent on my background stuff crossing over to them correctly. My PM said it would realistically take 5-7 business days if he had to guess. Today is day 7. I have heard nothing yet.

I am desperate to get the ball rolling and on my way out of hell. I have had a breakdown every day of week. It’s destroying me, it’s destroying my relationship.

How do I remain patient? How do I eagerly follow up asking for a timeline so I know how much longer I have to suffer for? There’s no light at the end right now and I need something to hold on to.

Here are what netizens think

• Definitely follow up to see the status of your application. I’d also put applications to other jobs just to keep your mind busy. I was in a situation exactly like yours only I couldn’t wait any longer. I left with no job prospects, and honestly couldn’t be happier with my decision.

• Stay strong, keep the passive aggressive emails to a minimum, and try not to cuss anyone out! Also if you can, fwd those micro managing damning emails that make you want to flip your desk and burn the place to the ground to your personal email. I like to read these every now and again to re-affirm my choices. Or some could even be useful in a lawsuit one day!

• Hang in there, and applying for other jobs isn’t a bad idea. When it comes to jobs, your backups should have backups. Recruiters have people drop out mid-process all the time. They’re used to it. So keep looking pretty much until you start your new job.

• Mass application of jobs

A netizen shared a story about how he spent more than $2,000 on several spelled items from a black magic practitioner, as well as to cast a spell on him to help him strike 4D.

Here is what he said

“To start off with, I have always been a firm believer in the supernatural, witchcraft, black magic and whatnot.

I remember years ago I prayed to my late grandmother and did the thing where you write numbers 0-9 on pieces of paper, fold them and shake them inside a can until 4 number drop out.

I went and bought those 4 numbers and won $60, and that was when my belief and addiction began.

I spent upwards of $2,000 on several spells from a local black magic practitioner who claimed that she had a 80% track record.

I bought an abacus ring which she had spelled to “draw in the riches”, and she also casted a spell on me to boost my windfall luck.

I then spent every week religiously going to Singapore Pools to buy 4D, each time betting about $10, hoping that I would finally win money.

But more than half a year have passed and I still haven’t struck anything.

The total money that I have spent, including my bets, amounted to more than $2.5k already. But the witch told me that these kind of things take time.

So I’m keeping the faith, and hopefully my faith will pay off soon.”

Editor’s note: Should’ve come and find me mah, what spell you want? I sell you my limited edition magic rubber band for $1k. EXPECTO PATRONUM.

A netizen shared a story about how he went to Johor with his friends for a short getaway and bought some contraband cigarettes there for about RM5.

However, the cigarettes tasted a little bit weird and when he opened up the cigarette, he found dead ants inside.

Here is what he said

“I went to JB with my friends late one night a few weeks ago to have supper and also to stay over at a relative’s house there before going shopping the next day.

A little background, all of us were smokers, and one of the reasons we went to JB was to smoke cheaper cigarettes.

The cigarettes in JB are relatively much cheaper than Singapore, and they are around the RM13 to RM17 price range. You divide by the exchange rate and it’s so much cheaper.

So after eating supper, we drove around to look see look see and we saw a man peddling cigarettes near an ulu alley beside the road.

We had no idea where we were because we were anyhow driving and the road signs were not very visible because the street lights were not that bright.

So my friend stopped his car and rolled down his window, and asked the man how much was he selling each carton for.

The man told us one carton for RM50, and we were so happy because that amounts to about RM5 per pack, which is like $1.50 in SGD.

So we bought a carton and drove off, before lighting up the cigarettes inside the car.

Oh ya the cigarettes were apparently “Marlboro”, or so that’s what was printed on the cigarette box ah, so Marlboro cannot go wrong right?

My first impression when smoking the cigarette was that it tasted very weird, and the smoke was very very rough on my lungs.

Like you know when you are burning joss paper and you one shot throw too many papers into the bin to burn, and the ensuing smoke kinda chokes you?

It felt like that, and the taste was very bitter and disgusting. And there was also some sparkling sounds from the cigarette when we smoked it, and we got worried that there was something inside that would explode or what.

So I threw away the lit cigarette and took out a new cigarette from the pack, and opened it up, and to my horror, I found a bunch of what appears to be dead ants inside, with the legs and all.

The ants appeared to be ground up with some of the ants’ bodies missing the head, missing the legs, missing the backside all.

I immediately threw the whole pack away and told my friend to stop the car because I had to vomit, it was so disgusting.

In the end we all threw the whole carton away and lamented the waste of RM50, that’s what you get for being super cheapskates.

Never buying contraband cigarettes from JB anymore, lesson learned.”

Editor’s note: You paid RM50 to smoke dead ants hahahaha

I am a recent grad and have been working for a big company for about a year in an office job. Feeling really mentally stressed and burnt out. I have been wanting to change some job which I am overqualified for, like a diploma level job or a blue collar job like plumber or carpenter.

I feel that companies in sg have overly high demands on employees in degree white collar jobs. We usually have to multitask and take on a wide jobscope. On top of that, we still have CCAs like organising meetings and events, writing minutes, being in some commitee etc which everyone have to do on top of their already packed jobscope. Because of all these demands, I often have to work overtime or do extra work at home to clear my load. I have known from my many friends that this is very common across many different companies and industries.

I envy those in non-degree jobs such in admin or support roles or blue collar ones who only need to focus on one jobscope and their work is quite routine. They can usually leave on time, don’t have to bring work home and don’t need to do much CCAs. If I join these jobs, I surely will need to take a big paycut but hey, life isn’t just all about work right? Many of these people work these jobs their whole life and are able to support a family, buy a house etc.

Here are what netizens think:

• Changi Aviation industry have a lot of mid to blue collar job. Comfortable environment too. Pay range from 2k to 4k plus. Technology or white collar 3k to 5k range.

• It’s ultimately down to whether u’re ok with it… And u REALLY gotta be ok with it cos it could be a path of no return…U take that path, u find the pay too low, u’re gonna face challenges if u wanna transition back to a grad position cos employers will wonder why the heck u took a paycut to do a brain-dead job in the first place. It would be time wasted.Not all employers will be willing to let u “try”. And after doing “relaxed” jobs for awhile, u’ll find it even harder to adjust back to a demanding, high-pressure environment.Not to mention that u would have lost years of experience, and you would be starting in the same level as fresh grads younger than u and more hungry than u.

• Be a tutor, stress free work.