Efficiency and effectivity. We want everything to be fast and perfect. But do you think we have taken such efficiency for granted?

So much so that little to minor inconveniences are able to trigger us all. Slightly longer wait at the restaurant cause it’s busy. The train having a minor delay due to track fault. Food delivery that got delayed cause of bad weather. The queue at the Singapore immigration took slightly longer cause your iris can’t be taken ( which I find odd in my recent travels cause this dude was throwing shade at the officer only to walk slowly to the belt and stood there for 10 minutes waiting for his bag to arrive). Line up for a first come first serve free gift only to realise its fully redeemed for the day. We detest the slightest inconveniences and to a certain extent, some will even write a complain to the organisation or a rant on social media to expose the inconvenience they faced.

Here are what netizens think:

• You make this sound like it’s a new thing, pretty sure that for the last 3 decades, Singaporeans have been like this.

• National pastime of Singapore is complaining. I’m quite amused when I see Singaporeans ranting and complaining whenever they face the slightest inconvenience overseas, instead of spending the time and effort used for complaining to actually solve the problem.

• Adding an angle I don’t see really mentioned – I think Singaporeans are not really developed for mental resilience, empathy and anger management. Maybe because generally they don’t express this very outwardly (like we don’t see assaults on the street) because of laws and general Asian restraint, it means they have all these negative thoughts in their mind but no one has sought to teach them how to cope. And it’s generational. So many boomers and Gen X also have the same problems. And they can’t guide their children to develop these skills. All of that just manifests into the famous “tskkk” when they face anything that encumbers them just a little.

• There will always be somewhere that has things worse. If we’re not allowed to have greviences about anything, no one should be complaining at all. Americans shouldn’t complain about their healthcare system because they should be grateful they have healthcare at all. People in countries with pensions shouldn’t complain about having too little because at least they have pensions at all. Calling the government useless, yelling at customer service for things beyond their control, all of these are over the top reactions, sure. But I’m allowed to dislike these things happening to me. I am grateful for the problems we face because as you say, they are minor and I am lucky to be in a position to complain about these as opposed to the issues mentioned above. But that doesn’t mean they magically become not-problems.

26 (Male), Singaporean. Moved out (or rather, kicked out) from home, due to an abusive stepfather that my mom had remarried. (Had to call the cops, type of abusive). Single for the foreseeable short-term future. Even if I date someone… it’ll be at least a few years of dating, till marriage. And then thinking about a house. Which means I won’t be buying any house yet, in the next 4-5 years or so. No parent or family member to co-own the house with, as a single.

I’m just tired of living in Singapore. Dealing with extreme rental prices, and fussy landlords. To be fair, I haven’t had landlords from hell. ‘Im very fortunate and lucky, to be able to say that. My current rental rate is very reasonable as well. And my landlords are rather nice people so far, except for the usual stuff — such as not being able to do laundry as freely as I’d like… When I first moved in, everything seemed very chill and okay. I just hope that there won’t be any huge conflicts moving forward, as there seems to be an increasing amount of questions related to laundry etc. It just feels tiring to not have a safe space all to myself. Even for simple things, such as doing laundry 3-4 times a week. It’d be great to have peace of mind, without being questioned on why you’re doing so many washes. (Incl. bedding, sports wear, I gym a lot and all.)

[This post blew up so edit: 3-4 times a week includes my bedding lol, I normally only wash 1-2 times a week. And these are during my designated days by the way. We have a schedule, I wash Monday Tuesday. I’m already squeezing the washing and drying into those 2 days, air dry btw. But once I wash bedding, the questions come. ]

Can anyone relate? How do you get yourself to hang in there, and persevere? Everyday I feel like I’m getting more worn out and tired of living in Singapore. I’ve heard stories of friends of friends in similar situations… But it would be nice to talk to more people in a similar situation here. My mental health is getting really bad, because of this.

I wish Singapore’s policies took notice of Singaporeans that have no choice but to rent. 🙁

From a tired Singaporean

I hate that I can never get out of the “honeymoon period”

I’ve been together with my partner for a year now and he seems to have been done with the so-called “honeymoon phase” for a while now.

He doesn’t reply instantly to my texts anymore, doesn’t need to hang out as often, and the lovey-dovey messages have decreased.

Don’t get me wrong though! I totally understand that it can’t last forever and that people have their own lives, and I know he loves me.

But hot damn why does this period never seem to end for me? I still get excited when he texts or calls me, I still love seeing him as much as I can, and I like to send him cute messages or pictures that made me think of us.

Even with my ex, it lasted for years FOR ME until he treated me like crap and we broke up.

I just wish I was more normal when it came to this. It just sucks to feel like I’m caring more even though I know it’s not true but it’s just different now.

I have hobbies and friends to keep me busy, but it’s just not enough. I wish I could just turn it off and be more chill as well.

I envy those people whose parents don’t need their children to take care of them. But since it has come to this, I hope to seek some advice.

Background story, my father has been self-employed and not very frugal w spending , but at least he is not alcoholic or mistreats the family so I’m grateful for that. He does not have much savings, cpf not much money other than medisave cos compulsory topup. My mom is rather frugal, has met the BRS for cpf so she is doing fine. She will prob ask for some token amt but she is reasonable so I’m not that worried about her. They have separated.

So, my father has been hinting that he is waiting for me to take care of him, which made me feel a bit stressed out.

I will be graduating by next year, so hopefully, I can get a job by then. I’m intending to get a resale flat, work for prob 3 years and try to have a family. I would like to be a SAHM for a few years before returning to the workforce. My partner will be able to cover for our expenses, but he is not getting 10k or those sky-high salary so we still have to be frugal.

My father has treated me alright, and since I will be working I’m not sure what percentage of my salary to give him. Like I need to save up to pay the loan and have some savings of my own to prepare to be a SAHM, so idk what to do.

He will most prob rent out my room after I move out too, so is it ok if I give him like 5-10% of my salary? And even though I can afford to prob give him like $300 a mth (I dont think I will earn alot, prob around 3-4k), that wont be enough if he decides to quit his job and rely on me 100%, I’m unable to support him completely cos I will have a family of my own. He even asked for a room in my new house so I can take care of him, I just pretended not to hear it.

With his current diet and lifestyle, I hope he will stay healthy, but if anything happens to him ofc I will try my best to take care, within my means. But just not now, this is making me so stressed. If I’m not intending to have a family, I really dont mind, but with my future plans this is going to be very difficult. I don’t even think there are enough rooms to accommodate him and my family.

Shld I just forgo my dream of being SAHM and just work so I can afford to give more money to my father??? Cos I’m really against the idea of him moving in with me. This may sound selfish, but I just want to start a new future w my partner, to start a family of my own.

To add on, I’m not the oldest child, but somehow the responsibility fell on me just cos I have a slightly better relationship w my father. Maybe I shld learn from my older siblings and ignore him so I wont need to do anything? But I’m also not that heartless so idk what to do…

I’m alrdy stressing out about finances before grad. Pls give me some advice, scolding also fine, cos I really dk what to do.

My Husband Died in Front of Me 2 Nights ago

He had a cardiac arrest in the car. I was taking him to the hospital. He thought it was food poisoning or a gallbladder issue. He was only 48.

His birthday is next week. We just got back from a beautiful trip overseas. I am so shattered and heartbroken. I don’t know what to do.

This pain is unbearable. I just want him to come through the door. I want to hug him so tight. We adored each other. I don’t know how to go on.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m sorry for your loss this sounds like a hard situation. I haven’t had anyone close to me die before so I couldn’t imagine. Make sure you take your time to grieve and remember it’s ok to feel your feelings.

Grief is just love in reality it hurts so much because you love that much, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’ll take some time until you feel alright again but eventually, you’ll feel better.

I hope you know your husband doesn’t want you to be sad for the rest of your life. Your emotions grow the more you give to them.

You can give to sadness for a bit because your husband just died. But a little bit more every day give happiness.

Remember the beautiful parts of life, remember what you have rather than don’t have.

My close colleague has been accused of molesting by a woman from another organization, but sharing the same workplace.

A police report was made but my colleague is adamant that he didnt molest her as what she claimed.

Does anyone know whats the usual process that the police will undertake for this kind of case?

Will he need to be detained etc? From what i understand that area has no cctv camera. SO its kind of her words against his. How would the police begin to investigate with so little to work on?

Sincerely appreciate your help.

Here are what netizens think:

• Sorry to hear that you’re in this unfortunately situation. Best advice is to get a good criminal defense lawyer and try to mitigate the situation. Going forward, learn to protect yourself, i.e. don’t be in an enclosed room with another female and keep a distance of at least a chair at all times.

• Hope the bad person is sent to jail (if real then the guy need jail, if fake then the girl need jail)

• It don’t have to be a touch or slap or a grap of a female breasts or crotch to be consider OM. An innocent tap on a female thigh can also constitute to OM. The benefit of doubt is usually given to the female especially if there is an absence of CCTV or other evidence. It will also depends on the victim’s reputation. If she is a normal girl holding a normal job and has no previous convictions like making a false report or giving false information, her words against your friend, is strong. If she is a working lady of the night, the situation will be different and the benefit of the doubt might be given to the Accused. In some certain cases and scenario, OM can be compound and settled out of Court.

• Am female and how can a tap on a female’s thigh be innocent? There are other parts of a woman that someone else can tap. Or just open their mouth and call us…