I just found out that my wife has an OnlyFans page! and that is not the problem!!

So, I am simply here because I want to talk, I want to feel like I am talking to the abyss. It is more of me talking out loud.

I met my wife back in June 2020, she is a therapist and she comes from a conservative family with a very traditional background. I was the one who is crazy and always outgoing and she loved that about me. In a way, I was her window toward another world. I enjoyed that! It felt like I am bringing something new to the table.

We embarked on a journey of true living without limits or restrictions. I still remember the day she farted (she couldn’t help it) and I kissed her and hugged her and told her, Yeah, I want you to be yourself. I don’t want you to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I know it is stupid but it meant a lot to me! in a way it was an indication that she is becoming more outgoing and more relaxed with herself around me.

We had so many interesting discussions about the definition of love, religion, healthy relationships & everything you could ever think of. OnlyFans models (workers) was one of those topics…you know the why’s, the how’s, and the what’s. I remember making a joke and I said if you start your OnlyFans page, you will make a fortune because you got it all… the beauty, the body, the intelligence, and kindness. She really did not take it well despite my attempts in explaining that it was a joke, a bad joke if I may add.

Almost 2 weeks ago she sat next to me and revealed her chest to me. I started putting my mouth on it… at that time, I noticed that her phone was recording, it was like a voice memo… I did not mind and I did not ask… we are both out there and we both enjoy our intimate lives a lot, it was strange that she did not tell me about it but I did not think much of it.

4 days ago, I came across a post for an OnlyFans page, it was hers! I recognized the background and what she was wearing. I am not gonna lie, My heart was beating so fast while I was going through subscribing to her page of excitement! It was such a turn on (the idea this could be my wife).

There she was, looking beautiful & hot. I watched every post, I read every word, & I even liked every single post of hers.

Fast forward an hour or so, I started freaking out, I never thought I would act like this finding out my wife has an OnlyFans page! then my brain started wondering about the idea that this might be considered cheating?! not because she offered herself and her body but because she kept it hidden from me! is there anything missing in our life? am I not enough? is it an experiment?

Then, I decided to go back to the page again and pay more attention to anything I might have missed. apparently, there is something called a tips menu (it is like a menu of services with prices next to each service) and I saw audio recording is one of the services! which reminded me of that time when I noticed she was recording the time we had.

Again, I felt excited about it, so excited that I even paid to see the video and texted her on OnlyFans that I am a new fan and I like what she has on her page.

This is my problem!! Why am I excited? should I be anything else other than feeling excited about this?!!

I am not really looking for an answer! I am just here speaking my mind and loud.

A netizen shared a story about his colleague that he described as a nightmare for being ultra-sensitive.

Here is the story:

This particular colleague of mine… I think she might have been badly bullied by guys in the past such that she takes on an extremely feminist, chauvinist approach to people. Outright “calls out” males in the office for being lazy, too alpha, can’t dress but a single comment about the ladies in the office wouldn’t be tolerated by her.

She is a monster when it comes to online group discussion because she takes everything too personally. Resulting in petty tantrums instead of productive work.

During lunch/dinners, a few colleagues have mind what they say and became boring, such that they don’t share fun things anymore in fear she use that against them/ gets offended.

I am thinking of distancing myself from her. What do you think?

any tips on how to act in front of her?

Here are what netizens think:

• Stay away from her. I’ve worked with someone like that; she’s now blocked on my insta. When I’ve only ever blocked 2 persons on insta. LOL

• Don’t engage her at all. Be boring around her, and say “Maybe you’re right.” or “Sure, you’re allowed to have your own opinions.”
• Find ways to naturally leave her out. Eat at places that she dislikes. Do projects that she doesn’t want. Meet at times where she’s not free.
• Have her become the notetaker during discussions. If she’s too busy typing notes, she will be too busy to argue.
• Do NOT express your dislike for her until you have left the organisation.

My GF took a long weekend trip with a group of friends this last weekend. They left Wednesday and came back yesterday. Before she left I had agreed to pick her up at the airport when they came back. It’s about a 40-minute drive from our place and I didn’t have anything planned yesterday so it wasn’t a big deal. I texted her yesterday morning to confirm their arrival time so that I could plan when I should leave and she told me they were supposed to land at 3pm.

I didn’t hear from her the rest of the day, so I left our place at 2:30pm and arrived at the airport at 3:15 and texted her to let her know I was there. When I didn’t hear back from her by 4pm, I kind of started to worry. So I checked their flight status online and found out their flight had been delayed by 2 hours during a layover and wasn’t expected to land for another 90 minutes. So, I went home. I had no way to contact her so I couldn’t tell her.

About 2 hours later I finally got a call from her and she was asking me where I was. I told her I was at home. She got pissed at me and asked why I wasn’t there. I told her I was there at the time she told me, but she neglected to inform me of the flight delay and I wasn’t just going to wait at the airport for 4 hours. I told her to take an Grab.

I could tell she was pissed and she told me she was tired and exhausted (AKA Hungover) and forgot to text me about the flight delay. She said she doesn’t want to sit in a strangers car for an hour and just wants to get back home. I told her I had already driven to the airport once today and I wasn’t going back. And even if I did, it would take me an hour to get there but she hung up on me.

About an hour or so later she got home, threw her bags on the floor, walked to our room, closed the door and locked it. I tried to go talk to her but she wouldn’t open the door. I ended up sleeping on the couch.

This morning I finally got her to talk to me and she told me her phone died and that was why she couldn’t tell me about the delay and that she was tired and cranky and frustrated when they landed, but that I should have still picked her up because I told her I would. She told me that the Grab was crazy expensive because they charged her peak rates and after spending a lot on her vacation, she’s pretty much broke. She told me I should have just found something to do nearby until she landed instead of going home, especially since I had nothing going on.

When I finally got a word in, I told her that I find it hard to believe she couldn’t find a place to charge her phone during a 2-hour flight delay or have one of her friends text me and that it’s simple courtesy to keep people updated on timelines like that when they are doing you a favor. I told her I think she was just too hungover or still drunk and didn’t even think about it.

She called me an Ahole and told me to F off. She again isn’t speaking to me.

I stay alone, I want to rent out a room, my gf don’t allow, how

One of my friend is currently renting on her own, but her rental is ending next month. Her new house will only be ready Sep/October this year, so she is looking to rent somewhere for just a few months until then (her family is not in SG so she doesn’t have anywhere else to stay).

Since I stay alone with extra room to spare, she asked if she can rent at my place.

I had a chat with my gf about this, and she wasn’t happy because it’ll just be me and my friend at the house (my gf doesn’t stay with me due to family reasons).

So I asked her if I were to rent out the room to a guy is she ok? And she also said no, because she wants to come over as and when, and having a random guy around will be uncomfortable for her.

I understand her view, but to me it’s such a waste to not rent out the room since it is extra income. Need some advice on how to navigate this situation?

Netizens’ comments

What if the shoe is on the other foot? Would you be okay if your gf has a house and rents out a room to a guy friend?

Husband is not interested in getting intimate after baby

So I gave birth 6 months ago. And we had intercourse about 5-6 times since. My husband has been so not interested. And I feel like I initiated half the time.

I know he is not cheating. He is a great dad. He works from home. We share house work and he looks after the baby too.

He is just not into it and this happened after giving birth.

It didn’t used to be like this. We did it at least 3 times a week before.

This makes me very self conscious and sad. Like, I’m not wanted or loved anymore. Has anyone experienced this? What could be the reason?

Netizens’ comments

My brother went through the same thing with his wife (ex wife now – they divorced because she had been cheating on my brother since before she was pregnant, during, and after) when she gave birth to my nephew.

He told me that he saw her as a mother to his child, someone to respect, work hard for, and was just so busy working 2 jobs so he could provide. The last thing he thought about was getting physically with her because what he found attractive was her being a mom, not being her (if that makes sense) after the kid turned a year old things got better for them. Not to say that he didn’t find her attractive as herself, but after bearing a child he said that he wanted to give her and his kid the world. That meant working 60+ hour weeks, 3-4 hours of sleep, and taking care of a kid.

Then he found out she cheated and he left her.

As a woman I only like submissive men

Okay, this is going to be one of the weirdest things you’ll read today, but I genuinely want to get this off my chest, I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while.

I’m a 27 year old woman. I wouldn’t be saying this if it wasn’t true, but I’m very lucky in the looks department, I was really popular in University as well. I have a hard time finding men I like though, because I only like submissive men..

I broke up with my boyfriend in December 2021, we argued, but we were together for 2 years. He was 4 years younger than me, and he would say ”even though you’re only slightly older than me, you’re almost like a mum, you’re so protective and strong and confident and attractive, you’re one of a kind”

my boyfriend was very submissive, but he wasn’t a weird guy. He was aware of the fact that our relationship dynamic wasn’t really accepted in society and he would act normal in public, but he was very submissive in private, he would let me baby him and he used to enjoy it soooo much. He was obsessed with me, every now and then he would say ”you look so good and you’re also my saviour, you’re one of a kind!”

I don’t know why I’m like this, I do realize I’m weird when it comes to dating, but this is literally the only relationship dynamic that I enjoy. I’ve tried different things, I gave other types of men a chance, but no, I only enjoy a relationship if it works like this, which means I have a very hard time finding men that I like because you basically need to act like a poor harmless baby to attract me..

i hung out with a guy today and his gf walked in.

i feel like the nastiest person in the world. i had no idea he had a girlfriend. i met him at work and we seemed to really hit it off.

we were texting for a while and i even did my research before hanging out with him. there were no signs of a girlfriend so today i went over to his house.

we talked, which led to making out, and next thing you know we’re about to get intimate. but before any of that happened i hear a door open and get shoved off.

by this point most of my clothes are off but i got scared and put my clothes on as fast as i could. i hear a girls voice. i realized what was going on and i grabbed my keys and phone.

i was on the other side of the room when i see him coming in and not long after another girl coming in. she sees me and flipped out on him throwing her drink and hitting him screaming “you’re cheating on me” and asking who i was.

i was frozen and i scared. she screams at me to get out(rightfully) and i hear her calling his mom or dad idk.

i’m not sure what to think or what to do. i had no idea there was a girlfriend in the picture. i feel disgusting.

the worst part of all this is that i have to work with that guy tomorrow. i don’t want to see that pigs face. i feel bad for that girl.

i wanted to say that i was sorry but i didn’t wanna escalate things and piss her off even more. i feel terrible.

I’m a girl and I never get called pretty by guys nor my own friends. I don’t even think I’ve ever been called pretty by my mom, or at least it was so long ago that I can’t remember it.

The only time people say I was pretty or cute is when looking at pictures of me when i was little(5-8yo).

The only compliment I ever get about my looks is about my hair (I have very curly hair which is kinda uncommon in my family).

And that even is only by adults/elders (mostly in my family), most people my age and my friends actually make fun of it and say i look like a clown or like I’m wearing a cheap wig.

I know it’s all jokes but it’s practically the only thing about me I kinda like.

I’ve only ever had one person have a crush on me and that was in P1. And I’m just not attractive in any way I don’t look good nor have a skinny waist and it has just really been messing with my self esteem and worth recently.

I am tempted to get some plastic surgery

Netizen’s comments

Stop it. Stop it now. Youve been conditioned to believe that. I understand because Ive been there. Dont be me, dont wait until youre 34 after traumatizing relationships to see that you are beautiful and that you are more than worthy.

Dont ever let others opinions GUIDE you. How you feel about you will resonate in the world and youll attract ppl who aee the beauty and light in you

Feeling down after starting my first Job

Just graduated this year and I started working for a few months. Work has been horrendous and I’m just feeling like I’m going through the motions and waiting for my paycheck.

Been very stressed, anxious and tired although I’ve been sleeping a lot more.

Yes, I’m definitely feeling very burnt out and trying my best to self-motivate. Thought about quitting my job and escaping to somewhere…

I’m working in tech and I’ve been getting a lot of shit from my manager. Shouting at me, giving me snarky remarks etc.

I’ve also been overworked and sometimes work till 7 in the office because my colleagues do it and I feel bad leaving on time.

I sometimes skip lunch to finish the emails and tasks. Feels as though a lot of the work I have been doing has not been well taken by my direct manager.

Any advise? I’m also wanting to look for therapy places – If there are any recommendations do let me know!

Netizens’ comments

1. I’d recommend evaluating objectively before deciding what solutions to implement like, is this the job problem or a ‘you’ problem?
   Job: Are the people toxic? Boss micromanaging? Constant contact outside working hours? Dealing with nasty clients all the time? Long working hours? Steep learning curve with no mentoring? Brain dead job with no learning?
   You: Nature of work goes against your principles? Have a burning interest/passion you really want to pursue? Entrepreneur mindset; hates structure?
   Not thrashing on the younger generation but it could simply be reality kicking in. Studying and having safety nets in school and parents have made many students not able to transition into full time jobs. This takes time.
   In the real world, people do NOT need to be nice to you, solutions does not exist by flipping to the end of the book, you can’t simply mug at home, memorize a bunch of shit and perform. There’s also no school holidays. Unfortunately some people adapt faster, some don’t.
   • (OP) Yes, this. Job nature-wise, I like it and it is what I want to do.
     Feels very suffocating because my direct manager micro-manages everything I do and I feel like I have no flexibility in my work. Put more examples in my other comment.
     Understand where you come from and I definitely feel that I should be grateful for my job – I mean, I am compensated to sit in an air-conditioned office and even get paid to take leave/public holidays. But I just struggle to find the meaning in all these. mostly because of the toxic environment and feeling alone at the work place.

I (28F) want my boyfriend (30M) to f me in my face but he thinks it’s degrading

My boyfriend has a history of feeling shame when we make love. It’s something we have talked honestly about and we are working through it. I am non-judgemental with any desires that he has and that he talks about.

I really enjoy giving him bjs and we have slowly been getting a bit more rough. But I really want him to f me in my mouth, go deep down my throat.

At the moment he holds back a bit, my theory is because he thinks it’s degrading. Should I outright tell him I want us to go more extreme, even if theres a possibility deep down that he may not feel comfortable doing it?

I think he actually would enjoy it but he feels that it is shameful to enjoy it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Tell him this is hot for you. It turns you on. It’s not degrading because you trust him so much. It’s an act of love.
   Me and my guy get really dirty. But we are also disgustingly sweet. Cuddly and lovey dovey. And then dirty again.
   It works because of that love and trust underlying everything. He “uses” me. I “use” him. We both serve the other on our knees. We both degrade. We both praise.
   And don’t forget the aftercare. For both. Even the one being rough needs aftercare. Maybe affirmations that you loved it and are ok. Hugs. Cuddles. Cleaning each other off. Whatever you need.
2. Don’t make assumptions, ask him why he’s holding back and have a discussion about you wanting him to be more rough with you in bed as well
3. I think the easiest way around this may be roleplay. Have him pretend to be someone bad, or for you to be someone so bad you don’t deserve to be treated like a person. Hope you get there!