Help please! Have there been cases where private hospitals were able to treat someone when public hospitals were not able to?

I have a family member who has a tumor in an area where it is very complicated to remove and the TTSH doctor is saying the chances of surgery success and survival is low.

My family is planning to seek a second opinion from other hospitals, including private ones.

– I’m wondering has anyone encountered cases where the second opinion was entirely different in a good way?

– I’m not well-informed about the differences in public vs private hospital treatment, but have there been cases where private hospitals were able to treat someone when public hospitals were not able to?

My family is feeling pretty hopeless and depressed now and we’re going to grab onto any hope we can get our hands on.

Here are what netizens think:

• my mum passed away from pancreatic cancer. It’s insidious and known to be a a really tough cancer to treat. We too had also weighed the differences between the two and we had sought opinions from friends and relatives whom are surgeons or doctors. I’m pretty sure the doctors and nurses from government hospitals are more than equipped to handle their treatment and I do not think private vs government would make much difference except for the cost which can be exorbitant and can put your family into debt. If your family is in good financial standing, you could go private just for added comfort for your family member, the process and waiting time might be shorter and you could have selection of doctors. I do not think it makes a real difference in terms of treatment. As for now, I can only say the cancer is hard to treat. Please spend precious and quality time with your family member while they are still around.

• You will only know when you get the second opinion medical report. I know you are looking for reassurance that seeking a second opinion may turn out differently but it’s not going to happen that way. Other people’s experiences are based on their own circumstances, not yours. So you need to remember that. You will also have to face the extra task of weeding out factually inaccurate and unsound advice. Which I’m already seeing here. Best of luck.

• TTSH say tumour complicated to remove and has low chance of success, they are just telling you the truth. Private doctor will do for you at no higher chances of success. Please do get a second opinion. But unless there’s a mistake, there won’t be a big difference in opinions. Life has many unpredictable and helpless moments. Be brave and faced it. I lost both parents within 5 years, both to cancer. The pain, the helplessness, everything you can imagine, I have experienced. But I learnt one thing. If can’t improve situation, don’t bother overthinking. You will just make yourself more miserable. Better off to just face and accept.

• the reason why private hospital is better in treatment is because they use drugs which public hospital won’t. but of course the treatment is many times more expensive.

• In general, for Singapore, public hospital doctors are equally competent as private hospital doctors. But definitely feel free to seek a second opinion as any doctor can be wrong.

• My friend’s father had a terrible experience at a public hospital and the private doctor righted the wrong. Sometimes it’s “luck” depending on which doctor you get. I’ve had a really good local doctor at a public hospital before.

• The deal is that private doctors have a conflict of interest and will most probably tell you what you want to hear. That said, go ahead and ask for it anyway but keep the above in mind.

• For pancreatic cancer, the prognosis and treatment plan may not be very different even if you seek second or third opinion. But for somebody who has little knowledge of how the cancer can progress will benefit from the reassurance of hearing of another specialist. You can make an informed decision from there. My personal opinion is the gov run NCC is as good as those in private practice.

Dear admin, please grant me permission as I’m keen to gather diverse perspectives on this matter.

Greetings to all, I am a fresh graduate nurse and i’m pretty shocked at how low the pay is for dip/degree nurses. Many of my peers start with a salary of $3350 without honors; with merit, it rises to $3.4k-$3.6k. Honors students can earn around $4k, while diploma holders begin at approximately $2.5k. After CPF deductions, the take-home pay for degree holders without honours might be just above 2k.

I’m unsure why the government is actively encouraging locals to join the nursing workforce when, based on last year’s employment survey, the pay remains among the lowest in the university.

Given the demanding nature of nursing, coupled with the aging population, one might argue that the starting pay should be significantly higher to retain local nurses.

The government has sought assistance from other countries, including India and the Philippines, to address the nursing manpower shortage but we all know they would leave after their 6 years bond & employing foreigners are just short term solutions.

During COVID, 20% of Philippine nurses left Singapore, and it’s widely known that foreigners often view Singapore as a stepping stone to later work in Australia. Unfortunately, nursing lacks appeal among locals due to low pay and persistent discrimination and stereotypes, with the profession still being labeled a “dirty job” and I feel that there’s no way we can change the mindset of the generation nowadays as it has been fixated like this for so many years..

How do you deal with an overly needy gf?

My GF has been pestering me to be with her or game with her all the time.

We used to go on dates and game often because I was jobless.

But I found a job and she seems to still want to keep up the previous gaming lifestyle.

She keeps pestering me to game with her the entire day, making a big deal out of it if i say i am busy.

I had to resort to telling her a white lie that I am busy at work sometimes, just to catch a breather.

To put things in perspective, it is something along the line of gaming before work, gaming during my work breaks, gaming after my work till late at night, gaming the entire day during weekends, gaming with her when she is bored at her relative’s home.

She has depression, and the jobs she was in did not last long, and she is mostly a stay home person, I already do all her chores, go to work to support our living and now i am also expected to entertain her the entire day?

To make it worst, she even invaded my personal gaming space by joining my 5-man team with my kakis, thanks to that, we had to exclude one of us so that she can join my games, even had my bro bitching to me that she is causing our ranking to drop because of her low skill level. I did not tell her this because I do not want to create drama.

What do I do? Sometimes she even resort to coming over to my place during my work at home just to squeeze out every last drop of time i have left, or straight up ask me to game with her when i am offline from the meetings etc

Here are what netizens think:

• Establish boundaries. Tell her your availability and stick to it. Don’t allow unauthorised home visits and don’t eject your teammate because of her. Manage and talk.Most importantly, it was mentioned in passing but it could be the real problem: you said she had depression. it might be worth encouraging her to see a psychiatrist as that could be the root of some of the issues

• Do you think the world has only one girl to be your girlfriend? Even if so, you don’t need this girl in your life. Take care.

• Mobile legend is it? Or pubg? She have to find a job n cut gaming time. If she dont want to then u both are on different path. Talk to her

I have a lot of resentment towards my mother-in-law

She is not a bad person, in fact she is very kind and helpful from her heart. She is the type of friend who will go all out to help you no matter what problem you have.

However, her dynamic with my husband is bad… really bad. She was a single mom since he was 7 and she was probably too young to manage a child so he was on his own a lot. Then she was absent during his growing up years leaving him with relatives while she worked and also fall out with the relatives due to her easily offended behavior.

When he got into adulthood, he had to in turn take care of her like a parent which included managing her finances, taxes, her rental property, her medical appointments, basically she doesnt learn/know anything and depended on him a lot and sometimes I see how that stresses him out. They argue a lot when they talk too which is where all my resentment is arising from.

My husband is one of the sweetest man I have ever met until it comes to his mom. But being her only son, he cannot shun the responsibility so all the interactions stresses him and out and in turn stresses me out.

Next, I know she is easily offended so I am always cordial to her to keep the boundary. Means I give her respect but I can never give her love. I know she wants to love me like a daughter because that is in her nature, she has a lot of love and a lot of strong feelings.. but I just can’t because of resentment and boundary. I keep the boundary so that we will not have a relationship so we will not have a chance for conflict. In other words, I do not have any desire to be personal with her on any level and I think she can sense it.

Lately, the resentment got stronger because she said she is having anxiety and that also worried my husband. I have no sympathy towards her, I feel that she is weak and useless and burdening my husband. Additionally, I feel like a horrible monster because I have so much sympathy for even people on the streets, the homeless but I have no sympathy for her. I feel horrible and angry when I think of her. I dont like this version of myself.. Just ranting.

Growing up as an elderly living in Yishun during the 80s, I have seen and experienced many things. One of the most memorable things would be the Yishun meme that has been circulating around the internet and social media for the past few years. Many young people nowadays are familiar with the meme but are unaware of its origin.

I will be sharing my personal stories of what I know about the Yishun meme and how it started.

The Yishun meme first came about in the 80s and was popularised by the locals who lived there. It was a term used to describe the people who lived in the neighbourhood as “siao lang” (meaning crazy in Hokkien). It was not intended to be derogatory but rather a term of endearment used among the locals to describe those who were more eccentric or outgoing in personality.

The term “siao lang” was first coined by the locals during the 80s and was used to describe people who were more daring and outgoing. These people were often seen as eccentric and were referred to as “siao lang”, as an expression of admiration for their courage and daring attitude.

At the time, Yishun was a relatively small and quiet neighbourhood. Most of the people living there were either elderly or middle-aged. It was a close-knit community and everyone knew everyone else. As such, the locals usually had a good understanding of who was “siao lang” and who was not.

The Yishun meme was born when the locals started sharing stories about their “siao lang” neighbours with each other. These stories quickly spread and soon the whole neighbourhood was talking about it. It became so popular that it even spread to the neighbouring towns and eventually the internet.

As time passed, the Yishun meme slowly gained traction and eventually became a viral phenomenon. The stories of the “siao lang” neighbours spread far and wide and soon it was being shared by people all over Singapore.

Bad part time job experience

Is there a group chat or list of bad part time job to avoid??

I was doing part time at this studio, the boss is super long winded, rude and sacarstic. She treat everyone like a dummy, told us what to do from Step A to Z and kept repeating. When someone suggested a certain way to do things faster and more efficient, she will say things like ‘just follow what I said, i am here to tell you how to do things fast’ but end up lecturing us saying we do so slow (using her method)

She fire people just cause they use phone for awhile, despite not affecting the work flow and speed. Isn’t it normal for people to take a short break(just a quick check on phone) from the continue hours of working. It’s understandable to fire if the person causes delay in work, but everything was on track and even faster than the expected schedule. I honestly feel she just wan to find excuse to cut manpower since the production are done faster, completing earlier. She could’ve say things nicely and explain she wan to reduce the manpower instead of blaming the person using some lousy excuse.

The quality of her items are very bad, all with defects and scratches. Instead of putting it aside, she will tell us to just pack it into the box. (So she don’t suffer any loss) I hope this kind of blackhearted business won’t last long and people don’t suffer under this shity job and boss

If there’s a list, will share which studio is this so others won’t go there to work

Here are what netizens think:

• Lol. How can u use phone without reducing workflow or speed.

• Theres a site called Glassdoor

• Would you like to start such a group chat or list instead?

My daughter is getting married soon. When I meet up with my future in-laws, they say they don’t intend to give dowry. The table was like silent quiet a long time. Nvm lah, what to do? As long my daughter is happy…

Here are what netizens think:

• Oh my daughter has just got married. We never ask for dowry but was given $8888 red packet by our in law

• My dad told my in laws he not selling his daughter. So just a token sum for good luck/tradition is enough. He left it up to them the amount.

• I see many people saying it’s not to sell the daughter. it’s for tradition and sincerity. I guess tradition and sincerity is measured in monetary/material terms.

• It’s not about “selling” daughter or wat. It’s about sincerity The in law at least buy something for the girl? Let the bride at least choose to get 1 item? Even not expensive gold, at least others? But true, they must be happy with each other and live happily.

• Basic is must have. You are not selling your daughter, but at least she must be worth something in their eyes. If not… She goes over. No different from a maid. So the basic of gold, 5点金。 And maybe 10k . If the family is so so. If the family cannot even afford. Then your daughter has no stand in the family.

• even though you shouldn’t be treating your daughter as commodity but I have a feeling this is sort of a red flag from your in laws when they don’t even want to give $88..?

• I would not agree for no dowry. As it would should how the in law is looking at my daughter. Not commodities but definitely not freebies.

• Year 2023 , living expenses expensive. If you ask for dowry, but your daughter have to borrow money from bank just to give you. Are you ok? Give happiness to your daughter instead of giving debt. If I were your daughter, I will feel very hurt. It shows that I worth nothing to my future parent in laws.How does your future son in law react to this when he knew his parent are not gg to pay any dowry?? My mil is not rich an she is a widow. My parents never asked anything much from her. Yet my mil is able to give me 两点金。she even brought me to her fab goldsmith shop to chose the design l like. It costs her $2.2k back then. My hubby top the remaining 两点金for my mil. I felt so appreciated to be their part of their family.

• For me, I feel it should be initiated as a token from the groom as a respect for bringing up the daughter (wife). It can be any amount that the groom feel is fair. I’m sure the wife’s family will accept any amount as long as the groom treats her and her family good (most important). It should not be dictated by the wife’s family. If not it will be seen as selling off their daughter which some family do. Have seen a fair share of such squabbles with unreasonable terms from other families sadly.