I thought we had a good intimate life, we were open and honest (I thought), had intercourse on average every other day, and had been together for just over 3 years.

My gf has always been secretive, but I never had any reason to think it was a red flag. One day she got a suspicious text though, so I logged in to her phone and saw very clear evidence of her cheating.

What struck me though was that she was extremely graphic about her “needs” and how I wouldn’t be able to meet them because I am not into it (I won’t go into detail about what they are). I am not vanilla by any means and am more than happy to try new things, so I am stumped as to why she didn’t bring this up with me and instead resorted to cheating.

Over the next few days I was deliberating on what to do, and what I settled on is extremely petty and may make me an asshole.

After a couple of drinks for Dutch courage, I initiated and immediately started to do the kinds of things she described in those messages. She was clearly taken off guard, but in a good way as she was very much enjoying herself, a lot more than usual. In fact, I can’t lie, it was amazing seeing how vocal she was about how it felt etc and I almost didn’t follow through with what I did next.

I was edging her for a while (part of what she described as loving in the texts) and was making her beg and plead to allow her to come.

I obliged and as she was convulsing and screaming, I leaned into her ear and told her what I saw and that she was now dumped, while she was coming.

I then left the room and the apartment after grabbing a few things.

Since then I haven’t spoken to her and don’t plan to, but she has been blowing up my phone (I haven’t opened the messages).

During this market downturn, I lost 1million+ US dollars due to the UST depeg and other tokens going down 80-90%. And I’m back to my net worth 2 years+ ago. I took a really long time building that portfolio, from farming defi governance utility/tokens, meme coins, your blue chip stocks. I thought I was smart, but I was merely early in the mania phase.

It felt…. Nothing. I know it can’t be compared to people who are worst off than me.

I feel so desensitized until I blew it all away. I was arrogant at the point to not have diversified properly especially with super high risk on assets like crypto.

I thought anchor protocol has a yield that was unsustainable but still decided to go for it and held it all the way down because ultimately there’s so many smart/VC people backing it. Nothing can go wrong right? And here I’m selling it at 10cents on the dollar.

I’m a really frugal person and even when I had that million + dollars I scrimped like someone who only had 100 bucks in the bank. Because I don’t cash it out at all. No one even knew I was worth that much. When I reached a million, I aimed higher with the same risk taking strategies but I didn’t know that it would be way harder. I would definitely work on my allocation strategies next time.

Anyone who had lost majority of their wealth >90%? How did you guys pick yourself up again?

I probably am able to make it through this phase and 2 more years of uni but I’m not sure if I’m ever going back to my peak net worth again. On the bright side, I still have my family, lifelong friends that see me for who I am and a healthy life. And that to me is more important than numbers on a screen.

Here are what netizens think:

• If it is just paper loss, you never really own it in the first place. Avoid putting all your eggs into the same basket next time specially in very speculative yet unproductive investments.

• Sigh I can empathise your situation cos I’m in a worse shit. But just bite the bullet and move on, believe market will go back up and believe the money can be earned again. Chin up and move on

• What you have lost is only 2 years of time. Take it as a learning opportunity. You are still young, with many years ahead to rebuild it.

I just want a sanity check. I was talking with my friend recently, and we were catching up with each other’s lives. My friend is a Chinese man and an Indian woman. He was talking about one of his cousins, we can call him Tom (27), and mentioned that Tom is getting married soon. I was surprised, I hadn’t known Tom had been dating, but my friend explained that he had been seeing a girl for about a year now. My friend then mentions that the girl is 19. When I expressed my surprise at the situation, my friend just shrugged and told me that “these kind of girls get married early.”

I grew up in a normal neighbourhood so I know that his statement isn’t really true, or is a non-informative generalization at best. But for the rest of the night, I couldn’t help but feel weirded out about the idea of a 19-year-old woman marrying a 27-year-old man. I can’t help but look at Tom in a new light–a creepy light. Several friends of mine have been equally weirded out, but weirdly, not many of my male friends have found it strange, no matter what their ethnicity.

Am I getting worked up over nothing? What would your reaction be in this scenario?

Here are what netizens think:

• I’ll never understand why other guys who do this. I once had to work with a dude who was like 45 at the time (I was like 24 for reference). Once on a lunch break he asked me if I knew any cool spots to pick up chicks, I told him I didn’t and asked if he was into clubbing. He told me he was, which surprised me cause he had a very “homebody” aura to him.

• I don’t understand why it’s not weird to some people. Yeah, it wouldn’t be weird if a 30 year old married a 38 year old. But that’s not because of the age gap itself ; it’s because of the amount of life experience already had by each. 19 has no experience at all. Nothing. Likely can’t even regular her own impulses yet. It’s not okay.

• I’m married to a man who’s six years younger than me. I would never have dated him when he was 19, he would have annoyed me like it’s no one’s business. His own mother describes him as being 35 since he was 15, but even with that he still woods have been too young. At 28, when we started dated he had a really good idea of who he was and what he wanted in life. He had done things and wasn’t being taken advantage of. We were both adults, and I didn’t have any power over him due to an experience gap. We’re equal partners in our marriage and parenting our children because we treat each other as such. I don’t think anyone should aim to have an experience gap over their partner, it really makes things unbalanced.

My boyfriend is quitting his job and wants me to provide for him

My boyfriend and I share an apartment. I go to uni and work part time while he only works part time and doesn’t go to school.

Last week he told me he was enrolling into school again and I was happy for him but then he said he’s going to quit his job.

So now he expects me to pay all the bills and also provide for both of us. I would provide for both of us if I could but I can’t.

I suggested he worked on the weekends only so he could help with some of the bills around and I’d handle the rent but he doesn’t want to.

He insists my job is good enough to pay for everything and he says I should work harder. I don’t know how to nicely tell him that I can’t provide for him without sounding selfish.

Netizens’ comments

1. Some conversations can’t be all nice. Your BF is being selfish. It’s clear that neither of you have a lot of money. Well, life is hard – and you need a partner who will pull his weight. If he can’t work at least as hard as you work with school and part time work, he’s not the partner you need.
2. Just imagine yourself with him 10 years from now – trying to juggle work and being a mother – and his expecting you to do it all because he has a job and no energy for sharing the load at home…
3. Stop worrying about being nice and tell him, “I love you, but you need to do your share – I cannot and will not support you if you aren’t doing your part.”
4. Why are you still with him, ask yourself this, are you his girlfriend or his mother?

hey, so sorry if this is a silly question. but i said i’d ask on here because i don’t know where else.

i, (18F) have always been really wet down there. in the past, when getting frisky with my boyfriend, i would leave actual wet puddles on his bed while being fingered.

i would drench his leg while grinding on it before we f each other. and then during actual intercourse, it was so wet and we never needed lube or anything.

i don’t wanna go into details but we weren’t intimate for a good few months (we weren’t actually together back then, it was just casual drunk hook up.) now we are officially together, we live together, and i have become dry down there.

it’s not that he doesn’t turn me on? i love him, i find him so hot, and i want him to f me. but i just don’t get wet like i used to. i have to spit on my hand and rub it on him so that he can fit inside me.

how can i fix this? it’s really embarrassing for me, and i want a better experience for him (and myself) , because he’s commented in the past how he likes how wet i am.

does anyone have any advice? would be much appreciated.

Netizens’ comments

1. Make a gyno appointment and see if anything has changed?
2. Lube is such a great idea it makes it so much easier.
3. There is nothing wrong with using some lube. Get a good water based one.
   Maybe have a drink ?
   I suggest he give you more foreplay to help you get more wet before PIV.
4. Are you on birth control when you weren’t before? Birth control completely took away my ability to get wet
5. Easy solution. 69 before penetration so that both you and him are slimy and easy for him to go in.

I (26f) have been with my bf (27m) for 3 years, the amount of times we make love is poor and infrequent. I’m not sure what I should do?

We have had many conversations about it and what I like / he likes and regardless how I go about the conversation he becomes defensive and offended.

After being together the first few months he told me he doesn’t like to give oral and so he doesn’t do it and I in turn said I won’t do it because it’s not fair.

The while thing is very much like a transaction with him, its never serious or passionate. It’s always the same, we arrange a time to get intimate with each other, meet in the room, take our own clothes off, get into bed, barely any kissing or foreplay and then just gets to it.

I have asked him many times for more foreplay but he will do it once but will fall back into the same routine. I want spontaneity, fun and passion. But I don’t get any of that and it’s been 3 years.

On average we f about once or twice a month (we live together with no kids). I am unsure if I should leave due to the intimacy being poor and if I do, I am unsure what to say.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings and the other aspects of our relationship is good but it’s just the bedroom part. I have tried lingerie and making the first move but he will always turn me down.

Netizens’ comments

Well, here’s the reality that you laid out.

• You have a high libido, he has a low libido
• He doesn’t satisfy you in bed and he won’t get better, because he doesn’t accept feedback
• You currently have no kids, so this is about as good as it’s gonna get
• The whole thing is very transactional to him and lacks passion.

Unless you want to have a bad sex life for the rest of your life it’s pretty clear that you have to leave him.

He made me climax multiple times for like an hour but he didn’t?

He’s 11 years older than me but fr he’s the best in bed and probably the best date I’ve ever had. I’m 27F and he’s 38M.

We met for a lunch date which was very rare for me from tinder – most guys would ask to meet me dinner time. I told him I was on my period so he thought nothing will happen and yet he invited me to meet for lunch.

He’s probably the hottest 38M I’ve met in my life and he’s really fit. First few seconds of our date – we really just couldn’t stop staring at each other and we really vibed and just laughing the whole time. I really had a great time.

I told him I actually don’t have period and it was false alarm the past few days so something happened between us.

I couldn’t count on my fingers how many times he made me finish. I’m the one who’s tired and he was still willing to do it for like an hour —but he didn’t finish?

He told me he was holding it back cus he still have to focus at his work meeting after. I just couldn’t believe it and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

He also kept staring at me while f-ing me which I like since I love eye contact. We literally was having eye contact while he was f-ing me – was it more or he’s just into that?

He texted me after that he wants to see me again.. I think I’m in love.

Netizens’ comments

1. Keep him around. He is prioritizing you, which is sometimes difficult to find.
2. I make love with my wife occasionally without getting off. Some guys are way more into getting women off than they are getting themselves off.
3. You mean people get intimate with each other without eye contact? So they keep their eyes closed?

So, I (21f) have been dating a guy (21m) for about a month and a half now. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last night, we got the farthest we’ve ever gone.

I’m a virgin and he knows this. We were doing a lot of kissing and grinding. It got to the point where I placed my hand on his instrument, but it was soft.

He said he didn’t know why it wasn’t harder that he was embarrassed. I told him not to be embarrassed, I know these things can be normal and it’s OK.

OK, moving forward, he actually pulls it out. I start touching it, but it instantly gets softer. Of course I don’t know what I’m doing but.

I’m not trying to think anything negatively, but I feel like maybe it’s me ? I don’t know if that’s selfish to say, but he was saying no it’s not me, and that he doesn’t understand why this is happening. And that he’s so attracted to me.

But, I feel a little weird? Like it knocked down my confidence? Is this selfish to think? Either way, he couldn’t get it up and he was very embarrassed. He said he’s going to change his diet and stop handling himself with x rated stuff.

I just don’t know what to think? Could it be that he’s not attracted to me physically but likes me? Or nervous? I know it can be a mental thing. Or maybe even lifestyle.

Netizens’ comments

1. This is normal. These things can be like tinkerbell- sometimes they disappear if you stop believing in them. I bet he was just nervous and I doubt he needs to change any of his habits. I bet if you keep seeing this guy the problem will magically disappear before you know it. Being a good partner in your situation means being encouraging and not taking it personally.
2. This is not uncommon for guys the first time you get intimate with them. He is probably just nervous, and nervosity can kill any hardness straight away.
3. Guy was probably just nervous. Happens to the best of us.