So it started with him making statements to insinuate I’m fat & look horrible in makeup. I see those as jokes.

Then he whacked the head on random days. Whack, not pat. I told him it’s bad behaviour and to stop it. Hitting the head makes peop dumb, not an acceptable behaviour.

Then we got into arguments. He remained silent and ignored me. That triggered me. I started shoving him. At one point, he got mad and the lethal kicks came.

2 nights ago, we got into a very very heated argument. Something blew off in him and he slapped me. Not once. Of cos I retaliated and it became a fight. There were slaps and tussling. I fought so hard my ring finger got bruised. Visually blue blacked that night. I slapped him so hard, his spec flew off.

I told him I gonna divorce him if he hit me again. He continued to hit me. Then he went off.

When I started eating dinner, I realised my left jaw hurt from eating. The realisation that my husband is getting increasingly violent yet unrepentant hit me hard. That got me upset. I started crying and wailing. Literally. He told me he didn’t give a shit if I might be P+ and threatened to kick my tummy. He asked me to cry louder. This conversation repeated twice.

The next day, he behaved as in nothing happened. And upon my silent treatment and insistent that he apologise for his bad behaviour, he apologised. Then his message came to say he is sorry for hitting me. I felt bad because I hit him very hard too. My ring finger bruised from whacking him. I got minor blue blacks on both hands and a visible blue black on the back of my right arm which hurt.

Here are what netizens think:

• why are u wasting time to get back and all? just leave. also why fight back like that? u only hurt urself. he’s not a man. man don’t hit women. just leave

• He doesn’t care if you are pregnant and threaten to kick you and your potential unborn child (if you are really pregnant la). Like that also then act like nothing happened? This is an abusive narcissist! Stay far away…….. unless he repent and really work on himself to change his ways.. only God can save him if he wants to save himself. But really like people say.. real men don’t hit women.

• A real man should never hit a woman. A good woman should never hit a man. Talk it out, maybe there are deeper issues involved in the marriage. Be truthful and discuss the issues like a matured couple. Marriage is not without quarrels, but it should be constructively handled to make the bond and love stronger.

I am married to a NUS masters degree graduate from China. 4 years and 1 child into the marriage, she has expressed that she is ashamed of me. Because I am not a degree holder, I am not Chinese, I can’t play musical instruments. The fact that I make close to 3 times more than her didn’t help. We haven’t had any forms of intimacy for months and I have noticed that she is very particular about her appearance and also she has been coming home late at times. At these signs of her having an affair now? I was married to my wife four years ago and since then we have been blessed with a beautiful child. As a family, we have been living a very comfortable life together and I am thankful for that.

However, lately, I’ve noticed a change in my wife. She seems more distant and has been coming home late at times. She has also been more conscious of her appearance and taking more time to dress up before going out.

I’m not sure what has been going on, but it’s been noticeable enough for me to take note of it. I am aware that my wife is a NUS masters degree graduate from China and she is quite proud of her education and background.

I, on the other hand, do not have a degree and I am not Chinese. I also cannot play any musical instruments. I am sure this has made her feel ashamed of me at times.

My wife and I have not had any physical intimacy for months. I had been hoping that things would eventually get better, but it seems like they are only getting worse. I am now worried that she might be having an affair.

I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but the signs are all there. I am sure that she is not happy with me and probably feels like she deserves better. I understand that she wants more from life and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy.

The fact that I make close to three times more than her doesn’t help. I know she is proud of her degree, but it doesn’t always translate into financial success. That can be a source of tension between us.

The bottom line is that I want to make things better between us. I want to show her that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. I am willing to learn a musical instrument or go back to school if that’s what she wants.

I don’t want to accuse her of having an affair without any proof. But I am also not blind to the signs. I just hope that I can get to the bottom of this and make things better between us. Only then can I be sure that she is not having an affair.

AITA for not being generous?

Met a girl a couple of weeks back, been hanging out quite a fair bit.

Each and every outing consists of me paying the bill for her shopping sprees, albeit inexpensive. (less than $1,000 in total).

She never once offered to go dutch, and I never brought up the subject.

Recently I had the chance for a sleepover at a budget hotel and nothing happened as she candidly expressed disinterest to do the deed.

AITA for not wanting to continue to pay for her expenses and draw a distance? It all started a couple of weeks ago when I met this girl. We hit it off and started hanging out quite a fair bit. It was a nice change of pace, as I had been single for some time. I was really enjoying getting to know her and thought things were going great.

At first, I didn’t really think much of it when she asked me to pay for her shopping sprees. They weren’t too expensive so I figured why not? I thought it was just a nice way of showing that I cared. But after a while, I started to realize that she was expecting me to pay for her every time we went out. It started to add up and I was starting to worry that I was just being taken advantage of.

I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and make things awkward. I was hoping that she would eventually offer to go Dutch, but she never did. I was too embarrassed to bring it up, so I just kept paying.

Things got even worse when we were talking about having a sleepover at a budget hotel. She expressed disinterest, and I could tell that she was just stringing me along. I was starting to realize that she was just using me for free things, and that I was never going to get anything out of our relationship.

At this point, I was done. I was tired of paying for her all the time and not getting anything in return. I decided to draw a distance and make it clear to her that I wasn’t going to be taken advantage of anymore.

This has left me wondering: AITA for not wanting to continue to pay for her expenses and draw a distance? After everything, I’m still not sure. On one hand, I don’t think it was wrong to not want to be taken advantage of. On the other hand, I feel like I should have been more generous. I guess it’s a matter of opinion.

All I know is that I’m not going to be taken advantage of anymore. I’m going to be more mindful of who I’m spending my time and money with in the future. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not going to let it happen again.

Asshole company wants their laptop back after retrenching me

I have just been retrenched. The company I was with hired me through an Employer-of-Record arrangement as they do not have a legal registered entity in Singapore.

A few weeks before I was retrenched, I received a signed letter from my employer confirming that I have passed my probation. However, as the letter did not come from the Employer-of-Record, I was given much less payment in-lieu of notice as the company argued that the letter of confirmation needs to come from the Employer-of-Record.

I disputed the arrangement, and called the company out for being disingenuous. I also told them that I will be holding on to the company laptop until they honor the letter of confirmation they gave me.

I have already received my last payment from the company (without the full payment in-lieu), and IT is reaching out to me now to return the laptop.

I have two questions.

1. What are the chances of making the company pay me the full sum in-lieu of notice if I bring the letter to MoM?

2. What are the repercussions if I choose to just ignore IT’s request and keep the laptop anyway?

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s not gonna make them feel the pinch or anything. It’s a company. They loose one laptop they can replace many others. I’d just save myself the grief and return what dosen’t belong to me.

• Very often, laptops are considered cheap company assets anyway which can be written off. Especially if you intend to remain in this industry, holding onto the laptop (even an expensive high end model) as “hostage” will hurt you in the long run as this company will always use it as a means to get you blacklisted as a “criminal and thief’

• after so long not yet return. omg. why you can’t return when you are not the owner at all.

• Well.. refer to the contract. If the contract got nothing on this, it is their property, have to return. If goes to court, assuming they want to bring you there, you not receiving the compensation you want wouldn’t be considered as it is a seperate matter altogether.

 I’m not sure how or what should I do

Me and my wife has been in an unhappy marriage due to previous arguments where i have shouted at her and being aggressive in talking towards her. I have tried really very hard to try to please her but till now nothing works. And recently she also told me that we will not be like last time any more. And don’t even allow me to intimate with her. I don’t really know what to do. Anybody out there can advise? I’m not sure how or what should I do. It’s been a few months since my wife and I have been in an unhappy marriage. Our relationship has been strained and I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to fix it.

We’ve had our share of arguments, and I’ve been the one to lose my temper and shout. I can’t deny that I’ve been aggressive in talking to her, and it’s not something I’m proud of. I’ve tried to make up for it in different ways but nothing has seemed to work.

Recently, she told me that things won’t be the same between us anymore and that she doesn’t want me to be intimate with her. I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do.

I want to make things better between us but I’m not sure how to even start. I don’t want to make things worse by saying or doing the wrong thing. I’m stuck in a rut and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she just brushes it off and won’t really talk about it. I’ve also tried apologizing for the things I’ve done wrong, but that hasn’t seemed to help either.

I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to make things better, but I’m not sure what that should be. I want to be able to make things right between us, but I don’t know how.

If there’s anyone out there who can offer advice or tips on how to fix a marriage in this situation, I’d really appreciate it. I’m not sure how to proceed and I need some help. I’m desperate to make things better, but I’m not sure what I should do.