Advice

My bf and I talked about the issue of having kids. He says he does not want kids, and thinks this view is unlikely to change in future. I’m currently on the fence and not sure yet for the future, but do not want kids in the next 3 years after marriage (maybe 2 years from now). He is afraid that in future, my “unsure” will change to a “want” due to development of parenting instincts/love for kids. Then at that stage, one party has to compromise (bf give in to either have kid, or i give in and not have kid), and be unhappy while the other feel guilty. But on the other hand, this is like a future unknown unknown and other aspects are great. What should we do?

Here are what netizens think:

3 things you both need to agree on before even discussing abt marriage:

– Kids….both have to agree whether to have them and how to raise them

– finance…who pay for what

– In laws….how to deal with each other in-laws

If you both can’t agree on any of these 3, don’t get married because love for each other is not enough

• When it comes to having kids, if it’s not an unequivocal “HELL YES!!”, don’t do it. Your bf is childfree while you are a fence sitter. You are incompatible. Period. Break up now to not waste more of each other’s precious time.

• Iif he stand his ground and not wanting kids and you are unsure about your decision about having kids you really have to seriously think about the continuing or ending this relationship. Cus having kids is not fun. if 1 party not able to commit the whole part will just crumble.

• Don’t bring a kid into this world if both are not on board with the idea unequivocally. One or both of you might change your minds down the road. Then again it’s not just the topic of having kids or not that will arise. There will be other issues that crop up. It’s whether both have fundamentally similar goals to start with.

• Have open and honest communication on this issue. If one partner wants children and the other does not, it can be a dealbreaker for the relationship. do consider the reasons behind each partner’s stance and whether there is room for compromise. If both partners are not ready for commitment and not loving each other enough, it might be best to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. It’s important to prioritize one’s own happiness and well-being…

I cheated with my female colleague and I feel very bad about it. What made it worse was that my wife witnessed the cheating…

I’m happily married with a wonderful wife with two kids. I work in marketing in an FMCG company and I’m constantly surrounded by younger female colleagues. Ngl, many of them are very attractive but I’m a faithful man who thinks with his bigger head.

However my life recently turned upside down. There’s this female colleague who recently joined, let’s call her G. G is in her late twenties and has a face and figure many women would die for and many men would go for. I was so surprised to find out that she was single (she gave me that information without me asking). G would constantly ask me for advice dealing with work matters and invite me to go lunch together with her batch. Sometimes we go for lunches and it’s just the two of us. G would constantly ask me what I was doing over the weekend and tell me what her plans were. She was actively using dating apps but none of the guys were up to her standards. She would often flirt with me (I think?) Like when we are alone she would playfully brush my arms and sometimes bump into me (too often for it to be by accident). She’d also tell me about her experiences with her dates and how they’re not good, and I’m so much better. I always felt a weird sensation whenever I hear that from her. It’s a nice feeling to be validated, but I’m married and it feels wrong.

One fateful day, as my wife had to use the car that day, she came to my office to pick me up. As I was walking away from the office with my wife, G somehow appeared out of nowhere and said hi to us and was extremely friendly towards my wife. G and my wife started chatting as if they were besties and they somehow ended up organizing a games night at my place that weekend. G said she’d bring her date over.

Fast forward to that day, G came with her date. Not sure why but I felt a tinge of jealousy seeing him. We decided to play some card games and I ended up partnering with G. This is when things went down. G was secretly texting me the cards she had in her hand and signalled me to read my phone. I got the hint and was trying to discreetly look at my phone. However, my wife caught me doing that and snatched my phone away and she saw the message from G. She acted like it was ok but after G and date left, she was so furious that I cheated with G during the games and my wife refuses to talk to me now.

How can I appease my wife?

Here are what netizens think:

• sorry dude if your wife caught you cheating, you’ll probably lose custody of the kids and have to pay large alimony fees. just suck it up and offer 2/3 of your salary to her and hope she doesn’t divorce you. lol.

• 5mins of my life reading that. 5mins that I will never get back

• Clever twist leh, not bad not bad  write a few more stories to entertain us pls

The place I work at requires us to wear these stiff uniforms. I was already turned on before heading to work but honestly was just lazy and went about my day.

As I was driving, the seam of my pants hit my “little sister” just right when I scooted my butt over a little.

I found myself moving my hips so the seam of the pants kept pressure on my womanhood going back and forth.

I found myself getting really close to “coming” and having trouble concentrating on driving, so I slowed down on the pleasuring myself, even though I wanted to climax right then.

Once I got to the parking lot, I pulled into a space and unzipped my pants and circled my “little woman” with my finger and quickly came.

I didn’t think much about someone watching me (although I should have probably atleast looked around first). I walked into work soaking wet after finishing myself.

I felt naughty all day but also it made my day so much better.

Netizens’ comments

• RIP her DMs

A girl shared how her boyfriend booked a hotel at MBS for them to celebrate her birthday but is afraid that he wants to ‘piak’ with her.

Your birthday is approaching, and your boyfriend has planned a staycation at the Marina Bay Sands (MBS) hotel. It’s an exciting time, but it’s natural to feel a bit nervous, especially if this is your first serious relationship.

Here is the story:

“Hi! As my birthday is coming, my boyfriend managed to book a hotel for both of us at MBS!

Although I can’t wait for that day to come, I am also very nervous because I don’t know what to do with him!

Is it true that couples stay-cay in order to have intercourse together?

I am still evergreen and he is my first boyfriend, I don’t want to screw things up because I refuse to cater to his needs. Any advice?”

Editor’s note: If you’re uncomfortable with it, please speak up and let him know about it.

2. Planning a Memorable Birthday Staycation

A staycation can be a fantastic way to celebrate your birthday. Start by discussing your expectations for the trip. This includes the activities you both enjoy, the atmosphere you want to create, and any specific surprises you may want to plan.

3. Setting Expectations and Boundaries

It’s crucial to be on the same page about your intentions for the staycation. While physical intimacy is a part of many relationships, it should never feel forced. Openly communicate with your boyfriend about your comfort level and boundaries.

4. Creating Meaningful Moments

Rather than focusing solely on physical aspects, aim to create meaningful moments together. Explore the city, try new restaurants, or visit popular tourist attractions. These shared experiences can help strengthen your bond.

5. Communication Is Key

Effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you have concerns or questions, don’t hesitate to talk to your boyfriend. Honest conversations will help build trust and understanding.

6. Exploring New Experiences Together

Trying something new can be exciting and memorable. It could be a new cuisine, a unique activity, or even a spa day at the hotel. These experiences will give you something to talk about and bond over.

7. Enjoying Quality Time

Make the most of your time together. Put away your phones, turn off distractions, and fully engage with each other. This can lead to a deeper emotional connection.

8. Understanding Your Partner’s Needs

While it’s important to respect your own boundaries, it’s also essential to understand your partner’s needs and desires. A successful relationship involves give and take.

9. The Importance of Emotional Connection

Physical intimacy is just one aspect of a relationship. Emotional connection is equally vital. Share your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with each other. This strengthens your bond.

10. Staying True to Yourself

Don’t forget who you are. A successful relationship involves both partners being true to themselves. Don’t feel pressured to change who you are to cater to your boyfriend’s needs.

haha i really hate how my mind becomes completely illogical when it comes to my crush.

basically he can just ask a simple question e.g how much do my braces cost?

immediately my mind will link to why does he want to know my braces cost, the price of putting braces is just a usual range of 3-8k depending on private or public a simple google search will do. then i will proceed to the conclusion that he is finding an excuse to text me.

if a normal platonic friend were to ask the same question, my mind does not go through this thought process. i will just dismiss that person as lazy, so lazy he cannot do a simple search.

a small remaining logical part of my brain knows the truth: my crush is lazy and wants a quick answer from me and he is not trying find a reason to talk to me.

ah.. having a crush is a magical feeling that is slowly leading me to death.

Netizens’ comments

He want to know if he kiss you and your braces break, how much he will have to pay and whether kissing you is worth the risk

A netizen shared how she lost all her guy friends because their wives see as her a threat as she is “hot”.

Here is the story:

“All my guy friends’ wives see me as a threat. I know because they expressed their displeasure and these guys told me about it.

These wives do not like it when my friends hang out with me but are ok if they hang out with other girls in our clique.

I asked myself honestly if I did anything to make them uncomfortable but the answer is no. I even tried to befriend the wives but they still see me as a threat.

I have zero interest in all my guy friends so there’s no way my actions would have suggested otherwise.

Frankly speaking, I think I am just average looking though most people say I am hot.

Really upset because I have lost these friends due to their wives’ insecurity.”

I’m tired of smelling my boyfriend’s farts/ass all day, every day

I sniff his laundry to check if it’s dirty or not, chances are that any bottoms smell like ripe butt. I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t sniff anymore–if it’s on the floor, it’s dirty.

He eats curry or pizza? Well, I’m screwed for 24 hours. Constant fart odors in our room all day. I leave and come back, walk into fart zone. There’s a literal scent threshold that I cross in the door frame.

He hasn’t showered for more than 1 day? Swass through and through. Sitting down, standing up… even during intercourse if his cheeks are spread, I smell it.

I’m so tired of smelling this smell. I don’t know what to do. Is this normal for men? I’ve been with him for almost 7 years. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I never noticed until now or if he just stopped caring!!! Does this mean I don’t love him anymore? Help!!!!!!!!!

Oh and sometimes he doesn’t brush his teeth for a couple days.

Someone please save me.

Guess I should point out that when I say “bottoms” that doesn’t just mean underwear. I won’t sniff underwear. I mean jeans, sweatpants, other pants that don’t have stains on them so they look wearable again, but somehow they sometimes carry the butt smell. And tbh I didn’t think that was possible but it’s something Ive been noticing more and more lately so it’s weird.

A netizen shared how his/her brother has been posting explicit images of himself online and found contraceptives inside his bag.

Here is the story:

“Seeking sincere advice… what to do when your sibling goes engages in “wild” activities?

It was pure coincidence that I found out but at the age of 20, he was posting explicit photos of himself on Twitter and had condoms in his bag.

I was so shocked because it felt like I had been living with an entirely different person all these while as the usual behavior at home was a goody-two-shoes to our mum.

We had a big quarrel between us about him asking me to not control and just let him be and have not spoken much since 1 year ago, but I didn’t expect to uncover that he seemed to have gone even wilder after being given free reins.

Yet, he still remains the goody two shoes in front of the mum and every time I see it, it just feels so hypocritical to me.

I know technically I have no rights to care since he is no longer a child. But is it really right to not care?

Though he would probably not even care for whatever I say anyway (his personality has been that he is always deemed right and would never stop at getting what he wants; fun fact: he has also never apologized for anything before for as long as I can rmb)

so I’m also at my wit’s end on how to stop him even if I want to… this dilemma on what is the right thing to do in such circumstance has been eating into me and troubling terribly…”

My wife finally told me her secret.

After 15 years of marriage she tells me she never loved me. That she was pressured to marry me. That she will never love me the way I would want her to. That my son is the only reason she stayed.

Ended with her saying every time we slept together, a piece of her was taken away but just didn’t have the nerve to tell me

Netizens’ comments

• Take off the last sentence and switch genders and you are writing my exact same story from 5 months ago.

• It hurts right now but I promise you with every passing day, you will feel lighter and freer without the crushing weight of their unhappiness baring down on you.

• You will stop believing you are who they said you were and you remember who you are. It’s awesome on the other side.

• You’ve got this and God speed!

• Communicating openly and honestly with your wife is vital at this point. While the revelation may be hurtful, it could be the first step towards finding a resolution, whether that involves seeking counseling or potentially making decisions about the future of your marriage.

• Remember that you have friends and family who care about your well-being and can provide support during this difficult time. Seek out trusted individuals with whom you can share your feelings and thoughts.

• In such moments of deep personal turmoil, it’s crucial to remember that you are not alone, and there are people and resources available to support you. Take things one step at a time and give yourself the space and time you need to heal and make decisions for the future.

• It’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being, as this revelation can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional state. Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to help you navigate these challenging emotions and make the best decisions for yourself and your son.