Quick question here; do guys only like skinny/fit girls? or do guys get attracted to chubby/fat girls as well?

Im on dating apps but too afraid to show my photos that can see my real weight but at the same time i won’t be able to meet the guy i match with when he doesn’t know that i’m fat. i’m ashamed of my weight and i’m working on it now but i’m also hoping to date someone whilst i’m losing off my weight.

My looks is kinda average but wouldn’t call it ugly. just need to lose away my weight.

Netizens’ comments

• Maybe you can let him know that you are on the mission to lose weight before the conversation continues further. If the gut just goes for 100% looks, then I’d rather you spend your time working out than meeting him.

• Some attracted to skinny, some to a little meaty, some like fat and some whose liking evolved from skinny to chubby..bottom line, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

• Guys like curvy skinny or curvy meaty. Then skinny. Guys dont like fat and out of shape.

• I like big butts and I cannot lie. No, really. Them skinny girls with chicken legs I cannot.

• Be confident! Beauty comes in different sizes and shapes. I used to be 68kg when I met my husband. I am 50+ now. We lose weight together but gained back together too.Beauty lies on the eyes of the beholder. A beautiful personality is more attractive. Good luck, dress up and smile

I’m in my mid-30s and have always been a member of the IBTC. My chest is so small that I don’t even fit a 32A, and all my life, I’ve dealt with people (men and women) making fun of me for not having much on top.

People would tell me that I’m not a “real woman” or I’m unattractive or men only want women with larger assets and that I’m pretty, but it’s too bad that I have a flat chest (yes this has been said to my face). I once overheard an (ex)boyfriend complaining to his friend that I’m great and he likes everything about me, but he’s disappointed that I have small assets–that I’d be the “perfect girlfriend” if they were bigger

This plus constantly seeing ads only with sexy, voluptuous women as the ideal really took a toll on my body image. I’ve always been so self conscious about it that I seriously considered getting implants to look more feminine and like the “ideal woman,” but the cost, recovery, and other factors held me back. I would read articles on how to make them bigger, and what kind of supplements I could take.

But recently I came across some communities online that celebrate flat chested women like us. I’ve never seen this much support in one place for them.

I may have read an article here or there of “don’t feel bad, embrace your body!” but I’ve never come across anything with so much positivity about being flat chested, and so many women embracing it.

I realized also that there are tons of very pretty bralettes that look absolutely amazing on women like me. Scrolling through all the positive posts really changed my thinking about myself. I bought a bunch of pretty bralettes, started wearing them and learned to love my small little girls.

Now I’ve fully embraced them and don’t give any thought to having a bigger chest. If someone doesn’t like them, fine whatever, I don’t care. I like ’em 🙂

i have a really big secret that i fear can catch up with me. i was a sugar baby, and worked as an escort occasionally. just grad from fass a few years ago. wont say which major or which year, cos i want to be unknown.

i managed to get my tuition fees fully, give my parents and younger sister good $, and even enough to get a very nice condo unit just before i grad. that made me feel happy and proud of myself for a long time. told myself that i would stop after grad. and i did. but during covid period, i decided to resume a little to get some fast cash and also cos it felt a bit boring staying at home for a long time. but once i started, i just couldnt stop.

i could earn so much that i got really hooked onto it. the covid period is really crazy for business, i could get appointments almost every day and night of a month. the $ that i earn is easily more than a CEO’s pay. 1 night with one sugar daddy could give me my 1 month pay as a fresh grad. it felt unreal, like a fantasy. naturally, i quit my full time job cos i could earn so much more without putting in much effort. and having so much money than you have ever seen really messes with your mind. there is a thrill to easy money that is so hard to describe, and it also feels empowering knowing that i have so much power of men who lose themselves. and when we could finally start to travel, i went on free trips to so many places around the world with different clients, some of them really extravagant. everything felt so wrong, but i was having too much fun to care.

and then a few months ago, i met this nice boy that i matched on cmb who has been asking me out a lot. and i think he is someone good to settle down with. he is a good christian boy with a wholesome family and lovely home. i feel so welcome when i meet his family. every sunday i join them at church and we even went on an overseas trip together to help poor people. i feel really really happy with them, and it is so fulfilling doing some good for others after doing so many shameful things.

but the problem is, i am still addicted. i have more $ than i need, but a big part of me does not want to let it go. cos it really is a gold mine and i won’t be young forever so i want to milk the opportunity while it lasts. now that i am dating him, i dont go out with those men anymore, for fear of being seen in public and being found out. i just keep it to meeting in discreet places. and it really is addictive. i have no work in the day time, and the idea of killing a bit of time while earning a load of cash is often enticing. i quite regularly get clients who ask for a quickie during work hours, and it is just too tempting to resist when i am in my condo feeling bored of sleeping in, binging netflix and lying at the poolside.

he says that the thinks of me as a good girl. but i also think he might suspect that something doesnt add up. he knows that i have my own condo, even though my family is not well to do. i lied to him that i made a lot of money during the covid boom trading stocks and crypto. and it was a stupid, cos i know quite little about trading. and when he asks me for investment advice, i sound really noob and change the topic quickly.

i feel really bad and guilty. he doesnt know who i am and what i have done. i feel that such a good man deserves better than a whore. i think that couples should never keep secrets from each other, and that makes me feel distant from him. how do i tell him that i have slept with so many men than i could count, and done things that are so dirty and depraved that it could make people throw up? and i can tell that he is a virgin, cos he knows so little about a woman’s body. he is so pure-hearted, kind, doting and such a wonderful person, while i am the opposite.

it makes me scared when we talk about marriage, a future together. i keep telling myself to stop every time we spend a good time together, but i end up accepting advances from men who want to pay me to sleep with them.

how do i get rid of this addiction? sometimes i really feel strongly that i would be done with this lifestyle. i feel so much guilt that i cry my eyes out, promise myself that i will never go back to it again. but i tend not to last more than a week before going back to it. and it keeps happening in a cycle. so many times that i think i am numb to it. when i cry, it doesnt feel genuine anymore.

i guess i love the feeling of having a lot of money and having power over men who cant wait to part with their money just to touch me. but i also want to find love, settle down and have a family and home of my own. and i think i want the best of both worlds, which is why i am living a double life now.

do i really need to choose one lifestyle over the other? can i really not keep both? is it possible to keep things a secret till marriage, and then stop this thing once i am married?

I live with my parents and my younger sister. This year, due to my exams which contribute to me going to university, my whole family has been on edge.

For most of my life, I wasn’t really allowed to go out more than a few times a month but when I got a boyfriend this year, I obviously wanted to see him more. It is important to note that I met him at my job. As I hadn’t told my parents about him, it was getting hard trying to sneak out to see each other.

So, even though I don’t trust them, I told them about him. It all went wrong after that. Even though they promised to be supportive of the relationship and I still made plenty of time for my studies, my mother started calling me names and limiting my time with him from a couple of days a week to 1-2 hours around our neighborhood.

At that time we had been together 2 months. My bf didn’t like the idea of it but he didn’t want to anger my parents so he was willing to commit to those hours but I wasn’t, so I started sneaking out. Eventually, my parents found out and again, started calling me names such as being a woman of the night and using the term ‘first come first served’ because he is my first boyfriend.

They threatened that if I kept seeing him I would have to move out. To which I did, and they didn’t like it as a week later they started knocking on my boyfriend’s door and calling his workplace and causing trouble for him and myself. Because of that, I came back home, just so that they would stop harassing him, and they made me quit my job as well.

Now, I don’t have money for any of my little luxuries or even to go out, and when I ask them for money they say they don’t have any, but yesterday they came back from a five day holiday in Spain.

I am still together with my boyfriend, 4 months later, but I am considering moving and cutting any form of contact with them. My sister is not on my side and thinks I am just acting out and it got me thinking. AITA for never wanting to see them again?

So obvious trigger warnings //

Backstory, I  was maybe sexually harassed? last night by a friend and his friend. My friend and I just got to know each other a few months ago through a club and the conversation very quickly turned sexual. I was fine talking to him about it because I know I’d talk to my non-binary and female friends without an issue and I viewed him purely platonically so it never bothered me.

That being said, he kept mentioning how he had a friend who’d love my body and kept joking about me texting him every single day for WEEKS. He’d even send me blurred out nudes of his friend that I’d expressed I didn’t want but would give into because he kept asking me. Essentially to get him off my back I’d play along with everything sometimes but seeing as he would never stop asking me, I finally agreed to text his friend last night.

Within the HOUR this friend of my friend had asked to send me pics of his D multiple times and then started to describe touching himself to my texts? This is where I turned my phone off and started crying.

The next morning I texted my friend that I blocked his friend and would not be entertaining any more of this. He let me know that his friend would still pester him about me but I asked him to set a boundary as my consent is not there.

Despite all of this, despite knowing it’s not my fault … I feel like I asked for this to happen to me. I have been assaulted before by an intimate partner and this made me feel so similarly – but even then I blamed myself.

I feel like I just should’ve known better than to text in the first place or to engage in any of this conversation with my friend when he clearly did not understand my boundaries. I’m so worried about my reputation in this club we’re both part of, especially as my ex was ask a lady of iy, and I know that’s a huge reason I tried to brave through it and pretend I was ok with it.

Why I’m posting this here is also because I genuinely feel like this event will cause anyone new I date to feel repulsed but me and my actions. It’s causing me to spend any texting interactions with the guys I’m talking to thinking about how I need to tell them what an awful and weird person I am to have facilitated something like this.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m so sorry if this is the wrong sub but it’s literally making me feel like I have this awful secret now that I need to tell people. Will people I date actually be repulsed by what happened? Have I even done anything wrong?

Have been with my bf for 2.5 years, met through Tinder. Both of us were in uni when we first met and joined the workforce 1.5 year ago. He got promoted to a senior role and started getting really busy with work over the last 5 months. Our meetups were often shortened to just 2-3 hrs a week for a quick meal and catchup, to give him enough time for rest and to spend with his family over the weekends. We missed out celebrating for valentines day, mother’s day and my dad’s birthday during that entire period due to his busy schedule. My bf has always said sorry for not spending enough time with me multiple times every week and made promises to meet up with me more often.

His project has just ended and I was looking forward to meeting him more as his workload would hve reduced significantly. However, instead of making time out for me, he went ahead to fill his schedule for this entire week with meeting his friends for dinner and drinks, leaving the same 3 hr timeslot for me on a saturday afternoon.

I asked if he will be free next week but he say he will be starting on another project next week and will be back having overtime and a really busy schedule so he is unable to make time out to meet me. Yesterday, I saw a notification from his female friend saying 17 June would be a better date for dinner and out of curiosity, i opened the message. I realised he asked her for a catchup next week as he is free the entire week and gave all the evenings as available options to cater to her schedule. He also offered to send her home after the meal since it would be late (around 9-10+pm) and he wanted to watch out for her safety.

I confronted him about it but he turned it into an issue of me looking into his messages without his consent, which I then apologised. He mentioned that it is an old friend and he havent met her in 6 months hence he wanted to set aside some time to meet her. Sending her home would be a given as he has a car and he wouldn’t have to make much of a detour to return back home after that. I tried asking why he seemed very available to meet her and his other friends but not me, and all he ever did was to make it as if I am the one demanding too much from him. He said that he had discussed about his hectic work schedule with me early on in our relationship and he expected me to be more understanding and allow him to meet his friends during his free time.

Am I really asking too much from him? I feel very lonely in the relationship and I’m thinking of leaving if this goes on.

We’ve had several discussions on the topic of consent over the years, and several discussions of the dangers of alcohol. Recently the intersection of these two topics come up directly. In that conversation, my son was very quick to affirm/understand that a girl who was pass-out drunk couldn’t give consent and how, in his own words, “it’d be pretty f’d up to even try doing something with someone in that state.”

However, he seemed a little less sure-footed when certain aspects of the scenario were modified. E.g. “what if the guy is really drunk too?”, “what if the girl is just drinking alcohol to loosen up a bit?”, etc. My responses were starting to feel like “lecture-mode-dad”, and I felt like I was giving legalistic-sounding advice that might be hard for him to connect with in a real-world situation.

But in a flash of inspiration, I said, “Think of it this way. You and [his friend’s name] might agree that getting a hold of some alcohol and getting drunk at a party would be a lot of fun. You guys would definitely agree that going sky-diving would be all kinds of fun. But what would you say to [friend] if he called and said, ‘Hey! I got some beer and two passes to go sky-diving! Let’s get really drunk and then go sky-diving!'”

My son actually laughed aloud at the sheer idiocy.

I continued “Right!? I mean, first, sky-diving while drunk would be Darwin-award levels of stupid. But even if you survived… what was the point? You’d remember almost nothing about the experience itself, probably puke half-way through, have a crappy landing, and find yourself lying on the ground, bruised and battered and covered in vomit, wondering ‘what the f just happened?'”

He was nodding along, still smirking at the absurdity of the idea, when I connected it back to the topic at hand. “Think of having S with a girl you’re into as something you’d want to be like sky-diving: an exhilarating and memorable experience. Something that was done with all precautions to be sure nobody got hurt. Basically, a positive experience, shared between the two of you, that left you both feeling like, ‘Wow, that was great! We should do it again!'”

I could see his expression shifting into “OMG my dad is talking about S, the awkwardness, it hurts!”, so I wrapped up. “Just think of drinking alcohol and having S as an either/or proposition. Treat your decision – or that of a girl you’re with – to drink alcohol as being the *same* decision that you’re going to have that kind of fun that night, and forgo any sky-diving adventures until some other night.”

One can never know with teens… but I *think* this analogy really connected for him, so again, I figured I’d share it here for others to use.

I had to take a trip out of SG to perform work for a client of ours. This is a big prospective client that my company has and they wanted everything to go smoothly. However, due to a significant amount of poor planning, this project was a disaster. For context, I am an engineer working for a consulting company.

So, first off there is no kick-off meeting with the customer (just emails.) A kick-off meeting is a crucial part of getting things in order for engineering and consulting projects. In order to save time and money, however, my company likes to skip those. I did have a meeting with one of the project leads to get a scope of what I needed to do. He gave me the diagrams provided by the customer and gave me a rundown on what all needed to happen on site. He also told me it would take a day to complete the work so I should just plan for a day trip with a one-night hotel stay. And based on this, I planned for exactly that. He gave me the customer contact info to coordinate my onsite and I went from there.

Fast forward to me being on the customer site; first off as I’m pulling up I’m thinking “this place looks WAY bigger than what our diagrams have led us to believe.” Already I’m starting to feel that this is not going to go well.

I meet with my contact and we start discussing everything I need to do. This is where I find out a section of the warehouse I needed to do work in was several stories high… which when I talked to my project lead he informed me it was 1 story. There is also another section of the building I need to do work in that isn’t even in the diagrams given. I let my lead know this and I tell him I can’t finish this today, and our great office coordinators booked me a super early flight the next day so I couldn’t finish tomorrow.

He begged me to stay for another day and told me about a flight later in the day tomorrow that I would need to book myself. I was NOT about to pay $500+ for a later flight at my own expense (even though they likely would reimburse me) and also sacrifice part of my weekend. I told him no because I wasn’t given all the correct info or all the building diagrams.

Now that I’m back, I am being painted as the bad guy for not finishing out the work. I was also told I should have worked with the customer to get a better understanding of how big the building was and what they wanted me to do (by the same project lead who had a meeting with me in the first place to discuss the scope.) However, even when I reached out to the customer he took several weeks to get back to me and only told me the days I could come on site. Based on my schedule and what I was told for a time frame, I planned for one day.

Now the project might be in jeopardy and we likely will need to go on-site again to finish out the work properly. Many people at the company also seem to be disappointed and mad at me for just going home.

So, am I wrong for not staying on-site and finishing out the work even though I was misinformed