Having parents who are way too strict and overbearing does have its effects over time. But what are the negative effects which have risen because of it?

For me, it was mainly that I need to apologise and constantly need to prove my worth to everybody because my worth is equal to someone else’s validation. And I normally need second or third opinions in anything I do because I feel like whatever I do is ‘wrong’ or ‘not proper’.

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me but there just is okay.

People with overly protective parents, how does it affect you today?

Responses:

• Having to lie to them frequently or hide things from them. Can’t really share any problems with them either. I will think of solutions myself.

• Yea I keep my problems to myself. I realised 10 years ago I’m actually happier if I don’t tell them my things. If i tell them a negative thing I will be lectured that it’s my fault; if I tell them a positive thing or achievement they will dampen it.

• It’s actually typical narc behaviour. They want you to share, because your sharing gives them ammunition. They want you to overshare so you have no boundaries with them, then they can step all over you.

• I perpetually lie/not say the whole truth because I dont trust that they wont over react. My sis has no such issues though, seems like they got it right with her

• A serious lack of common sense and knowledge of basic everyday tasks and life skills even when I became a legal adult at age 21. It’s definitely had an impact on the way I bring up my kids. I always tell them it’s ok to make a mistake and that I’m happy to help them with things they find difficult or don’t know how to do – but they need to try to do it themselves first no matter what.

A girl shared how she hates the degree that she is studying for, which she used to be passionate about in the past.

Here is the story:

I hate the degree I was once passionate about
I’m now half way through my final year of study but everyday feels like an emotional burden. I’ve tried to stay focused on the positives but I now I just feel empty.

Luckily my degree is vocational and the job easily has vacancies available but the thought of working in the field seriously makes me want to quit everything.

I’ve mustered up the courage to tell my parents I don’t want to go down the conventional job route for the degree after graduating but I feel terrified to tell them I want nothing to do with it at all, especially since they have supported me so well since the beginning.

It’s starting to play on my mind now, I feel unmotivated, can’t focus on the work, don’t feel to reach out to friends much anymore or make new friends, I’ve stopped going to the gym and more.

I seriously want to escape from feeling this way but I also want to leave with my degree I once loved and worked so hard for.

Kinda feel violated by my GF

I’m 37(m) and I kinda feel like my gf violates me. When we get in arguments her way of getting out of it is to initiate intimate activities.

It has been getting worse and worse lately. We have been saving for a house for the last 6 months because I’m over this renting business.

This morning I noticed a charge from Gucci on our joint credit card for $863 bucks. Apparently, a clutch was more important than our future family home.

When I confronted her she began to grope me in an attempt to change the conversation. I informed her that I am withdrawing consent at the moment because I really wanted to talk.

She continued to push forward with unwelcomed touches. I know this sounds crazy coming from a man but it makes me feel cheap and violated.

Netizen’s comments

• Not cool… disrespecting your boundaries in a serious and harmful way. She sounds like she needs therapy (not being sarcastic)…you deserve better.

• They both need therapy. Him so he can heal from this and her so she can be taught that this isn’t okay.

• If this was gender reversed a lot of people would say he needs jail, not therapy. Not saying that as slight to you opinion, but an observation to the double standard. I agree. They both need help

My brother is 15, my sister is 17, and I’m 23f. This is really stupid and it shouldn’t have happened but it did. Now I just want advice on how to make it better. Also this is the story my brother told me as I wasn’t there.

He was in his room playing on his phone minding his own business. He got up to take out the trash. He came back to lay down im his bed. As he was laying down he noticed there dog walking out of his room. He ignored it.

Later on his sister 17 noticed clothes were missing. She went looking for it and found it in my brothers room. The problem was that is was wet and slimy. She immediately told our parents and they thought the worse. My dad, mom, and brother argued about it.

Rude things were said. Apparently mom said I knew you were weird but not this weird. My dad said I raised a predator. In the end my parents asked me to pick him up and let him stay with me for a couple of days. When I picked him up he didn’t say anything and just sat in silence.

He spent the entire time in the room he was staying in. He only came out for dinner. He skipped breakfast and lunch. His eye’s were always red when he came out so I assume he was crying. I’ve never seen him cry. Most of the time when he’s upset he just has a stone face so what they said must have got to him.

Finally at the end of the week he’s parents called me and said they wanted to talk to him so they came over. Before they came over I tried to talk to him but he ignored me. When parents came they apologised to him. Over the week they noticed more of sister clothes in his room until one day my dad caught the dog with my sister clothes.

My brother just said okay and went home. I tried to ask my parents if he could stay longer but they said that wouldn’t be necessary. Later on I got a call asking me what did he do over my house because he’s just been in his room all day at there house. Is there anything I can do to help him feel better?

Advice would be greatly unappreciated.

Edit little update:Good news. He can stay with me until Sunday. I had to lie a little to parents to get him to come. I told them he should get out the house because he spends most of his day sitting in one spot with online school.

They didn’t believe me a first but I said it would be a chance to get him out his room. They finally agreed. He was about to go to sleep so I came just in time. I think the plan right now is to just spent time with him this week. I’m broke so it’s gonna be mostly home stuff.

I tried to talk to him on the car ride. I asked him if he’s okay. He said he’s fine and we had a little conversation about his school. So at least he’s talking now. He’s in the spare room so everything is okay right now.

I’m a content creator for my Instagram and TikTok and I just recently got an email for an underwear brand that I love & wear all the time asking for a collab on my social media platforms.

I’ve always known my husband has always been uncomfortable with me posting anything related to me showing any skin, unless in a swimsuit, but didn’t think it would be too big of a deal considering I would be getting paid for it & getting free underwear from my favourite brand.

I already had accepted the offer and told the brand my sizes and told my husband about it the next morning.

He was upset and frustrated that I had accepted the offer and wasn’t comfortable with modelling in underwear on the internet. I told him that I was going to be getting paid and was only going to be in the underwear for a couple of seconds and that the underwear is very modest and not really revealing.

He still felt uncomfortable and asked me to email the company and tell them that I had changed my mind and don’t want to collaborate. I felt hurt that he didn’t seem to want me to feel comfortable in my postpartum body and be able to accept this brand that I have loved for years.

What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• It would’ve been ideal that you talked about it before speciallysince you knew that he might be uncomfortable, but at the end of the day it is your body and your work, also I dont get why a swimsuit is better than underwear.

• Relationships are partnerships. Of course you should talk to the other person about important. The only reason you wouldn’t talk about it is if you didn’t respect the other person or the relationship, at which stage you have to ask yourself why are you in the relationship at all.

So I am gay and I le other girls like me… I’m here in this country where gay rights are almost non existent and that also means no marriage rights yet! Most of my family is homophobic so I don’t tell them much about my life, I’ve come out to my parents but they didn’t take it well so I’ve stopped telling them anything

Now whenever there is any kind of family function every relative and every person in the party will make it a point to come and ask me what is my plans for marriage, I ask them why they so concerned and they be like I’m the youngest girl in the family it’s time you are 27 bla bla bla… for few instances I just changed the topic, but now it’s getting really annoying, now my answers are typically I don’t wanna get married, or why should I be married or I just ask them the pros of getting married and the last one I love when they struggle to find a proper answer

Anyways at a recent function one of my cousins (is like in her later 30s) asked me why I’m not deciding to get married, and if something is wrong with me (I kid you not she asked me this) and I asked her what does she mean by something being wrong with me… she said she recently saw my FB post where I was talking about gay rights and she thinks that I plan to “change my sides of interest” …. all I replied was how bad would it be if that happened? She said “you know you’re going to hell right if you change your sides” … oh my that was trigger point so i replied “oh ya! You’d know all about sins and going to hell, cause you’ve done a couple of them yourself (got pregnant before marriage .. not that I believe in all this but I was in a real Tit for Tat mood)

She got furious, stormed out went and complained to my parents about what a jerk I was and my parents and entire family have been calling me names!!!!

But how is it my fault when someone is like deliberately trying to trigger me!

I’m kinda curious about what goes through your heads when you see an ‘attractive’ girl – whatever that means to you. Physical attributes like height or the way she dresses, or non-physical attributes like hobbies, jobs, or things you have in common. Also if things like family, job, income, education or race matter to you.

Also is there a difference in girls you find attractive when walking down the street for example vs girls you want to date and how you want to meet them?

I’m asking because i feel like i’m super disconnected from sg culture and am tryna find someone but i have no idea what guys like or where to even start finding people!! (dating apps aside)

also pls don’t tell me to be myself because that’s clearly not going anywhere rn lmao thanks 🙂 all perspectives r extremely welcome n much appreciated lol

Here are a few interesting comments:

• Personality is everything to me. I want someone I can talk and laugh with when we are 60+

• Compatible values & life goals, Intelligence, critical thinking , Similar humour, personality, interests , Physically attractive

• There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”

The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.” The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

• I play table tennis, so if she plays the sport it’s a plus. And I feel if the hobby is rarer, the attraction rates go up? HAHAHAHA. I like to collect action figures. If she could participate in a 5 min conversation about it, she’s the most attractive woman in the world to me.

• I find a girl who can hold her own and always has this “bright spark” aura around herself and her peers very attractive. Can carry a conversation and an infectious positive energy ard her. One more crucial thing would also be how she treats others ard her too. If you ask about physique and looks, a nice smile. 🙂