I want to share a bit about my story. I’m a Malaysian,when I was 23 years old, I moved into my boyfriend’s house in an old 3-room HDB flat and stayed with his parents. The living room was empty, and his younger brother occupied an extra build corner room.

My boyfriend is an incredibly sweet, kind and positive person. He doted me a lot and ensure I never shed a tear. His personality has endeared him to many people. However, there’s a darker side to our situation.

His parents have proven to be quite toxic. They’ve been verbally abusive towards him and treated him poorly like owe them 100mil. They would scold and shout at him whenever they see him and frequently ask for money. Despite being in their healthy 60s, they refuse to work and spend most of their time in the kitchen smoking. everytime i open the kitchen door I thought the house got burned.

My boyfriend isn’t a high earner,and I’m been financially independent and will try my best to cover our expense. He gives 30% of his salary to his parents. He pays for their bills when they are sick and covers all the household expenses. They seem to have money for cigarettes but none for medical care. There was even an incident where his father used my toothbrush, and another time he entered my room and yelled at me for no reason. His father’s behavior even extends to walking around in just his underwear.

I’ve tried to maintain respect and ignore the nonsense they did to us. As our financial situation has become more stable, I’m eager to move out but we failed to ballot a HDB flat. My boyfriend is hesitant to consider a resale flat as he only has preference for new flat. We’ve had many quarrels about this and his toxic parents behaviour. I’ve endured all of this for years because I love my boyfriend deeply.

Now, I’m in my 30s, and I’m eager to start a family, but we are still stuck in this toxic situation.

A girl asked if she should start gaming so she can get to spend more time with her boyfriend.

Here is the story:

Should I start gaming because my bf likes it?

My boyfriend spends a lot of time gaming, but I am not a gamer at all. He is extremely passionate about it and I know that is good at it too. He is very close with his gaming friends, in fact his ex girlfriend was from the same gaming circle. They are no longer playing together but i cannot help but wonder if I should also start gaming with him.

I sometimes watch him play games and I will get lost on the map lol. He is not asking me to try and he is fine that I am not a gamer. I have other hobbies which I don’t try to get him into it either since I know those are not his interest.

Things have been going on well between us but with our differences in hobbies I don’t know if we will have problems in the future. At the same time I feel that having the space and freedom to do what we like individually is important too. We have been together for only 6 months but we really love each other and have made plans to get married in the next one year. Any advice will be helpful thank you.

Here are what netizens think:

• It is ok to have different hobbies as long as the hobbies doesn’t consume your life.You can join in just for fun but not necessary

• I love playing game and my wife love watching drama. She tried playing game with me but she don’t really like it because it’s complicated. So when I play game, she will watch her drama but we still sit beside each other and bond.

• Let him play in peace every once in a while or after he had helped out.

A girl shared how she broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years after she found out he was cheating, they even had plans to get married and even had a BTO and ring prepared.

Here is the story:

“My bf and I just broke up 2 months ago and I still can’t get over it. We have been together for 6 years and I am always the one talking about future planning. He would just keep quiet and follow the flow.

Our BTO is ready next year so the plan was to get married this or next year. He already bought a ring (under my pressure because I wanna get married and the house is ready next year) then I realized he giving me cold treatment and doesn’t talk to me. I feel something is amiss and I always ask him if something is going on and if he has anything to tell me. But he always no, he said he loves me. That’s all he said. I take his reply at face value so I thought nothing is wrong.

Found out he was cheating

Only after I found out he is texting and going out on dates with his colleagues. He is flirting with her and bringing her out to eat and play. To my horror because I trust him so much and never thought he is a cheater. After I found out, he texted me to break up and we will not be the same as last time because trust is broken. He didn’t even ask for forgiveness and a chance to get back to me.

Thinking back, I guess he already cheated on me 1-2 years back but I was kept in the dark. Our s– life has deteriorated that I am the one initiated and got rejected. His answer is he has a low s– drive or he is tired. He doesn’t feel turned on or passionate anymore. So I think he cheated back then because he is getting s– somewhere else.

I feel that I am really dumb and took so long to realize something is wrong with us. He is a habitual liar and he lies without blinking his eyes. I only found out his true color after we broke up. The tone and attitude changed so much that I could not believe he is the one I love for so many years.

Why can’t men be loyal

So the lesson I learned is that when you feel that the s– drive change, it is a red alert that he is getting s– outside. Also if you feel that he doesn’t talk to you or reply to you as fast as last time. It is probably he is talking or texting other girls.

Never trust guys who can sweet talk and give promises easily. They know girls will be happy and believe them. They can stay in a relationship with their girlfriend but still have FWB and hookups with no strings attached.

Why men can’t control their little bro and be loyal to only one girl? Is it really so difficult for men?

Women’s youth is very precious and they are wasting their time by keeping her while cheating outside. Guys should be more responsible and be morally upright!

I can’t accept Hookups and FWB is it because I am too conservative? Should I be more open-minded and not judge? I have no idea is it my issue or society issue anymore.

Ethically I feel that s– is an intimate connection with the one you love. Am I am too outdated? Human nature needs intercourse, I can understand.

But with strangers I can’t, I feel it’s dirty and disgusting. I can’t kiss someone I don’t know let alone sleep together.”

A netizen shared how she bought her boyfriend a Nintendo Switch as a surprise for the anniversary but is afraid he’ll find out before the anniversary as the box is too big.

Here is the story:

“Hi everyone, please help a sister out. I got my bf a switch for the anniversary and I have no idea how to surprise him. You see my idiotic self told him I didn’t get him any physical gift, just a voucher for a restaurant we both love. Given that the box is so huge, i don’t know how on earth I am going to bring it around without arousing any suspicion.

I know I dug myself into this hole but I was trying sooo hard to sell the idea that I seriously did not get a physical gift for him cos the dude would be able to guess what I got for him if he knew I got him a gift.

So to the switch lovers/gamers out there, how would you like to be surprised with a switch?

Thanks, everybody!

Editor’s note: That’s really sweet, surprise or not, I’m sure he’ll be over the moon.

Here are what netizens think:

• To have a gf that respect what the guys love, please marry her.

• What a dreamy girlfriend, my gf disrespects me and tell me to stop playing games.

If you have a $5,000 a month job and payslip, you can

1) borrow $60,000 of credit line

2) borrow $150,000 to buy a car

3) borrow $500,000 to buy a flat

Suppose A earns $5000, rents a room for $750 and saves $4000 a month. He has $50,000 savings in 1 year. $500,000 savings in 10 years. A $500,000 today property may cost $1 million 10 years later.

But If A borrows money today, he can get $700,000 loan immediately to buy a house, car and things. He gets to enjoy life without waiting for 10 years. For example a 4 room BTO costs $150,000 in 2003, and now costs $450,000.

That’s the importance of having a good payslip.

Imagine If A is a foreigner and there are 2.5 million of them, each getting $700,000 advance salary, that will be $2 trillion. But foreigners will most likely spend the $2 trillion in their home countries. For example 1.5 million malaysians working in singapore will buy cars and houses in Malaysia.

Here are what netizens think:

• I wanna know how A’s expenses $250 only
• it’s doable if you every weekend don’t go your fancy restaurant haidilao and spend $250 per weekend
• And for the temple breakfast, lunch and dinner really my house nearby everyday they provide so weekend can go eat then pray to guan yin.
• this is why education is important. if not how we know people trying to alibaba you with random quick math.
• some workplace do provide lunch/ dinner. For transport buy the monthly concession pass. Stay with parents to skip rental and utilities bills. But it’s hard to survive like that

i know i look good without makeup. i sometimes go makeup-free and i feel just as pretty when i wear makeup. but i have acne and i only do that when i dont have bulging bumps all over my face. he knows im insecure about that so i think he says this as a way to help, but he says this every single time he sees me with makeup. he likes to put his hand on my face and wipe it off and i freak out because he’s putting germs on my face and also making my cystic acne show. i really dont know how to make him stop without being rude.

ive told him that i dont like when he does this, but i know he thinks he’s helping so he does it again.

Here are what netizens think:

• Tell him you appreciate the compliment, but that you like how you look both ways and it’s not necessary to bring it up.

• This is a “doing bad by trying to be good” thing. Just be honest with him and tell him how you feel, just don’t do it in a way that might make him feel attacked for his past behavior, as I have an inkling he just doesn’t understand entirely. Make up to a man is often shown or advertised as “she’s trying to be beautiful” It took me quite a few years myself to begin to see it as an accessory, rather than whatever else I saw it as, for lack of a better word. He appreciates your natural beauty, he just doesn’t know you’re trying to accessorize or compliment that with some makeup.

• I had an ex try to get me to stop wearing make up, he turned out to be a huge control freak and jealous bordering on paranoia, he thought I wore make up to attract/impress other men (?). It then got to my clothes, he tries to control what I wore and make my style more ‚modest‘, while pretending to help me elevate my natural beauty. He got super mad when I told him to knock it off. It was all just controlling and abusive bullshit, which I think is happening here. Wiping off her make up because he doesn’t her to wear any is no different than ripping off her clothes because he doesn’t like them.

My boyfriend’s personality changed during the year he spent abroad

I’m (21F) My bf (20M) went overseas 3 days after he turned 19, He came back a week ago We’ve spent almost every second together during them. I’ve came to release that he changed.

I understand people can change but he changed a lot both ways he gained a massive amount of muscles and he became more handsome more than he was before and his personality changed a lot too.

He doesn’t look at the world from the same way I remember, his actions too I feel like he’s analysing everything around him and he’s always being cautious.

When I asked him about it he said “when you’re a alone in a country where your nearest relative is more than 7000kms away from you, you have to adapt and get used to what you have”

I’m not saying I lost feelings for him I love him deeply more than I can describe it. I’m just wondering what caused this massive change on him

Netizens’ comments

• Life experience changed him. To get specifics. You’ll need to make him comfortable enough to tell you about it.

What caused this massive change in him? Everything you said in your post.

• People change a lot at your age anyway, there’s a lot of maturing and emotional growth during this time in your life. 100%, him leaving home and being all alone in a foreign country is a VERY quick way to make someone grow up quick. You go from being a kid with mom and dad nearby to *everything* is on you. I’m not saying it’s a bad experience (having done something similar myself!) but it does have a big impact on people’s lives. You know how the people around you can help shape the kind of person you are? Well, for one year, everyone that used to influence him was gone. Everything was. And in place of all that he had a whole new life, surrounded by new people. It’s only natural that he’s going to take a little piece of all those interactions with him as he moved back home.