My (26F) husband (31M) is back to talking to his ex because I refused to quit my job

I posted last week because my husband wants me to quit my job at a company that I’ve worked at for 5 years.

This all started because I told him that my ex just took a position at the same company and will be working in a different department, meaning we wouldn’t be working together much.

He told me he wants me to quit and it’s non negotiable. He says he just doesn’t feel comfortable with the situation because although he trusts me, he doesn’t trust my ex.

Because I’ve worked hard to get to the position I have now, I told my husband that I can’t quit my job right now but will make sure to stay professional towards my ex.

Since I told him that, he’s been distant. He stayed out late this weekend and when I asked where he was, he said he doesn’t need to tell me since we’ve decided not to care about each other’s opinion.

He’s been constantly on his phone and tonight I finally asked him who he’s texting and he said his ex. I asked him why since it was my understanding that they haven’t talked in years.

He said if I can work with my ex, he has the right to talk to his ex.

I’m so upset that I had to leave to calm myself down. I’m not sure what I want to do when I get home. I don’t understand why this is turning into such a big deal.

I want to be the bigger person but for him to go back to talking to his ex when he knows it upsets me … I’m just hurt honestly. Any advice?

I was mortified. I kept apologising and I started crying. I felt so gross.

He was really calm and patient. He told me it had probably seeped through the mattress and we’ll need a sponge and washing up liquid. He cleaned it up without a fuss, flipped the mattress, placed a towel on the wooden boards and we put a new sheet on.

He told me not to be embarrassed and then he confessed that he used to wet the bed all the time, up until he was thirteen, which is why he knew exactly what to do.

He told me how angry his parents would get, especially when they couldn’t afford a new mattress, how his dad used to hit him for it, how worried he was every night. He said “don’t you ever think I’ll upset over something like this, because I remember how angry my dad would get and the last thing I ever want to do is be like him.”

I felt so much love for him then. I still do. I’m going to love him forever, I’m sure. He makes my inner child so happy. He makes me want to be the best and most loving and kindest person that I can possibly be.

Netizen’s comments

• This is so sweet. I’m glad you have someone that makes you feel safe and accepted when something like this happens

• This is good, but also please buy a waterproof mattress encasement. It’s also great for if you spill drinks or have pets.

I want to apologize for any typos I’m on my phone.

So Im 24 this year and had a birthday today and my whole family went to celebrate. My partner (M28) planned the whole thing and didn’t want to tell me. He wanted it to be a surprise. I have never liked surprises. I think he knows as much. My father also planned some of it, so he wasn’t in the dark about it.

Anyway, so the day starts out by driving to go bowling. Also a surprise but one I was receptive of. I love bowling. We then go to dinner which I was unaware of where we were going to. We get there and I quickly realize that this was a very expensive restaurant and something I wasn’t comfortable with. I hate spending money and people spending money on me.

My father asked what I was going to order. I said nothing. Instant looks for my family, already knowing what’s up. I typically don’t like to eat so this isn’t a shocker. They think I’m almost joking though, so nothing happens. The time to order comes around. I order nothing. My mother asks me if I’d rather leave. Drinks have been placed and everyone else has ordered. I refused since we already placed orders. We stay. I think they believed I would be eating off their plates. I didn’t. The dinner lasted nearly three hours and I didn’t eat a thing. Not even the dessert they brought out for me since it was my birthday. I was invested in not eating. The dinner cost $900 which is far too much for that. I hated it. I hate money being spent like that.

Now, they know I hate spending money on food and money spent on me. Just this July we went out to a pricy place (not nearly as much as that) and I didn’t order anything. We then had a conversation about it and how it makes me uncomfortable spending that much money on food.

The food is far too expensive and if my family chips in to buy me food I just feel gross about it. They know this much about me. They should after 24 years.

My father and husband have expressed how they really wanted to go to this particular restaurant in the past. I said I didn’t find the need to and didn’t care about it that much. That was months ago. They also say how it’s sad that I never want to go places. Ever. I’m an introvert at heart. My husband complains that I never want to do anything with him. So they know I hate leaving the house.

I’m going to have a conversation about it when we get home and explain my feelings. I felt like my birthday was completely ruined. My husband I can tell is upset that I didn’t eat. And I think he’ll place the blame on me. And I don’t want to make my father sad. So it’s a tough situation.

Am I wrong for refusing to eat a meal that would have cost over 1k if I had ordered food?

What netizens think:

• It isnt your money, how it is spent is not your concern. Causing unnecessary drama by sitting there refusing to eat is just nonsense.

• Sharing a meal as a family is as old as families. She could’ve ordered something light and picked at it. Spending $1,000 for a family celebration – no big deal. Spending $1,000 to be slapped in the face – a waste.

• She basically had a tantrum like a child.

We met in September, been basically inseparable ever since. He made it official on valentine. We had a rough start but he promised he would work on his issues and so far he has been absolutely amazing.

I have these doubts about his honesty even though he hasn’t given me reason to. In fact, he does many small things that should, in theory, show me that he is committed and honest about his feelings for me.

One of the things he does that I appreciate the most is that he calls me whenever he can squeeze in any time between jobs, even when he’s with other people. He also says some pretty damn sweet and romantic things about/to me in front of/to his friends, which is a big one for me because of the type of person he is—aside from his incredible sense of humor (he is the funniest person I’ve ever met), he is a pretty serious, straight to the point, get to work, no time to screw around and no BS kinda guy so

Whenever he expresses his love, appreciation, and adoration the way he does, as often as he does, it’s always kind of a surprise to me. Plus, there’s the fact that he spends most of his non-working hours with me and spends every night at my place. That counts for something, right? Lol.

So far my doubts and suspicions have always been proven wrong and I end up feeling like a total idiot. A few days ago I made a comment that suggested I have the suspicion that he’s only in it for the “special”, and he later admitted he was pretty hurt by that.

Why can’t I fully enjoy my relationship and this love that I am lucky enough to have found?

This is honestly what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I have always wanted a man who isn’t afraid to show how much he cherishes me, who says the most beautiful things, who constantly compliments me and shows me his desire for me, who is so considerate of what I might want and need even when we’re not together, whose actions clearly show that he thinks of me throughout the day, who acts like an old school gentleman… sometimes he doesn’t even let me put my own shoes on for fucks sake. I feel like I hit the jackpot, and the fact that he talks about forever, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and how I am the last and only woman he ever needs… it all feels so so perfect.

So I’m afraid my own trust issues will lead me to remain very skeptical, like I’ll want to keep myself at a “small” distance at all times, which could easily ruin everything eventually. How do I get over that?! How do you get rid of your trust issues?

Hi everyone. I don’t want to brag you with too much details, so I’ll shorten it as much possible.

One night, when my family and I were heading back to our house w our car, my dad accidentally read a suspicious text from my mom’s phone. When we got back home, my mom begged me to confirm her story that the text my dad read is text from my boyfriend that’s directed to me because my phone battery died. I agreed but with one condition; to stop texting him. At that time I didn’t know that she didn’t just text him but actually dated him, (and probably still does), because she had sworn to me that nothing else is going on but texts. After I helped her, our relationship has begun to fall down.

She’d always insult me in front of everybody, telling me that I was just a mistake, telling her side of family that I’m just like my dad’s sister, that I have no manners and that I’ll never succeed in life etc. I was really hurt by that but couldn’t do anything about it.

Today a friend of my dad’s confronted him and told him about my mom’s affair but she denies it. Idk what to do… I’ll worsen up my relationship w my mom that is already destroyed even tho I don’t have a clue why, i’ll break up their marriage and my dad will be devastated but I feel like I’m letting him down. I love my mom and dad and I’m miserable that such burden is placed on me and I don’t know what to do. Sorry about my grammatical mistakes, English isn’t the best

Please don’t say my mum doesn’t love me or etc, i’m sure she does. We have moments where she behaves nice to me and tells me that I’m well mannered and nice but most of the time she doesn’t. I’m their first-borned and they got married because of me (i was made accidentally) so maybe she just has a hard time considering the fact that everything started w me. She’s my mom and i’m sure she in the depth of her heart loves me, just doesn’t show it up often like she does w my brothers..

What should I do?

What netizens say:

You didn’t take part in anything. You mom did what she does best which is manipulate and lie to you. She has said terrible things to you and tell posters here not to say she doesn’t love you. You don’t know what love is because she has never shown it yo you. Some people are not capable of love. After all the horrible things she has done you want to protect her because you think it will get her to show you love. It won’t. She will continue to be a terrible person and treat you badly. Tell your father the truth. She will be nasty to you regardless but he deserves to know the truth. Don’t cover for her any longer.

My 28 y.o wife and I (30) have been married for about a year now. Except for a few hiccups here and there, we’ve had a very smooth relationship. We support each other and even spend a lot of time doing household chores together.

However, there’s a quirk of hers that I find very annoying. She’s very susceptible to catching a cold and she has a runny nose most of the times she has a cold. And she has this dirty habit of blowing her nose loudly into a napkin wherever she is; even when I’m sitting right beside her and having dinner. I try very hard to act like it’s nothing, but within, I feel disgusted and nauseated.

Yesterday, when she did that, we were having dinner and it almost made me retch. She noticed and asked me if everything was okay. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I told her that I found this habit of hers repulsive. I told her that she should’ve excused herself and gone to the bathroom. I put it across as delicately as possible, but she still got upset and said that it was “acceptable” to do that and that I shouldn’t fuss over what was simply “a bodily function.” This defensive attitude of hers irked me and I said, perhaps in a somewhat curt tone, that it was impolite and inconsiderate of her to do this in front of others, and that, as a woman, she should be more graceful and polished in her manners. When I said that, she simply stopped eating her meal and went away to the bedroom.

She’s been giving me the silent treatment since then and totally ignoring me. I’m not sure, but I think I might have heard her sobbing when I went to bed in the night. Even today morning, she didn’t eat the breakfast I’d made for her and had cereal instead. I tried to apologize but she pretended like I wasn’t even there. I kind of feel bad for her now. It’s “that” time of the month for her and she gets quite touchy and sensitive during that time. I think I might have been a tad bit harsh with her.

Here is what netizens think:

• What does her being a woman have to do with any of this? 

• When I read that, I still had the hopes that it was mentioned because they actually did it together. Like, a fun couples thing. Then, when the nose blowy thing started I still thought it could go two ways, if you really hate the sound or something you can discuss that.

• He’s so wonderful doing the womanly chores with her. Next time she needs to blow her nose she should wipe it on his sleeve. Show him what disgusting actually looks like

• Seriously, it was almost, almost understandable for him to feel grossed out

• My husband has this same reaction to blowing noses – he can’t even blow his own if he’s congested. And unfortunately I have allergies and constantly congested sinuses. And we compromise. Sometimes I step away, or try to be quiet and other times he just plugs his ears.

I eavesdropped on a group of girls at Sukiya. One broke up with a Doctor because the Dr ex-boyfriend told her that he may have to sleep in the hospital a few times every month while working there.

The girl told her girlfriends that she didnt want an absent father, thus she broke up with him.

WTF sinkie girls so naive one ar? as if doctor will not progress and forever be a houseman at a hospital working long hours?? how stupiak siol.

Then they also discussed about the proposal ring, must be how much then they accept. they said it must be something they struggle to get, must be several months of salary for the ring then they accept it. one bunch of stupiak GCP LOL.

my girlfriend also eavesdropped and said they most probably havent even come out and work, coz they were saying about their family buying air tickets for them to travel.

Looks like they are undergrad students, yet so naive…

Netizens’ comments

1. Sounds like the doctor dodged a bullet
2. Bunch of gold diggers
3. not all doctors are rich, some GPs make ok profit every month, high cost rentals, medicine, manpower, insurance etc, medical groups + government public hospitals doctors are slightly better, most money the doctors have to specialised in certain fields, even specific fields varies, example neurosurgeon command higher fees than urology etc
4. very likely these will be the same ppl who will remain single for the rest of their lives too. just ignore.
5. I overheard such bimbotic convo before, made me lost faith in sinkie women for 2 days
6. Hmm like you said, those might be undergraduate, still students.
7. Too young too naive!
8. Hahaha those girls are probably too naive to realize.. Consultants do their calls out of hospital..tahan HO, MO and reg, then consultant is stay home calls liao. Uhm… Not too smart those girls.
9. Your girlfriend agreed with them the proposal ring must be few months of your salary? How come you tell your girlfriend your salary?