I am in my 30s, I’ve been working on my online dating profile recently, and common advice is to include a photo of yourself with friends. It makes sense, but it’s hard to do when you don’t have either.

I’ve lived the last decade without really having any friends. It wasn’t intentional, but it’s just kind of happened. I’ve lost touch with all my friends from school, and since then everyone I have met has been through work. I have great relationships with a few colleagues, but at the same time they are not really interested in hanging out outside of work (they are older and have families anyway). And none of my interests or hobbies really require interacting with other people.

I feel my need for social interaction is fulfilled by my family and work friends. This doesn’t bother me. But I am concerned that it will be perceived as strange or a red flag. Obviously the solution is to make some friends. But I feel like if it doesn’t authentically happen, then it’s kind of pointless. I also don’t want to just use people. Or maybe I’m making too big of a deal about this?

Does this describe anyone else?.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m in the same boat, but I consider myself a little bit weird. I wouldn’t look at it as a red flag if the person I was dating didn’t have friends only because I understand what it’s like.

• most peoples profiles look like they havent spent a day of their lives inside, and I dont know about you but thats a turn off to me, I LOVE my ocassional down time haha. If you do manage to get pictures with some friends/coworkers/strangers make sure its obvious which one is you. I’ve been excited about a couple profile only to find out 3/4 pictures in that she was the comparatively unattractive one in her pictures.

My darkest secret guilt

TLDR: Dating for quite a while and we are in our BTO stage but didnt get it yet, however time to time i had quickie with someone that is not my partner.

So currently i’m dating someone for a long time, nearly 5 years, and throughout the years we had talked about getting married and stuff.

But what my partner doesnt know is, before we got together, i was constantly engaging quickie with people i met through CMB/Tinder etc, some even from knowing each other within a night.

So after we got together, i thought that i could finally be devoted and only do it w my partner but somehow or rather, my partner is not really keen in engaging such stuff. My partner felt that we are not ready to be parents and wanted to wait for marriage. We even did all those love langugue and stuff just to let my partner knows that i crave for physical touch.

So throughout the first 2 years, i held on to my ‘craving’ and stayed loyal but soon after, i had some BFF who was similar as me, difference is they were single. In the past we would go out and go back separately at the end of the night so u know what’s up. Somehow or rather, my past got hold of me and i went back to my old ways during the 3rd yr.

However everytime after i do my deed, and my next meetup with my partner, i would somehow felt abit of guilt but i know that those are just needs and urge for me, so i convinced myself again and again. Although 99% of the time i would only do it with protection, i went to do checkup for any nasty stuff on a yearly basis so i had to do it behind my partner’s back, in a way not to contract or spread it to my partner. I tried to be responsible as much as i can, but i just cant help but to get my needs outside other than my partner. It was quite a scary scene at first when i went, i even had to convinced one of my BFF to come along as i was surprised to see all sort of peeps there.

I tried convincing my partner time to time after our 3rd/4th year but the answer is always the same which is to wait till we are married. So needless to say i continue my ‘eat out session’ Even during our overseas trip together, i had to discreetly pack some protection and try to convince my partner but to no avail as there was no actions throughout.

So after we approached our 5th year, my partner suggested to get a BTO instead which i agreed. I tried to stop doing my eat out activities as it progresses but somehow i just cannot contain my cravings.

One of my close friend suggested that i should stop wasting my time and seek for a partner who is able to satisfy me but i still love my partner and would want to stay for life. Although i felt ashamed of saying this as it is cheating after all, but i do my best to actually subdue my own guilt by doing as much as i can.

As we progressed till today, we probably are the only couple out there who is dating for so long and yet to really progressed any further when it comes to bed activities.

Everytime i’m being conflicted by going to eat out with some of my BFFs and also on the other hand, i really would want to stop this and only stay faithful. I was being extra careful not to let any of my BFFs who eats out with me get to know my partner and vice versa, as its better to leave it that way.

Although everyone have a past, i really hope that my partner doesnt finds out about what i did before/who i was before we were together, and also what i have done so far. It would really be something i have to bring it to my grave.

I would like to seek advice from our fellow readers here, what are some of the ways i should do moving forward?

My fiance and I have been together for five years. He’s the love of my life and I literally can’t imagine being without him. So the thought of doing this is making my stomach roll.

He was adopted and neither he nor his parents knew much about his medical history. A few weeks ago, he met his biological brother for the first time and found out that his birth father had passed from Huntington’s disease.

There’s a 50% chance that my fiance also has the genetic defect that causes Huntington’s, but he refuses to get tested.

It’s not the disease I’m scared of, it’s the not knowing. If we know he’ll get it, we can prepare financially, practically, and emotionally. He says a positive test result will hold him back from living his life, but I feel like it’s the opposite. How can we live with this giant maybe looming over us? How can I make smart decisions on where to live, how to budget, or even whether or not to have biological children with this man if I’m not allowed to have all the facts?

So, I’ve come to the decision that I have to break it off. I respect his decision, but I can’t understand or accept it.

I have literally no one I can talk to about this because it’s his secret and not mine to tell.

I just want to clarify a few things up here:

1. I would not leave him if he tested positive for the defect. I would not leave him if he got sick. I just want to plan for us to be able to afford the best life and care for him if he does – which means we’d have to start immediately.
2. I don’t want or need ‘perfect’ children. That isn’t realistic. But it is possible to avoid them being subjected to a 50/50 chance of having this disease. Of course there are alternative options, but again: they involve preparation and planning. I’m more than willing to take a full genetic panel as well.
3. Yes one or both of us could get cancer, or permanently disabled in an accident, or any other number of things. But I’ve come to learn that you can’t plan for every unpredictable thing life throws at you – this is the rare occasion that we do have the opportunity to prepare.
4. Essentially it comes down to the fact that we’re incompatible, regardless of how much we love each other. I’m a planner and he’s very laid back. Until now, these traits have complemented each other, but unfortunately they’ve brought us to an impasse that I don’t think we can both move forward from happily.

A woman shared a story online of her ridiculous husband and she is looking at options such as a divorce as she can’t take the dirty habits of her husband anymore.

Here is the story:

My husband is 39 this year, he has developed a weird habit of not flushing the toilet after he does his number 2. He was not like this when he was younger.

I asked if he’s getting senile before the 40s and he said he wants me to see the size and colour of his faeces to see if it’s healthy.

I told him that I am not a doctor and it won’t matter cause I won’t even look at it, the moment I enter I will flush the toilet.

I have warned him that if he continues this dirty habit, I have no choice but to divorce. I don’t want my child to grow up and learn bad habits from him. This has been going on since we started working from home. That means over 2 years.

I really feel like just digging up the sai and throwing it in his face or his laptop to make sure he stops it. What I am only scared of is I will end up cleaning it cause he doesn’t help out at home.

The moment he finished his work he will start sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.

I tried stopping laundry and guess what he did, he went out and buy new clothes then dumps them on the pile.

What should I do?

Okay so I’m not sure on how to start this, but my sister’s ex boyfriend (Who we will call Anthony) lived with us. He had been staying with us for a few years and we all grew to the reality that he was living in our house.

I was always the one in my family that got along with my sister’s boyfriends since I always chatted with them and we sparked similar interests.

I’m not very sure why it happened, it just always did.

However, I did realize how strange Anthony would be towards me. He would always want to hang around me when my sister was gone and even said he favored me more than my other sisters.

Of course I didn’t think anything of it because he would say it all the time. Although in 2020, things took a dark turn.

After Covid struck and we were all forced to stay inside and quarantine, which meant that we were going to be spending a lot of time all together.

One fateful night though, I got a knock on my door. I was confused, no one was awake at this time since it was so late!

Cautiously, I opened my door and there stood Anthony. He had never gone to my room before so I let him inside and he closed the door.

We start talking and he decides he wants to “Play Fight” I agree since I trusted that he wouldn’t do anything.

Big mistake I’ll tell you that.

So next thing I know, I’m pinned down and bent over my bed. I’m laughing nervously and trying to pull myself up when I feel him press up behind me!

Now all my alarms are going off in my head and it gets worse when he starts moving his hips and pushing my head down.

It took me so long to comprehend that yes, this was happening.

I’m not imagining it, he is really doing this. So now I’m trying to pull myself up and he’s still pushing me down!

My heart is beating fast and I’m worried because I don’t know what to do. My sister’s boyfriend who I trusted so dearly, was standing behind me and grinding against me.

Thankfully he stopped after a few minutes and had me walk him back to his room.

I reluctantly did and he hugs me. Then he hugs me from behind and claims that it was easier more him instead of leaning over to hug me.

But I knew and felt his intentions. Finally, I get back to my room and curl up in bed. That was probably the worst night ever. Sadly it wasn’t the last either.

The same thing happened a few more times before he finally left in the beginning of 2021.

I’ve been that coworker with the seniority/experience and helping train those who are new. I answer their questions or tell them what they did wrong with kindness and understanding. I understand how it is to be new and not fully know everything.

why must there be those coworkers who act like you’re an idiot or give attitude if you don’t know how to do every single thing? I never thought once to be condescending towards someone who is still learning.

For example, instead of my coworker telling me something and explaining why it was wrong, they asked me a question and waited for me to answer then explained it. it was the SIMPLEST, stupidest mistake. sure, I gained some knowledge and will be using that from now on, but I’m not a child. be direct.

While I’m still okay with that attitude but some of them even scream at me for the most minor things. Just imagine the volume is one bus stop away also can hear one.

I’m not sensitive and love to take advice or others’ knowledge from them, but not when it’s said in a demeaning way.

Respect

I tried talking to my boss about it but he just brush me off and said that they are old and we should just leave it and respect them.

In my heart, I was thinking “yes, everyone is different and that’s why the word respect exists”. For me I think respect is something earned and not demanded, I’m not demanding respect from the older workers but I think that everyone deserves a bit of basic respect and not speak to another demanding person like he or here is a child.

To be honest, I’m not that young either and I will never treat others like this. People like that make us want to quit the job I worked hard for.

So my fiancé has been raving about a birthday gift he’s planned on giving to me, he said it was sentimental because I told him I wanted more items of my own since I don’t have much money.

He said this gift was going to be $450 and I’m not materialistic but I was so happy he was getting a really thought-out gift and wanted to spend that much. Even though I told him multiple times he really doesn’t have to spend that much.

Anyways, today he tells me my gift is that he plans on giving me the Xbox I bought him for HIS birthday last year and spending money on a PlayStation for himself to replace it.

I said, “so basically you’re giving me something I’ve already paid for and getting yourself a new PlayStation..?” And he said “ugh if you’re gonna react and put it like that… never mind now I feel like Im having the worse day of my life and I don’t want to talk about it” so now it’s this whole ordeal.

I don’t if I’m for responding in a correct way to him.

Here are what netizen thinks:

• Wow, your boyfriend sounds like a moron to me! First, he tells you the value of this gift, which is weird and like he’s boasting about it. Then the fact it’s just his old X-Box that you gave to him? Then HE gets mad at YOU?

• He sounds like an extremely immature boy to me. He needs to do some growing up fast! Maybe this is a sign of too much gaming instead of getting out into the real world and finding out what life is REALLY like and how society actually works.

• All he’s trying to do is save himself the hassle of selling it on Carousell/Ebay. What an utter moron.
• He made out like it was a gift for you, when it was 100% a gift for him. He must know on some level that he’s done an awful thing, because of his reaction. 
• Your reaction is accurate & valid.

As others are sharing their accomplishments and professional successes, I find myself harboring concerns about my own career trajectory.

After dedicating several initial years to a corporate firm, I decided to quit when the company had to reduce its workforce due to the pandemic. Fortunately, I wasn’t subjected to a layoff, but the firm demanded exceptionally long working hours.

Driven by my passion for working with children with special needs, I transitioned into the special education field. The school welcomed me with open arms.

Nevertheless, my experience was not entirely as expected, as special education teachers like myself do not receive the level of support and protection we deserve from the school.

To clarify, this means that in situations where special needs students exhibit aggressive behavior, there is no appropriate recourse.

It deeply unsettled me to think that teachers like us do not have even a basic form of safeguard provided by the institution. Unfortunately, this remains the reality, and there is no sign of change on the horizon.

After leaving the SN industry, it was tough returning to the finance industry as I had been away for a few years. I managed to finally get a job after 6 months of searching.

Things didnt turn out as planned and I left after 5 months.

Once again the job search begins.

Sometimes, I look back and wonder if I made a mistake anywhere and would have changed something if I had the chance to. But back then when I was applying for the job, i wouldnt know how the company and job would truly be like until I’ve actually started it. There wasn’t much I could do or change actually.

I’m just really disappointed that my career has turned out like that. It has been around 8 years since I’ve graduated and my peers are earning much more with better prospects too. But thinking about it I don’t think I’m very much far off from them in terms of aptitude and attitude. I was willing to work and give my best always.

I cant help but feel that you really need the element of luck in building a career and finding the right job. I must admit I totally did not see myself having a career path like this.

Anyone else’s career did not turn out as planned or you know of people’s who didn’t? Is that common among most graduates?

Help me with my finances, I can’t seem to save money at all.

At times I find myself in need of guidance and seeking opinions.

I am a 30-year-old man with several years of work experience. Presently, my monthly income stands at approximately $17,000.

On many occasions, I experience a genuine sense of financial challenge, as I struggle to accumulate sufficient savings and investments. Trying to achieve a savings rate of 50% proves to be quite tough, and I believe that in order to retire sooner, I must aim to save and invest at least $10,000. However, even with this target in mind, it seems insufficient.

When talking with friends and family they don’t seem to understand as I do not come from wealth and everyone thinks that I’m entitled.

Frankly, I feel that I should be asking for a raise of perhaps around 25% more (not joking) and work isn’t easy as well to begin with.

How would you guys allocate your money? Do u think I’m saving too much? Maybe I should spend more? How much do y’all save that is hitting your retirement goal?

Am I earning too little? Like honestly, I don’t smoke, drink or have a car but still feel like I’m struggling sometimes trying to spend within 5k monthly for myself…

A bit at a lost here…

Netizens’ comments

• 17k, but cannot save 5k. I think you failed badly. Moreover 30 yo. Means not mature enough to handle money, don’t know what is priority in life..
• I think barring the fact of your income, if you’re in your 30s and having not much liabilities/debts, 5K/m should be more than enough to survive. If you’re spending too much you prob have to calculate where your expenses go.
  Also, are your peers around you earning waay more than you? Is that why you might be stressed on it?
  A surplus of ~12K/m, about 144K a year is really a good savings record. You should be happy about that!!