41M but attracted to 27F

I’m 41M, married with 3 kids. I pride myself as being a faithful, loyal person. I’ve not been to siam dius or KTVs although I have friends who do, because I never wanted to be caught in a situation of being unfaithful.

Recently, for work project purposes, I got to know a 27F. She is smart, talented and fun to work with. For some reasons, I find myself attracted to her. As our project ended, we started to text on other matters, like work gossips, and every few sentences with lots of emojis.

I start to think about her. And feel stressed about it. I don’t want to be a TCJ or LP.

But I can’t control it.

I guess the best way is to start avoiding, less communicating.

We can’t control our feelings and our affections, but we can control our actions.

Sorry if it has to go this way. Wish you well…

Here are what netizens think:

• Nothing to be sorry about. Good that you’re acting like what you should be doing.

• You can feel alot of things and not act on it. Dosen’t mean if you feel attracted then you need to pursue something with this lady. At the end of the day,you owe that loyalty to your wife. Just let it remain a feeling. I’d also think about keeping some distance if you’re feeling so attracted to her that it’s affecting you

• You don’t hv to act on temptations. Let it come, let it go. Be strong.

• Human emotions are complicated lah. The good news is you still have the ability to override impulses.

• Just go and confess. She will turn you down, then it’s the end of story. If she don’t turn you down, well, come post on sgwhisper again so we have something to read when we’re bored.

As I grow older, I’ve noticed how people can turn their backs suddenly and simply leave without any explanation or actual conflict.

I haven’t even hit the big 2 yet and my social circle is getting smaller… I no longer know who’s true and who’s not. Everyone seems temporary. But when I open my Instagram, everyone else’s social circle is still booming.

And before anyone advises me to join activities and make friends, trust me, I’ve been doing that. But it’s undeniably hard to meet decent human beings.

Is this normal. how does one deal with the loss of relationships they truly care about?

Netizens’ comments

• Don’t believe what you see on Instagram. What you see might not be what it actually is

• The simple answer is that this is normal and relationships will form and dissolve over time.

Even your best friends will come and go due to various reasons (no time to spend with you or have different priorities in life).

It hurts but you need to get used to it. Over time you will learn who are the people that stay with you when you get into problems and ask for help.

Also cherish the relationship while they last and let go of the relationship when it’s appropriate to end.

I became acquainted with FM over a decade ago while we were both students. Our close friendship blossomed due to the nature of our program, leading us to spend a significant amount of time together. We shared our hobbies, discussed life plans, perspectives on the world, and much more. Meeting for meals and spending weekends together became routine, often just the two of us, with little or no interaction and knowledge of others around us.

I held a postive feeling for her, yet our relationship never crossed into romantic territory, and there was no trace of ambiguity. Could it be that we were simply pure friends with no romantic chemistry? Was it because of our differing backgrounds and varying aspirations and expectations for life partners? I never had the opportunity to directly ask her if she felt the same. However, I vividly remember a humorous incident where I played the role of an advisor to help her get closer to a boy she liked.

Graduation eventually arrived, causing our lives to drift apart gradually. We pursued our separate careers, got married, and started families. With each milestone, our distance grew wider. Before I knew it, years had passed since we last communicated.

Recently, I received the shocking news of her passing. I was left in a state of stunned disbelief, unsure of how to react.

The loss of someone who used to be so close to me left me deeply saddened, yet I found myself unable to shed tears. I regret not staying in touch with her as much as I could have, and now, there’s no chance to amend that.

I was taken aback by the fragility of life and how everything that seemed perfect could be abruptly taken away by nature, often with little warning. However, I realize there’s nothing I can do to change this reality.

These emotions have become a heavy burden on my chest, and I’m unable to express them. Perhaps sharing anonymously is the only way.

I implore you to cherish those around you while you still can. For those who are on your mind but not by your side, reach out to them now and maintain contact as much as possible. For those you hold grudges against, try to let go and forgive.

Life is fleeting, and if you’re fortunate, you may reach your 80s. There’s not much time to wait for someone else to pick up the phone, to hesitate about making the first move, or to guess instead of asking for answers.

Age matters so much?!

I have always been feeling inferior my whole life and have low confidence in my looks. It’s just worsen now at I approach mid thirties. I wanted to work on my look now but I was told it’s a waste of my money and time by my close friends and families. They think I should have started in my twenties and now I should just focus on saving for my retirement and family if I ever wanted one.

I am actually still very immature on the inside, I still chase kpop idols about half my age, laugh and enjoyed their silly jokes. I want to attend their concerts and fan sign if any. Again I was told by both fans (i was in a fan chat without revealing my age) and friends that older fans (especially fans older than the eldest member of the kpop group) shouldn’t attend fan signs. They said it’s just weird and creepy!? Why am I creepy just because I am older?

Here are what netizens think:

• age matters if you want to learn driving, have S, smoke or drink alcohol, buy a bto as single occupant… otherwise, no, age doesn’t matter much. Money matters more….Make more money and 你讲话 can louder abit

• Just do what makes u happy. Attend those fan signs if u wanna and F care those younger fans.

• Dont listen to people if u want to be n feel happy.

• Actually “working on your looks” also means working on your health. If you eat properly, exercise regularly, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

• Carry on working on your looks it’s never too late. But of coz cannot sacrifice family for it. Go to fan meets all u want.

• If you are of their age and noticing someone ten years older being similar to you, will you feel weirded out?

Best advice for someone who is lost in a r/s.

I have been together with this guy for like 2 years. We fight a lot, not sure if it’s me or him, or we are just incompatible. He did something terribly wrong in his past, and I couldn’t look pass it, which indirectly cause me to be emotional in a lot of stuffs. Another thing is he makes terrible decisions, especially financially and it has been stressing me out regardless it isn’t my money, but i just saw a bleak future in terms of financially with him at the moment.

He pampers me a lot but in the meantime spending a lot of me which I have told him multiple times i didn’t want him to do so if he didn’t have the cash but I guess he didn’t listened and now we fights sometimes because of this issue as well.

The thought of breaking up keeps surfacing. Not because he’s broke or whatever but because I felt that I am the reason for his downfall. Is breaking up at this moment a great choice? Need helps.

Here are what netizens think:

• Sounds like you’re riding in a luxury comfortable car. Real leather, plushy seats, in-car champagne. But that car is speeding down the highway at 200km/hr. It’s also on fire. Get out before you’re dead.

• If you cannot handle his past, it’s better that both parties part ways. If his current behaviour doesn’t change, it may become worse after marriage which may lead to the downfall of your marriage.

• You are not the reason for his downfall. But if you stay in this relationship that doesn’t make you happy, then you and only you would be the reason for your own downfall. Leave now before you feel too stuck to leave later.