My ex fiancee left me a week ago, and she already wants to move in with her new boyfriend.

I’m just hurt. I’m still in close contact with her mom, her mom has been there for me through our entire break up. We both had no idea she was going to leave me, it was like a bomb.

One of my friends works at the same place she does, and noticed that she and another guy were talking and chatting it up consistently.

I put it aside, thinking oh maybe they’re just friends. I asked her about it, she said not to worry about it they’re just friends.

She kept acting like everything was fine, came to see me, kissing, hugging, all the normal things a couple would do. (She always knew how to get my motor running by calling me things).

One day after work she came over to say hi, acted like everything was great. Like she was happy and everything. I told her I never wanted to lose her, I loved her more than anything. “You won’t ever lose me. I promise.”

She got back home to her parents house (she and her kids were kicked out of her apartment beforehand…like a month beforehand.)

We tried but failed to get a place together, next thing I know, she says she wants a break.

“What the f.” I think to myself…I told her no. “You did this once already in our relationship, we’re going to work on this.”

“I don’t want to. I need a break. You’re too down lately.” Of course I am, I’m trying to get us a place to live together, it’s hard and I’m a little bit sad at this point.

She left me. Then I found out from my friend she was caught making out with the guy she told me not to worry about at work. Turns out, this has been going on for a lot longer than a week…

I broke down. It’s so hard to believe that she would do that to me. It still hurts.

Now her mom is telling me she’s trying to move in with the new guy. So obviously, I meant nothing to her. But she meant everything to me, and it’s so hard living without her…

I’m so tired of people trying to date me now that I’m successful and married

So, to start, I used to be a fat lady. School was hard – a lot of people would keep me around as an option, and some even had pretty strong feelings for me, but wouldn’t date me because I was chubby and they wanted someone more attractive. That’s fair and they’re entitled to their dating preferences, I don’t resent them for that.

What I do resent is all of these people that rejected me back then coming out of the woodwork now, a decade later.

I’ve been successful in life – I have a great job where I get to travel the world, I’m married to the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and we’re deeply in love!

We have a good life, zero debt, wonderful pets and amazing adventures. We’re not rich, but we’re not living paycheck to paycheck.

My partner is truly my soul mate – we are a team and we support each other in our personal and professional goals.

Every. single. person. that rejected me has slid into my DMs or called me, saying “I should’ve dated you when I had the chance!”

One called me the night before my wedding, asking me to cancel it. A couple have asked me to get a divorce or cheat on my partner to be with them.

One guy semi regularly gets drunk and DMs me from fake accounts, asking me to “remember the night we spent together!” as though an evening of lackluster f-ing would make me leave my spouse. How dare they?

To be clear, no one has to date me if they don’t want to. That’s ok. But do these people truly think they’re God’s gift to the point where a lady that had a crush on them over a decade ago would blow up her life just for a chance to get with them? There’s also this weird undercurrent of them wanting my financial support now that I’m succeeding.

F that. Who do these people think they are? Do they honestly, truly think I’d leave my spouse just for the chance to date (and bankroll) them?

Colleague is spreading rumours that I slept with the director for a promotion. What should I do?

Context: I am the only guy in a department with 4 other ladies. 1 director 2 managers (Colleague 1 and me) 2 executives (Colleagues 2 and 3)

Additional background information: Colleague 1: Was in charge of my training and she was mostly unapproachable and was unhappy when I asked her to clarify certain processes.

Hence, I put in the effort to learn the ropes step by step by myself. She has always been unhappy with me as my director will openly praise my work and make a direct comparison with her work.

I received a promotion in July which was part of a counteroffer from the director. The director has made the decision as I had helped out a few big projects.

Last week, I overheard Colleague 3 chatting with Colleague 1; and she was spreading rumors that I only received the promotion as the director was sleeping with me. They have now formed a clique with Colleague 2 and stopped inviting me out for lunch.

After my promotion, they will deliberately stall their reports which lead to me chasing them for their reports for submission.

Even when submitted, the reports contained multiple errors which I had to fix as it would take too long to send it back to them for correction.

This has already happened multiple times and, they ignored my feedback saying, “Since you are so good at it, it would be better if you do it all by yourself”.

I have no issues with cleaning up their work but their replies are starting to get to me as it has become a frequent occurrence.

Please advice if I should stay on in the job or start looking for a new job? The notice period for this role is about 2 months. The bonus period is right around the corner in December as well, so I’m torn if I should stay until then.

I am at a loss about what to do and feel really unhappy about this situation since it happened about 3 weeks ago.

Having lost sleep over this betrayal since I thought Colleague 3 was a close friend of mine before I found out about the badmouthing.

Nowadays I have trouble sharing anything with colleagues from other departments as well, as the thought of being betrayed again still haunts me.

Understand the importance of mental health but I am afraid of being unable to find a job during this period, with the approaching holidays. Any advice would be appreciated.

Colleague has the habit of asking me to buy stuff when I go on holiday

This colleague of mine has this habit of asking me to get things for her whenever I’m on holiday. Egg tarts rolls in Taiwan (oh, my aunt loves them), face-roller massager in Japan (oh, we don’t have this anymore in Singapore Daiso; pls get five), medical ointment in Thailand (we don’t have this in Singapore).

It’s not like she doesn’t travel! I think it’s uncool to always trouble people, and it’s a bad habit which I’m beginning to find rather annoying.

We are not even that close to begin with. Personally I woud never trouble friends or colleagues, not even family members while they are on holiday!

I wanna tell her I’m going to stop getting stuff for her, but I’m at a loss on how to broach the topic…..

Netizens’ comments

1. Just don’t get it.
   I used to have a colleague like this once. She will kaypoh and try to find out whoever is travelling in my company and ask them to get this or that. Worse, she will actually email and text you to REMIND you to get it.
   I will always say I’ll try or only if I happen to see it and then forget about it totally. If she pester me after I come back, I’ll just tell her I was too busy to go shopping or I forgot.
   Do it a few times she will stop and eventually ask someone else to do it.
   You probably did it for her before and that’s why she kept asking.
2. I had a friend who had this habit of doing that. Worse, he only pops out when he needs us to buy this buy that and then pass it off to his relatives.
   I asked him to pay upfront first, didn’t buy the items, and delayed paying him back as long as I could.
   Needless to say he stopped asking me to buy stuff after that.
3. stand up for yourself la… gosh. say no. if you scared, then say no I don’t have luggage space

My boyfriend doesn’t have enough strength or stamina to finish me off and it’s frustrating.

For some background, me and my boyfriend have been together for seven, almost eight months now and have been sleeping together for about three.

This is our first serious relationship we’ve ever been in. I love my boyfriend, who we’ll call T for the time being, and wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.

T cares for me and treats me like no one else has. He is the only person I’ve trusted enough to see my body, or truly become one with me. Everything has been great. Outside of the bedroom, at least.

When me and him try to do anything, he is the only one who finishes. You know, what most women deal with. I don’t hate him for it, because he’s trying unlike a lot of other men.

If anything he’s a lot more gracious in the bedroom than I am. The thing is, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stick it out.

Oral? Fifteen minutes tops. Fingering? Ten minutes if I’m lucky. Penetration? Probably a lost cause, because it’s usually over in five.

Everything gets too tired or starts cramping or is too hard to do and I was understanding at first, but frankly it’s getting frustrating. For him too. It makes him feel really bad about himself. and I can really see that he is trying his hardest but sometimes it is what it is.

I don’t want to sound selfish, and I don’t want to sound like I’m only in it for intercourse because I’m not. I love him. I want to show him the most intricate and intimate parts of myself. The pleasure is honestly just a plus!

If anyone has any suggestions or tips PLEASE, PLEASE tell me. I’m getting desperate at this point.