I sold a low value item (<50 SGD) to a buyer a week back. Buyer wanted to do a meetup at Woodlands. I offered a compromise to meet in the middle but he flat out refused. We agreed on normal mail instead.

This all went fine up until I had already mailed out the item. Took pictures of the parcel before sending out and got his approval on the parcel and the address etc. No complaints.

Fast forward a week later, buyer complains he never received it and starts nitpicking on the parcel – things he never mentioned before when I asked him to check.

He now wants me to refund him half the amount when I clearly stated I wasn’t liable for lost normal mail. I was continually harassed until I eventually blocked him.

He has now reported me to the police and my bank account is now frozen (according to DBS and then the police). I can’t pay for my bills nor can I receive my salary at the moment.

Could I get some advice on what I should do? I’m curious as to what the usual protocol is for freezing bank accounts.

It seems like no checks on the credibility of the buyers statements were taken before flagging my bank account for fraud. This is such an unfair/unjust situation to be put in.

P.S The buyer reported me at his nearby police station and I was told by the officer that I’ll have to go down personally to make my statement.

Netizens’ comments

1. Next time, just put “self collection or self arranged delivery only (ex: qexpress, grabexpress, lalamove, etc)” on your listing and only entertain those who are comfortable with this arrangement. Less problems for you, one foot out of hell 👍
2. Quickly make an appointment with the police to give your statement, bring along the photos you took and the various proofs that you had mailed the item. This will help facilitate police investigations and quickly clear your name, allowing the police to lift the freeze on your account.
3. Why tf is the bank acct frozen for a low value transaction? There’s absolutely no reason for the IO to freeze it? The buyer withhold the messages evidence from the police and make up a different story?
4. Don’t deal with difficult people. Most people are friendly and easy going and that’s who I usually deal with.

My wife’s disability is wearing me down

My (38m) wife (42f) and I have been together 18 years. She was a type 1 diabetic since 7 years old and has developed osteoporosis very young.

She’s been warned about this impending danger since before I met her and had done absolutely nothing to address it. She eats absolute trash, and the only thing she considers when choosing her diet is what she is “craving.”

She routinely runs out of necessary vitamins and meds for long periods and doesn’t tell anyone because she “didn’t think they were helping.”

She’s incredibly weak, which has led to her disqualifying herself from pretty much every chore imaginable. Because she does no chores, she never gets stronger, only weaker.

2 weeks ago she, for some unfathomable reason, decided to shimmy into a tiny space sideways instead of walking around the obstacle, stepped in a weird way and got a relatively small break in her tibia that is going to make her non weight bearing for at least another two months.

Her arms are so weak that she can’t use a crutches or a walker to get to the bathroom. My house has too many narrow passages for a wheelchair and I’m having to physically carry her to where she needs to go.

She can’t make it to the bathroom so I’m having to set up a special toilet chair by the bed, which she can stand up and pivot to, and I’m dealing with emptying that many times a day.

When I take her to the doctor I’m having to lift her out of a wheelchair and into the car. When she has to navigate stairs I’m having to carry her up them. I’m preparing all her meals and keeping her supplied with water, and managing her medicine.

Every morning I’m having to argue with her to at least get out of bed. She just wants to lay in the dark all day and literally do nothing.

So far I’ve got her out every day after tense morning stand off, but she’s still averaging 22 hours a day in that bed. She’s supposed to be getting up and practising walking with the walker or the crutches but she’s always “too sore” or “will start tomorrow.”

Even before this injury things were obviously messed up. As far as our bedroom activities goes, she only handle anything for a few minutes before she has to stop.

Her arms get tired, her neck gets sore, everything gets sore way too fast for any of us to finish, so I don’t even get that anymore.

Now with the leg, everything even that is impossible. I’m not sure what I hope to achieve with this post, but I just felt like I had to voice my frustrations somewhere. I don’t let her see them because I know she’s worse off than me right now.

I (27M) told my gf(24F) I would break up with her if she yelled at me again. She agreed, then she did it again 2 weeks later.

For context, I think it can seem like I’m overreacting, but here’s my view: I grew up with average parents, they rarely “exploded” on me, my brother and each other.

I always saw screaming as an instant turn off, and I had never been yelled at this hard by anyone, let alone a girlfriend.

This happened for the first time several months ago, the reason?

I said I was sleepy and she demanded a declaration of my love at 3 am, when I said not now, she threw her bedside lamp at the wall (near my face and almost hitting me) and screamed her lungs out.

I don’t know how but I forgave her.

There was a second time that I can’t remember, and she bit my hand as I was reaching for the door. Also, forgiven.

The last time before today was a couple weeks ago, when I said I was skipping lunch and she freaked out because if I don’t eat, she can’t.

Yelled louder than any yell i’ve ever heard. This was the last straw for me, and I said it loud and clear: If this happens again, I’m not even having a conversation. She agreed.

Today: Wanted to go to the gym alone. Problem is we have a wedding tomorrow and I’m one of the groomsmen, so she’s demanding an answer now: Are we breaking up?

I was able to buy some time but I’m not 100% sure I’m being fair, and it’s been a tough one. Any quick answers are welcome, thanks.

Netizens’ comments

1. she demanded a declaration of my love at 3 am
   she threw her bedside lamp at the wall and screamed her lungs out
   she bit my hand
   she freaked out because if I don’t eat, she can’t
   she yelled louder than any yell i’ve ever heard
   she’s demanding an answer now
   I’m sorry OP, what was your question again?
2. Should have broken up when she chucked a lamp at you
3. You told her you’d break up with her if she did it again. She did it again. Please proceed with step 2.

I worked for a year for a company. My manager was nitpicking me about everything. I tried my best to work up to his standards but nothing was good enough.

Just before Christmas last year he fired me for not meeting expectations. I didn’t see it coming and cried as the HR manager walked me out.

I was in a panic when this happened since I just bought a house few months after getting the job and didn’t want to lose it.

I was very fortunate and found a new job about a month after losing that job.

Recently, the manager who fired me asked me if I have a login for account to renew their website domain. (Of course I don’t have this information anymore since it was in the work laptop they confiscated from me as they let me go.)

I decided not to respond to his text and just blocked him. I week later a coworker (contracted advertising agency) of my manager inquired about the same thing.

I did not respond to his text either. What would you do in this situation? There’s nothing I can do to help. My manager should have known to keep my work laptop for information like this.

I admit that it hurt me a lot to be fired so knowing that this is happening is really surreal.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think you handled that perfectly. I would block anyone else who contacted you regarding this. I think the no response is a perfect f you response. I love it. You are my hero.
2. You don’t exist to them and that job doesn’t exist to you. Handle communications with this in mind.
3. Savour their tears, hydrate and replenish yourself with it.
4. When they fired you, they only thought about themselves and now it’s your turn. Answer their text : Excuse me, do I know you ?

A hookup (28F) threw me (24M) out of her apartment when we were getting frisky with each other because I wanted to use a condom

We met online this week and we don’t know anything of each other history.

We met for a date and went great. We moved to her apartment, she started giving me a bj. She showed me the lube and asked me to hit it from the back. I said sure and took a condom from my pocket and was opening it.

She got EXTREMELY MAD because I took the condom, she wanted it without.

I told her that I prefer with (I didn’t even had the time to explain that we’re strangers, why do you want unprotected intercourse from the back with a random guy? She threw me out).

It’s the second time that I’m rejected simply for using a condom (but the first one was in the middle of the act). What the hell is happening?

When I was younger usually girls had to pressure guys to use condoms, is now the world reversed? Why?

Netizens’ comments

1. I am all about using condoms until we have exchanged recent test results. And even then, I’ll probably continue to use them until I am comfortable enough that I understand whatever her birth control routine is. I think you dodged a bullet here man. Look at it that way.
2. I think it’s kinda stereotype that men are the ones who never want to use condoms and women make them use it. On average – probably yeah cause women are less impulsive on average and they’re the ones at higher risk with greater consequences. But individuals are not the average.
3. She did you a favor tbh. About two years ago I went on a date with this woman and went home with her after, and when I tried to get a condom she basically asked me if I was saying she was dirty or diseased by insisting in it
4. Have you had a conversation with her about this? Because it sounds like you haven’t. It would be interesting to hear her arguments regarding this matter.

My (28M) dream is to be a father, but I’m sterile. I want to adopt, but my wife (27F) is against it. And I was adopted. She wants to undergo artificial insemination, but I’m against it.

I’ll share a bit of my personal story to help you understand the whole situation.

I was abandoned by my biological parents when I was very young and was adopted when I was 8 years old. My adoptive parents were wonderful to me, and I have a brother who is the biological child of my adoptive parents, three years older than me.

I believe that being abandoned had a profound impact on me, and I’ve always had a strong desire to be a father and have children.

I met my wife when I was 19 and she was 18. I’ve always been open with her about my history, providing all the details, and I made it clear that my dream was to have a family with more than one child. She also expressed a desire to have a family, and this was never an issue.

We got married, and it’s been about 2 years since we decided it was time to have our first child. We started trying, but she didn’t get pregnant, so we sought medical advice to understand if there was any issue. It was then that I found out I’m sterile, and my wife doesn’t have any medical problems.

I was devastated, but since I myself was adopted, I saw adoption as the ideal solution. I suggested to my wife that we should adopt, but she was against it. She cited reasons that are, in reality, based on prejudices.

I was deeply saddened by this because when you talk about one of those children, you’re also talking about me. We’ve had many discussions, but I haven’t been able to change her prejudiced views.

On the other hand, she proposed that we should undergo artificial insemination with an anonymous donor. I disagreed with this because it would cost a lot of money, and I feel it’s unfair to act so selfishly when there are thousands of children waiting to be adopted.

Our marriage is going through a serious crisis because of this. I can’t comprehend how she can hold such opinions about adoption while being married to me.

I’d appreciate any suggestions on how to change her mind. I’ve seriously considered separation because being a father is the dream of my life. However, I still love my wife. Would separating over this issue be too extreme? I’m really lost.

Bf made me cry when we were getting rough in bed and he’s afraid he’ll hurt me if he does it again

So me (21F) and my bf (25M) have been great in the bedroom and he’s always mindful of our massive size difference when doing so (he’s really huge).

He’s really careful about not going too deep and likes to take things slower for me since he’s also much larger and thicker than average.

We slept together a couple nights ago and it ended up being way rougher than it normally is, but I absolutely loved it and was begging him for more.

He was constantly picking me up, flipping me around, and throwing me on the bed while moving me into the positions he wanted.

We did doggy at one point and he was pounding into me faster and harder than I’ve ever felt before. It was sore, but a good sore.

I became so overwhelmed by all of the pleasure happening to me at once, that I actually started crying. I’ve never done that before, so this was new to me.

He noticed I was in tears, immediately stopped what he was doing, and pulled out since he thought I was in excruciating pain.

He asked if I was okay and checked me over for any bruising or rips/tears, but he didn’t find anything.

I reassured him that everything was completely fine and told him that I enjoyed the roughness and wanted more of it, but he said he’s afraid of doing it so hard again and doesn’t want to seriously injure me.

Lately, we’ve only been slower, more intimate, which is also good, but I’ve been missing his rougher side and I want him to know that I’ll be okay if he wants to do it again.

Anytime I talk to him about it, I feel like he thinks I’m not being truthful about how much pain I was in that night.