Recently my boss has been dropping a lot of hints that I should find a new job.

At first I thought he had shared this with the whole team as part of our career development but then I realised no leh, he didn’t talk about this at all with my colleagues.

Not sure if I’m thinking too much into it but why would he ask me to leave if there’s nothing wrong? My work performance has all along been great and I’ve never given him any trouble. I also get along well with my colleagues and am on good terms with people from other departments. In fact, quite a few bosses from the other departments have asked me to join their teams before but I chose to stay in my boss’ team because I enjoy working here. My colleagues suggested that I ask our boss straight about it but this kind of thing how to say? Sigh… Maybe I’ll just look for a new job…

Advice

It’s understandable that you’re feeling uncertain and puzzled about your boss’s hints regarding finding a new job. It’s essential to approach this situation thoughtfully and professionally. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Reflect on the Hints:

• Take some time to reflect on the specific hints your boss has dropped. Consider if there have been any changes in your team or the company that could be influencing these hints.

2. Request a Meeting:

• Schedule a one-on-one meeting with your boss to discuss your career and your future within the company. Frame it as a career development conversation rather than directly addressing the hints. This shows your commitment to your role and your desire to understand your career path.

3. Seek Clarification:

• During the meeting, calmly and respectfully ask your boss to clarify their comments. Express that you value your current position and want to understand any concerns or feedback they may have.

4. Share Your Perspective:

• Explain your dedication to your job and your positive relationships with colleagues and other departments. Mention your previous opportunities to switch teams but your choice to stay because you enjoy your current role.

5. Listen Actively:

• Be open to your boss’s feedback and perspective. It’s possible that there may be factors or concerns you are unaware of.

I’m 26 and my boyfriend ‘James’ is 28.

So, I was born with a wide nose. I was insecure of my appearance because of it – so when I was 22 (4 years ago), I got a nose job. It helped 100% with my insecurity, and I love my new nose.

Fast-forward to 6 months ago – I got together with James. I didn’t think I needed to mention I got my nose done – because it’d be weird to randomly “Oh by the way, I had surgery for my nose!”. Also, it didn’t matter – as I got it done long before I met him.

Yesterday, James was talking about nose jobs. His best friend’s wife was looking for a good plastic surgeon and he asked if I knew of any. The doctor I went to was amazing (professional and friendly), so I recommended him. James then asked me how I knew this doctor. I said “A few years ago I got my nose done at his clinic”.

He looked at me in shock for several seconds then blew up. He yelled saying that I had no intention to tell him, and that I was lying to him for all these months. He was so hurt – saying “So when will you tell me that you got lip-fillers? Or botox? Or lipo?”.

I was shocked and said I only got my nose done. It wasn’t even that drastic, but he seems to be unable to trust me anymore. He said he needs some time to think about ‘us’ – and I can’t believe it went this far. To me, it’s pretty trivial, but I feel bad for ‘keeping this from him’ (even though it wasn’t my intention). 

Here are what netizens think:

• Who care? as long end of the day he gets his B job.

• Seriously. They’ve been dating 6 months. Is she supposed to have somehow filled him in on her entire life during that time? It’s not as if he had previously asked her if she’d had plastic surgery and she denied it.

• i genuinely dont understand what he’s so upset about. Like who cares if you got a nose job? Its not really his business anyway since it was so long before you got with him. Rethink ya relationship with that dude he sounds unstable

I’m a 32, and my wife is a 36.

I have a weird hobby. Model trains. My whole storeroom is filled with them. I don’t know when I first had this hobby but ever since I’ve loved them. I have the money for model trains because I don’t have any kids and I make a decent amount of money.

My wife doesn’t work but that doesn’t bother me. She’s not an excessive shopper or gambler or drinker, she just lays around and that’s fine. She’s worked most of her life, she deserves a break. However, she went to far.

She touches or plays or do whatever she wants with my model trains, as long as she tells me if one breaks. A week ago, I found out while I was at work, a man came and took a bunch of model trains. I was gonna report to the police but my wife admitted the guy gave her $100 dollars for them.

(The trains were worth more that) I flipped out but she stood by her actions saying I needed to grow up. I snatched her favourite LV purse, upon the Facebook marketplace, $10. In 5 minutes, someone came and picked it up.

Now I’m the bad guy and have to sleep on the couch.

Here are what netizens think:

• But why are you married to her? Doesn’t work (despite no kids), sells your stuff, kicks you out of bed. What’s in this for you?.

• Yeah, I never understood the whole thing when one spouse banishes the other to the couch-f that!! If you’re so upset you go sleep in the couch.

• An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind

• Your wife’s a thief, you’re sleeping on the couch and you think that was an intelligent response. dude you’re hopeless.

People who always complain about no money, like seriously, what are u spending on??

I’m in my late 30s, gross pay only $3k+, have house loan for resale 4room HDB, have 2 70+yo parents, have girlfriend, and I’m living comfortably.

Yet people earning more than me just keeps on complaining and complaining. Do u need a car? Do u splurge on expensive yet unnecessary stuff? Do u eat out very often at fancy places? Do u grab when u can take bus? Is your partner a parasite that leeches onto u? Look internally first, before complaining about external factors.

I’m looking at u, people who say u need $8k a month to live comfortably

Here are what netizens think:

• Since, u r still single (assume, since u have written as gf n not wife)..
  1. Pregnancy doc / hospital bills
  2. Daycare Fr 2 months old kid
  3. If no daycare then maid
  4. Kindergarten fees
  5. Primary school tuition fees (every subj atleast $100
  6. Enrichment classes fees
  7. Car loan EMI
  8. Home loan EMI
  9. Family vacation
  10. Family eat outs
  11. Meds for ur kids n ur elderly parents
  Start to save whatever u can fr now.. you’ll need it soon

• Maybe those people have 2 kids and parents with medical conditions to take care of? Lol seriously, you sound like someone who hasn’t experienced anything in life. Ignorant. Some people have more burdens and dependents. Just because you don’t have any doesn’t mean that others don’t, different people live with different circumstances in life.

• late 30s and still only have gf. Wait till you are married and have kids, lets see how you deal with $3k+

• Don’t impose your cheap lifestyle on others. Why do you assume people take grab instead of bus? That’s not the case. Do you have kids? For those who have, they sometimes want the best for them. Fees aren’t cheap. $1k per kid is common, How about childcare? $700-1000 a month per kid. Maid levy? Every month give LHL $300. Maid salary $600-700. Food etc all becomes expensive. When you are in your 30s, how many donkey years ago was it? As we grow older, life should be better. But university grads today in SG are living it worse than many of their parents.