So I have been dating my bf for 3 months. He’s been working a job he doesn’t really enjoy and made these big plans to get a new job doing restaurant deliveries.

He doesn’t have a car/bike or a license so to do the deliveries he needs a motorbike/moped. He spends a lot of his money helping his family and has previously had to take out a loan to help his parents, they then couldn’t help him make the repayments so he ended up defaulting on the loan.

This means that when he tried to take out finance to get a bike, he got rejected. This is where I come in, I have been suffering from anxiety and was having problems at work. He was very supportive at this time, offering advice and support when I was struggling.

I now have a good handle on my anxiety and have been offered a great new job! (Yay) He decided to speak to me after I told him about the job and tell me that now that I’m feeling better he wanted to share with me that he’s been feeling really overwhelmed and stressed but didn’t want to put that on me while I had my own issues. He went on to tell me how I’m his only source of happiness etc. Following this conversation, he asked me if I would take out finance for him so that he could get the bike and get the new job and make better money and get into a better position.

To me, this is a straight no. I’ve always been very firm that I wouldn’t take out finance in someone else’s name ever as if they couldn’t pay it would leave me in a very difficult position trying to pay it.

He says that I should know he would never ask if he wasn’t desperate and that as his gf I should be willing to support him. I think this is too much to ask of me. Especially after our talk about him struggling with his mental health and that I’m his only source of happiness in life. I feel like that was almost emotional blackmail to pressure me to say yes to this.

My boyfriend was previously married in his twenties. He never talks about his ex much, just that it was something that happened in his life and he doesn’t think of her much anymore. He’s never said anything bad about her, but he has indicated that she had some mental health issues that lead to the decline of their marriage.

All in all, I figured her loss was my gain, as my boyfriend is the sweetest, kindest partner I have ever had.

Today he is at work, but told me I could go into his place to hang out before he got off. I got on his laptop to watch some netflix, and found it open to facebook (yeah, he lives in the past a bit).

There was a chat box open with a woman’s name. It took me a minute, but I eventually recognized it was his ex-wife.

My heckles were up, I’ll admit. For a horrible few seconds I thought my whole happy relationship was about to crumble. But then I read them.

She messaged first. She seemed frantic, maybe in the midst of a mental health crisis. She told him she desperately wanted him back, and claimed he is the only man who ever treated her with kindness. She was practically begging.

And my boyfriend responded to her that he is in a happy relationship and he will not respond to any contact like that again (and I let out I sigh of relief).

But he went on to tell her that, while they will never be able to be friends, he did believe she is a good person. But her mental health issues make it impossible for her to form a stable and healthy relationship with others. He told her he hopes she can find therapy that works for her.

He told her that he never wants to know her again, but he does hope that she can eventually have a stable and happy life. But that it won’t happen until she confronts her troubles.

He ended by reiterating that he is in a relationship with someone he loves very much, and that he won’t ever respond to communication from her again. But he did wish her well.

He worded it a lot more eloquently than I am able to. But I was in tears at the bittersweet feeling. It reminds me of all the reasons I love him.

And if I were to ever speak to his ex, I would tell her that I am truly sorry for what she has to deal with. Part of me wanted to be angry that she would send a message to my boyfriend like that, but I really only feel sympathy. I’m sorry you are hurting and I am sorry for how it is affecting your life. I’m sorry it made you miss out on the wonderful relationship I have now.

I hope you can find your own one day, when you are healthy.

A guy found out that his girlfriend of 7 years has been cheating with his best friend of 11 years, and he was horrified and distraught.

Here is the story

Honestly, I’ll just spare the details and keep it short, but my best friend of 11 years got off with my girlfriend of 7 years at a party last week.

I have all the proof from another person, including videos and I am wondering how I should go about this.

Neither of them know that I know, and they are acting like nothing happened, asking me to play video games, meet up etc which is honestly making me feel sick.

After spending 3 days in my room in a state of distraught I finally went outside yesterday. I’m an absolute state right now and it all just hurts so much.

I was hoping it was all a nasty rumour but i’ve seen videos of them getting off and I don’t know what to do now.

Should I just cut off both of them completely or should I confront them. Any advice is welcome 🙁

Netizens’ comments

• Confront them and then cut them off. If you don’t say your piece then it will eat at you and you will regret not saying anything. It’s going to suck and it’s going to hurt for a while, but it’s gotta be done.

• focus on future you.

Put yourself 6-12 months down the line.

There may be unknowns – but balance these with the verified and undoubtedly uncomfortable known truth that sadly surfaced a few days ago.

The unknowns will become exciting adventures full of laughter and romance in time.

The known truth will eat you up the longer you keep it to yourself.

Confide in close friends, talk to people who’ve been through long term break ups before, ask for advice on an exit plan and have your friends help you:

1. keep you accountable to your plan; and
2. keep you sane in the rough first few months. It gets better, I promise and I’m confident your friends will promise the same too.

Jumping on the bandwagon about starting salaries etc.

I have held multiple odd jobs since graduating in 2020, earning about 5k+/month, but with very few prospects for career progression. Also made my degree look completely useless.

This probably made sense in 2020 when the “proper” jobs I applied for all low-balled me at only 2-3k

(which could barely cover rent, food, bills, tuition loans, public transport at that time omg)

But wondering if I start considering applying for and joining the “formal” workforce now that it looks like the job market is recovering

(and that I’m financially more stable).

Curious to also know what typical progression rate is like.

All advice appreciated TIA

Advice

It’s great that you’re considering your career options and thinking about the job market’s current state. Here’s some advice on your situation:

1. Assess Your Priorities: Before making any decisions, take some time to reflect on your career goals and priorities. Consider what’s most important to you in terms of job satisfaction, financial stability, and long-term growth.

2. Evaluate Your Financial Situation: It’s positive that you feel financially more stable now. Ensure that you have a clear understanding of your current expenses, including rent, bills, and tuition loans. This will help you gauge how much you need to earn to comfortably cover your costs.

3. Explore Formal Employment: If you believe that the job market is improving and you’re interested in pursuing more formal job opportunities, start actively looking for positions that align with your skills and interests. Update your resume and cover letter to highlight your experiences and strengths.

4. Salary Expectations: When applying for formal jobs, research industry standards and typical salary ranges for your role and experience level. Don’t settle for lowball offers. Negotiate your salary to ensure you receive fair compensation.

5. Career Progression: In formal employment, career progression can vary widely depending on the industry, company, and your own performance. It’s essential to set clear career goals and communicate them with your potential employers during interviews or performance reviews.

6. Continuous Learning: Keep in mind that formal employment often offers opportunities for professional development and training. Take advantage of these to enhance your skills and advance in your career.

7. Networking: Building a professional network can be instrumental in career growth. Attend industry events, connect with colleagues, and consider joining online networking platforms like LinkedIn to expand your contacts.

8. Seek Mentorship: Consider finding a mentor who can provide guidance and support as you navigate your career path. A mentor can offer valuable insights and help you make informed decisions.

9. Adaptability: Be prepared to adapt to changing circumstances. The job market can be unpredictable, so having a flexible mindset and a willingness to learn new skills can be beneficial.

10. Stay Informed: Keep up to date with industry trends, job market reports, and economic news. This will help you make informed decisions about your career choices.

Remember that your degree is not necessarily wasted, even if you’ve held odd jobs. The skills and experiences you’ve gained can be valuable in a formal work setting. Ultimately, the key is to make choices that align with your goals and aspirations. Good luck with your job search and career journey!

So I am an ugly guy. People have said I am a 0 or even a -100 to my face and yes, this includes both gender. I am kind of low in terms of intellect. I barely scrape through things by putting my life and soul into studying my entire life. Most people can absorb things way faster than me. I somehow managed to graduate.

I was bullied a lot in school because of how I looked and how stupid I was.

Due to this, I talk very little, almost only if neccessary, and I have no friends till this day. I basically stay invisible where ever I go. I am actually quite scared of people, especially if they are really good looking or smart because they say the most hurtful things.

I have to work at least 3x harder than my colleagues to do the same thing at work. I am slower than everyonem People talk behind my back and I have accidentally seen their whatsapp messages about me. They dont outright bully me so at least I am happy about that.

I met a colleague who was nice to me whenever we talked. She was kind so I really liked her. I helped her when she got stuck as she was new. She was really beautiful too. I thought maybe something good was going to happen, like maybe I get something good in my life after all the suffering. In the end, I found out that she got into a relationship with a handsome and rich guy. I felt I was pranked by heaven and so stupid to think that a beautiful girl would even like me.

I tried dating apps and even some dating events. My requirement is basically anyone who can accept me. I dont care if the person is ugly, not smart or poor. I do wish the person is a little kind and doesnt hurt me. I got insulted and even gotten disgusted looks on events. Also, no swipes on apps unless it is a bot.

I dont drink alcohol, gamble or participate in any vice activities. Contrary to what everyone thinks, I dont play computer games or even watch porn. I like painting – like on canvas, scultpures and other stuff. My painting skills suck but I like doing it because I feel at peace stroking the brush and there is no one there to hurt me.

I do get jealous when I see people my age having gf, wives, hanging out with friends or even just enjoying simple things like drinking together.

I keep reading that everyone has a purpose on this earth. I really cannot think of anything for me. I am pretty much horrible at everything. I just wish I knew why I was even created.

A girl shared how she met a guy on a dating app and over time, his replies became generic and uninterested, and the girl ended up not texting him anymore.

He then scolded her for ghosting him and the girl then found out that he had blocked her already.

Here is the story

Just a rant.So recently I was talking to this guy I met on CMB. We talked for around 3 weeks.

At the start, he seemed quite enthusiastic in continuing the conversation as his replies were relatively long and he also asked me questions about myself.

I seriously thought the conversation was going fine.

But after a while, he stopped asking questions and his replies started to get really slow (like once a day) with one-liner conversation stoppers, e.g. “Oh i see” “yeah I think so too”.

To me, this is an obvious signal that he is no longer interested in talking anymore, and I thought he probably didn’t want to be so direct in telling me that he is not interested.

So after a few days, I stopped replying.

Then he sent me a text and say how I’m being rude for ghosting him and that I should have the courtesy to let him know that I’m not interested to talk.

When I tried to reply, I realised he blocked me already.I have no idea how I’m supposed to interpret such situation.

Netizen’s comments

• No need to do anything. Lol. I play ping pong against the wall also get more responses. Hahaha.

I made a post on Twitter about my mental health declining (which it has been absolutely since i moved to be with my bf.) we’re having a lot of issues and it’s just really hard for me to process things as i lost my whole support system (my family) and i feel so alone here. i didn’t mention anything about my relationship or situation in the tweet, it was just more so a bit of an apology for the image i had been portraying recently.

so last night i received a message from my bf’s ex wife.

“Hello, this is probably the hardest thing I will ever do, and please don’t think this has to do with who your with… but more so your mental health. One of your tweets popped up on my feed about your mental health, and I had to message you…

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that every one of [his] exes pops antidepressants and anti psychotics now… I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he also asked you to move, he isolated me from family, trapped me into paying a expensive car and refuses to get anything cheaper… took all my money, watched my mental health deplete to not being able to leave the bed (you think im exaggerating… I didn’t work for 6 months because I would BLACKOUT) PLEASE DO NOT LET YOUR MENTAL HEALTH GET TO WHERE MINE WENT…

I KNOW what he is like. I freaking married the guy, and I know… that my mental health issues were because of the way he treated me, and gas-lit me, and made everything seem like it was my problem to deal with on my own, how he doesn’t lift a finger and expects you to be a housewife AND still go to work and help with bills…. because people.. don’t.. change… not people like him, with his god-like Kanye complex, he will never change and he will never help you better yourself because he is only here to better himself. I don’t KNOW your relationship, I don’t know anything about you, or frankly, anything about him anymore….

But what I can say is I went through major depression for 3 years, and before [him] I was fine, and after him I have NEVER been MENTALLY better. Block me, ignore me, do what you need to. But… before you get to where every one of his exes is… see that the history is repeating itself. Take care”

So, I haven’t told him yet. And I don’t think I want too. I’ve been afraid of a lot of the things she said before she said them.

Made excuses. I just don’t really know how to get out. I don’t know if I’m just looking for advice? or support? i’m just terrified now tbh.