If you had to go to jail for a month, would you tell your employer?

Context: Female, early 20s, good family support (though not rich financially), job in tech start up, can afford therapy, already in current job for close to a year, have been going through rehabilitation and professional counseling since incident

Employer is not too stringent on background checks, I am doing okay work performance wise and relationship with bosses wise

Integrity is key but having to job hunt with a criminal record would suck more. So I am considering ‘hiding’ it and asking for unpaid sabbatical to fix personal matters if sentence is short

I’m at my wits end, I hope I can get some advice, thank you.

It’s alot of mixed feelings and the question is really about honesty vs practicality. Do the right thing and be honest? Or keep quiet, hide a skeleton and keep my life going as per normal.

Netizens’ comments

1. The following is just to clarify your understanding on criminal record declaration:
   – Your employer isn’t the one reporting to MOM or the world that you have a crim record. You cannot ‘hide’ your criminal record from a background check. Whatever is in the system, is open to all to check. And there are literal companies specialised in BG Checks. You won’t be able to hide anything.
   – You can choose to hide it from your current employer, sure, but this is almost guaranteed to be a breach of contract and if they ever do find out, termination is guaranteed, along with whatever other penalties they try to levy on you (clawback of benefits etc). Possibly even make another police report against you. Read your contract carefully.
   – You can lie on your application, pass the interview stages etc but ultimately you’ll never make it past the final background check (unless its a shit-run family SME) which basically every proper firm out there does as a bare minimum. Integrity is paramount, and no one hires a liar.
   To end off, imho I would come clean and if that leads to termination, then so be it. A crim record isn’t the end of your career.
2. Check your contract. Usually you are obligated to disclose any pending or possible criminal charges.
   A few friends have gone through this before. Unless it’s something like fraud or assault or theft, employers usually won’t care.
3. If it is a minor offence, just be upfront with your employer. Honesty leads to clear conscience. Even if you hide it and move to other jobs in future, your new employers could still do background checks and find out
4. Have you considered what happens if your colleagues have a question and message you without a response during that 1 month?
   Do you have a lawyer? Is 1 month a certainty? When will it happen? Many times the case can take months or years to conclude.
5. Somehow, they are going to find out. Just tell them the truth. The worst is getting fired.

My fiancée asked me to choose between her and my mom, and I chose my mom.

My mom turned 60 this year, and she is not going to live 5 years longer. 12 years ago she had a stroke, that left her half side paralyzed.

She still lives alone, and takes care of herself completely by herself. She is very resilient, and I am incredibly proud for her, but I know that her chances of living for another 5 years are very low.

My fiancee got, surprisingly, a promotion in the dream job she always wanted. Saying it’s a GIGANTIC opportunity would be saying that a Ferrari is just a car.

It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance. It will change her life forever. It will fullfill everything she wanted, it will make her rich.

It also involves her moving countries, thousands of kilometres away. There is no way she won’t accept it, and I wouldn’t want her too.

The moment she told me about it, I knew it was over. She asked me to come with her, I didn’t even need to think about it and said no. It broke me apart, and it broke her apart, and I feel nothing and simultaneously just pain.

My mother has 5 years left, at best, then she will die, and just … never be in my life again.

For the rest of my existence until oblivion also swallows me up, I will never get to meet her again, hear her living voice again, she will be gone forever, just gone.

The clock is ticking for her, every day a bit louder, and I can not, simply can not, move away from her, and see her only once a year any more. How could I accept that only seeing her 5 times before she stop existing? I cannot. Period.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it wasn’t a hard choice at all. I want to stab myself.

I accidentally got added to a group chat with coworkers where they spoke dirty about me(20F)

I have a part time job I work 3 days a week. It’s mostly made up of mid 30s-40s men. I’m typically shy so don’t mingle much at work.

We have a big event at work soon my manager suggested creating a group chat to keep everyone updated. It had been a few days since this was discussed so I asked one of my coworkers to add me to the chat. So he did. But I don’t think that’s the one he wanted to add me to.

This group chat was basically a boy being boys group chat. People commented about how I am a tease and should be used because of that.

Someone mentioned they think about my bouncy chest when f-ing their wife. People were cheering on each other when they said nasty things.

They don’t about other women at work too but I seemed like a popular one for being younger. This group included my manager and my mentor soooo

I actually found it very hot. I wonder if I should play cool or go all out and tease them intentionally now lol . I am tempted show them the other side of me.

Netizens’ comments

1. Well, while you have your fun, might as well use the opportunity to get some nice bonuses and raises since you can fire everyone in the group now.
2. Screenshot the images and save them. Dress revealingly as hell. If anything comes of it and you get in trouble you have plenty to present to HR
3. Stay incognito so you can eavesdrop. When they up the ante with escalating ideas, make sure to wait 2/3/4/randomly days before acting on those ideas.
4. Absolutely save those texts in case you need them. Then flirt and tease the shit out of the ones that said the dirtiest stuff about you. Wear tight pants and bend over in front of them intentionally…..I bet you’ll get some real enjoyment out of screwing with them

Do female Singaporeans wear sports bra only as a top?

Hello, I’ll be traveling to SG soon and I don’t want to offend anyone. I was just wondering is it common for Singaporeans to wear sports bra only as a top (without jacket/ windbreaker) when jogging/ running in parks, cycling and going to gym? Or just as daily outfit to the mall.

I asked a friend living there and they said it’s uncommon, so I just want to double check.

Netizens’ comments

1. Unless you are exceptionally busty, no one would give you a second glance.
2. Just wear it and come running near my estate, I help you keep a lookout for perverts.
3. It is pretty common now, honestly no one bats an eye. However, you may get some looks if you’re around housing neighbourhoods, coffeeshops around those areas where older folks typically hang. But in the city, more hip neighbourhoods like Katong it’s very common. Generally you’ll get a quick glance, but everyone moves along.
4. You might meet the occasional karen that would hiss at you. But most people mind their own biz. Older men might stare.
5. For walking and exercising outdoors, it’s more common in the central areas (think CBD, Orchard, Robertson Quay), and less common in residential areas, but you’ll still see it occasionally. I think it’s more common in the gym too, but there are many ladies who would cover up or change once they are done.
   I don’t think it offends anyone, just that it’s personal preference whether you want to be more conservative and cover up to avoid people staring.
6. quite common. Please go ahead and do so without worry.
7. If you’re worried, wearing a singlet over the top would be enough to make a difference
8. I don’t think you’ll offend anyone. You may get some stares here & there, but no one (unless they’re nosy boomers) will actually tell you off. I’ve seen a lot of people wear sportswear in the mall.. Personally, I wore a sports bra at F1 because the weather was so hot 🥲

As a man, do you have that anxiety of being viewed as pervert whenever you are out in public?

I am going to be straightforward here, this is happens to me a lot and causes anxiety too, especially in public transport because its crowded so we bump each other a lot.

Whenever I stand near women, I feel like they are always jugding me and staring at me like I will do something wrong, idk if they are thinking that I am going to molest them or not.

This causes a lot of anxiety build up. In the recent weeks, I have tried to avoid women at public transport as much as I can, such as standing at the end of the train or near the doors facing the windows.

I also dont know if this is just me or anyone else feels this way, because of today’s ideologies such as radical feminism or LGBTQ and with most cases being men as well, I dont know how they view men around them.

I know I sound stupid for writing this but I cant keep it in any longer.

Netizens’ comments

1. Oh this is kinda funny cos I was talking about this with my boyfriend last night. Whenever I’m walking alone at night and there’s a man walking behind me, I get paranoid. I notice that when these guys realise I’m anxious or stressed that they’re behind me, they’ll quicken the pace and try to overtake me, which actually makes me more scared cos I’m worried they’ll run up and grab me.
   But something I think about often is whether these men are MORE anxious that IM anxious, rather than me being anxious about them being behind me.
2. Not in public transport but when I run at night, I will make it an effort not to run behind women and overtake them as soon as possible to avoid seeming like a pervert.
   When walking at night, I make it an effort to not stay behind them for too long.
   Last thing I want is for them to whip out their phone and accuse me of being a pervert following them.
3. my take is that if you didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing to be anxious about. women are generally more on guard to protect themselves from potential molesters, creeps etc. and if it’s not you, it’s not you la…

Gave notice and now my boss is trying to tell me I have to extend it.

I was offered another job and gave my two weeks at my current job. She responded back that I had to give 30 days and would verify the date. She verified the date, and I told the other place.

I signed the offer letter for the new job. I had put in for one day of leave, weeks prior to giving my notice.

My boss emailed me today and said she didn’t realize that I was off that one day, and I might have to extend my notice by one day.

I am beyond irritated right now, and she’s the one that approved it. There is absolutely nothing in the handbook that states we cannot use our leave during our notice period.

I am seriously tempted to go drop off everything tomorrow and enjoy some time off before starting my new job.

Netizens’ comments

1. You don’t have to do anything of the sort. Never forget that they would force you out without any notice whatsoever
2. Notice is a courtesy. If you can afford it, and there’s no contract signed that requires the 30 days, then I’d be tempted to ignore your boss. What’s she going to do… fire you?
3. They think they own you. Show them the truth.
4. You have another job ready they are lucky you are giving them two weeks lol most people don’t do shit those two weeks either you check out and get ready for what’s to come. F that lol
5. A notice period is a courtesy, not a law. Stop letting your boss TELL you when you can leave.
   Give them a date that will be your last day working for them and stick to it. Don’t let them badger you into extending it, because that’s all they can do–badger you. They have no legal recourse to force you to extend your notice period.

I saw a female friend of mine having a bad stomache ache and repeatedly farting uncontrollably one night ago and got turned on by it, I then went home and pleaasured myself thinking about it.

I was with a couple friends last night and one of them didn’t react well to food we ate or something and kept farting next to me.

She couldn’t control it and it kept forcing itself out and we were all laughing. But the truth is it made me really turned on for some reason.

I’ve never been attracted to her before even though she is attractive and I don’t have a thing for forting or at least I didn’t used to. But regardless her constant farting kept making me feel hot.

Eventually we all went our separate ways and I went home and pleasured myself thinking about her and the sound of her farts.

After I was done the post nut clarity hit me hard and I practically had an existential crisis over it. The guilt and shame almost brought me to tears.

To make matters worse I watched videos of women farting today as a test and they made me turned on. I don’t know how to cure it or stop the intrusive thoughts about it.

This sucks please help.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’m really upset you didn’t end this with “this stinks”
2. Oh dear god
3. Oh great heavens
4. Lmaoo I’m just imagining you touching yourself to a fart compilating video playing and it is funny as hell
5. That’s cool. You probably liked it because it was a uncontrollable body function for her. Once that starts it ain’t stopping until its done.
6. Sometimes sharing isn’t caring
7. Why am I here wtf
8. If this is the worst thing you ever do, you’re doing pretty well.
9. My ex husband used to get turned on when I farted too. Don’t worry. There’s much worse things in the world to worry about. You’re fine, I promise.