This happened last week, I told my husband, I was planning on having a girl’s night in at home and he initially was like “No not here…get a hotel or something” I said I couldn’t afford a hotel + no need for a hotel. He asked if he could join us if he’s going to allow it, but I said no, this isn’t how girls night work. He eventually agreed to let me have it and even said he’d go out so my friends could be comfortable.

I invited the girls over and most of them had a lot of heavy venting to do, at some point things got a bit emotionally charged and there was crying, lots of it. After that we brought in the food and drinks, When I went to turn the TV on, I spotted a small device tucked on the side, I took a look and found that it was actually a voice recording device, I was in disbelief, I knew my husband put it in there to listen to our private talk which felt highly violating.

I didn’t hide it from the girls, I showed them the device, called my husband to get him to get home and confronted him right there in front of the girls. The girls were shocked and my husband denied it after I flipped out and called him out, then said he was feeling curious to know about what we were talking about and wanted to make sure we weren’t “trash” talking him specifically. The event was cut short and the girls left.

I kept lashing out at him for ruining the night and possibly my relationship and trust with my friends, I said that not only did he violate my privacy but my friends’ as well. because they were talking about very personal stuff, He argued that it was no big deal, That I should’ve let him join us if we “had nothing to hide” and that this was ON THEM for opening up about private matters to begin with. He went on to talk about how I humiliated him to call him out infront of my friends, I told him they deserved to know who he really is after what he’s done. We argued some more and he went out again.

We’re in conflict till today and I feel like I made a mistake calling him out like that aside from how I felt about it. He claims that my friends will no longer respect him after that.

What should I do?

Think my weight made my partner go flaccid during our bedroom session.

I (20F) am super embarrassed about my weight and making my (26M) boyfriend flaccid.

Just to put this out there, I’m not obese or particularly heavy. I’m 80KG. I am working to lose weight, but it’s obviously a process.

This happened last night, where me and me are my partner were getting to it. We were in missionary and he wanted to change position, and that’s fine.

Essentially he tried to pull me into this sort of cow girl position, as in he’d sat up, put his legs down and then tried to pull me into his lap to do our business that way.

I’d never been in this position before (I should probably mention, I’m really not experienced. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just under 2 years and he was my first everything!)

Since I’d never been in this position before, I didn’t know how to move. I tried, but it just wasn’t… working for me, and I don’t think it was working for him either.

After that we moved into standard cowgirl with me on top but he was totally flaccid and we couldn’t continue (I did try to get him going again) but we spent the rest of the night cuddling.

My partner says he just wasn’t feeling it, but I think the awkwardness of him trying to pull me into that position and getting me to move totally killed the mood…

He’s always said he loves my body, and reassures me that I’m beautiful but this has just made me really self conscious about my weight.

I know he’s not done anything wrong but I’m just venting. I am actively losing weight which I’m happy with, I just wish it would come off quicker to avoid embarrassing situations like this!

My (38f) husband (38m) is not as attracted to me as he was and I’m struggling with that

My husband gave me the silent treatment and I didn’t know what I did. Finally he said he was processing things about our relationship.

This gave me a lot of anxiety because I didn’t know what. Finally he wrote to me and said he wishes I valued appearance, exercise, tone etc as they’re important to him but he’s now able to accept that is just the way I am.

I got the impression before his attraction to me was waning and I do need to lose some weight and tone up, but I am feeling so hurt my libido has tanked and I don’t even want him to see me without clothes anymore.

How can I be comfortable feeling confident and attractive with someone who has judged my body and found me lacking? I appreciate the honesty, but it hurts and right now I resent him.

I feel so ashamed about myself and my body I can’t imagine being happy to sleep with him now. How do I fix how I feel?

Netizens’ comments

1. He quit talking to you randomly and then sends a text indicating that?
   If you don’t want to sleep with him right now, don’t. Tell him his words made you feel like he’s not attracted to you any longer and made you feel like crap.
2. The last three times a friend has shared her partner saying something eerily similar- turns out they were sleeping with someone else.
3. Some other people mentioned it but the silent treatment along with him texting you how he feels about you attraction wise seems to indicate that he’s cheating, or looking elsewhere.
   At this point if you were to completely change your appearance I don’t think it would matter to him but what would matter to YOU?
   What do you want to do with this information for yourself. Are you happy with yourself? Do you feel good about yourself? To hell with how he feels about you, how do you feel about yourself?

I (32m) walked in on my girlfriend (24f) cheating with a guy (39m) she told me not to worry about. Should I tell the guy’s wife about it?

Walked in on my ex-girlfriend and this guy in our apartment at the beginning of the month. She had been telling me not to worry about him since the beginning of our relationship a year and a half ago, but admitted to sleeping with him on a camping trip in June and a few times after that.

He is married with a pregnant wife. I don’t know if he’s told her that he sleeps around or if she knows, but I doubt it.

I looked her up on Facebook and am thinking about messaging her. I’m angry, and a lot of it is revenge, but I think that someone in her position would like to know that information.

Should I tell this guy’s wife about his affair?

Netizens’ comments

1. If someone had known your girl was cheating on you would you like to know?
   You could have avoided walking in on them if you had known about the camping trip when it happened.
2. For what reason would you possibly be thinking of not telling her???? It’s crazy to me that people actually sit here and won’t tell other people that their health is being put at risk- never mind the health of an unborn baby.
   If you are remotely any kind of decent person you would always tell the partner what’s happening. If you are the kind of person who doesn’t tell-you have the same kind of morals and levels of integrity as the cheaters themselves.
3. Yes tell her!! She has every right to know and who knows what he has been doing behind her back. They both deserve their karma.
4. “You don’t have to worry about him/her.” People really need to realize this is code for you 100% need to worry about them.

A guy from my course has been bugging me over the idea of giving him an affirmation of my feelings for him. I am not sure what kind of affirmation he needs. An affirmation from me that he can leave his girlfriend to jump ship with a new girl? Or an affirmation from me that I am okay with my man leaving his gf so that he can repeat the act in the future? Either way, I only want to be in one where I feel valued and proud to claim my rightful place.

He asserts being with his gf makes him feel like a 10/10, while I make him feel like a 2/10 (Btw I only know about him in a rs midway into knowing him). Imo, it is not my job to make him a 10/10 or a 2/10, because a person’s intrinsic value is what makes the number.

I can be with a man who is a 2/10 or a man who is a 10/10, but no matter what value people label him, I chose him because he is a 10/10 in my eye, and even if he is not, I know that I can make up for the rest of it. So no bro. I do not wish for you to be a better man for me. Instead, please focus on being a better man for your gf and work towards the shared goals. As much as you want me out of your life, the feelings are mutual. We are not good for each other.

Here are what netizens think:

• A very confusing post. He’s asking for your affirmation, which means he likes you? Then his gf makes him feel 10/10, while you only make him feel like a 2/10. And then he wants you out of his life. Simi sai is going on?

• Affirmation is actually a type of love language, you are still in contact with him because he is giving you a gift? It also could be you giving him the physical touch in exchange for act of service… either way you guys are not spending enough quality time to access on this situation.

• Finally. Someone who sees the huge red flag as red and not rose-tinted.

Daughters in law of Singapore, how is your relationship with your mother in law?

I (f28) am currently staying at my fiancés (m27) place together with his mother (f60). His parents have separated and his mom is very attached to him.

Before he met me, he would eat dinners with his mother every day and watch tv with her every night. She would also stay up late to wait for him in the couch. Now that he has me, he spends most of his time with me.

She treats me like invisible, only being cordial. The only ones she says to me are acknowledging my hellos. If I don’t greet her she would ignore me.

When she comes home, she speaks to my fiancé and offers him food only, without looking at me or offering even though I’m right next to him.

She has also been taking her time to look for a house after the divorce. She says things like she doesn’t want to stay with us after our marriage in our new house but her actions are the opposite.

In fact, she even claimed that hdb would reserve flats for divorced people and has been dragging on the process of getting a house by saying that she is emailing hdb and wanting to try for sbf instead of getting a resale.

When my fiancé stood up for me and said she could only stay till June next year, she got all passive aggressive and ask why he has to be so calculative with her. And even asked him why he gave me the assurance that she would be out in six months.

Why can’t she understand that all new couples want their alone time with each other? I wonder if being with a person whose mom is so attached to him will pose many more such problems in future.

My mother treats my fiancé really well and she shows us both love and care. I don’t know how I feel about my mil and if she is going to stay with us in our new home for at least six months, shouldn’t she at least make an effort?

Tl:dr My mother in law is treating me like invisible. I suspect she is secretly annoyed that I took her son from her.

My boyfriend cheated on me so I slept with his best friend, no regrets.

So a few months ago, I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me while he was on holiday because the girl he slept with messaged me to say he lied about it and she was really sorry.

I didn’t confront him at the time because I knew what I wanted to do.

They all came home and I just carried on like I didn’t know. One evening I asked his best friend to come to the pub with the girls but it was only going to be me.

I confronted his best friend whom I was certain knew about his cheating, and said I know my boyfriend cheated because the girl told me so don’t deny it, he gave it up straight away lol.

He was chatting so much shit about him so I knew he wanted me.

We drank for hours and I began to flirt with him, I let him rub my legs, touch me etc. I said to him I want him to f me so I can get my payback and he accepted!

We went back to his flat and he f-ed me like he meant it. I guess he wanted to do it so badly… I begged for him to finish in me which he did, he was still rock hard after round 1 so I let him have a second round and finish on my face before I went home to my boyfriend.

The best part is that my boyfriend wanted to f me… he ate his best friend’s juices out of me without knowing, telling me how good I tasted. I broke up with him like 2 weeks later but he still has no idea and they are still friends now.

You reaped what you sowed, and I have no regrets.

For the entirety of 2023, I (25F) have only slept with my fiance (32M) 3 times.

Our life in the bedroom has been going downhill and lately I’ve just stopped trying to make it better. We’ve been together for 3 years and we go along great. But in bed, we’re really incompatible.

It was great the first 6 months. Then I don’t know what happened, he just stopped wanting to sleep with me. I fought with him a lot the first two years, threw tantrums, begged to see a therapist, cried, but it only made things worse.

So I just stopped trying. I stopped initiating. Stopped dressing nicely to avoid getting disappointed. I just put all my focus on my studies and work.

I feel the relationship ending. I think it went south the moment I stopped trying. And the problem is that now I feel guilty for stopping.

Maybe if I actually made an effort this year things would have been different? Maybe if I took care of myself (hair, etc) more we would have gotten intimate a little more? Maybe I could have saved this relationship and maybe this is all my fault..

The thing is, I don’t want to be married to someone who only wants me if I’m 100% perfect. Because I know after having kids it will be impossible to be 100% perfect all the time.

My hair will be messy, I will go weeks without shaving, etc. Is it unrealistic to expect my man to still want me even if I look “sloppy”/messy?

Am I having unrealistic expectations from my future partner and should just take my current fiancé as he is? And settle for physical intimacy less than 10 times a year?

I feel lost. I don’t want to break off the engagement. But I feel like we’re both wasting our times..

can an employer say ‘no’ to me calling out sick?

i work in a chain retail store and i messaged my manager today about 6 hours before my shift letting her know i wasn’t feeling well, and couldn’t come in to work.

she told me i need to find someone to cover me or come in to work. i asked everyone available if they could cover for me, and not a single person responded.

i let my manager know about the situation, and her only response was “sorry, we need the coverage so you’ll need to come in”. so now im on my way to work, with a blinding migraine.

is this..allowed? i’ve never had a job do this before, i’ve always just been able to call in sick if i need to.

this is the second time this exact thing has happened, the last time it happened i had covid and was still told to come in for the day, again because we “need the coverage”.

the whole thing just doesn’t sit well with me. i understand lack of coverage can be difficult, but as an employee (meaning not in any manager/supervisory role) that isn’t something i should have to feel responsible for.

Netizens’ comments

1. “I am sick and will not be coming in. Coverage? You’re the manager, you get paid more than I do, you figure it out. Not my job.”
   If I’m sick enough to be calling in, I’m not going in, end of story. Fire me if you want, too sick to care anyway, and you just proved I was gonna have to quit sooner or later because you and your job suck. Better sooner.
2. The next time they ask you to cover your own shift, tell them that fixing scheduling issues aren’t part of your job description.
   They can say no to you calling out, but they can’t force you to come in.
3. The line I used to use was “You’re a manager, I’m sure you’ll manage” until they fired me for insubordination (I was also barred from using the phrase “Sorry, that’s above my pay grade”).