COVID made me realize I was horrible to my husband. I thought I ‘settled’ when I married him. I was a bad girlfriend and wife. I’m going to be different from now on.

My husband didn’t excite me when we were together. There were never big ups or downs. He wasn’t mysterious, he didn’t seem indifferent and he didn’t play games. Other boyfriends were investors who racked up credit card charges on credit cards for impromptu getaways to the islands or Europe.

My husband is a nurse, saved his money and planned. I was so bored, but I hated being alone. So I married him. My mom told me it was a mistake. My father told me it was the best decision.

My friends figured we’d get divorced after 12 months. He had debt from his doctoral program. We weren’t living the high life. I was 28 and wanted to be young and free. He was talking about health insurance. I liked him, but I didn’t think I loved him.

I got annoyed with him all the time. I was quick to snap at him. He would go out of his way to be kind and while I was appreciative, I didn’t realize how kind he was. I took for granted that I was ‘owed’ that experience and he was just fulfilling his obligations. I really

Then COVID hit.

I was obsessively worried about him. I couldn’t calm down and I couldn’t figure out why I was so amped. He works in surgery and the ICU and has really technical skills, so he was being deployed to help with the influx. When I couldn’t reach him one day I got so stressed out that I threw up and passed out. For much of 2020 I missed my period, I couldn’t sleep and eventually my hair was falling out. The only time I was “okay” was when I could physically see him. I realized then how shitty I had been. I got into therapy.

I realized that every guy who had been flashy, a big spender and cool and mysterious were scam artists/a man child looking for attention or a leech. They were throwing around money they didn’t have. None of those couples are still together.

The couples that threw around money and spent without care are destitute and no longer together.

The couples with the big ups and big downs are broken up. None of them could make it work.

The only couple going strong is the one I was certain was destined to fail.

The big ups and downs take an emotional toll on you. They weaken the bonds of your relationship. Volatility is bad. My mom is like that. Extreme swings, constant need for excitement in a relationship or its “boring.” Stability is bad, so she’s always looking for instability. It’s something I thought was normal.

I like “boring.” I like that we save for vacations and I am on his health insurance. I like that he is sweet and emotionally available. The “boring” guy does laundry, cooks, cleans and is a full-fledged adult with interests and goals and ambitions and passion. We have a marriage where we are together. We support each other and I have never felt as free to be vulnerable ever.

I was horrid. I was cold. I looked down on him. I can’t believe how unhappy I was. Hopefully he never finds out about the things I said. It would be cosmic justice if he left me. Now I worry about that. I just hope he doesn.t

My husband died and I’m so angry right now

People keep asking me if I’m sad. No, I’m angry, he was 25 and he died in a low risk surgery that he underwent for me. He died for no reason, there is no “greater plan” and no god isn’t watching over me. He died, he’s gone for no good reason at all.

We were trying to have kids, we have a house, dogs, we had a life together that we’d both worked so hard to build and it’s gone for nothing. It’s my fault and I hate that he died to keep me alive so I’m just stuck with this anger.

This isn’t fair, it doesn’t feel real. Why was he taken out of all the people who could have died. He was good, he died trying to be good.

He was very wealthy and I’ve had multiple people reach out to me saying at least I have his money now. No, screw you. I don’t want his money, I just want my husband back.

I hate people so much right now. Constant empty platitudes, strangers on Facebook telling me how they’re sorry for my loss when I last spoke to them a decade ago.

You barely know me Sandra you cow, how can you be sorry, you just want Facebook likes for faux sympathy.

Screw this. Screw being a widow. Screw it all.

Rant over. I’m going to bite my pillow now. Screw you pillow, you don’t even support me properly and that’s all you’re supposed to do.

Netizens’ comments

• If you don’t mind answering, what was the surgery for? Racking my brain trying to think of dangerous surgeries that aren’t preventative
  • Partial liver transplant.
    • Excuse me. That is NOT a low-risk surgery. That surgery can come with a major risk of bleeding. What exactly happened? Note – I am a doctor

Is it normal to feel sad when you aren’t included by people whom you think are your friends?

I am an introvert and i have never opened myself up to anyone. I used to have a group of friends who i hung out with in school but in that group, i would only interact with them once in awhile.

I used to be awkward as well but most of the time i could vibe with them and sometimes they would try to include me into conversatioms by diverting attention to me.

Occasionally went out with them (which was a huge thing as an introvert) but i would never be the life of the party and i think i was kind of just there, absorbing the energy from the party.

Which is why, after the 2 times i was invited to hang out, i was never asked again. I would still hang out with them in school and nobody else.

For many years since, they would celebrate each other’s birthdays, plan events and etc and i had just been forgotten.

I would see it on social media and feel really sad about it. There isnt really much i can do other than just let it be but i never found another group of friends to hang out with since as i am very introverted.

So seeing them all still together even after so many years since graduating still hurts me alot. I have tried reaching out to them personally to talk about things and tried to invite them to hang out but i would get short uninterested replies.

I think i am supposed to move on but i am not sure of how to do it, i deleted my social media accounts for about 3 years and recently came back to see those posts again which again reignited the pain.

I dont know what to do honestly.

I recently found out that my bf was cheating on me.

When I had found out I was HYSTERICAL. I was a sobbing mess and the only thing I could think of was to find one of my friends to show her the screenshots I was sent of him cheating.

I had told her that they made me too upset to look at and asked if I could log into my Instagram account on her phone so she could help me figure out if they were real or not. She agreed, so I logged in and went back to class. Once class was over, I went to go find her and she revealed to me that she had actually messaged the girl that he cheated on me with.

I wasn’t upset even though she had done it without my permission. This whole situation has put me in a bad place mentally for the past few days and my friend knew this. When I told her that I didn’t know what to do, she told me to leave him.

I understand why she told me to leave him but I also know that she has never liked my bf. Fast forward to last night when she and I were talking to each other over text. She was telling me how she hated me bf and I brought up that she had “harassed” him for a while in the beginning of our relationship. She WENT OFF at me.

She told me that she had never harassed him. I brought up the fact that she would edit pictures of him and send them to him, and I know that this made him uncomfortable because he took all of his posts on Instagram down.

She told me that I don’t know what harassment is because if I did I wouldn’t be accusing her. I told her to “cool it” because she went from talking crap to my bf to just being rude to me. I explained to her that I wasn’t in a good enough place mentally to handle this and that she was making things worse.

She just replied that she hoped that she was being rude and that my feelings were hurt.

A few years ago, I was working at a corporate job, making a decent living and climbing the corporate ladder and my investment portfolio has help me pay off my condominium, car and a good amount if i decided not to work anymore.

But I wasn’t truly happy. I was in my late twenties and I felt like I was already living a boring and unfulfilled life. So I decided to take a leap of faith and retire at 30.

Most people thought I was crazy and asked me what I was going to do with my life. But I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to travel and explore the world. I wanted to see different cultures and experience new things.

I was able to fund my travels by living off my savings. But eventually, I found myself running out of things to do. That’s when I decided to start driving for Grab.

It was quite an eye-opening experience. I met a lot of people, from all walks of life. I heard their stories and got to explore different parts of the city that I’d never seen before. Most of the time, I just enjoyed the ride and the conversations. But there were also times when I had to deal with difficult customers.

I was thinking to get married and tried dating

So i met a girl through a mutual friend and we had a good time during our date.

Then the question came, what I work as bla bla bla.

So I told her I am driving Grab but i did not tell her that i was already retired. about 10-15mins after I told her that I was working as a Grab driver she seemed to start trying to cut short on our conversations and the date ended fairly quick after.

I did not realizes then and I tried to text her a week later to ask her out again. Her replied was cold and she said “I am looking for someone to build a career together and she said that I am not compatible with her.”

I immediately knew what she meant. My job as a Grab driver.

I replied: “I agree, as I am retired and driving Grab for fun. It seems like you are still very early in your career and we are in very different stages in life. Good luck”.

About another week later she tried to asked me out I declined and told her I was going for a solo holiday.

She tried to ask me out again a few weeks later but I continued to decline.

It was clear at this stage that she regretted sending me the message and it became evidently more clear that she is nothing but a gold digger.

Yesterday I (31F) received a mail from the clinic after I had a check up for my health and found out that I’ve contracted an STD. I showed my boyfriend (32M) and immediately asked him if he’s done anything.

This is not the first time he’s given me something and said the reason for the first time was he went down on a girl when we were on a break.

I believed him and we got treated. We moved on from it and two years later. He fully denied it this time and even tried to question me if I did anything and I know for a fact that I didn’t and I tested negative for results just about a year ago.

I’ve only been with him since then. We live together now so I was confused and mad that this happened to me again especially as I thought we were planning for a family and a future together and this disease can mess with my fertility.

After some time he said it’s possible to contract the STD from foreplay with another girl. He told me that it was a dare and that’s why he did it and that perhaps that’s were he got it from.

I asked him to call that friend and confirm that in fact he really did dare him to do that. And he said he didn’t want to get embarrassed in front of his friend.

Im unsettled because since he’s already given me an STD twice and both times he’s saying there was no penetration?!? But what are the chances that the only two times he’s ever did anything unfaithful he contracted and infected me with it?

It’s hard to believe what he did and didn’t do. I feel like he’s done more and it upsets me that I have to pay for it every time and I only find out from health records.

I still love him but totally see him in a different light and I don’t know if I can trust him again. I feel stupid if I try to work it out with him again.

What if this happens again?! What should I do? How should I approach this situation?

This happened a few years ago.

Single dude at the time, hanging out in a nightclub. The place was pretty crowded when suddenly a group of girls surrounded us. We all acted cool and started dancing with each other, having a good time.

One of the girls approached me and we start having a little chat. At the end of the night, she gave me her number.

We texted for two days, things were going well and we agreed to meet for a drink on a weekday. We go out, have a couple of drinks, get to know each other and stuff and the date was going smoothly. She was a kindergarten teacher (or something like that) and she recently became single too!

It was getting late and we decided to leave so I escort her back to her car. We talk a little more and she asks me to jump in the car – which I did. We make out and eventually we get a little touchy-feely… As the heat was turning up she leans back a bit, gives me a seductive look and asks “Can you talk dirty to me?”.

…Now prepare yourselves for the f up. I think to myself “I must be a considerate and responsible person and I shall not be a bad influence to that girl”. So without freaking hesitation, I reply “No, you must leave, cause you got work early in the morning!” At the time I didn’t even comprehend what I’ve just said or even consider what she was suggesting.

Naturally texting between us died down and eventually we lost contact; and I kept wondering what went wrong. Until one day, a couple of years later my brain started functioning properly and realized my major blunder.

Should I have done it?