Should I be more concerned about doing it raw?

I (27f) personally hate when guys wear condoms because it’s not enjoyable on my end (or theirs).

I have a lower body count of under 10 (was in long term relationships for the majority of the time) but I never had guys wear condoms when I hook up with them, including one night stands.

I was always on birth control which was my biggest fear.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve become much more paranoid of contracting an STD and now actively think about having to wear a condom even though I really don’t want to.

There’s a guy I’ve been considering sleeping with but I wouldn’t want to wear a condom.

Should I be more cautious with raw dogging it on a STD standpoint? What percentage of the time do you guys use a condom when you sleep around?

Netizens’ comments

1. Friend please use em , otherwise you will worry
2. On hookups…. 100% of the time… Been dating for a while and both test clean then we’ll talk about it.
3. If you don’t want to protect yourself— go get tested together.
4. If you don’t want to wear a condom, then both of you get tested for STDs before sleeping together. If not, then just stfu and wear one. Or just gamble with the risk of STDs, your choice.
5. Always use condoms in the beginning or at the very least get freshly tested before sleeping together. I am not dissimilar to you in terms of needs, it’s why I’m on birth control, but still have to insist on a safety first approach
6. STDs will be more uncomfortable than wearing protection, and if you’re unlucky, you probably will get an STD that’s incurable or even fatal, like HIV. Wear that latex.
7. If you don’t care about your own safety, at least spare a thought for others.

I was partying Friday night and woke up with a hangover on Saturday. Thought I’d try an “exotic” massage to ease my tensions.

I haven’t been with a women in a couple years (Covid, followed by concussions… I needed my time to heal).

I arrived at the massage place and paid cash. Very polite and nice masseuse with a happy ending. I couldn’t get hard at first but eventually finished fine.

After I was done I left feeling guilty. Sure I’d assume this is normal.

But today I’m having frequent anxiety attacks that I can’t shake…

1. What if there was hidden cameras in the room? I didn’t see any but mirrors worry me…
2. Where did my sp-rm go? I think I seen her wiped it off on towel or rinsed off.

My 2 biggest fears are either it was filmed or they took my sp-rm to use… Would they do this? Am I overthinking this experience??

Please someone help… I have nobody to talk to about this.

Netizens’ comments

1. You think you Mark Zuckerberg or Jeff Bezos? They steal your sp-m for what
2. This is the most randomly paranoid thing I’ve ever read..
3. Anxiety can be very debilitating for lots of people. You need to accept the choice that you made so that you can gain control over how you feel about. Your brain is trying very hard to make sense of it in hindsight, which is why there are more negatives than positives. You can’t change the choices you make once they have been made, but you can choose to live with confidence in your decisions. Ask yourself “what is there to gain?” From those few things you mentioned, and what is the worst outcome that could occur.
4. I can never make eye contact with them afterwards. I feel so ashamed. I just mumble “Thanks,” and leave with my head down.

Wife got really angry when I pulled out and finished on her back.

So for context we have been married for about 10 years. She has some infertility issues and has to take fertility medication whenever we are planning to have kids. With this being the case, I have always just finished inside of her without worrying about unwanted pregnancy.

This week she mentioned that she had some signs of natural fertility which is pretty rare but happens once in a great while. This popped into my head as we were doing the deed tonight so rather than run the risk of pregnancy I pulled out and finished on her back.

She immediately got very angry. She said it was disgusting and went straight into the bathroom to wipe off. She came out and asked if I was going to apologize for coming on her. I said I was sorry but didn’t understand what the issue was.

She said that she thinks it is disgusting and degrading and I might as well have just peed on her while I was at it and that it made her feel like garbage.

I told her that was not my intent to make her feel that way but that it did not seem like a big deal to me in the moment. I said that I know it is not something we usually have to worry about, but what did she think the pull out method entailed?

I mentioned that it kind of also hurt my feelings a bit too that she was acting so repulsed by me. I will say that she has always been pretty prude and borderline frigid at times but I was not expecting this reaction.

Anyway it did not go over well and I am now sleeping on the sofa wondering what in the world just happened.

Extension of ORD date due to multiple MC’s being rejected.

does anyone know, to what extent the safety hotline can help? Or who is in power that i can contact to help?

Currently facing extension of ORD due to multiple MC’s being rejected. Its fucking bullshit as i said it was due to injury and surgery being done, and we all know covid, a few of them are due to URTI symptoms or close contact and me not wanting to be inconsiderate and spreading to the whole office.

The amount of MC’s is ALOT, but its all within reason and of truth, f-ing had to get MO to endorse but fucker did not believe me and sent a few MC’s to medical board to reject. Resulting in the extension of at least a month.

Netizens’ comments

1. Chao Keng gone wrong
2. Bloody chaokeng kia. Have fun serving.
3. if his mc were rejected by the medical board, no matter how much op parents shoot mindef or smc, the medical board still has the final say
4. LOL. I think you should be extended further
5. Serve lah, already keng for so long
6. hi OP, i will comment this before the incoming flood of comments which say ‘but your ORD cannot be changed unless you go DB / disruption’.
   the truth is that because MCs & HLs over 7 days have to be endorsed, if the MO does not want to endorse them it can be brought up to the medical board for rejection. if the medical board indeed deem’s that your MCs are not valid for the reasons you have given, unfortunately you will be made to pay back the duration of your MCs; resulting in your ord date being extended.
   as for what you can do about this, honestly not much. as those who work in HR unit’s will know, it’s extremely hard to change the medical boards decision once they have rejected your MCs. truth be told, it is extremely rare for the medical board to reject your MCs in the first place. i have seen a handful of cases (<10) and i have not seen a single case get back their original ORD date.
   my advice would be to try to get an extremely strong memo from your doctor stating that the MCs were essential to your recovery and bringing it back to the MO to appeal and review it with the medical board. other than that, there is nothing much you can do unfortunately, calling the safety hotline will yield you no results as this the medical board has the right to reject MCs & HLs unfortunately.

Does anyone have traditional parents that still think that daughters are useless?

My father just said to my face that even if I have a child after getting married, he does not consider it his grandchild since daughters do not carry on the surname.

Honestly I’ve never really cared much about him but I don’t understand what’s his problem.

My brother is estranged from the family and does not talk to any of us. Hence my father says that he does not have a “heir” and that my children will not be considered his grandchildren.

My mother used to be the same, but since my brother has stopped talking to them; she’s pressuring me to hurry up and get pregnant lmao.

I’ve done everything for my parents when I lived with them, their laundry, grocery shopping, cooking for them, making sure everything in the house is clean. Yet they’ve always cared or placed more importance on my brother because he’s a son.

So my father has always said that cleaning and cooking is the woman’s job, so he’s never done it and doesn’t intend to. I don’t know he’s kinda sexist and annoying.

When I was younger, I asked him to buy sanitary pads for me since he was going to the grocery store and he flipped out at me. Going on about a huge rant about how he’s a MAN and how I’m trying to embarrass him by buying “disgusting products”.

It’s 2023, he still thinks like that, I frankly think it’s quite lame. I’ve asked all of my friends, they said their fathers are different and they don’t have this mindset.

Sometimes I feel jealous of them because I’ve seen how nice their fathers are

Netizens’ comments

Parents who still have a mindset from the dinosaur age should just go extinct lol. Tbh, if I have that kind of parents, I’ll lose contact asap. No point arguing those types since they will always want to win one.

One day if they have major illness or whatever, don’t come crawling to you and ask for forgiveness or whatever.

Your brother stopped talking with your parents due to this shit? Or something else?

I let my boyfriend slap me in the face when we get intimate, even though it’s triggering.

I had to tell someone. I had to write this one down or something. It feels messed up for me to enjoy it because it’s literally so so degrading and just reminds me of all the times in life that my parents physically hit me as a child.

It’s so messed up why do I like it??? I love calling him daddy and letting him slap me in the face.

The first time he did it I almost cried because it was so triggering but something came over me later on down the road in our relationship and now I just want him to do it all the time.

This is so weird imma just leave this one here. Feel free to roast.

I also feel like I need to put this out there, but my boyfriend is not in any way shape or form mistreating me. I have given him permission to do this and he also likes being slapped as well lol.

I worked through a lot of my daddy issues but feel okay with calling my bf daddy because I don’t really make that connection I just think it’s hot af and he likes it so why not?

If anything the physical trauma I experienced all came from mom. She would shame me for the clothes I wore and would always tell me to “cover myself” because there are grown men around.

She called me names many many times and I’m sure there are plenty of women who can relate to this kind of treatment from their mother. She would get physical with me ALL THE TIME.

Netizens’ comments

• I was kind of that same way, but I was getting too mentally confused by it so during intimacy I’d tell him where to slap me and that gave me the control of it and the pleasure of it but without it being my face. Something about it not being the specific place that triggers (the face) made it feel better.

• It’s a trauma response like someone in the comments said. As a child, I was repeatedly whipped whenever I stepped out of line. Slapped, whipped, etc. It’s traumatic and I feel so weird because I really like when my boyfriend slaps and grabs me. I don’t like pain or anything but feeling like he’s in control is kinda nice sometimes.

• A lot of people develop kinks as a result of trauma. It’s a way for our brain to process what happened to us and help us experience similar things while having control, since it’s consensual. 

I scare she will “eat” me in my house. My chio bu insurance agent recently sent me a message and I was immediately suspicious. I was thinking “Is she trying to eff me?” The message read “Hi, long time no contact. Should we meet to catch up?” My first thought was that she was trying to sell me something, but then I realized that she was probably just offering to meet up for a social visit.

At first, I was hesitant to meet with her because times are tough and I don’t have any money to buy insurance. I told her that we could just talk on the phone or Whatsapp, but she insisted that she wanted to meet up in person. I was a bit worried because I wasn’t sure what she wanted and I was scared that she was trying to “eat” me in my own home.

After thinking it over for a while, I decided to go ahead and meet with her. I figured that it was better to find out what she wanted in a public place, rather than in the privacy of my own home. I was still a bit worried, but I was also curious to find out what she wanted.

Here is what the netizen said:

My chio bu insurance agent recently message me.

She: hi. Long time never contact. Should we meet to catch up.

Me: times are bad. I got no money to buy insurance.

She: its ok. We can chit about life. Don’t need to buy insurance.

Me: we can whatsapp or talk on the phone. Don’t need to meet.

She: i prefer to meet. If you want i can go to your house to meet you.

Is she a folk spirit?

I scare she will eat me in my house.

COVID made me realize I was horrible to my husband. I thought I ‘settled’ when I married him. I was a bad girlfriend and wife. I’m going to be different from now on.

My husband didn’t excite me when we were together. There were never big ups or downs. He wasn’t mysterious, he didn’t seem indifferent and he didn’t play games. Other boyfriends were investors who racked up credit card charges on credit cards for impromptu getaways to the islands or Europe.

My husband is a nurse, saved his money and planned. I was so bored, but I hated being alone. So I married him. My mom told me it was a mistake. My father told me it was the best decision.

My friends figured we’d get divorced after 12 months. He had debt from his doctoral program. We weren’t living the high life. I was 28 and wanted to be young and free. He was talking about health insurance. I liked him, but I didn’t think I loved him.

I got annoyed with him all the time. I was quick to snap at him. He would go out of his way to be kind and while I was appreciative, I didn’t realize how kind he was. I took for granted that I was ‘owed’ that experience and he was just fulfilling his obligations. I really

Then COVID hit.

I was obsessively worried about him. I couldn’t calm down and I couldn’t figure out why I was so amped. He works in surgery and the ICU and has really technical skills, so he was being deployed to help with the influx. When I couldn’t reach him one day I got so stressed out that I threw up and passed out. For much of 2020 I missed my period, I couldn’t sleep and eventually my hair was falling out. The only time I was “okay” was when I could physically see him. I realized then how shitty I had been. I got into therapy.

I realized that every guy who had been flashy, a big spender and cool and mysterious were scam artists/a man child looking for attention or a leech. They were throwing around money they didn’t have. None of those couples are still together.

The couples that threw around money and spent without care are destitute and no longer together.

The couples with the big ups and big downs are broken up. None of them could make it work.

The only couple going strong is the one I was certain was destined to fail.

The big ups and downs take an emotional toll on you. They weaken the bonds of your relationship. Volatility is bad. My mom is like that. Extreme swings, constant need for excitement in a relationship or its “boring.” Stability is bad, so she’s always looking for instability. It’s something I thought was normal.

I like “boring.” I like that we save for vacations and I am on his health insurance. I like that he is sweet and emotionally available. The “boring” guy does laundry, cooks, cleans and is a full-fledged adult with interests and goals and ambitions and passion. We have a marriage where we are together. We support each other and I have never felt as free to be vulnerable ever.

I was horrid. I was cold. I looked down on him. I can’t believe how unhappy I was. Hopefully he never finds out about the things I said. It would be cosmic justice if he left me. Now I worry about that. I just hope he doesn.t

My husband died and I’m so angry right now

People keep asking me if I’m sad. No, I’m angry, he was 25 and he died in a low risk surgery that he underwent for me. He died for no reason, there is no “greater plan” and no god isn’t watching over me. He died, he’s gone for no good reason at all.

We were trying to have kids, we have a house, dogs, we had a life together that we’d both worked so hard to build and it’s gone for nothing. It’s my fault and I hate that he died to keep me alive so I’m just stuck with this anger.

This isn’t fair, it doesn’t feel real. Why was he taken out of all the people who could have died. He was good, he died trying to be good.

He was very wealthy and I’ve had multiple people reach out to me saying at least I have his money now. No, screw you. I don’t want his money, I just want my husband back.

I hate people so much right now. Constant empty platitudes, strangers on Facebook telling me how they’re sorry for my loss when I last spoke to them a decade ago.

You barely know me Sandra you cow, how can you be sorry, you just want Facebook likes for faux sympathy.

Screw this. Screw being a widow. Screw it all.

Rant over. I’m going to bite my pillow now. Screw you pillow, you don’t even support me properly and that’s all you’re supposed to do.

Netizens’ comments

• If you don’t mind answering, what was the surgery for? Racking my brain trying to think of dangerous surgeries that aren’t preventative
  • Partial liver transplant.
    • Excuse me. That is NOT a low-risk surgery. That surgery can come with a major risk of bleeding. What exactly happened? Note – I am a doctor

Is it normal to feel sad when you aren’t included by people whom you think are your friends?

I am an introvert and i have never opened myself up to anyone. I used to have a group of friends who i hung out with in school but in that group, i would only interact with them once in awhile.

I used to be awkward as well but most of the time i could vibe with them and sometimes they would try to include me into conversatioms by diverting attention to me.

Occasionally went out with them (which was a huge thing as an introvert) but i would never be the life of the party and i think i was kind of just there, absorbing the energy from the party.

Which is why, after the 2 times i was invited to hang out, i was never asked again. I would still hang out with them in school and nobody else.

For many years since, they would celebrate each other’s birthdays, plan events and etc and i had just been forgotten.

I would see it on social media and feel really sad about it. There isnt really much i can do other than just let it be but i never found another group of friends to hang out with since as i am very introverted.

So seeing them all still together even after so many years since graduating still hurts me alot. I have tried reaching out to them personally to talk about things and tried to invite them to hang out but i would get short uninterested replies.

I think i am supposed to move on but i am not sure of how to do it, i deleted my social media accounts for about 3 years and recently came back to see those posts again which again reignited the pain.

I dont know what to do honestly.