i’m just another foreigner struggling to find a job in Singapore

So I recently graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Media & Communication and I’m a Burmese national.

When I was on Student Pass, I worked a few jobs with ease, part-time then full-time until the expiration of my pass. Now I have applied to more jobs and went to interviews that went really well until I see the interviewer’s face drop when I told them I need a Work Pass. Instant no.

The obstacle is…well, very inescapable and I’m constantly disappointed at the fact I may have gotten a job if it wasn’t for my foreigner status. Not gonna cry about it, obviously, there will be a local preference and I don’t do anything that’s high in demand. And often the companies I apply to have no foreigner quota.

I come here to ask for advice. What do I do? I cannot go home to Myanmar. I don’t have the option. There is no possible way to advance a career there at the current state, let alone find a job.

I had the option of going to university in the UK until I decided over 20,000 pounds a year was way too much for a path I wasn’t even terribly excited about. My goal is to literally just support myself in Singapore, to pay for rent, food, survive, yanno?

Is there anyone on the same boat? Would appreciate any advice. I keep on applying to jobs, aiming for bigger companies but there isn’t a lot I qualify for although I think I have a decent portfolio and amount of experience. Thanks everyone.

EDIT: Most of you guys were very helpful but there are one or two people who are…pissed? Claiming that I took advantage of Singapore. I don’t know if their fierce “love” for their country is a common thing but geez, calm down.

I truly valued my time here and worked really hard in my course. If you’re just hopping on to say “boo hoo, it’s your fault”, move on. I am not asking for sympathy. I literally asked for advice, and received it, thankfully. I already explained myself in the comments below. ‘

I’m divorcing my wife because she has been late for 90% of everything we have ever done together. Everyone we know is shocked and confused, but I don’t care.

No, I’m not having an affair.

No, I’m not having a midlife crisis.

No, I’m not looking for a younger woman.

No, I’m not hiding anything.

My wife and I have been together for 12 years. During this time, she has not made even the slightest amount of effort to be on time for anything we did. When we were dating, average wait times were 15 minutes to an hour for her to finally show up. I waited because I loved her. After marriage, she somehow got worse, and after childbirth, she got even worse. She used to blame circumstances for being late every time, but now she just blames our son. I put up with it because I loved her.

Example 1: we’re currently looking at preschools. We’re 15-30 minutes late for each meeting because the thing we need most in our lives is for the teachers to believe our son is chronically going to be late for school. It’s always something with her.

Example 2: I wanted to see a movie in theaters a while ago. She wanted to come too. I had to leave her in a clothing shop because I was going to miss the start of the movie. Of course she was livid.

Example 3: a few months ago, we went to see a concert of a group she likes. We were an hour early because of course we were an hour early. It was something that she wanted to do.

I’m so sick and tired of it. Growing increasingly anxious as she stares at her phone and trying to ask her in the nicest way possible to hurry up is a horrible feeling, especially since she will flip her lid the second that I try to tell her we’re going to be late.

Meeting up with friends, going to a children’s event with our son, for gods sake even trying to take a walk is always an ordeal of trying to get her to put the god damn phone down and get ready so I don’t have to stand there like an idiot.

I think my boiling point was last week when I stood at the entrance of our house for 20 minutes with our son, as he grew increasingly impatient, and then seeing she had abruptly decided to start vacuuming the house.

I’m getting spammed with calls from mutual friends and family. She went and told everyone that we’re getting divorced. Everyone wants to talk me out of it. I just broke after years of patience. I have no regrets.

i am flat-chested and i hate myself for it.

i (21f) don‘t know why i have such stupid beliefs about my own body, because i despise and do not believe in beauty standards, but my chest size triggers my body dysmorphia for some reason.

big chests are the ultimate female body part, they look and feel cute. a small waist or a nicely shaped butt is nothing special imo, i mean, even men can have these features.

i look extremely deformed, it‘s as if my body has completely ignored my chest and just focused on other parts.

Netizens’ comments

• Hi, OP! I get what you are feeling too. I (23F) am also flat-chested (my chest is as flat as the desert) and I had trouble with self confidence for years too. But now, I am okay with it. Give yourself some time to love yourself and your body, it might sound hard, but you will get around. People will also love you for who you are. I am glad that my partner does so. He said that me being flat chested makes him close to my heart when he hugs me 

• I know it’s hard now, but things will get better! They’re meant to attract, but they’re not the end all be all of attraction! Everyone has different tastes! If it really really bothers you, then plastic surgery is usually an option?

• I actually like flat chests haha, so there must be more people like me, like seriously
• Bewbs are bewbs my dudette, big, medium, small, we love them all the same.
  You mustn’t look only at downsides. Think of the back pain that big bewbs might’ve caused you ahahah
  Also butts are great, don’t downplay them. I can slap a butt, but slapping a bewb would be a terrible idea.
  But without jokes, I hope you are able to accept that part of your body, there are many people out there that prefer them, or just don’t care, don’t think of yourself as less because of your chest size.

I would like to share a story of my friend that I have already given up helping. My friend met a Vietnamese girl in a disco and he started hanging out with her.

It did not take long for them to become BFGF status, Things started escalating quickly. First I would like to say my friend is not physically attractive, he has very low self-esteem and the intelligence of a buffalo.

Initially, none of our clique was bothered with what kind of girl he is with and he is free to “love” anyone until he started to prioritizing the girl over regular day to day activities and started asking us for money.

It was the girl’s birthday and my friend who just joined the workforce did not have much money. Despite knowing that my friend does not have much money the girlfriend insisted that she wants an iPhone for her birthday or she will break up with him.

My friend began going around and begged people to loan him some money so that he can afford the iPhone, My group of friends explained that a real loving girlfriend who knows about his financial status will not force him to take money from other people to satisfy her materialistic needs.

He turned a blind eye to all of our advice. One of our friend’s who pities him loan him the money. It took him months before he was able to return the money and it did not stop here. In many countries, having an Apple device was like having a branded bag, proud that she had gotten her hands on the iPhone she now wants an Apple Watch from him.

Of course, he bought it for her since he already “invested” so much with the girl, in his terms he defines it as “investment”. In my terms, I called it “Gamble” and “burning money”.

Having a long-distance relationship is obviously difficult and now the girl wants even more from him. He is now paying rent for her home in Vietnam and despite spending so much money he felt insecure.

Every refusal to her financial needs will result in an argument between the couple, this is no longer a healthy relationship, more like “You pay for my stuff and I will suck your fat d***”.

He would often go to the girl’s Facebook and click on “Like” on every single post to make his presence known to her male friends.

Got rudely fired

Yesterday at four p.m., while I was working at my desk, I received a call from HR. They asked me if I could come down to their office without saying the reason.

On the way there I feared the worst but kept saying to myself that I was doing a great job so there was no reason to stress.

As I entered the room I saw one of our new partner, the guy had only recently arrived. He bluntly said that he doesn’t feel a match between me and the company’s values and that consequently they will end my contract before the trial period ends.

The HR asked me to give my stuff back to IT and 10min later I was outside in the rain without even given time to say goodbye to my colleagues or write an email.

We had an argument earlier this week with the partner over non-paid overtime, where I said that since they won’t pay me I would not do a minute of over time anymore, he argued about going above and beyond for the family to which I answered that it was not about “family value” but work for a salary. He disliked this but I did not accept this to escalate this much.

My trial period of six months was about to end in a few days and I was pretty confident. Especially since the director of my department congratulated me for doing my work and the job of two of my colleagues who left on three weeks of vacation recently.

I will now receive my paycheck for this month and 24 days of notice and that’s it. I haven’t much saved so that’s a serious hit right there.

Do not care about companies, they don’t give a shit about you and will fire you if you stand for your rights.

I miss being in prison

When I was incarcerated I longed for freedom with every fibre of my being, even if that meant being homeless and starving, as long as I could look at the stars at night.

Now, a few years on and I find myself missing it. I miss knowing exactly what the routine would be each day, eating 3 square meals, and not having to worry about balancing my diet or affordability as it was all just provided.

I miss having friends in there and I miss having people around me all the time. Its hard to make friends or keep up with a social life on the outside, whereas locked up you have no choice.

I miss the violence too to some extent. You know where you stand and what will happen if you make a mistake. You know the consequence for each action and you make choices based on that.

Out here is 10× more unpredictable, people get away with all sorts and justice is not as black and white. I feel unsure in most choices I make. I often question the morality of a situation, but in prison I just ‘knew’.

I dont know if this makes sense, it probably makes me sound very ungrateful or pathetic. I understand that. I never thought I’d feel this way and certain individual experiences in prison were the worst things I’ve ever been through in my life so my mindset doesn’t make much sense.

I just wanted to get this off my chest because I couldn’t tell anyone in my life without looking like an idiot. Thank you for reading.

Netizens’ comments

1. Nah it makes sense. It appears a twisted viewpoint bc only a handful actually understand the context of where you’re coming from. From someone else who’s been locked up, I get it. It’s a completely different type of stress and the day to day stress everyone else deals with is a lot more exhausting in a way.
2. Have you looked into joining the military? If you’re looking for a regimented lifestyle with friends and some higher levels of accountability sounds like a good option!
3. Maybe try making your routine with your rules? Some people need strict routines and now you have freedom to choose it and change if you want
   You can give especific rules to everything too if helps
   And maybe help people and let them help you on day by day things. This exchange of favors can strengthen bonds and give a sense of necessity

Can guys sense if you are attracted to them?

I just had a weird experience…I have been in a course for a month (now basically finished) and this week one of the guys closer to my age sat next to me

I was so preoccupied with the overload of the course that getting laid was the last thing on my mind…he is cute but I didn’t pay much attention to him before for around 1-3 weeks.

When he sat next to me and we talked and worked together I suddenly started having dirty thoughts about him and since then I have been having them (a few days).

We didn’t talk much before but I noticed some nervous body language around me but others were more friendly and engaged in more conversation while he minded his own business.

Idk if it is pheromones that causes sudden attraction out of nowhere or what?

Honestly I have no idea if he sensed it because a little later (2-3 days?) there was a girl around and they seemed close so as soon as I noticed he introduced her to me as his girlfriend. I had no idea he had one.

People introduce each other all the time and the environment is friendly and positive but I thought it seemed a odd coincidence lmao

I also noticed a little awkwardness but idk if it is me, sometimes he just hangs around us (me and other people but won’t talk too much).

I read some guys can sense it if a girl is somehow attracted physically.

Netizens’ comments

1. Bro I’ve been married 4 years and sometimes I’m still not sure if my wife is attracted to me. We have children.
2. I’m completely oblivious. A woman has to actually tell me.
3. I’ve had this conversation recently with a longtime female friend. I’m 46 and don’t personally recall any time in which a woman has openly hit on me. So to answer your question, yes, we’re quite unaware of our surroundings on most days.
4. You can tell a guy and he still wouldn’t know 50% of the time…

Those who are working/ have worked in SMEs, is it really that bad?

Have long heard of the bad rap for local SMEs. Not generalizing all but if these points are brought up time and again, it must be happening in most companies.

Most common complaints I heard are being underpaid (sometimes way below the market rate), poor career profession, lack of opportunities, poor work life balance, being asked to take on multiple job scopes unrelated to your job, overworked (due to them cutting and saving on manpower) etc

Those who are working or have worked in SMEs, are these really true?

Netizens’ comment

1. Worked with SME for 3 years. What I can say is SME you have to see luck also.
   But expect to do work beyond your job scope and still be paid the same. So example you’re hired as technician but you still be roped into issuing invoices to client or handle back end paper work for audit etc.
   But there are perks. Like example promotion based on your skills. Me for example I have a technical diploma and was initially working as a technician. But through ad-hoc activities I’ve done for the company we found out I’m quite good with operations and paper work. So I was promoted to do back end sales and operations with some pay bump. Something that I can’t see happening in MNC unless you have an degree education popping out of nowhere for the new role.
2. Worked in an SME, engineer. Was told to go to their home to fix their penthouse automatic blinds. Lol
3. I interned in an SME.
   Yes, it’s really that shit.
   As one of the only 2 other male interns (or even Jnr exec), I had to always help out with the more physical work including shifting tables, climbing to fix bulbs and whatever nonsense.
   When I extended to wait for Poly placement, I suddenly found myself doing work from MY department, as well as getting stretched to other departments because of pure incompetence from the execs, and also how work gets passed around like tiki taka football, Manager delegate to Snr Exec, Snr Exec pass to Exec, Exec pass back to Snr Exec, pass back and forth, sit on it, then kena Interns when few days before deadline.
   So I was literally stretched to my limits like Mr. Fantastic, I even had to OT until 9PM on multiple occasions.
   The environment is also damn toxic, ants like to gang up together and start picking on others, then they KPKB when we retaliate and they themselves kena.
   The only saving grace was that the Upper Mgmt was competent and worked to resolve such nonsense.
   I’m never returning to an SME again.

I met this girl (23 f) at a nightclub and she invited me to her place. She was the hottest person in the entire place by the way, so I was very thrilled.

We hooked up and fell asleep. I then woke up to pee and started looking for the bathroom. I went into a room but it was not the bathroom, it was sort of a storage room.

I was extremely drunk and was about to pee myself, and I just…peed on the floor. I literally have no logical explanation for it.

I saw a piece of clothing and proceeded to throw it on the pee puddle. I then went back to bed. The whole thing was like a fever dream.

When I woke up again and as the memories started flooding back in, I realized what the f have I just done and the direness of the situation.

I started to brainstorm about how to clean there and get rid of that clothing. But it was almost impossible for me to get back to that room without risking being seen by her flatmates, which would draw a lot of suspicion since I was a stranger and had no reason to get into another room.

She was still asleep. I woke her up to say goodbye, and left…

I can’t stop thinking about how are they going to find my f-ing pee there, on someones CLOTHING. I am so disgusted by myself. I shared this with my friends because this was just too heavy for myself to handle, but sharing it made me feel worse as I got sadder for confessing this.

Edit: I want to thank everyone in the comments for sharing their own experience and for their kind consolations, I read each one of them.

It will take me some time to stop ruminating about this and accept the situation. I was not sure whether if coming out would be the better decision but as time passed I realized that it was, because the idea of someone cleaning up after my mess sucks more.

This was also my first time in a strangers house, and I learned that one should definitely go to the bathroom at first, both for a little self care session and to LEARN WHERE IT IS in case of an emergency.

Netizens’ comments

1. Young drunk people pee on things, I have at least 7 stories I can remember from a decade ago, all with different people.
   One girl wrecked a computer, one guy peed in a drawer while drunk and half asleep, another girl pee blasted a bus stop, another guy peed and then vomited in the corner of a shared bedroom on a holiday. I’ll leave it there.
2. Well you will forever be a story in her life.
   “This one night stand i took home one time peed on my floor and left without saying a word.”
3. I had a similar experience only I didn’t have alcohol to blame. First date and it was an amazing date. Took it to the bedroom and had a great session. Middle of the night the urge to pee hit. Her bathroom was connected to her bedroom and only separated by a curtain. I called myself being considerate by not turning the light on.
   So I whipped it out and did my best to hit the side of the inside of the toilet bowl so as not to make too much noise. I crawl back into bed. The next morning I’m awoke by “WHAT THE F?? YOU PEED ON MY F-ING FLOOR.” Turns out I was able to keep it so quiet because I was peeing in the corner next to the toilet and in the actual toilet.