I need to rant about my looks

First of all to those people who keep talking about pretty privileges, I DO NOT DENY IT EXISTS. But we have it tough as well. I’m 24M, already some years over my NS days. But my skin is those where it never gets tan at all. So even until now, my skin is clean and white AF. Not only that, I do know that I look better than average although I don’t think I look good looking enough to be considered “Handsome”.

Speaking chinese often, people around me tend to call me “清秀” and “俊美” which I am not sure whether it is to be a compliment. They often mistake me as a Taiwanese/Korean. But I am starting to feel my looks are a hinderance to my relationship life. For F sake, I got rejected by girls which only to be told by their friends that “she thinks you’re a player, but your looks rlly honestly give the F-boi vibes”.

什么 the F? I can control how I look meh? I tried tanning my skin and it doesn’t work at all. I cannot grow a beard, nor a mustache fits my face shape. I’m done bro, when guys ugly people call us “simp, desperate”. When guys look better, people call us “F-boi, player”. What is it u girls want??? WALAO. But anyways thanks for allowing me to rant here

Here are what netizens think:

• Its not just ugly and good looking spectrum. Have you not seen a Venn Diagram in your science class? Girls are looking for square/nerdy but delicious looking boy scouts. You are probably the delicious looking pervert in their spectrum. Thats better than pervy boy scouts I guess.

• Maybe it’s the 氣質 instead, 相由心生 afterall. Take some time to reflect, are u really the playboy like they describe? And yes, as full grown adults, we do have a certain degree of control over our looks indeed. Not 100% of coz, but not zero either.

• Bro. White is enough la. White af is like god tier white or what? Lol. Just say, dont judge u by the looks. If still they dont want to know you then gd luck and wait another 5 yrs hope your facial structure change by then. Just joking la

• They say it’s the inner that brings out the outer. Once you can find the inner peace, with yourself, that’s when people can accept your outer appearance.

• I mean you can be good looking and all but have a tiko expression? One’s demeanor is very important too haha

At age 21 I felt my heart fully shatter for the first time. My first love of 2 years left me for someone else. He told me I don’t turn him on and he don’t love me anymore. He told me the other girl is so much hotter and has a sexier body. She was willing to do more so he picked her. Basically everything he said to me had hurt me, I felt stabs of pain drove through my heart for days. I’ve never felt so numb before in my life. We dated for over 18 month before I gave myself to him. I did everything that he wanted because I love him so much. I wanted him as much as he wanted me then. He was my first everything. I thought he was the one. He was so patient, loving and kind to me. Now I wonder were there others when we were seeing each other. Was anything real between us? How did I not see this coming?

How can I be on top of the world with him then and feel like I’m in hell now? I feel so worthless now. I yearn for him and I hate him. Why did he do this to me…… was our love ever real? Now I see that he changed his profile pic to him and that girl. My heart has gone numb. I never mattered to him? He got over me so quickly? My friends told me to ignore him as he’s not worth it.

How can I? How did the love vanish overnight? How do I move on? The pain is unbearable.

Here are what netizens think:

• If I had read correctly, you have yourself to him after 18 mths, he broke up with you after 24 mths. His love didn’t vanish overnight la. It was gone long before. The moment the other girl appeared. I would also boldly assume that he achieved his goal.with you, from the way you mentioned that “the girl was willing to do more, blah blah”. Get a grip and block him. Hugs.

• I think everyone would have gone through the pain of getting dumped at least once in their lifetime. The circumstances will vary but the feeling still sucks no matter what. So give yourself a lot of time to recover. I went through one similar to your experience when I was 23. Two decades later I cannot even remember his name. Lmao. So yes you will forget all of this one day.

• Not sure his age but assuming both are still young, he’ll jump to a better ship and will keep doing that. You on the other hand value love and felt betrayed by his love only to find someone else who is physically more attractive. Take it as a lesson and dont give all your love again just because he treats you like his one and only but ur still in a relationship phase. Time to stop thinking about him period.

• I understand what it’s like to feel the stab wounds– I am sorry that you’re going through this level of trauma. You have to understand that mostly it’s not you, moral fault lies with the abuser. You didn’t deserve to be told you weren’t as good as another girl. You didn’t deserve to be discarded in such an abrupt and cruel manner. You deserve a better partner who will love you wholeheartedly and want to build and sustain a lifetime relationship with you. The how is not easy, let time heal, if you realise that certain things have therapeutic value engage more in them. Could be anything e.g. being in natural surroundings, spending time with friends, travelling, a spa day etc. Take care and I sincerely hope you feel better progressively, one day you’ll be able to look back and say I survived the trauma.

Curious minds here – what’s the retirement magic number for Singapore, and when should one aim to hit the hammock? How do you quantify the numbers? i.e. 30 times your yearly earnings, with zero debts, living that dream lifestyle (specifically..)?

Just a broke lad, no car, no house, pocketing 1,000 to 2,000 monthly working at a petrol station, seeking some nuggets of wisdom. Thanks a bunch, everyone!

Here are what netizens think:

• There is no magic no. But there is a formula. Assuming you live till the age of 70….and u want to retire at 55. you take your monthly expenses x the no. of yrs of not working. So that will be 15 yrs or 180 months. if your monthly expenses is 2k, that would set you back 360k + inflation…. I suggest you do two things. Get an education that will increase your pay and get a financial planner. Retirement is decades in planning. So better plan now

• Don’t target the wrong question. Even if someone tells you the magic number is $2 mil (or whatever), so what? You probably already know that at $1-2k monthly is not enough. Change the question to something a little more within control. “What can I do realistically, to earn more than that?” Your problem is not retirement, your problem is NOW. Keep going, find a different path for yourself.

• There is no magic number. You are what you make yourself to be. If retirement is your game, then sure. Do the math, pick a number, work towards it. If not, one can always contribute to society and still be happy. (Plus there are physical and mental benefits to that too that most don’t like to acknowledge.)

• This number is a range between 25 to 40x and more of expenses. Expenses, not earnings. Expenses has many facets. Expenses are different things to different folks. Longevity of this number (the invested networth) has many facets – retirement duration length, invested asset allocation. It is such a big topic, you can research at other resource site for many, many years.

• how to get a job with higher pay first instead of planning for retirement.

I’m really considering selling used socks and panties

That’s it, really. I’ve gotten to the point financially where I don’t care. To be honest the idea doesn’t bother me or my husband.

What I’m most bothered about is the fact that we’re in this situation. We did everything you’re “supposed’ to do.

We have the house, the cars, the kids. My daughter took a really bad fall in school during her last trip before summer.

We’ve had to pay over $5k, with my insurance. How are we supposed to survive?!

We both work full time making more than our peers and still we’re here. Something really needs to change.

Netizens’ comments

• If you have a product, and there’s a demand for it, and you and your husband are comfortable with it then I’d say get selling.
• Fk it..if there’s a market for it exploit it!
• you be you, why not take the money if they are willing to send it?

With the number of ongoing scams that have been going around, one would always have to be careful with our money, login credentials and other banking information.

A netizen recently posted online after he was told to pay a deposit in order to view a property by a property agent he contacted via social media.

Here is what he said:

He claims to be a property agent and was asking for a $500 deposit for booking/reservation an appointment for viewing the property for RENTAL (261c Punggol Way)

I also noticed someone was trying to alert other people in the Facebook groups about this scammer.

There is no need to pay an agent to secure a viewing appointment. Please verify the agent’s contact details by checking the advertised number against the Real Estate Council’s registry (search under “Salesperson”). If the search does not lead to a property agent’s profile page, it means that the phone number is not registered with CEA by any property agent, and could be an indication that the advertisement is a scam.

It is always encouraging to check the property agent’s details in the property listing against the CEA Public Register to verify that the property agent is registered with CEA. You can do so by searching for the property agent on the CEA Public Register using the advertised phone number. 

Scams

This kind of scams were common in the United Kingdom and victims are typically told to pay money to secure a viewing appointment.

This kind of scam are uncommon in Singapore but it exists. Take note and warn your friends and families.