My boyfriend recently got angry with me because I had been “playing with myself” without him. He wanted to get in on the action, but by the time he got there, I had already “finished”. I had no desire to continue, so I told him that I was done. His response was to scream at me and accuse me of not wanting to include him.

At first, I was really taken aback by his reaction. I had no idea that he would react so strongly to me having an ….. without him. I thought that it would be perfectly okay for me to enjoy pleasure without him being there. I thought that this would be a sign of appreciation for him, rather than a slight.

However, I understand where he’s coming from in a way. I know that he wants to feel desired and appreciated, and that he wants to be included in my pleasure. I also know that it can be difficult for him to feel like he’s not being included in the intimate moments in our relationship.

I think that the best thing for us to do in this situation is to communicate. We should talk about what we both need and want and figure out a way to make it work for both of us. I know that I need to be more open and understanding of his needs, and he needs to be more respectful of my boundaries.

With a little bit of understanding and a willingness to compromise, we can make sure that neither one of us feels left out in the future.

I thought I’d share my story of domestic violence with you all. I was married to a wonderful man, who I thought I could truly trust. We had been married for a few years, and things were generally going quite well.

One day, out of the blue, he asked me to give him a BJ. This was something I had never done before, so I was a little scared. He seemed eager and excited to have it, so I reluctantly agreed and tried my best.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go well. I made him bleed, and he got very angry. He started screaming and yelling at me, and then he started hitting me. He punched me in the face and chest, and I felt helpless and frightened. I tried to fight back, but he was too strong for me.

He kept hitting me until I finally passed out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had sustained several broken bones and bruises all over my body. My face was so swollen I could barely open my eyes.

My husband had been arrested and charged with domestic violence. I was so scared and ashamed. I had never been a victim of domestic violence before, and I had no idea what to do.

But, despite my fear, I decided to speak out. I wanted to make sure that no one else had to go through what I did. I started telling my story to anyone who would listen, hoping to bring awareness to the issue of domestic violence.

Now, I want to share my story with you as a warning. Domestic violence is a real issue, and it can happen to anyone. If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship, please seek help immediately. Don’t stay silent – speak out and get help.

My boyfriend and I were queueing at NTUC to pay for our groceries. I needed some tissue so he dug his bag trying to take out his humongous pack of tissue for me.

He pulled out the pack of tissue, and his little stash of condoms flew out – dropping on the ground with a loud thud, springing open and all the condoms flying everywhere.

We don’t know if anyone saw it, but I had to keep flashing my engagement ring, you know, to show that we are not tweens trying to get some.

Then I realise we were wearing work clothes, so probably nobody will think we are tweens anymore. Time flies.

Netizens’ comments

• they r prob thinking u r 2 working colleagues having a tryst after work

• flashing the ring is worse leh….could be extra marital affair sia

• Better than when I was in sec school, playing truth and dare, then I was dared to buy condom at 7-11 just for fun..the cashier kept staring at me.

• Nothing wrong with that, it’s just a couple looking to have fun with safetY.

Born and bred Singaporean here working a pretty decent job. I realised that many of the expat colleagues I know live a life that is quite different from what the local population experiences and many of my local friends do envy their carefree lifestyle.

I also realise that the reason many of my local friends are feeling so unhappy is because of the social pressure from their SOs, friends, parents, bosses and whatnot causing them to spend all their time worrying about money and status.

So I always wondered, given the fact that Singapore is quite a safe and fairly vibrant city and assuming one has a decent wage, is it possible for someone who is local to actually create that kind of life for themselves?

Can a local just tune out all the noise, rent a room, and then plan and go on activities just like as if he/she was posted to another city to work, just that instead of Chicago or Sydney the city is Singapore.

Forget about BTO, forget about social pressure, forget about ippt and reservist, oh wait the last one cannot.

Add On: Not referring to the super high level expats like presidents and ceos and talents of course with the insane packages, but the many who work white collar junior to mid level jobs like many of us.

Here are what netizens think:

• Yes, if you have money, a high flying job, a liberal outlook on life and a circle of friends who are the same.

• The main reason you think they live a rather carefree life is because these expats are exactly the demographic that would risk it all to move to a new city and start afresh. The ones that are unhappy and grumbling about life are back home (like most Singaporeans).

• Well, their mid level salary and benefits package already win locals by a mile for one. That plus having the same relaxed/wlb attitude they have back home, of course they are going to have it better. Why the hell would they come otherwise

Former Expat in Singapore shares his views

As a former expat that used to live in Singapore.

The biggest thing holding back any expat from living in their home country so carefree is precisely because there are societal pressures at home.

And in Singapore the pressure to live a certain way is in my opinion is much much stronger compared to other countries because Singapore is so small and everyone sees everyone so regularly.

So I would think it’s impossible unless you move out of Singapore. And funnily enough the Singaporean expats that I encountered in Europe and the US were way more open minded so i think the societal pressures at home play a big part

 I’m a Malaysian girl in my late twenties and I’m here to share my story of why I decided to cheat on my Malaysian husband with a Singaporean guy. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m trying to be honest and open here.

My husband and I have been married for five years now, and while I still love him, I can’t deny that it’s been a rocky relationship. I look back now and realise that I probably shouldn’t have married him in the first place; we were too different, and had different expectations about life.

He was a bad husband; he was never kind to me and he never provided for us financially.

He wasn’t the kind of man I wanted. He was lazy, never had any ambition, and was content to stay in the same job and same house for years on end. He was also a compulsive gambler, a heavy drinker, and had a long-standing problem with drugs.

The more I looked at him, the more I realised that this was not the life I wanted. I wanted someone who was ambitious, who was passionate, and who wanted to do things with his life. I wanted someone I could look up to and admire, someone who could make me proud.

So after five years, I decided to make a change.

I met a Singaporean guy who was everything my husband wasn’t. He was ambitious, hardworking, and had big dreams. He was passionate about life, and he inspired me to be better. I felt like we had a real connection, and I felt alive when I was with him.

I knew it was wrong to cheat on my husband, but I couldn’t help it. I was so in love with this Singaporean guy that I decided to take a chance and pursue a relationship with him.

It wasn’t easy, and it caused a lot of pain and heartache for everyone involved. But in the end, I’m glad I did it. I’m now with the man of my dreams, and I’m sure that if I had stayed with my Malaysian husband, I would have been miserable.

Good bye ‘Loser’

I’m not trying to justify my actions. I was wrong for cheating, and I’m sorry for the hurt I caused. But I’m also thankful for the courage I had to make a change in my life, and for the love I found with the Singaporean guy.

A lot of my friends who came to Singapore to work also realised how different or better the guys are in Singapore compared to those back home.

My message to other Malaysian girls out there is this: don’t settle for a man who doesn’t make you happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and who will make you a better person. Don’t be afraid to take a chance and explore the possibilities. Life is too short to stay stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy.

My wife had an affair many years ago.  We went through all the drama, stay or go, and worked things out as much as we could.  There were thousands of miles between us and extended time periods.  We had been married a few years and gone through a lot.

I’ve heard most of the details, including some of the physical details.  But I still feel like at times she hasn’t just “come clean” with everything all at once and apologized, though she has more than admitted fault.  The only reason it really bothers me is due to the fact that when interacting on random things, she seems to be up this time of her life quite often, and without realizing it is hurtful to me.  She was living in a place we never lived together, and the affair was with a colleague.  And she’ll bring up working there like it’s nothing. 

We now have a child and I don’t think I will ever tell the child, it’s just hurtful and something they don’t need to know.  And I know my wife doesn’t bring these things up with malice, it’s just a matter of where conversations go.

In the past, it seemed like we never really completely cleared the issue up.  Both of us were guilty of using it when we were angry or arguing, and we never just talked it all the way out.  At one point we did go to some marriage counselling, and when the subject came up my wife put up a wall quickly.  I’m not sure if there was more to the affair than I’ve been told, or if it’s just still embarrassing for her to others aware of it.  I’ve never told anyone else about it, never shamed her with her family, friends, etc.  

So really, I just want it all out so she understands the pain it causes when she brings up the “triggers” for me, in hopes that she will be more considerate about it.  I know enough to know it was an affair, that became physical, then they remained close until she came back to live with me again. 

But my main concern is how to approach it so she knows it’s all just to clear the air and end my “triggers” on the issue.  I’ll be honest, I don’t care if it was more in-depth, intimate, longer, etc than she claimed, I’ve already accepted that as a possibility.  Though she’s never said it out loud, I do think she was in love with the guy, and the physical relationship was very limited. I don’t think this makes her a terrible person, and she did confess when I asked.  She was talking about him quite a bit, to the extent that I honestly think she couldn’t just come out and say it until asked.  

So what would be the best way to approach this? 

I don’t want to upset her over the past, I just want to communicate that I don’t want her to upset me over the past.  I’d especially be interested in hearing from others that used the full confession of events to help them move forward.