My new boss wants us to sign out anytime we go to bathroom or take lunch. I refuse to do so and have been threatened to be issued a warning. What do I do?

So I’ve been at this company for 18 years now. I’m a high performing senior member of my team. My boss just took another job and my new boss is psycho when it comes to knowing where we are at all times.

I’m almost 40 years old and I’m not about to walk over to his cubicle, slide my dot to the left to signal I’m going to the bathroom. maaaaybe I could see that for taking lunch. But we have a set 30 minute lunch everyday so it’s not really a thing in my opinion.

Since I refuse to sign out when I go to the bathroom, my boss has told me she would issue me a warning for “insubordination” or in better terms, “failing to follow instructions”.

I’m contemplating quitting, but I make way more than most in my engineering design field and my benefits are good, not to mention I get weeks of vacation per year.

I’m tempted to go to HR if this can’t be resolved. What would you do?

Netizens’ comments

I kept scrolling but never saw a comment to this effect. OP, have you taken it to HR – not to COMPLAIN about it, but to ASK about it? My first stop would be asking whether this is a new company-wide policy, and if so, where are the FAQs and communications about it. Stop there. Ask nothing else. See what they say.

HR often gets painted as “not on your side,” but the reality is, HR is on the side of “keeping the company from getting sued or fined.” If this is just an overzealous manager who has created a new policy on her own, which is what it sounds like, HR may not be aware that it’s happening. If you’re a salaried employee and your work does not require being at your desk at specific times, she may be toeing the line of legality, and HR doesn’t like people who toe that line. You don’t have to complain about it to HR – but before you go complying with it, maliciously or otherwise, I would at least politely ask.

Now, if HR comes back and says they support her new policy or management style… then it may be time to brush up your resume or look for a new role internally.

Cheated on 10 days after the wedding… so i revenge cheated.

So I 25F have been married to my husband 27M for 2 years. 10 days after our wedding, he went to a bar and got a girl’s number and was planning to meet her until I caught him.

He had little remorse but I forgave him for a number of reasons.

2 months after this event, he left the country and didn’t return due to some reasons. I have spent the past year and 10 months cheating on him, one of the men, I caught feelings for.

I think I’ve slept with a total of ten guys since he’s been gone. My husband doesn’t suspect me at all.

Sometimes I feel bad for what I’m doing, but then I remember the pain he inflicted on my right after our wedding. Now he’s coming back. I hope the guilt doesn’t come back to haunt me.

Am I a bad wife?

Netizens’ comments

1. Why be married? Honestly, this makes no sense to me. If you two were in some sort of open relationship that’s one thing, but this just seems toxic. You two don’t need to waste your lives with each other if this is how you both feel about your relationship
2. Damn you both sound like terrible people so that works out great! You’re perfect for each other
3. You shouldn’t have said you forgave him if you didn’t mean it. You two are probably well suited for each other. Keep up the revenge cheating, he will probably catch on and start revenge cheating, too. Scratch that, he’s probably already f-ng every woman who will let him.
4. I get like maybe one guy and then being like ok I feel a little bad but we are even- but 10…. You have some issues and probably shouldn’t be married.

Got scammed by landlord during trip to SG, what now?

I recently was in SG for 3 months, rented an room at private apartment, upon leaving SG the landlord did not return my security deposit at the end of a pre-agreed period. He has not provided any proof of damages or invoice of repairs if any. He is also ignoring my attempts to contact him.

I looked into the small claims tribunal to file a claim but apparently a claimant needs to be within Singapore in order to register for the tribunal and serve the order. I doubt this is the first time he has pulled this scam. How are foreign victims supposed to seek justice in this situation? Airfare back to sg and lodging would be nearly the amount lost.

Would contacting their bank in SG be a alternative considering they’re scamming funds with the account?

Netizens’ comments

1. Can try lodging a police report but yes, it is extremely difficult to report him if you are not in Singapore. You can blast the landlord on social media to spread awareness though
2. Landlord stealing deposits. Tale as old as time
3. I would like to emphasise that the following does not constitute as legal advice.
   As a landlord, I can assure you that landlords are strictly prohibited from keeping any part of the security deposit without explicitly stating the reasons why (e.g damages etc).
   Also, do note that for private apartments/property, tenancy leases are not allowed to be less than 3 months. This is a regulation set by the Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA).
   If your landlord had rented out the place to you for less than 3 months, he has flouted the law.
   Also, there is a chance that if your landlord has kept your security deposit illegally, he may not be declaring any rental income to Singapore’s tax authority, Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore (IRAS), that he had earned (because bad behaviour by landlord tends to indicate such trend).
   If I am in your shoes, and again, this does not constitute as legal advice, would be to contact the landlord with an ultimatum that if he does not return you your security deposit in full by a certain deadline, you would take his name, contact details, the address of the place and lodge a police report at i-witness (https://www.police.gov.sg/iwitness),and that you would also inform URA (if the tenancy lease was less than 3 months) and also inform IRAS.
   However, do bear in mind that it is possible that the person you had been dealing with is not even the real landlord. It is exceedingly common for foreigners in Singapore to rent a place in Singapore as the main tenant, then illegally sublet it out for short-period stays without the landlord’s knowledge.

I really feel for singaporean kids nowadays

As a parent of three boys, 14, 12 and 8, i really feel for singaporean kids nowadays. Not because of the Singapore education system, but because of the beliefs and behavior of many parents towards sending their kids for tuition/enrichment classes.

I mean, after a long day of school, imagine you still have to attend a two hour tuition (i think if the child is weak in the subject, or they themselves request – its a different matter). I personally send my kids for their weakest subject (chinese) once a week. But i hear tuition multiple times per week, i sometimes, i can’t help feeling that their children are living under stress and sad conditions, whom will later grow up to be resentful youths/young adults.

For those who say blame the education system, I agree to a certain extend, but I also feel things can be up to the parent to control. eg. you are the once who can decide what kind of an environment your child grows up in. Other people can be kiasu, you don’t have to follow.

You just read SGExams, so many stressed and resentful teens. I would plea for parents to prioritze your child’s happy memories of childhood. Anyway, just my ranting and seeking if there are any who agree with me. Let’s not bring in the hustle and rat race earlier than it already is.

Netizens’ comments

1. Ya I have been wondering about this too. Kids wake up 6 am and go to school at 7-1.30pm… after school also tired already…. But many of the kids don’t go home, they go to student care and are picked up at 5 pm, then go for tuition 6-7pm then play for a while then sleep, rinse and repeat Monday to Friday…. Everyday get scolded by parents to study hard…. What kind of life is this….
2. Classic prisoner’s dilemma which will exist for as long as this country retains its obsession with grades. The ideal case is no one sending their kids to tuition, or tuition only for the weakest subjects. But the brilliant kid gets even more brilliant and a leg-up on his peers if he goes to tuition. So, parents respond accordingly, exams get ever harder to distinguish between the geniuses and the merely brilliant, and it becomes an arms race. No one is individually at fault, but everyone loses and burns out (except maybe the tuition teachers) – the kids, the parents, the school teachers, and (in the long run) society.

Boss wont approve my leave just because I didnt reply her on my off day

How many of you experienced this before? Where your boss wont approve your leave just because of minor issue? Mine is because I didnt reply her on my OFF DAY, she said

“Any reply?

If a question is asked, answer it

I asked since yesterday

No one has the courtesy to reply.

I will not be approving anyone’s annual leave until all of you learn basic respect and reply to questions ask.”

I feel like telling her “do you know thats illegal? Arent you afraid I might report it to MOM?”, I work in retail the day after my off day was a Sunday and both me and my supervisor was busy with customers and other things

More about my boss, there was a few incidents were she would ask me to reply ASAP on my off day, there were a few times where she gave me warning asking me to reply while it was my off day, the store closes at 7pm, there were many times where she would text in the group chat at 9-11pm

Im so done with my boss, I love my company, I love my supervisors and my co workers, but I hate my boss

Netizens’ comments

1. Your boss is just petty. Keep that picture and report to MOM, let MOM show her the respect that she wants.
2. This is an insane boss. My team members know that they will get scolded if I catch them replying to emails or joining conference calls when they are supposed to be on holiday!
3. Nope. The only time I had my leave application rejected was when I was working for a Japanese company. The leave was to go for my honeymoon. I handed in my resignation immediately.
4. OP, please be careful as your screenshot may provide info which could potentially lead to the identification of your company.

I’m 31, have been with my boyfriend M, 37 (who’s a single dad with 2 boys) for 2 years. He has a decent job with a decent income and sports as a hobby.

For Days, Bdays and every other celebration, He’d gift me mostly jewellery and I get him his favourite gadgets or sports gear. For his birthday I got him sneakers, I found out today that his gift for me was a handmade wooden framed photo of him, me, and the kids. I gotta say I wasn’t thrilled with it.

When I told my boyfriend my honest opinion (I didn’t wanna open my mouth but he pushed me) He said he couldn’t believe this was my reaction but I pointed out that he has money for a $2,000 necklace at least so I could wear it at the engagement party.

But he said I was out of line to imply he was being cheap when all he was doing was to make me a special gift and also had the kids help with it and put so much thought and effort into it because they see me like family and I should be appreciative of that.

I said I was but still thought he could’ve added the necklace as a great combo but he got even madder saying he couldn’t understand why I’d value a necklace as much as or even over a special gift he and the kids made for me.

We went back and forth on this and breakfast got ruined. He went upstairs and refused to speak to me. I feel like he blew this out of proportion since he asked for my opinion and I don’t know if he has the right to be upset with me now.

Here are what netizens think:

• superficial materialistic pok pok gei . Just because he can afford it does not mean he has to buy it. You are judging his love for you based on the price of the item. Sounds just like the chicken i paid for.

• So you don’t have enough jewellery yet? How many necks do you have?

• it’s weird to always expect high-value gifts, especially on birthday. Not a great way to take a gift symbolically adding you to the family. Wear the first necklace he ever gave you to the party… literally can’t imagine wanting new jewelry every year how boring