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OVERCONTROLLING MOTHER IN LAW RUINS SON & WIFE’S RELATIONSHIP

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A lady shared a story of her situation at home where her Mother in Law tries to control every aspect of her husband and her relationship even when they are now married.

Things did not change even after she moved out to live with her husband in their new home and it definitely does not help that her husband consults his Mother about almost everything.

Here is the story

“My husband P and myself were dating for about a year when he misfired and got me pregnant, and him coming from a traditional family, his mother insisted that he should take responsibility and marry me.

Note: I did not like his mother very much as she kind of looks down on my family and myself because they are much wealthier.

During the meeting with my parents, my mother in law already started putting up airs with my family by not even considering the requests put up by my parents and even told my parents not to invite any of their friends and relatives as they ‘don’t have the budget’ to get more tables for more guests.

She insisted that I could only have one table for my family for the banquet and even though I offered to pay, she said no.

My husband, being a mummy’s boy and brought up in a way where he will consult his mother about anything first, went ahead with his mother’s wishes.

Truth is, she just looks down on my family.

Eventually, I just went through the ceremony and try to give in to my Mother in law.

While I moved in to stay with my in laws, she tried to control every aspect of my life, always finding problems with the little things I do.

For example, she insisted that I should not do any form of exercise while I’m pregnant in case i miscarried when all I’m doing was just yoga for pregnant ladies.

She tried to instill all the old wives tales without any scientific proof into my pregnancy, even though whatever that I was going to do is scientifically safe and approved by my gynae.

I eventually gave birth and she still tried to control things like whether I can feed my own milk to my baby (she does not allow it) because she’s scared that I will pass on a hereditary thing that I have to my baby.

I did consult my gynae on whether it is safe to feed my own milk and my gynae said okay as well.

Even when it comes to things like what am I going to name by baby, she also wants to have a say and disagrees with whatever I say/think.

I mean come on man, its my child don’t I have a right to anything?

What’s worst is my husband will always side his mother and ask me to try and give in.

Even when we already have moved out, he will still calls his mother to consult her about everything that we planned.

I’m really getting very tired of this”

Image source: Unsplash.com

MAN LOVES WORKING A “LOW LEVEL” JOB, HAS NO AMBITIONS IN LIFE

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A netizen shared how he loves working in a “low level” job and is perfectly satisfied and happy with his stress free life.

Here is the story

Honestly I don’t have a big ambition in life, I work in a warehouse and I think I’m happy doing just that, I really enjoy my job,

i used to work in an office, a pretty big insurance company and almost had a nervous breakdown, I’ve been a manager and even worked in the office of my current company but stress and anxiety got too much,

now I work in the warehouse just doing small things like moving freight by hand, debriefing drivers and scanning goods in and I love it, it pays a lot more than minimum wage due to the risk factor (heavy freight other postal companies won’t take)

but the thing is, firstly I’m an only child and always felt a massive pressure to impress my parents as their only off spring and almost all of my cousins have gone university to get degrees and “impressive jobs”

I tried University but couldn’t be bothered with it, I’m happy just doing this but at the back of my mind there is a pressure to do something “more” even though I’m happy where I am, no stress, no anxiety, good pay and Monday to Friday

Netizens’ comments

  • I quit a high expectation type of job and started working at a donut shop. I make my money , its the same day every day & keeps my stress low. No money is worth my incoming gray hairs.
  • Welcome to the club buddy, bus driver here, excellent job, finish work for the day and that’s it, never have to worry about clients or deadlines or any of the other bullshit, don’t give a shit that it’s not the best paying job or that my career path is non-existent , I’m not far from retirement anyway

EMPLOYER SACKED GUY BECAUSE SHE DID NOT LIKE HIS ‘ORIENTATION’

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A guy shared a story from his working experience back in the days after he finished his National Service and started working.

It did not end well due to his employer finding problems with his ‘orientation’ and certain beliefs she had.

Here is the story

“Years ago when I have just finished my NS and also came out of the closet, I had landed a great first job as a software developer with a very small company. Nobody at work new about my orientation because I chose to keep it in my private life.

The office admin developed a crush on me, and I told her about my orientation and said that I have a boyfriend.

She thought that I was only kidding to reject her so she went on to tell everyone that I used the excuse that I am not straight to reject her.

Our boss was a woman with certain beliefs and that did not help me as she did not like people who were not straight and think that there is no other orientation than straight.

She then calls me into her office to tell me about the gossip going on in the office and that she cannot have someone of my orientation working in her company.

My colleagues were furious with her as we were a very close team and my termination blew up quickly.

I quietly said good bye, packed up my stuff and drove home to tell my boyfriend I was unemployed because of this reason.

I started a job that paid twice what I had been making.

After two months, my former boss calls me and asks if I would work on the software project “freelance”, and she offered my former rate, to which I said no.

I told her $50 an hour (which was like 5 times my salary). She said no. A week later she calls back and says “we really need you on this”.

I asked her “are you saying you can’t finish this without me?” “Yes” she replied.

I said “You should have thought of that before you fired me for being another orientation.”

Within a month, the whole software project was shut down.

I recommended my former teammates into my company and we managed to make much more and we all got promoted in the end.

On the other hand, my former boss was given the sack as what happened blew up until the CEO knew about it and she was reprimanded for bringing her personal beliefs into the corporate world and causing heavy losses to the company.”

Image source: Unsplash.com

GUY SAYS WOMEN SHOULDN’T STUDY SCIENCE & ENGINEERING BECAUSE THEY ARE “NOT LOGICAL”

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A netizen shared how he thinks women shouldn’t study science and engineering because they are “weak in logical thinking”.

Here is the story:

Here I want to tell you one thing, that is, girls should not study science and engineering unless you are a strong woman. I will give an example of why girls shouldn’t study science and engineering, for reference only!

1. The learning process of science and engineering is very unfriendly to girls. First of all, we must all admit that science and engineering are filled with a lot of strong mathematics, strong physics, and strong science knowledge, and the learning intensity is high.

Of course, high learning intensity does not completely affect girls, but strong logical thinking skills will defeat many girls!

why? As we all know, men are far superior to women in logical thinking ability. This is an indisputable fact. Therefore, we rarely find well-known mathematician and physicists are men. There are very seldom women among mathematicians and physicist. At most, women are found among chemists and biologists who are weak in logical thinking.

2.The future job prospects of science and engineering are not friendly to girls. Except for science teachers, most of the employment prospects of science and engineering are given priority to boys, such as mechanics, electronics, civil engineering, and other majors are given priority to most men. They all refuse to recruit girls!

At this time, you may ask that girls who are physically strong are not dominant, but majors such as IT, telecommunications and other majors who are mentally based are not always patriarchal! The answer is that it may disappoint you.

Girls are equally discriminated against in these majors. Take the IT major as an example. The golden working age of a code farmer is probably between 25-35 years old. Why? One word “tired”. Because I have to “996” and “007” at every turn, it’s really tiring.

Even if a person can last to 35 years old, the hair of a programmer generally does not last until 35 years old. And the golden age of this decade happens to be the golden decade for girls to give birth. Just imagine that you, 24 years old, graduated with a master’s degree and entered a major IT company. It takes at least two years to become an apprentice, and there are nine years left.

And if a girl gets married at this golden age, she still has to help boys raise children with housework. How unfriendly to girls, how much energy and brain power do you have to focus on work!

Imagine if you are an HR in a company and you see so many bad external factors, would you still consider recruiting girls? The answer is no!

Summary: Girls really shouldn’t study science and engineering, they are really not friendly to you, unless you are a strong woman!

Editor’s note: You’re going to die alone aren’t you…

WOMAN TIRED OF HER FIANCE WHO DOESN’T CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING

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A woman shared how her fiance doesn’t care about their marriage proposal, wedding and house hunting, and is asking others if they would stay in they were in her shoes.

Here is the story

Bf does not care about proposal, wedding, house – suggestion and help needed for a lost lady here

I have been with my bf for 4 yrs. We are in our early 30’s. I am now not sure if this man is serious and if we should continue this relationship.

So he proposed to me in Dec 2021, because of a deadline he had promised my dad about one year ago.

He asked me about my dream proposal – location, ring design, proposal day details. He ended up picking glamping even though I had previously commented that glamping only looks glam but is not to my liking. He also got the ring design wrong, despite us visiting 10 shops to show him my ideal design. For dinner, the package we booked was bbq but he did not clarify with them carefully – it turned out to be DIY bbq instead of them bbq for you. So after all the hiccups, we just decided to go nearby for dinner.. Which we ended up eating at 10PM? I was starving. I am so upset with the proposal, but am I asking too much? What’s the point of asking what I want when he didn’t deliver on anything?

Secondly, we have been house hunting for a resale flat for about one year now. But I feel he hasn’t been serious in finding a house. He will always distract me with other plans and I will forget it. So basically, every month or so I will have to check back with him if he has found anything. I will always send him potential listings but he lacks involvement. Sometimes, I would even ask him to WhatsApp the agent to check on the listing, but it would slip his mind. It seems I will have to be the one finding the house on my own. He would keep sending my listings that do not meet our previously discussed criteria, let alone ethnic quota, which he has done so many times.

3rd rant. We are looking to get married in June. An intimate-style wedding. As the deadline is tight, I thought it is OK to start planning ASAP. I have already started doing research on the venue, photography, videography, which are the main things I suppose. He just lepak and let me do all the work. We want something more affordable and it definitely requires some effort and research. At some point of time, he even mentioned that he wanted to get it done and over with.

I’m just sad about his lack of involvement in almost everything. He seems like it just does not bother him as much? Especially after he often makes it known what he wants but does not actually take any action on his part. He doesn’t seem to care about what is important to me despite me actively sharing it with him way too many times. I am tired. I’m not sure if I am expecting too much from him.

What should I do? Would you stay if your partner treats you like this?

Netizens’ comments

Oh get use to it. It will get worse after you married to him. Like you want some appreciation of what u did, he will give you nothing but silence treatment.

This is life.

If u really want something, get it yourself. You dun need a man to give u what u want.

MOTHER TELLS SON SHE’D RATHER HAVE HIS EX-WIFE AS HER CHILD THAN HIM

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A woman shared how she told his son she’d rather have his ex-wife as her daughter than him as her son.

Here is the story:

“I told my son i’d rather have his ex wife as a daughter than him as my son after he got cut out of the will?

16 years ago my son Matthew had a daughter with his now ex-wife Melissa. I have always thought of Melissa as my own daughter, so when they divorced 7 years ago due to my son cheating, I was conflicted and disappointed.

Melissa wasn’t particularly close with any of her family, so my husband and I naturally took them in.

Melissa was an angel, she had insisted that we didn’t have to lift a finger more than before we had taken them in and though she was hurt, she kept civil around Matthew.

My husband and I held a huge hand in raising their daughter Vivian, because Matthew remarried less than a year later and now has a four year old son after disowning Vivian.

Two years ago my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, it was hard on everyone, especially Vivian. They were extremely close, she told him about her girlfriends and boyfriends before anyone else and has always wanted him to be the one to walk her down the isle at her wedding.

Matt rarely ever visited and didn’t answer our calls often saying that we had other kids so it wasn’t like my husband was dying lonely.

Last night Matt stopped by to talk about inheritance, he never mentioned Melissa nor Vivian and hinted that he thought he should get more inheritance than his siblings the entire time.

My husband and I shared awkward looks until he decided to cut in, he explained that everyone would get a piece, but he’d focus more on Vivian and Shu Hui (one of our other grandkids).

Matt got angry and said that Vivian was just a b—–d and that his son deserved more than her, my husband got furious after that and left the room saying that he wouldn’t include Matthew at all.

Matt yelled back and turned to me saying that Vivian wasn’t worth it because she’d just grow up to be a whore like her mother, I told him that i’d rather have her mother as my daughter than him as my son and insisted that he leave.

I’m getting phone calls from Matt’s wife and family friends saying that my husband and I overreacted and he was just angry that we were playing favorites.”

Editor’s note: Leave him $1 in the will so he can’t kpkb say you forgot about him.

LEGENDS OF THE HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVAL & WHY PEOPLE BURN JOSS PAPERS & MAKE OFFERINGS

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The Hungry Ghost Month stands as a captivating bridge between the realms of the living and the departed, a time when ancestral spirits are believed to roam the earth, seeking solace and nourishment from their living descendants.

This ancient tradition, deeply rooted in history and surrounded by a veil of legends, takes us on a journey into the heart of human spirituality, cultural heritage, and the mysterious practice of burning joss papers.

The Origins and Evolution of the Hungry Ghost Month

Ancient Beginnings: The roots of the Hungry Ghost Month can be traced back to ancient Chinese folklore and religious beliefs. It is said to have originated during the Han Dynasty, gaining prominence through the fusion of Taoist and Buddhist customs with local practices.

This period, falling on the seventh month of the lunar calendar, holds special significance as it is believed to be a time when the gates of the underworld open, allowing spirits to revisit the mortal realm.

Buddhist and Taoist Influence: The evolution of the Hungry Ghost Month was greatly shaped by the influence of Buddhism and Taoism. Buddhist teachings on karma, reincarnation, and the afterlife intertwined with Taoist beliefs in spirits and the balance of yin and yang, giving rise to a unique blend of rituals and practices that define this sacred month.

Mulian’s Journey to the Underworld

Perhaps one of the more famous legends about the origins of the Hungry Ghost Festival is the story of Mulian rescuing his mother from hell.

The narrative begins with Mulian, a devoted and virtuous Buddhist monk renowned for his wisdom and compassion. He discovers through his meditations that his deceased mother has been reborn in a realm of torment and suffering due to her past misdeeds.

Filled with concern and a sense of filial duty, Mulian is determined to alleviate his mother’s suffering and guide her to a better rebirth.

With unwavering resolve, Mulian seeks guidance from the Buddha, who instructs him on a path to rescue his mother’s soul. The Buddha provides Mulian with special powers, enabling him to travel to the underworld and communicate with the spirits dwelling there.

Armed with divine knowledge and supernatural abilities, Mulian embarks on his perilous journey to the underworld. He encounters numerous obstacles and challenges along the way, facing menacing demons and treacherous landscapes. Despite these trials, Mulian’s determination and unwavering compassion drive him forward.

During his journey, Mulian witnesses the suffering of countless souls trapped in the cycle of birth and death. He encounters souls enduring various forms of punishment for their past actions and learns of the consequences of negative karma. These experiences deepen Mulian’s resolve to rescue his mother and alleviate the suffering of all sentient beings.

Arriving in the realm where his mother resides, Mulian witnesses her enduring immense hardship and torment. Her actions in her past life have led her to this unfortunate state, and she is unable to escape the cycle of suffering.

He sees that his mother has been nailed down with forty-nine iron spikes. He seeks Buddha’s help and is given a rod to smash prison walls and release the prisoners of hell to a higher reincarnation, but his mother is not released. Mulian’s mother is reborn as a hungry ghost who can never eat her fill because her neck is too thin.

Mulian tries offering her food but no matter how much food he gives her, the food bursts into flame just as it reaches her mouth.

To rescue her from this torture, the Buddha instructs Mulian and all filial sons to provide a grand feast on the fifteenth day of the seventh month, the time when monks emerge from their summer retreat, which eventually became the Hungry Ghost Festival that we know now.

His mother is reincarnated once again, this time as a black dog, Mulian recites sutras for seven days and seven nights, and his mother is reborn as a human again. In the end she is reborn again and can attain the joys of heaven.

The Significance of Burning Joss Papers

Symbolic Offerings: Central to the Hungry Ghost Month is the practice of burning joss papers, also known as “spirit money” or “ghost money.” These intricately crafted paper offerings are believed to carry value in the afterlife and serve as a means of providing for the needs of the departed spirits.

Nourishing the Ancestors: By burning joss papers, people aim to nourish and provide comfort to their ancestors and wandering spirits. The act symbolizes a way of fulfilling the spirits’ material and financial needs in the spiritual realm.

Bridging the Gap Between Worlds: The act of burning joss papers serves as a symbolic gesture to maintain a connection between the living and the departed. It is a way of showing respect, acknowledging the presence of spirits, and fostering a harmonious relationship between the two realms.

Rituals and Practices During the Hungry Ghost Month

Elaborate Altars: Families create elaborate altars adorned with offerings of food, incense, and joss papers. These altars act as a focal point for reverence, allowing families to pay homage to their ancestors and provide for their spiritual well-being.

Theatrical Performances and Street Operas: The Hungry Ghost Month is also a time of vibrant cultural performances, including street operas and theatrical shows. These performances entertain both the living and the spirits, adding a sense of festivity to the observance.

Candlelight Processions: Candlelight processions and floating lanterns illuminate the nights, guiding and honoring the spirits as they roam the earth. These luminous displays symbolize the guiding light that leads the departed to a place of peace.

Image source: Albert Ivan Damanik via Wikipedia Commons

MALE “V” SICK OF BEING LOOKED LIKE A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED

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A guy shared how he is sick of people treating Vs like they are a problem that needs to be fixed.

Here is the story

The way people behave towards male adult V is incredibly toxic and I’m (23M) sick of dealing with it.

No we don’t all hate women, yes I do in fact shower every day and take care of myself and no, a man just not having had intimate relations yet is not a “red flag” in dating.

If people automatically assumed a female V must be a toxic unkempt misandrist, people would rightfully call that out as unacceptable behaviour, yet these stereotypes are somehow fine when it comes to men…?

I’m also incredibly tired of having to listen to the same “advice” again for the millionth time whenever another guy finds out I’m a V.

“Yeah bro you just need to do X!” No, it’s not that easy. Just cause it was easy for you, doesn’t mean it is that easy for everyone.

And that’s completely fine, but stop telling me how to live my life just because you somehow see my V as a “problem” that you need to “fix”.

It’s incredibly condescending.

Many men are just shy or don’t feel ready yet. That shouldn’t be something we ought to feel ashamed of. It doesn’t automatically mean we’re some incel loser.

MAN UPGRADED TATTOO OF CHEATING WIFE’S NAME WITH A TOMBSTONE

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When me and my wife first got married we got matching tattoos of each other names.

Well recently she cheated on me and we got a divorce. She got her tattoo of my name removed, and I was planning on getting mine removed but then I got a better idea. I called my tattoo artist and I got a tombstone on her name and under it, it says “rot in H”.

When I went over to her apartment to pick up my 8-year-old daughter she pointed out the work I got on my Tattoo. I asked if she liked it, she just laughed awkwardly and that was the end of it for now.

Later that night I’m watching TV with my daughter and my phone start going off like crazy, it was my ex. She was saying how hurtful it was to see what I did to the tattoo, and how I should’ve gotten it removed.

I feel kinda bad after talking to her about the tattoo but well she cheated so she probably deserved it.

Here are what netizens think:

Divorce It’s tough on everyone, but especially on your children. This is an awful thing for your child to see. Whether you like your ex or not she is still her mother. This is a major jerk move

a few wives later and we’ll have a beautiful Cemetery-

as a woman, if I saw a man with this tattooed on his body I would run the other direction. It really does not show a healthy way of dealing with issues.

I wouldn’t date a man with a tattoo like that. No way would I want to be wife number 2 and risk eventually having my own tombstone on his arm.

Yea. I fully get wishing the ex was dead. But not if there is a kid

GIRL’S CLOSE GUY FRIEND TOLD HER THAT SHE “BROTHER-ZONED” HIM

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A netizen shared how one of her close male friends just told her that she “brother-zoned” him, which is the next level of “friendzone”.

Here is the story

One of my close male friends just told me I “brother-zoned him”

I went out to dinner tonight with my friend who I’ve known since we were young kidis, we get dinner often, this isn’t something new.

I took a bite of food from his plate, and while eating it asked “can I have a bite of this?”

He laughed and said “I like how you eat it before you ask”

I laugh too and say “that’s something my sister and I would do, you’re like my brother” thinking this was a compliment.

His reaction was not what I expected.

Apparently the only thing worse than being friendzoned is being “brother-zoned”. Which I didn’t even know was a thing.

Netizens’ comments

  • Never heard of it.

I would think getting “Brother-zoned” is the highest level you can reach. Officially family. By choice, not forced by blood.

  • Only if your objective is a platonic friendship, I suspect. Maybe op’s male friend wanted something more intimate?
  • This is strange…I’m a guy, and the woman that is my best female friend I regularly tell her that she’s like the sister I always wanted instead of the one I got, and she will tell me I’m like the older brother she never had.

I’ve always felt like that meant that we had reached a point where our friendship was actually more about love, but not in a romantic way, in a “you’re a part of my family” way.

I’ve never even heard anyone say “brother-zoned,” and find it really odd.